Breathing 02 - Barely Breathing

by Rebecca Donovan

  “Wow,” I mouthed, stunned.

  “I know. It’s so stupid, and selfish, and pathetic. And totally my issue. So I should never have taken it out on you. I’m sorry.”

  I couldn’t form words. I didn’t even know what to say. It was unfathomable that Sara McKinley, the girl every guy wished would give him the time of day, the girl who had everything, wanted the one thing that I had. There had to be someone who made her feel…

  “But you do,” I realized out loud.

  “What?” She looked at me like I’d been having a conversation without her, because I pretty much had.

  “Sara, you have to give Jared a chance,” I urged. “He’s the only guy who's ever made you feel truly amazing. I mean, you like him so much you wouldn’t even have sex with him.”

  “Hey.” She gave me an offended shove, but a smile emerged on her face. Then it disappeared in the next breath. “Em, I can’t. It doesn’t make sense.”

  “Yeah it does,” I countered. “Why don’t you just try? What do you have to lose?”

  “My heart,” Sara answered without pause. She took a breath and rested her head on my shoulder. “Do you forgive me?”

  “Sara, I just want you to be okay. I'm not sure how to make you feel better, but I’ll try.”

  "I have an idea," she grinned deviously. It was almost like I'd set her up to tell me, "You can help me throw a party next weekend."

  "A what?" I questioned, afraid I’d just heard her ask me to help her with a party.

  "It will be the best way to take out all of my frustration," she explained with a devilish gleam in her eye. "It'll have a theme and everything."

  "I'm afraid to ask."

  “It’ll be my Love Stinks party,” she boasted, like it was the best idea ever. "And it can even have rules."

  “Rules?” I questioned in disbelief. “Since when do parties have rules?”

  “Mine will,” she stated proudly. “Since it’s a Love Stinks party, no one will be allowed to touch the opposite sex. So, no hook ups, kissing, or hand holding.”

  I stared at her with my mouth open. “That’s… cruel.”

  “Are you going to help me with my party and enforce my rules or what?” Sara demanded with a tilt of her head. "You said you wanted me to feel better. This will make me feel better."

  "Torturing everyone else on Valentine's Day?"

  "Yes," she smiled smugly.

  “Fine," I caved, dreading this already. "How are we going to enforce your rules?”

  “I haven’t decided yet,” she pondered, giving it serious consideration.

  “Great. This is going to be ranked the best party of the year.”

  “It better be,” Sara replied seriously. I shot her a skeptical look―she ignored me.

  Sara stood up, “Wanna watch the rest of the game?”

  I’d almost forgotten we’d left Jonathan in the living room, watching the game by himself. I stood to join her.

  Before opening the door she offered, “I’m sorry for kicking your snowman’s face in.” She was trying to be sincere, but the apology sounded funny and we both couldn’t help but laugh.

  "And I'm sorry I called you a bitch," I offered once we stopped laughing.

  "Don't worry," she assured me, “I’ll be fine. I’ll snap out of it. This party will help.”

  She was about to turn around, but then added, “I hope you know how lucky you are to have Evan. He would give up everything for you. You have no idea. So if you ever do anything to screw it up, I’ll never talk to you again, got it?”

  “Uh, yes,” I responded, afraid if I answered differently she’d kick my ass. She smiled, her vibrant smile, instantly mending us.

  We joined Jonathan for the fourth quarter. Sara took him up on his beer offer. The volume of the cheering rose to a whole new level with Sara as a spectator, so much so that my mother made a point of shutting her door. We looked at each other guiltily, but were dragged right back into the game moments later.

  My mother had to miss two days of work to get over her illness, and right around then Jonathan disappeared, having contracted the flu himself. He stayed at his place as he fought through it. My mother was a bit of a wreck the rest of the week, until that Friday when he finally emerged from the land of the dead―right around the time I was about to enter it.

  I spent the weekend at Sara’s to prepare for the party, and to give my mother and Jonathan time to make up for lost… I didn't really want to think about it. It was hard to be all romantic and sentimental when thinking about my mother and her boyfriend―and while hanging torn hearts and blood-dripping arrows.

  12. "F" Valentine's Day

  “This is a little Goth, don’t you think?” I questioned as Sara heavily lined my lids in black.

  “Exactly,” Sara smirked. “Here, just put this on and you’ll be all set.”

  “You want me to wear black lipstick? I didn’t realize this was a costume party.”

  Sara rolled her eyes. “Just put it on. I know you won’t be kissing Evan if your lips are black.” I scowled and grabbed the lipstick from her hand.

  I finished getting dressed while Sara was in the bathroom. She hadn’t shown me what she was wearing, and I just about fell off the bed when she emerged from the bathroom.

  “How are guys not going to want to grope you dressed like that?” I gawked at Sara’s skintight wet black leather pants and black corset top that accentuated… everything.

  “I didn’t say I had to play fair, did I?” Sara grinned, her lips glossed brightly in red. I shook my head, feeling like a henchman to her goddess in my girly black outfit. She handed me a red plastic gun. “Here.”

  “And what am I supposed to do with this?” I asked, tilting it in my hand.

  “Any contact between a guy and a girl, squirt them,” she instructed.

  “Sara, I can’t squirt people with water for touching!”

  “Emma, come on―you promised!”

  “I’m going to die,” I groaned, plodding down the stairs in my black knee high go-go boots. Sara stayed upstairs to lock everything down, so people couldn’t wander into bedrooms to defy the rules―and be inappropriate on her parents’ bed.

  “Is this night over yet?” I grunted upon entering the McKinleys’ entertainment room where Evan was programming the music.

  “Wow,” he gaped, eyeing me from head to toe, swallowing hard. “How am I supposed to not touch you dressed like a Goth school girl? Sara’s sick.”

  “What?” I balked. "You like this?"

  “I’d have to be dead not to think you looked hot,” he grinned, “and even then…”

  “Omigod,” I groaned. “Are you kidding me?”

  Evan slid his hands around my exposed waist and ran his lips along my neck. My head swirled as I released a defenseless breath. I wanted nothing more than to kiss him back, but I was a prisoner to Sara’s black lipstick. He ran his hand along my stomach and breathed in my ear, making my knees weak.

  I needed to escape before I melted. “I think I need to walk away or I’ll throw all Sara’s rules out the window.”

  Evan grinned. “Rules end at midnight,” he proclaimed as I entered the kitchen.

  “Who says?” I yelled back.

  “I do.”

  I smiled.

  Sara was sick! Unbeknownst to me, she'd put the message out to the girls to dress as vixens, all in black―but neglected to warn the guys. So not only was this a "look but don’t touch" party, but she was playing dirty.

  Let’s just say as soon as the guys saw what was waiting for them, there were a lot of refills at the keg. That was the other rule: if you drank, you had to spend the night and your car keys were collected.

  The guest list was extensive but exclusive. Cameras and cell phones were banned and collected along with keys. Picture taking was strictly forbidden. Underclassmen were not allowed, although some tried to crash. Evan and Kyle, Jill’s boyfriend from Syracuse, manned the door―filling the bouncer roles perfectly. They broke
a lot of freshmen hearts, shutting the door in their faces after the pathetic creatures got a glimpse of what they weren’t going to be a part of.

  Jill, Sara, Karen and I were armed with water guns. Casey had one for awhile, but Sara revoked her privileges when she found out she’d filled it with a mixed drink and was squirting it in her mouth.

  Jill’s was later handed off to Mandy when she ran her hand along Kyle’s back. Sara told her if she couldn’t obey the rules, then she had no right defending them and proceeded to give her a quick squirt to the gut. I couldn’t help but laugh when Jill truly looked heartbroken at her demotion.

  I patrolled as instructed, but everyone was well behaved. Then again, the party had only been going on for an hour. The first floor was open to the party goers, decorated morbidly in dead flowers, crushed chocolate strawberries and set aglow in red―it had taken quite some time to change out the light bulbs.

  The entertainment room was set up as the dance floor since it was the largest, most open, space. The television screen was retracted into the ceiling, and the couches that lined the back walls had the cushions removed to keep people from getting lost in the dark to make out. That room remained vacant for the most part, since no one was ready to dance―or they couldn’t figure out how to dance without touching each other.

  Besides, the music was pretty angry. It was a compilation of aggressive songs, featuring Five Finger Death Punch and Disturbed―not exactly grinding music.

  Things started to get a little more interesting during the second and third hours―right around the time the alcohol took effect. Sara had to refill her water gun twice, being the prominent enforcer of the rules. I thought it was going to piss people off, but she seemed to be aiming for the guys―and they didn’t have a problem being sprayed with water by a girl dressed like Sara.

  It was innocent enough. Talking a little too close, then a hand slipped to the hip. One of the girls sitting down on her boyfriend’s lap while he was playing cards at the kitchen table. The first kiss happened around ten-thirty, and Sara and Mandy went ballistic, drenching the guy who thought he was finally hitting it off with one of the girls from the basketball team. As horrified as he was, there were plenty of people laughing―I mean, it was pretty funny.

  “Sara, there’s someone at the door for you,” Evan hollered when the doorbell rang.

  “You can answer it,” Sara returned, taking a sip of her red martini.

  “No, this one’s for you.” He walked toward me, careful not to touch as he leaned against the wall beside me. “Things are about to get very interesting."

  Sara approached the door. I watched her lips form, “Oh no,” when she finally opened it. At the same time, Jared’s eyes just about fell out of his head. “Hi,” he choked. “That’s quite the anti-Valentine’s day attire.”

  “What are you doing here?” she responded, her cheeks a brilliant shade of red.

  “Fuck Valentine’s Day,” Jared exclaimed, handing Sara a dozen dried black roses. “These are for you.”

  “Aren’t you going to let him in?” Jill scolded, pulling Jared in by the arm and closing the open door that was making most of the scantily dressed girls shiver.

  “Thanks,” Sara responded blankly, taking the dead flowers―obviously in shock.

  I looked to Evan who wore a devious grin. “You don’t play fair either, do you?”

  “It's Valentine’s Day,” he defended. “I kinda want to kiss my girlfriend.”

  I smiled brightly, admiring his strategy. Sara spotted Evan and shook her head, shooting him a tight eyed glare. She knew that Jared’s presence was his doing. Evan laughed.

  Jared had a guitar case strapped to his back. “What’s that for?” Sara inquired, leading him to the help-yourself bar on the sun porch.

  “Later,” Jared replied, grabbing a beer from the galvanized tub.

  Without Sara realizing it, Evan switched the music to more popular dance songs, and the room started filling with bodies. She slacked on her patrol and handed her water pistol off to another enthusiastic enforcer who took to the dance floor with a vengeance.

  About an hour later, we were running low on ice, and I didn’t have the key to the basement where the freezer was stored. I searched amongst the flashing lights and teasing bodies in the entertainment room, but didn’t find Sara. After lapping the first floor, I decided to try upstairs.

  The door to Anna and Carl’s sitting room was slightly ajar. The crack allowed me to see Sara sitting on the loveseat, leaning forward and completely mesmerized. I was just about to push the door open when I picked up on the strums of the guitar. I barely touched the door to open it an inch farther and found Jared sitting on the ottoman across from her strumming the guitar. He was singing. I was too stunned to move.

  “Be my, be my valentine,” he sang as he strummed the upbeat chorus.

  “I think I’m in love,” Jill crooned drunkenly beside me, throwing her arms around my neck and laying her head on my shoulder.

  “Do they breed them to be like that?” Casey cooed on the other side.

  I hadn’t even noticed they'd followed me. I quickly closed the door and knocked hard to warn Sara of our presence―but I think she may have heard us.

  “Sara, you need to get out here,” Casey yelled obnoxiously, knocking harder. “Jill’s breaking the rules big time.”

  Sara opened the door wide enough to be seen, but kept Jared concealed in the background.

  “Shoot her,” Casey demanded in her intoxicated enthusiasm, pointing to Jill. “She’s breaking the rules. Shoot her right in the face.” When Sara only looked at her in confusion, Casey grabbed my gun and shot a stream right in the middle of Jill’s forehead. Jill let me go and screamed.

  “I’m going to kill you,” she bellowed, sending Casey down the stairs in a fit of laughter with Jill in pursuit.

  Sara and I looked at each other, shaking our heads. “Hey,” I finally said as casually as I could, “we’re out of ice. Do you have the key to the basement?”

  To my surprise Sara replied, “Yes. Let’s go.” She shut the door behind her and led me down the stairs. I clenched my teeth in a grimace, glancing at the door and hoping Jared didn’t think she was rejecting his Valentine’s ballad.

  We filled up the tubs with ice, and Sara noticed the music change. She pointed to Evan accusingly, ready to pounce. He held up his hands, feigning innocence with an adorable grin on his face.

  “You were in charge of the music,” she spat.

  “And look,” he pointed to the swaying bodies, “they’re dancing. Not a bad job if I do say so myself.”

  Sara rolled her eyes and disappeared upstairs. Evan yelled, “You’re welcome,” after her, and she flipped him the finger―which made us both laugh.

  “It’s almost midnight,” I shared, walking past him, wanting to touch him so bad it hurt.

  “Don’t worry,” he promised, “it’ll happen.” I grinned and kept walking into the crowd.

  The rule that Sara was most adamant about enforcing was that no one was allowed onto the deck that overlooked the enclosed pool and hot tub. They were deemed instant aphrodisiacs, with the waterfall built into the rocks at the far end of the pool and the rolling bubbles of the hot tub. She kept the lights off, so as not to tempt the hormone driven drunkards.

  I caught a glimpse of lights coming from the forbidden space and groaned in frustration―not wanting to be the person to kick them out. I waved Evan over and continued onto the deck as he cut through the dance floor to follow me.

  The pool was surrounded by what resembled a green house, panes of glass arching over a cut stone floor. In the summer, it retracted away from the house to become an outdoor pool. In the winter, it kept the pool in use, even though the glass was frosted over and there was snow piled up against the exterior.

  I stepped out into the balmy air to find the potted trees around the pool lit with small lights, creating a romantic setting. By the pool’s edge were Sara and Jared, kissing. I wanted to s
cream!

  “No way,” I fumed at the sight of them. I stormed down the stairs. She was the one who made up these asinine rules, and within an hour of Jared’s arrival she was going to break them?! Not on my watch!

  Before Sara even realized I was there, I exclaimed, “Rule breaker!” and shoved her. Jared tried to recover their balance, but it was too late; they plummeted into the blue water. Sara came up for air, gasping.

  “What the fuck?” she stared at me in shock, her hair slicked back and her red lips smeared.

  Evan started laughing, which made Jared start. A smile crept on my face, and I joined in. The commotion brought spectators out onto the deck.

  “You are so dead,” Sara threatened without sincerity. Before she could lift herself out of the pool, Evan swept me into the water alongside him. This set off a chain reaction, and bodies began plunging in after us.

  When I surfaced, I found Evan in front of me, smiling proudly. He pulled me toward the rocks, away from the splashing and jumping. I held onto the side of the pool, my weighted boots threatening to pull me under as Evan wiped my lipstick off with the sleeve of his shirt.

  “Told you I’d kiss you by midnight,” he grinned, pulling me toward him. His lips encased mine. I could taste the chlorine of the water and feel the warmth of his breath. I gripped his shirt and pulled him closer, feeling his hand glide along the skin of my back. He turned me so that my back was against the pool’s wall, placing his hands on either side of me, pushing himself against me. I wrapped my legs around his waist, and his hand ran along my thigh. My heart raced and I couldn’t breathe, the flitters capturing the air from my lungs.

  Before I knew what was happening, I was under the water again. The submergence separated us, and I resurfaced breathing heavily.

  “Now who’s breaking the rules?” Sara gloated while Jared treaded water with a grin behind her.

  “I hate your rules,” I declared, splashing her in the face. She hollered and splashed back. A water war ensued. Amongst the splashing and dunked bodies, I caught sight of Sara again, her arms around Jared’s neck as he kissed her cheek―and she was smiling.