Intent

by A. D. Justice

  “Let me get this straight. You were pressured into marrying me, having a baby with me, even just being with me. Two years of making love to me without producing a baby proved to you we weren’t meant to be. The thought of being a father freaked you out, but it sure as hell didn’t affect your performance when you were fucking Cyndi after you impregnated her. I call complete and utter bullshit on every word you just said. Don’t call me again.”

  “No, Layne, wait!” are the last words I hear before I hang up on him.

  After I silence my phone, I climb the stairs to the second floor of the spacious cabin and walk into the large master bedroom. The double French doors lead out to a balcony overlooking the river between this house and Ace’s. Marcia has furnished this cabin with all the best amenities, one of them being the plush chaise lounger that gives a perfect view of Ace’s house through the trees.

  Stretched out on the lounger, I release the pent-up anger and anxiety Bobby’s call created through my hot, salty tears. The numbness I felt has dissipated, and the plethora of feelings threaten to overwhelm me. Then I see movement on Ace’s deck, but my vision is blurry from tears. Since I don’t have a tissue, I use my sleeve to dry my eyes to get a better look.

  I’d recognize that stance from a mile away. Even in the dark, with only an outline of a shadow, I’d know him. Whether he’s displaying his tough, strong side or his intuitive, thoughtful side, he projects pure strength in every move he makes. The way he stands—his head held high, his chest naturally protruding, and his hands in fists at his waist—exudes masculinity. Simply watching Ace Sharp standing on his back porch has fully distracted me from the dark thoughts and feelings Bobby elicited.

  His arm raises and waves at me. He knows I’m watching him. I’m completely busted and there’s no way to hide it, so I wave back. He retrieves something from his pocket and holds it up for me to see. The flash of the lit screen of his phone alerts me that he’s about to call me, so I grab mine in anticipation.

  “Hello,” I answer.

  “Layne.” The low-pitched timbre of his voice sounds so sensuous over the phone. “Are you stalking me again?”

  I can’t help my reaction—I actually giggle in embarrassment from his playfulness. “I was out here first. So, technically, you’re stalking me again.”

  “I’m definitely stalking you, beautiful. But don’t worry, you’ll love it,” he promises.

  I have no doubt he’ll keep his word.

  Chapter Ten

  Layne

  Ace smiles broadly at my approach when I arrive at the rehab center to see Frankie. “Come walk with me to catch Frankie,” he requests and holds out his hand. I slide my hand in his and he interlocks our fingers. “Now you can’t spook and run away from me.”

  “Where would I go?” I chuckle.

  “Where are you from?” he asks and catches me off guard.

  “New York,” I confirm his suspicion.

  “Ah, she reveals information about herself.” He grins and squeezes my hand.

  “I just thought you should know at least that, since you’re stalking me, after all.”

  “Are you helping me? Making sure I know where to find you?”

  “I’m not planning on going anywhere, Ace,” I reply. “You’ll just have to stalk me around here.”

  He stops walking and turns to face me. “I’m going to hold you to that, beautiful.”

  “You meant it when you said you wanted to take a chance on us,” I whisper.

  Ace tilts his head, the natural blond highlights in his light brown hair gleaming in the bright sunshine. He narrows his eyes at me ever so slightly before he replies. “I absolutely meant it. I don’t say things if I don’t intend to see it through. Around here, you’re a man of your word or you’re no man at all.”

  His free hand cups my cheek, and he continues to gaze deep into my eyes. When he leans in, I’m ready for the kiss I know is coming. Only his kiss has ever affected me this much, in so many ways. His lips brush against mine, softly as first, and then the kiss becomes urgent, needy, demanding. His arm wraps around me and pulls me closer to him, and our bodies align, my breasts pressing against his chest.

  He pulls back first but his lips continue to hover above mine. “You test my willpower in the best ways.”

  “I’d love to know how you have such strong willpower. Apparently, I have none.”

  “You can’t say that to me when my self-control is hanging by a thread. We’ll both end up in jail for lewd behavior.”

  “Temporary insanity. Caused by an overload of hormones and pheromones.”

  “Are you saying I bring out the animal in you?”

  His voice is low and sensual as his fingers grip my hair. He lulls me into a place where I don’t care about anything else. All the wrongs and hurts fade to black when I’m with him like this, when I feel his sincerity, and it makes me crave even more. The effortless mutual feelings between Ace and me make it clear to me that I tried to force my relationship with Bobby.

  “You definitely bring out the animal in me.”

  “That’s good to know,” he smirks. “I’ll use that to my advantage later.”

  Then he grabs my hand and continues walking toward Frankie. He chuckles lightly at my groan of frustration, and I’d swear that’s pride written all over his face. The way Tara, the waitress in town, spoke of him, it sounded as if he was the most desired man around. Surely he has his pick of women to date.

  “So, tell me about Ace Sharp. What else do I not know about you?” I try to keep my tone light—not too inquisitive, not too interested. Not too desperate for information.

  “There’s not much to know. I’m a thirty-year-old equine specialist and half owner of Oak Grove Equine Therapy with Justin. My younger sister, Lily, and I both went off to college, and we both returned to our hometown afterward because we love it here. My dad died when I was a teenager. Lily is six years younger than me, so she was still a kid when we lost him. My mom raised us alone; she never remarried after she lost my dad. I think she did a pretty good job, though. Neither one of us is a serial killer.”

  No voluntary mention of River’s mom, which means I now have to ask.

  “Were you and River’s mom married?”

  “No.” He shakes his head. “She was in the same class as Lily, and they had been close friends at one point. This is such a small town that everyone knows each other, regardless of age, but I’d been around her when she hung out with Lily. Anyway, after she graduated from high school, we started seeing each other. She wound up pregnant.” He inhales a deep breath, releases it on a heavy sigh, and stops walking. “You’ll probably think badly of me for saying this, but I didn’t want to marry her. Even knowing she was carrying my baby, I still didn’t want to marry her.”

  He tries to gauge my reaction, but I intentionally keep my expression neutral. I want him to keep going, to finish the story. What I don’t want is for him to feel any kind of judgment from me. Not shock, disgust, or pity.

  “One thing my mom always stressed to Lily and me was to marry for love, for life. I loved her, but I knew Margot, River’s mom, wasn’t my forevermore. I tried to explain it to her the way my mother explained it to me, but apparently, I wasn’t as effective as dear old mom. Unfortunately, I learned how severe postpartum depression can be firsthand. Even though it still haunts me, it’ll be River who ultimately struggles with it when she’s old enough to understand what happened.”

  I feel like such a selfish bitch. Here I’ve been so self-centered and consumed with my breakup with Bobby, and Ace has been blaming himself for the death of River’s mother. I’m glad I know what happened since it helps me understand him better, but I feel bad for turning the conversation to something so painful for him. Dealing with the aftermath of suicide is bad enough in itself, but feeling as though he had some hand in it must be killing him slowly.

  “Ace, I know a little about postpartum depression. Granted, it’s just from my research of it and not from personal e
xperience. But nothing you did or didn’t do would have contributed to her actions. It doesn’t work like that. You can’t blame yourself for what her body’s natural hormones caused. Even a huge wedding with all the trimmings wouldn’t have changed that.”

  “So you don’t think I’m a terrible person for not wanting to marry the mother of my child?”

  His words remind me that Bobby didn’t want to marry me. Now I know that he still wouldn’t have, even if I’d gotten pregnant with his baby. I also know that it wasn’t fair of me to expect it, to try to force him to in a passive-aggressive way. Regardless of how badly I thought I wanted a life with him, it wouldn’t have been a happy home because it wouldn’t have been out of a mutual desire to be married.

  “No, I don’t. I think you’re very wise to have recognized that she wasn’t the one you wanted to spend your life with, to give your last name to, and to be together till death do you part. That is sacred, Ace, and you have every right to have that. Maybe divorce rates wouldn’t be so high if more people listened to your mother’s advice.”

  “You understand exactly what feelings I can’t put into words.”

  I drop my eyes from the shame I feel at my own shenanigans. “I do understand, Ace. I understand both sides, thanks to you. Even though I’m ashamed to admit it, I hoped that getting pregnant with Bobby’s baby would make him want to marry me. Don’t misunderstand, I honestly wanted a baby and would’ve had one with or without him. But every version of the future that I envisioned had us married, happily living in the suburbs, and having the picture-perfect life.

  “But now, I’m so very thankful it didn’t work out. It seems strange to say this, but it was a blessing in disguise that I never got pregnant. That I never had to face that whole scenario. That I never had to feel guilty for pushing him into something that wasn’t what he really wanted in the first place.”

  “Selfishly, I’m also very glad none of it happened.” Then he smiles that smile—the mischievous, little boy who does no wrong smile. “If I’d met you after, I would’ve been forced to run your husband off, and people really frown on that sort of behavior.”

  The way he’s so open with his thoughts, feelings, and flirting still catches me off guard at times. It’s so different than what I’m used to, but I’m quickly learning to love it. The surprise of never knowing what he’ll say, the thrill of how his words affect me, and the rich way his sexy voice fills my senses makes me feel reckless, desired, and protected all at once.

  “Ace, your kidding and flirting will get you in trouble one day.” I shake my head and cut my eyes at him, trying not to let my laugh break free.

  “Kidding and flirting?” he asks incredulously. A little exaggerated, in my opinion. “I’m not kidding about anything. The truth is I’m more intrigued by you than I’ve ever been by anyone else in my life. I’ve never wanted to spend every waking minute with a woman before you. Never wanted to spend every sleeping minute with one either, before now. And all the things we’ll do in between those waking and sleeping minutes. I want to know everything there is to know about you.

  “In case you haven’t noticed, I can be a little possessive of what I consider mine.” He grins, knowing I fully remember that day in the field when I was on his property, petting his horse. “To be clear, I consider you to be mine now, and I’m yours. I’ve never been good at the whole learning to share thing, and that definitely applies to you.”

  He waits for my response, but I’ve never been so tongue-tied. It seems to be a recurring problem when I’m around Ace. The man has no filter and no fear—a dangerous combination to my mind and my heart. But one I couldn’t resist even if I wanted to. Which I don’t. Even though I’ve never been good at sharing my innermost feelings, I actually want to tell Ace everything.

  “It feels sudden, rash, and completely illogical.” I hesitate for a second. “But it feels right. Am I crazy for wanting this so much, Ace? Are we rushing into this relationship without thinking through all the ramifications? Will it just fade away at the end of summer and be nothing more than a fling?”

  His hands cup my face and draw me close to his. His warm, minty breath wafts across my face and his woodsy, masculine scent surrounds me. “We are not a fling. What I feel for you grows stronger every single day. If you’re crazy for wanting me, then I’m completely insane for the way I want you, Layne. We don’t know where this will take us, but we’ll figure it out together. If this isn’t what you want, if you’d rather just remain friends and leave without looking back at the end of the summer, tell me now.”

  What should I do? Throw all caution to the wind and jump in headfirst? Wade in a little at time and perhaps then plunge into the deep? Or walk away now, before it’s too late, before we both get caught in the rapid waters?

  I’ll let my heart decide.

  “I couldn’t go back to being just a friend now, knowing you like I do. Knowing how your lips feel on mine. How your hands feel on my skin. Thinking of another woman experiencing that with you would drive me to do something crazy. We’ll figure this out together, and we won’t let worrying about what happens in the future ruin today.”

  “So you agree you’re all mine?”

  “I’m definitely all yours,” I whisper against his lips and move into his arms as they drop around my waist.

  “I want to take you on our first official date tonight,” Ace replies. “Show you off to the town.”

  “I’d love to. Where are we going?”

  “To the county fair. Everyone will be there tonight, riding rides, eating cotton candy and corn dogs, and socializing with all the town bigwigs. It’ll be the perfect time for me to show off my girl.”

  “I love how that sounds.”

  “Good, you’ll be hearing it a lot after the gossips see us together. I plan to give them plenty of fodder to last them a lifetime.” His tone holds an amused warning and an impatient anticipation. “But for now, we still need to get Frankie. Think you can charm him again?”

  “I’ll definitely try.”

  Frankie has been watching us from several yards away for the last few minutes. He slowly inched up from the river below but stopped short of actually reaching us. He wants to join us, to be accepted and a member of a family, but he’s afraid to trust people again. Ace remains still as I approach Frankie.

  “Come here, boy,” I call softly to him. “Come on. It’s okay.”

  Frankie lumbers toward me, taking his time and eyeing Ace as he approaches me. It feels easier each time—easier for him to trust me, easier for him to come to me, and easier for him to let me love him. He’s accepting my love and friendship, he’s healing, and he’s beginning to join the land of the living again.

  I feel Ace step up behind me before he speaks. “Take hold of his halter under his chin and let’s walk him back up to the round pen.”

  Doing as he says, I hold my arm out to keep Frankie in his space but walking with me. When we reach the round pen, Ace quickly walks ahead and opens the gate to allow Frankie and me to walk straight in. After I release him, I scratch behind his ear and tell him what a good boy he’s been for me. He’s relaxed, and it’s a beautiful sight to watch him at ease around others.

  “Layne, you know Zoe Sullivan, right?” Justin calls out.

  When I turn my head, I see the young cashier standing beside Justin. “Yes, of course. I’ve looked for you a couple of times in the grocery store, but you weren’t there. It’s good to see you again.”

  She smiles weakly, and I realize why she’s here. Then it hits me why they needed Frankie in the pen today. It wasn’t just for me to work with him. It was also for him to work with Zoe. Now that I know the type of work Ace and Justin do here, I can’t help but feel a kindred spirit with the other wounded people who come here. Zoe, especially, because something in that girl has stuck with me since the day I met her. A loneliness. A need to belong.

  “Hello,” she replies shyly.

  “Zoe, why don’t you go on in and join Layne? She can
introduce you to Frankie,” Justin suggests.

  “Okay,” she mumbles. She’s clearly unconvinced about his request, but she’s at least willing to try. Justin opens the gate for her and she walks straight to me. Her hand-me-down shirt is oversized by a few sizes and hangs low on her legs. Her denim shorts are barely visible from under the hem. When she reaches me, her gaze finally meets mine. “I’m glad you’re here,” she whispers.

  “I won’t leave you until you’re ready for me to,” I reply softly. “I have plenty of time, so take your time if you want.”

  A small smile escapes and she relaxes slightly. “Thank you, Layne.”

  I simply nod in reply. “Zoe, this is Frankie,” I start. “He’s a very special horse, because he happens to like me more than he likes Justin or Ace. My guess is he’ll love you, too.”

  When I guide her hand to his neck, her uncertainty is apparent in how rigid her arm is. Once she touches him, she is every bit under his spell as I am every time I’m around him. “Hi, Frankie,” she coos softly. “You’re so beautiful.”

  Within seconds, Zoe is lost in the attention Frankie gives her. She doesn’t realize yet that the more she concentrates on taking care of him, she’s helping herself even more. “You’re doing great, Zoe. He already loves you,” I encourage her.

  Justin walks up behind us with a horse brush. “Here you are, Zoe. Why don’t you brush him? He loves that.”

  “Okay,” she replies with more enthusiasm this time. She speaks to Frankie soothingly with every deliberate stroke of the brush. She makes several loops around his body, brushing out every bit of visible dirt and showering him with every ounce of love she has. The bonding time between the two of them is beautiful to watch. When it’s over, Justin makes arrangements for Zoe to come back another day.

  “Layne, can you walk out to my car with me?” Zoe asks.

  “Of course.”

  Before we reach her car, she turns to me with tears glistening in her eyes. She places the back of her hand against her lips to hold back the sobs. After a couple of seconds of silence to regain her composure, she wipes away the tears that escaped and begins to share with me.