Breathing 02 - Barely Breathing

by Rebecca Donovan

Sara handed me my jacket and the bag that held Evan's gift. "Your parents are letting me move in with her," I announced.

  "Well, then I guess it's official." Sara held the door open for me to follow.

  "I guess so," I returned, my stomach flipping with the realization.

  I thought my knees might give out when we rounded the corner into the main lobby and I saw the back of the black tailored jacket. My eyes trailed to find his usually tousled light brown hair neatly swept to the side in a more distinguished look. He was caught up in a conversation with his brother and didn’t notice as we approached.

  Evan stopped mid-sentence when Jared’s mouth dropped open. Jared was in trouble, and it was written all over his face as Sara sauntered toward him.

  I couldn’t feel my legs moving as Evan turned around. My heart stopped at the sight of his smoky blue eyes, and a rush of heat filled my cheeks when his mouth formed that perfect smile. It had only been two weeks since he'd left for his skiing trip, but for some reason it was like I was seeing him for the first time all over again.

  “Hi,” I whispered. He stepped up to take my hand, our connection unbroken since our eyes first met.

  “Hi,” he responded, still smiling. He tilted his head down to kiss me, but Sara interrupted.

  “We need to go or we’ll be late.”

  “Sure,” Evan replied, instantly snapped back to the bustling lobby of formally dressed people, most likely attending the same event. He helped me slip on my jacket. I slid on black leather gloves in preparation for January’s freeze and took his hand again.

  “What’s that?” Evan asked, gesturing toward the bag.

  “A surprise," I grinned, having waited so long to give it to him it was killing me.

  “I have one of those too,” he smirked, holding the door open for me.

  “One what?”

  “A surprise,” he revealed, smiling wider and sending another rush of color to my cheeks.

  I ducked into the limo and slid in beside Sara, since she was sitting across from Jared. Evan was forced to sit next to his brother, leaving my hand empty. I glanced across at him, and we silently exchanged the I wish I were sitting next to you too look.

  The limo pulled into a circular cobblestone driveway, and the driver came around to open the door. The restaurant resembled a mansion more than a dining establishment, with multiple eaves and glowing windows on each level.

  We were escorted to a private patio that was glassed in for the winter season, offering a spectacular view of the dark rolling ocean.

  “Wonderful! You’re here,” Vivian greeted brightly with open arms. She gripped each of her sons by the shoulders as they bent to kiss her on the cheek, then admired Sara and I after the guys helped remove our jackets.

  “Exquisite,” she declared, wrapping us each in her signature brief embrace with a brush of her lips on our cheeks. “Come. Sit down.”

  Stuart remained unmoved. Not giving us a glance since our arrival. He stoically gazed out at the ocean holding a glass of ice, filled with caramel colored liquor.

  At Vivian’s insistence, we each found a seat. I made certain to sit next to Evan at the rectangular table, with Jared and Sara across from us and Vivian and Stuart at each end. Evan took my hand under the draped table, instantly calming my nerves.

  The polite small talk began. I tried my best not to participate unless a question or comment was directed my way, and of course each time it was, I usually had my mouth full or was in mid-gulp. Sara pressed her lips together to keep from laughing, which only made me squirm uncomfortably.

  After surviving the anxiety inducing dinner, I excused myself to use the restroom and promised to meet Evan in the foyer.

  It was a struggle to hold the chiffon over my head so it wouldn't fall in the toilet. I was standing outside the bathroom door, smoothing the layers back in place, when I heard, “I don’t want to talk about this again.”

  I remained still. Not sure if I should continue around the corner, or wait until they were done. I was thankful I decided not walk in on, “She’s not your future, Evan. It’s about time you realized that. I won’t allow you to pass up on Yale to follow a girl, especially that one, across the country.”

  “It’s not your choice to make for me, Dad,” Evan bit back. “I don’t expect you to understand.”

  “Stuart, what are you doing?” Vivian beckoned from afar. “We’re going to be late.”

  I remained still, having collapsed flat against the restroom door with my heart pounding and my mind racing. What just happened? I knew Stuart was withdrawn, but I had no idea it was because he didn’t approve of me. His reaction sunk in, and my lip quivered.

  I bit my lip, taking a deep breath to compose myself. Then I walked around the corner and forced a smile when I saw Evan waiting for me with my jacket over his arm.

  “Are you okay?” he asked, inspecting my face. I pushed my smile wider with a nod of my head. I slipped my arms into the jacket with my back toward Evan, afraid he could see right through me.

  Evan held the door open and allowed me to lead the way to the limo. Sara and Jared were across from us, lost in conversation about who they deemed to be the best guitarist.

  Evan took my hand. “Are you shaking?”

  “It’s cold,” I lied, wanting to roll my eyes at my involuntary “tell”. Evan wrapped his arm around me to warm me up. I eased away the nerves, nuzzling into him.

  “Wow,” Sara admired the up lit mansion as the limo slowly crept in line with the others. A streak of nerves twisted my stomach. I felt like I was nearing the head of the line for a death defying rollercoaster ride.

  “They’re just people,” Evan assured in my ear, probably noticing I wasn’t breathing. I exhaled to relax my shoulders, squeezing his hand.

  Just people soaked in jewels of every color or poised in tailored tuxedoes, full of judgment and snide comments, I thought. We made our way through the glitz covered bodies shimmering in the candlelight. The voices swirled in time with the smooth jazz band in the ballroom.

  Everywhere I looked, I was struck by more brilliance.

  “Mrs. Mathews, this is incredible,” Sara gawked. “I’ve never seen anything so beautiful.”

  “I’m not so sure my sons would agree,” Vivian replied with a sparkling smile. My cheeks grew warm when Evan squeezed my hand. “This did turn out more spectacular than I could have hoped. I am so happy to have you all here with me. I need to greet a few more guests, but I will be expecting a dance later, Evan.” The corner of her mouth rose as she met her son’s eyes, and she glided away in the antiqued ivory dress that floated around her. Vivian was picturesque sophistication with her blond hair swept back into a French twist. I admired how collected she always remained, even in a setting that was completely overwhelming to me.

  “What was that about?” Sara demanded, looking at Evan. “Do you have some crazy dance moves or something?”

  Jared laughed, and Evan shot him a warning glance. “Evan’s Mom’s dance partner. My father refuses, and I failed out of the lessons…”

  “You took lessons?” Sara laughed, interrupting Jared.

  “Yes,” Evan finally admitted. “My mother loves to dance. And I seem to be the only one who can keep up with her without stepping on her toes.” He glared at Jared, who sneered mockingly back at him.

  “I can’t wait to see this,” Sara smirked.

  We found a lounge set in a corner away from the stifling conversations, and immersed ourselves in the details of Evan and Jared’s skiing trip in France.

  “Oh, Em, did you tell Evan about the news?” Sara burst out. It took me a moment to remember what she was talking about, hoping she wasn’t about to ruin the surprise I had wrapped in the box.

  “No,” I said slowly, then remembered with a slight nod. “Oh, I’m moving in with my mother this weekend,” I confessed casually, like I just announced I was buying a new pair of shoes.

  Jared had no idea why this was big news, but Evan narrowed his eyes. “Y
ou’re doing what?” he asked.

  "Your mother’s looking for you," Stuart interrupted from behind us. Evan turned around to view Vivian scanning the crowd. She raised her hand when she located him.

  "I’ll be right back," Evan announced, rising to escort his mother to the dance floor. I turned toward Sara, but she and Jared were already making their way through the crowd, not wanting to miss the spectacle. I was left alone in Stuart’s shadow.

  Feeling I couldn’t just walk away without appearing completely rude, I fumbled with something intelligent to say. Instead I said, “This is quite the party, huh?”

  He peered down at me as if I’d spoken in a foreign tongue, shook his head slightly and walked away.

  “Okay then,” I mouthed, glancing around to see if anyone had witnessed my humiliation. I pin-balled my way through the crowd to the ballroom. The dance floor was full of couples, but one couple stood out amongst them. They floated around with ease and grace to the cool rhythms of the Sinatra song sung by a lanky crooner.

  “Omigod,” Sara gasped next to me with a glass of champagne in her hand. “They can really dance.” My mouth popped open at the sight of Evan leading Vivian in a perfect stance, cradling her hand in his. Her eyes sparkled as they twirled around the dance floor, their feet in perfect unison.

  “Told you,” Jared interjected. “Kinda scary good, right?”

  “Very,” I floundered, finding that there were way too many things about Evan I still didn’t know.

  The song concluded, and there was an overwhelming burst of applause. Evan appeared uncomfortable, while Vivian smiled brightly. At that moment a woman with short white hair in a long sleeved black dress stepped up to the mic. Stuart joined Vivian, and Evan spotted the three of us on the opposite side of the dance floor.

  “Wow,” I admired when he slid his arm around my waist. He shrugged abashedly and redirected his attention to the speaker.

  The woman went on to recognize Vivian’s philanthropic accomplishments over the years, acknowledging her success and dedication to each cause and organization. She’d invested not only time, but her passion. I listened intently, completely astounded by all that Vivian had done. The presentation concluded with a roar of applause, and the white haired woman handed Vivian an award made of crystal with a kiss on her cheek.

  The music picked up again, and we met Vivian, along with every other person in the audience, congratulating her affectionately. Evan hugged his mother, followed by Jared and Sara. I went to congratulate her as well. She wrapped her arms around me tighter and longer than she’d ever done before and whispered into my ear, “I’m so glad you’re here with us.”

  My eyes watered instantly, understanding the intended meaning of her words. She released me and was pulled in another direction, with more words of praise.

  Evan took my hand and led me away from the crowd. I was still caught up in the moment, my head buzzing with emotion.

  “Let’s get out of here,” Evan said in my ear.

  “What? You want to leave?” I searched his face, baffled by his request.

  “Yeah. I want to show you something.”

  “Okay,” I responded, still so very confused. We retrieved our coats, and Evan escorted me out the door without saying good-bye to anyone.

  2. Fireworks

  Evan led me down the long driveway lined with limousines and town cars. We approached the parking lot, and I recognized Evan’s BMW.

  “When did your car get here?” I asked suspiciously.

  “I drove it here earlier,” he shared with a crooked grin. That’s when I realized this was part of his plan, the surprise he referenced when we left the hotel.

  He opened the passenger-side door and pulled out a backpack. He unzipped it and handed me a pair of sneakers. I eyed him apprehensively, recognizing the shoes that were supposed to be at Sara’s―which meant Sara was in on this too.

  “I figured they would be more comfortable than the heels,” he explained, tossing his black dress shoes on the floor of the car, along with his tux jacket and tie, and lacing up a pair of sneakers. I sat on the passenger seat, switching out my shoes.

  I had tried to figure out his plans in the past with little success, so I learned just to go along with them without too many questions―unless he walked us to the edge of a cliff and asked me to jump. Then I would have something to say.

  Evan found my hand again, and we continued toward the cobblestoned street lined with lanterns. My shoulder brushed against him as we walked with the crisp air swirling around us. The sky was clear, allowing the full moon to follow us like a spotlight.

  We hadn’t walked very far when Evan pulled me between two hedges that lined the bordering property.

  “Evan, where are we going?” I demanded in a panic, fearing we were trespassing and about to get caught.

  “They’re not home,” he assured me, our feet crunching in the glistening layer of untouched snow. I looked up to find a tall mansion with dramatic peaks. The windows were dark.

  “But I’m sure they have an alarm system or something,” I argued, looking around nervously, anticipating the arrival of flashing lights. I continued after him, faltering on the collapsing surface. I was forced to lift my layers out of the ankle deep snow to keep from tripping.

  “Stop worrying,” he laughed, supporting me by my elbow. “My mother knows the people who live here and even invited them to the party tonight. They’re in Brazil. I spoke with them myself about what I wanted to do, and they couldn’t care less. We’re not going in their house or anything.”

  “Really?” I questioned, slightly doubtful.

  “Really,” Evan confirmed again with a smile. “Trust me.”

  We walked beneath the long shadows of the mansion to the back terrace. I stopped in my tracks at the sight of a flickering light. “I thought you said no one was home.”

  Evan laughed again, amused by my overly panicked state. “They’re not. This is for us. I paid the limo driver to start the fire and bring over our bags.”

  “Oh.”

  It was a charming setting, with two Adirondack chairs set before a fireplace on the stone terrace, sheltered by an overhang. A portable Bose system and my gift were set on a small table off to the side. “I like this," I beamed up at him.

  We walked over to the small fireplace and stood in front of the crackling fire, absorbing its warmth. Evan stepped behind me and slid his arms around my waist, holding me against him. I turned to face him with a ridiculous smile spread across my face. “I’ve missed you.”

  “I’ve missed you, too.” Evan bent down to find me. His nose was cold against my cheek, but his breath on my lips instantly warmed my entire body. He pressed his firm mouth softly against mine, and lingered there just long enough for me to lose my breath before pulling away. My eyes remained closed, savoring the buzz on my lips.

  “I’m glad you came tonight,” he said, hovering inches away. “I know it was hard for you. But it meant a lot to my mother.”

  “I’m glad I came too. I wouldn’t have wanted to miss hearing all that was said about Vivian. She’s amazing; I had no idea.”

  Evan leaned over and kissed me, running his hand down the side of my face.

  “Do you want your present?” Evan asked when he pulled back. I began to smile, but faltered. Confusion flashed across his face. “You don’t?”

  All I could hear were Stuart Mathews’ disapproving words, and I wasn’t so sure I was excited to give him my gift any longer. “Can we wait?” I requested awkwardly.

  “Uh, no,” Evan responded with his brows pulled together, retrieving the small rectangular box from the table. “But, you can open yours first if it makes you feel better.”

  I took it from his hands nervously.

  “Go on, open it,” he encouraged impatiently. I tore the silver paper to find a long rectangular box that looked expensive. I held my breath when I opened it. A gleaming smile spread across my face when I pulled out two concert tickets.

  �
�Evan!” I jumped up to wrap my arms around his neck. “Yes! This is the perfect gift. Thank you.”

  “You're welcome,” Evan replied, hugging me back. “I wanted to be the one to take you to your first concert.”

  “When is it?” I inspected the ticket for the date. “The end of the month. Great. I won’t have to wait too long.”

  “I almost bought a third one for Sara because I know how much she loves the band, but I decided this was just for us.”

  I laughed, already hearing Sara’s groan in my head when I showed her the tickets to the sold out show she’d been dying to see.

  I put the tickets back in the box and tucked it into the inside pocket of my coat. Evan looked at me in anticipation. I pressed my lips together, fighting the urge to make up some reason not to give him his gift―but I knew I had to.

  “So, I hope you like it.” I removed the shiny green wrapped box from the bag and handed it to him, holding my breath as he opened it. He took off the lid and looked from what was inside to me, then back down again.

  “Does this mean?" His eyes lit up and his mouth curled into a stunning smile as he set the box on the chair. Despite my reservations, I couldn’t help but smile back―his excitement was too contagious. “You got in!” He swept his arms around my waist and picked me up. I yelled out in surprise, laughing. “Em, I’m so happy for you.” He kissed and hugged me again.

  “When did you find out?” Evan couldn’t stop smiling.

  “Ten days ago,” I shared as he set me back on the ground.

  “Wow. That must have been hard not to tell anyone,” he admired, knowing how much I'd wanted this. “Stanford. You totally deserve this. You didn’t even tell me that you applied for early admission.”

  I averted my eyes sheepishly. “It was hard. But I did tell Sara―sorry.”

  “When I said anyone, I didn’t count her. She’s a given.” The excitement continued to seep in. “Now I just have to find out which school accepts me so I can join you.”

  My smile faltered again.

  “What?” Evan asked, his brow furrowed in confusion.