Intent

by A. D. Justice

  I threw my arms around her neck and hugged her tightly to me. “I’d never think that about you, Zoe. What you’re doing is the bravest act I can imagine a mother doing for her child.” I released her and leaned back pointedly to get her attention. “I would be honored to adopt your baby. But if you change your mind while you’re in the delivery room, I need you to promise you’ll tell me. I may be disappointed, but I’d never be mad or blame you for that.”

  She nodded and tears spilled over onto her cheeks. “I promise, Layne. I’ll tell you if I change my mind. But right now, I don’t see that happening. There’s no future for me here.”

  The conversation with Zoe’s parents was pretty much as bad as Zoe expected it to be. Michael and Sherry Sullivan are without a doubt the worst parents I’ve ever met. They’re middle-class and fit the classic mold of the baby boomer generation—the “me” generation. It’s clear they had Zoe later in life than most of the other residents, which leads me to believe she wasn’t planned or wanted at all. However, they had to keep up appearances with their small, insignificant social circle, so they couldn’t shirk their responsibilities and show their true colors.

  “If you’re old enough to have sex and get pregnant, you’re old enough to be out on your own,” Michael chastised.

  “When I tell the women in my book club what you’ve done, they’ll never shop at that grocery store again. They’ll drive the twenty miles to the next town,” Sherry added.

  “I’m sorry,” Zoe replied glumly, her chin nearly touching her chest and her eyes downcast.

  “Your daughter made a mistake. One I’d wager the two of you made yourselves,” I blurted out when I couldn’t take it anymore. “I’d go so far to say that you’re both jealous that your teenage daughter has the guts to make the choice you both wish you’d made about seventeen years ago.”

  They both stared at me for several long minutes in shock, tongue-tied and unsure of themselves around the crazy, rude Northerner sitting in their living room. My usual bravado was out in full force, and I maintained my glare until they looked away first.

  “Zoe, it’s time for you to pack your things,” Michael announced. “There’s nothing else either of you can say that will change my mind.”

  Zoe and I packed her clothes in the suitcase I’d borrowed from Marcia’s cabin. Zoe suggested I bring it when we first made the arrangements because she knew that would be the outcome. She’s a bright girl and she knew she wasn’t wanted at home. Her pregnancy was the perfect excuse they needed to finally be rid of her.

  Sherry, her mother, knew she could get mountains of attention and sympathy from her group of brainless, follow-the-leader friends over how her child had turned out, through no fault of her own, of course. She’d relish in the popularity it would automatically guarantee her. Michael, her father, could stick his head in the sand and pretend none of it happened, none of it mattered, and he could go on with his life in his own selfish, self-absorbed bubble.

  As much as their betrayal hurt her, Zoe has finally accepted that she’s better off without them in her life. She’s staying with me in Marcia’s enormous vacation cabin. When I explained the situation to Marcia over the phone, she responded in typical Marcia fashion. She made some vague references to roofies, shaved heads, and genitals glued to embarrassing objects that would be impossible to explain to the paramedics. Nothing that hadn’t already crossed my mind to do myself, or that I’d ever admit to in a court of law.

  Of course, Marcia also insisted that Zoe is welcome to live in the cabin as long as she needs to, even when I go back to New York. When I relayed that to Zoe, she was stunned at first because no one had been so kind and concerned about her welfare before. Then she realized she’d live in the house alone during her senior year of high school and sorrow clouded her face.

  “We’ll figure something out, Zoe,” I consoled her. “It’ll be okay, don’t worry.”

  “Today is my birthday,” she replied solemnly. “Happy big one-eight to me.”

  “Happy birthday! I wish I’d known that before now so I could’ve found you a real birthday present. How about, for now, I take you out to eat and we’ll grab an ice cream cone afterward?”

  “That sounds perfect.” She smiled. “Thank you, Layne.”

  * * *

  Today, as I spend time with River and think about that conversation with Zoe from a couple of weeks ago, I realize how different our perspectives are. Zoe sees a dismal existence in her future if she stays in Oak Grove, and I see a dismal existence in my future if I leave here. More and more, I find myself falling in love with this small town and most of the people in it.

  Ace pulls into the driveway after his workday and draws me out of my memories. River runs to greet him, covered in mud from our mud pie baking session on the riverbank, and he scoops her up in his arms. He saunters toward me, my mouth watering from watching his naturally confident stride, but he’s completely oblivious to it as he gives his attention to his daughter’s detailed report of what she’s done today.

  When he reaches me, he leans in and his full, sexy lips connect with mine. A swipe of his tongue against my lips sends shivers down my spine and I consciously withhold a moan.

  He puts River down and turns his attention to me. “And how was your day, beautiful?”

  “It’s been a great day. Sunny, warm, not a cloud in sight, and River and I had so much fun exploring.”

  “Yeah, Daddy, we found a salamander! It was under the rock in the river,” River adds excitedly.

  Ace shakes his head and chuckles. “My little tomboy. Are you ready to go in and cook some supper?”

  “Me and Laynie already cooked,” River replies.

  “Laynie and I,” I correct her. “Not me and Laynie.”

  “Oh, yeah. Laynie and I,” she amends.

  Ace looks at us quizzically and I explain. “I hope you don’t mind. She’s just so smart, so I’ve started working with her for a little while every day to give her a head start before she starts Pre-K this fall.”

  “No, I don’t mind at all. I really appreciate it. Thank you, Layne,” he replies sincerely. “You cooked supper, too?”

  “Yeah,” I admit reluctantly. “You work hard all day so I thought I’d save you the hassle today. It’s not a big deal.”

  The sound of another car catches my attention, and I look up in time to see Zoe pulling into the driveway of our cabin. I start looking for my cell phone to invite her over to eat with us. Ace knows the whole story of how her parents reacted, but I haven’t told him about the adoption yet. I’m not sure how it’ll affect our relationship, but my plan is to tell him tonight as soon as River falls asleep.

  Not knowing what to expect at the end of the season makes it difficult to think of this as a long-term relationship.

  Knowing how I feel about him makes it impossible to think this is anything but a lifelong relationship.

  When I finally find it, there’s a missed call and voice mail banner across the screen. It’s a New York number again. I call Zoe first before she raids the kitchen of all our food. Since the stress of telling her parents has subsided, her cravings have hit full force. When we disconnect, I grit my teeth and steel my nerves to listen to the voice mail message.

  It’s from Bobby. He sounds haggard and miserable, begging and pleading. “Layne, please call me back. We have to talk. There are things I need to tell you. I’m sorry for what I said when we talked last time. It came out all wrong. I was trying so hard to not fuck up that I made it even worse. Just please talk to me.”

  The expression on my face and the change in my demeanor must be transparent because Ace stops what he’s doing to watch me carefully. “Everything okay, babe?” He knows it isn’t, but he asks the polite question anyway.

  All I can do is shake my head in disgust. “I had a missed call and voice mail from a number back home. It was Bobby and he’s begging me to call him back.”

  “What does he want?” Ace straightens his spine, his expression beco
mes serious, and he moves into my personal space as if to shield and protect me.

  With my hand on his chest, I try to reassure him. “He said he has something to tell me. I’m okay, Ace. My reaction was simply because I really don’t care what he has to say. What’s done is done, and he can’t change it now.”

  His brows draw down before he replies in an ominous tone. “I’d be glad to relay the message to him. In my own words.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  ACE

  “Squirt is bathed, pajama’d, and already asleep. You must’ve worn her out today.”

  “Pajama’d?” Layne asks teasingly.

  “That’s a legit word.”

  “No wonder I’m having such a hard time teaching her to speak correctly,” Layne laughs. “That is definitely not a legit word.”

  “I love that you speak your mind, Layne. I don’t have to wonder if you’re harboring some secret resentment because you can’t speak up for yourself. You put me in my place when I need it, but I never have to question if you have my back. I can’t tell you how unique that is to find someone like that around here.”

  Well, fuck. Listen to me pouring my feelings out faster than I can pour a beer. Aren’t I Mr. Sensitive-Touchy-Feely Ace Sharp? There is just something about Layne that brings out the whipped pussy in me. Apparently, she also brings out the possessive, jealous man in me, too. When she said Bobby had called her again, begging her to talk to him, I wanted to have a man-to-man talk with him right then. By the time I got done with him, he’d have no doubt who the man in Layne’s life is now. He sure as hell doesn’t fit that bill.

  “Speaking of speaking my mind,” she replies pensively and instantly puts me on high alert. She’s never hesitant to tell me what’s on her mind.

  “Let’s hear it. Spit it out.”

  She starts by reminding me of Zoe’s current pregnant state and her parents’ reaction to it.

  “Yes, I’m well aware. She just had dinner with us a little while ago before going back to the cabin you’re now sharing with her. She’s not wearing the oversized clothes to hide it anymore, so her advanced pregnancy is clearly visible. And?”

  Next, she reminds me of Zoe’s age and how her senior year of high school is coming up soon. Again, I’ve known Zoe all her life, so this is not news to me. I’m still waiting for the bombshell. She then shares Zoe’s aspirations to move to Athens and have the full college experience at UGA. Without conscious thought, my eyes drift down the hall to River’s bedroom door and I try to picture myself in this same situation at seventeen years old instead of thirty.

  I’m beginning to understand the predicament.

  “Zoe asked me to adopt her baby and raise it as my own. She has such a bright future, but she knows she won’t be able to provide for this baby if she stays here. I’ve told you about my problems conceiving and how very much I want a baby. So, I’ve agreed to adopt her baby,” Layne explains. “We’ve already filed the petition for adoption with the court.”

  I’m completely dumbfounded for a moment as I try to assimilate the ramifications of Layne’s decision. What does this mean for us? This is more serious than one of us driving up in a brand-new car and convincing the other one it was a good investment. Adopting a child is a wonderful thing, but shouldn’t we have talked about it together first?

  “How long have you two been planning this?”

  “She asked me after the race on the river, when we were on the playground together, and I agreed after we’d talked about it for a while.”

  I feel my head nodding slowly, not entirely in agreement, but more in understanding. My gaze is fixed on the blank TV screen directly in front of me. She’s waiting for me to respond, but I can’t look at her at this second. Like an idiot, I’ve apparently misread our entire relationship and expected it to be more. This is what I get for giving love another chance to fuck me over.

  “Hmm,” I finally reply. “That sounds great for you. You’re finally getting what you’ve always wanted.”

  She shifts on the couch, turning sideways to fully face me. “Ace, now isn’t the time to hold back what you really think. Talk to me.”

  “Talk to you?” I retort in disbelief as I jerk my head to the side to look at her. “You mean the same way you talked to me about this decision before you agreed to it? Don’t get me wrong—I think this is the best course for her and for you. I guess I’m just now realizing that I don’t factor into the equation at all. You gave no consideration to me before plunging headlong into a decision that impacts both of us. No giving me the benefit of being part of the decision that you made two weeks ago.

  “Do you have any idea what the first question that popped into my mind was? I’ll tell you. I thought, ‘What does this mean for us?’ Us. As in you and me. As in a couple. But now that I think about it, the answer to my question is crystal clear. You don’t see ‘us’ as a couple. You don’t see a future for ‘us.’ There isn’t an ‘us.’ There’s you and there’s me. Separate.”

  Pent-up energy, anger, and a sense of betrayal propel me off the couch and onto my feet. As I pace around the room, I think about how fucked up the rest of the summer will be with her living next door to me. So close but so far away. There’ll be no more of our late-night lovemaking, holding her tightly until we fall asleep, or waking up with her in my arms. No more evening strolls with River walking between us, holding our hands and watching the sunsets—like a family. I feel like such a fucking fool.

  “You’re partially right,” she replies softly. “I should’ve talked to you about it sooner. I’m so sorry I didn’t. Even more than that, I’m sorry I’ve made you feel like you’re not a very significant part of my life. That couldn’t be further from the truth, Ace. Zoe, Lily, and I had just been talking about my feelings for you a few minutes before this conversation with Zoe occurred. It all happened so fast and I didn’t want to miss what may be my only chance. Zoe was so adamant that her mind was made up to put her baby up for adoption one way or another.

  “The truth is, Ace, I do see us. I do want us—all four of us. The only thing I’m unsure about is what happens to us when my leave from work is over. When the summer ends, do we end too? You said before that we’d go where the summer never ends, and my heart believed you. But my mind says that’s just an imaginary place and a way to avoid dealing with the reality that’s right in front of us. I didn’t know what else to do, or even how to ask you if you wanted to adopt a baby with me.”

  Layne stops talking for a moment and I hear the telltale sounds of sniffles coming from behind me. I turn to look at her, and the sight of Layne’s tearstained cheeks deeply disturbs the caveman protector in me. The urge to lash out and annihilate the bastard who made my girl cry is strong. My hands curl into fists and I take a step toward her, intent on comforting her, until I realize that I’m the bastard who made her cry.

  She wipes her eyes and somehow sounds even sadder when she speaks again. The tears continue to stream down her face so fast that she gives up trying to wipe them away. She slides to the edge of the couch, slightly leans forward, and props her forearms on her legs. The vise in my chest squeezes tighter with every tear that hits the floor.

  “When I said I’m falling for you, you said you’d fall with me. I am so in love with you I can’t even picture my life back in New York anymore. I should be scared of this, of giving you my heart after what I’ve been through. But all I can see is you and me and River and now this baby as a family. I don’t know exactly how we’ll stay together, but you are all I can see. My biggest fear is that you’ll let me get on that plane and leave here forever.”

  She pushes up from the couch without looking at me and picks up her purse sitting on the floor beside her. When she turns toward the door, my feet spring into action before my mind even thoroughly registers what’s happening. From behind her, my arms wrap around her waist and hold her tightly to me. My mouth is against her ear and I make my heartfelt plea. I can only hope it’s enough.

  “Pleas
e don’t go. Don’t leave me, Layne. You’re all I can see for the rest of my life. And I’ve had those exact thoughts—that I should run, hide, protect myself and my daughter—but I can’t. My forever starts and ends with you. I want to be the one who makes you happy. The one you run to first. The one who protects you. I swear, I’d never let you get anywhere near that plane. There is nothing I wouldn’t do just to be with you. I am such a fucking idiot. I love you so damn much, but apparently I just assumed you knew that. Stay with me.”

  I’m holding my breath waiting for her to decide, but I can’t release her from my embrace. My heart is thumping in my chest, my lungs are burning and revolting against me, but the strength in my arms hasn’t waned. When I feel her tense muscles suddenly relax throughout her entire body, I can breathe again. She lets me take her purse from her hand and drop it beside the couch. Since I know she isn’t leaving, I loosen my grip just enough to turn her around to face me.

  The sadness in her eyes makes my stomach drop to my ankles. One arm is still wrapped around her waist as the other hand slides up her body, her neck, and to her face to wipe away the stray tears. She inhales a haggard breath to try to soothe her frayed emotions.

  “I want to be the one who makes you cry tears of happiness. Never tears of pain,” I whisper.

  “I want that, too,” her small voice replies. “I’m crying because I thought I’d lost you.”

  “Never,” I vow. “I’m sorry I made you feel that way. Thinking I’d lost you made me a little crazy.”

  “Never,” she replies.

  Our mouths clash in an all-consuming need to reconnect, to feel the closeness only one union can provide, to consummate the oath we willingly made. Her soft lips yield to mine, handing over control of the pace and intensity. My hand slides through her thick blond hair, and I tilt her head to deepen our kiss. Urgent doesn’t begin to describe our insatiable need. She tastes so good I can’t get enough of her. The erotic way her tongue glides across mine, slick, warm, and wet, sends arcs of electricity to my cock and makes it instantly rock hard.