ENDLESS: A Less Than Zero Rockstar Romance: Book 1: Ty & Zoey

by Kaylene Winter

  “I love you so much, Zoey.” Ty’s words bored into my soul, his deep voice broke. “I’ve been waiting for this day for so long.”

  Trying to focus on anything but my despair was proving difficult until I watched my man undressing. I was now so comfortably naked in front of him. His earnest smile when his clothes hit the floor comforted me. I slowly stroked my clit for him because watching me touch myself made him go mental. Tonight was about us. What made us happy.

  Snarling, he pulled down his boxer briefs and his erect cock bobbed straight up in the air, already wet at the tip. I wanted him more than I’d wanted anything in the world. I scooted closer to him, still flicking over myself. Ty pushed my legs open and, leaning over me, swiped his tongue through my fingers and my wetness. Covering my pussy with his mouth, he worked two fingers inside me.

  Licking then sucking, swirling then blowing, Ty explored every part of my sex so deliciously while fingerfucking me into oblivion. Knowing that this would be the first and last time we’d be together this way was so confusing. My mind was devastated. My body was aroused. My heart loved this man more than I could comprehend.

  I squeezed my eyes shut against the tears, my fingers digging into his scalp, crying out over and over in bliss as his tongue relentlessly circled my clit while his fingers curled against a pleasure spot deep inside me. All at once, I was overcome, arching up and coming so hard I nearly blacked out.

  Ty held and kissed me until I was cognizant again. Lying side-by-side, Ty gazed deeply into my eyes and gently pulled my leg over his hip. Fisting his cock, he rubbed and swirled the thick crown of his penis all through my folds and against my still-pulsing clit. He positioned himself at my entrance and slowly and shallowly rocked inside me a few centimeters at a time, caressing my body with his free hand, searching my eyes to make sure I was okay. How he maintained control, I don’t know, his breathing was short and static, as if it took every ounce of willpower not to just thrust in.

  “Zoey, thank you for the most amazing birthday. I love you so much.” Ty’s lips touched mine, his eyes dreamy. He repositioned us and moved so he hovered over me, but carefully kept his full weight suspended. Holding himself up on one elbow, Ty gripped his cock and more firmly thrust into me, still careful with his pace. My walls adjusted to his girth and length. Despite all of the almost-sex we’d had over the past weeks, nothing had prepared me for the overwhelming connection I felt to him now that he was actually inside my body. The sheen in his eyes made it clear that he felt it as deeply as I did.

  “Ty, I love you so much, I don’t deserve you,” I whispered while gripping his ass to pull him all the way into me, wincing at the pressure before relaxing into it. The feeling of being filled by the man I loved so unconditionally was indescribable. As if he was destined to be inside me, my walls stretched to accommodate him fully. The look of awe that passed between us when we were finally fully joined could never be replicated. Nothing else mattered. Together, we were miraculous, glorious, and perfect.

  “Oh, butterfly,” Ty rasped. “This feels like my first time too. You’re magical. We’re magical.”

  I crushed my mouth to his, lost in the beauty of our incredible connection. Ty wrapped his arm around me, cradling my head, stroking my face. We rocked together. I couldn’t help but whimper and clench around his cock while he moved in and out of me.

  Ty’s extraordinary expression of devotion bored into my soul, he never looked away. His eyes were locked with mine. Even as the intensity of pleasure became nearly too much, his focus was concentrated. Our pace amplified gradually. His hips rolled into me faster and faster when he couldn’t help but lose himself in his own bliss. How I reveled in my beautiful man’s exquisite look of nirvana and uncensored gasps and moans. He was struggling so hard to hold back until I got there again.

  Reaching between us, he rubbed my sensitive pearl in furious but gentle circles with the rough pad of his index finger and whispered, “Please. Come with me, baby.”

  I was already there, sparks ignited from my scalp to my pussy and I shattered again. He emitted a deep, guttural cry and slammed his hips into me and let go. Feeling him pulse his warm release inside me made me desperate to keep him close. We devoured each other’s mouths, both of us still flickering while he continued to thrust inside me uncontrollably.

  When we finally came down to earth, Ty smoothed my hair and peppered me with the lightest, sweetest kisses. Too soon he softened and slipped out of my body. It took every ounce of willpower I had to keep from bawling. Which meant I shook nearly uncontrollably from the emotion of it all.

  Misunderstanding my reaction, Ty seemed concerned as he held me close. “Oh, Z, are you okay? Was that okay?”

  “Perfect.” I buried my head in his neck, inhaling his awesome scent, his hair soft against my cheeks. “You’re perfect. That was perfect. We’re perfect.”

  Ty beamed with pride and ducked into the bathroom, bringing back a warm washcloth, which he used to gently and sweetly clean me up. Afterward, we clung to each other, kissing until my lips felt bruised. I had never felt so loved. I’d never feel this loved again. Devastation permeated my body at the thought that tonight would be the only time for us. After what I just experienced, I knew I wouldn’t ever want to have sex with anyone other than my rocker.

  Ty turned me so we could spoon. We continued to cuddle and kiss and Ty’s cock grew hard against my hip. “God, I want you again, babe. I’ll never, ever get enough of you.”

  “Yes please—Ty. Please,” I begged, not wanting the night to end.

  “It’s okay if you’re too sore. Are you sure?” Ty stroked my face with his knuckles, kissing the nape of my neck.

  “I’m a little sore, but I don’t care. That felt too good. I need you, I want you again.” I reached back to stroke his steel-hard cock, which apparently needed little recovery time.

  Smiling against my ear, he ran his hand along my calf and under my leg, pulling it up and over his hip. Using his hand to support under my thigh, Ty entered me shallowly from behind before grasping my waist with his other arm and tugging me back against him until he was fully inside me. He was so crazily deep, his thrusts slow and deliberate, making me feel so full. At this angle, his cock rubbed relentlessly against the spot deep inside me that triggered the most intense sensation.

  My eyes squinched shut when Ty placed my fingers against my sensitive clit, and we circled it lazily together. All of these erotic sensations meshed and reverberated throughout my entire being. We moved in perfect harmony. I screamed into the pillow, my climax a rolling explosion so pleasurable my muscles contracted taking Ty over with me yet again. My heart broke when he whispered how much he loved me and how we would be together forever right as he emptied inside me. Eventually, he once again slipped from my body, leaving a trail of our combined release down the backs of my thighs.

  “You’re my heart, butterfly,” Ty muttered sleepily. Not long after, his arm slackened, and his breathing slowed to a steady tempo against my neck.

  For the next hour I watched my amazing, perfect boyfriend sleep, knowing that I was letting him go to follow his destiny because Carter convinced me it was the right thing to do. I snuck out of bed, willing myself to be quiet despite the tears now streaming in rivulets down my face and the sobs I could barely keep contained.

  I could still feel Ty inside me. I’d always feel Ty inside me, I realized.

  Nothing would ever compare to the look of astonishment and wonder on his gorgeous face when he took my virginity. I knew I’d replay the memory forever in my mind, but for now, I had to shove it aside. Dressing quickly in the sweats I packed, I threw my evening clothes into my bag, grabbed my purse, and scribbled out a lame note:

  “Someone told me recently, if you love someone, let them go. I love you more than anything, my precious Ty, please always believe this. It breaks my heart, but I have to let you fly on your own.

  Forever, your butterfly”

  Placing it on the nightstand, I tiptoed acro
ss the floor and slipped out the door. In the foyer of the hotel, I waited for an Uber to take me home. I pulled up his number and hesitated but hit “block.” Next, I deleted my social media accounts and archived all our pictures one by one. Ugly crying all the way home, I hoped he wouldn’t hate me forever. I prayed that maybe Carter would explain that he was the one who asked me to do this for him and Ty would understand and forgive me.

  I loved him more than anything in the world. All I wanted was for Ty to live the life he was meant to live, sharing his gift with the world without anyone and anything holding him back.

  I’d survive, somehow. I just didn’t know how.

  Chapter 8

  TYSON

  Eight Years Later

  For the first time in a long time, as my thirtieth birthday approached, I was feeling positive about everything in my life. Considering LTZ had sold over 125 million records, headlined world tours four times, had over four billion views on YouTube, 140 Million Instagram and Twitter followers, six number-one singles, eleven top-ten singles, five Grammys, worldwide recognition, and all of us had enough money in the bank to never stress again, it shouldn’t have taken me this long to achieve a sense of satisfaction.

  It turned out that none of those achievements mattered when it came to my self-worth and inner peace. But success sure as hell took the sting out of where I had been eight years ago, living in a shithole apartment with my crazy mom and getting dumped by a note on a nightstand by the only girl I would ever love.

  When I woke up after making love to Zoey that magical night, initially I had such a feeling of joy that I couldn’t wait to worship her body again. And Again. And Again. When she wasn’t next to me, I assumed she was in the bathroom. With a morning woody, I patiently checked the messages on my phone. I remember admiring my bracelet while I waited for her to come back to bed before we both had to leave.

  After a few minutes I was worried and got up to find her. That’s when I realized her overnight bag was gone. Panicking, I quickly dressed because I knew she was leaving for school and thought that she had left to meet her parents without saying goodbye.

  My heart sank when I saw the note. After reading it, I screamed, “What the actual fuck!” wondering who in motherfucking hell told her to let me go? Crumpling it and throwing it across the room, I angrily grabbed my phone and dialed Zoey’s number. The beep beep beep blared in my ear, letting me now the call hadn’t gone through. I tried ten more times at least before it registered that Zoey had blocked my number. I checked her Instagram account, it had been deleted.

  My heart was pounding so hard, I thought I was having a heart attack. I fought back tears when I realized her leaving wasn’t spontaneous. It must have planned.

  My mind whirling, I wracked my brain to figure out what had happened. What I did wrong. I sat on the edge of the bed and mentally went over every promise we had made to each other over the past weeks. I couldn’t understand what was happening. Why would she go? Worse, why would she leave me like this? The pain was unbearable, the knot in my throat so big I couldn’t swallow. Frantically, I dressed and shoved my stuff in my bag and left the hotel so fast I didn’t even bother checking out.

  I had to see her. In the Uber on the way over to Zoey’s house, I didn’t know if I was furious or sad or scared, or all three. All I knew was that I had to talk to her. Since the last day in the studio when I’d found her crying, she had been a bit distant and distracted, claiming she was nervous to go away to school. I hadn’t pushed her about it because I was frazzled trying to get the last-minute details of the tour ironed out.

  Never once did it occur to me that something was wrong with us. Clearly, I’d missed the signs. As the Uber pulled up to her house, I leapt out and ran up the to the porch, banging on her front door and frantically screaming her name. About ten minutes later, one of the neighbors came out and said, “Stop yelling! She’s not here, they left about an hour ago.”

  “Fuck!” I screamed. After noticing the neighbor’s shocked look, I apologized. Checking the time, I was terrified. I was due at the rehearsal space in two hours. We were leaving for our first gig in four. I slumped down on her front porch with my head in my hands and tried to call her again. Beep. Beep. Beep. Taking deep breaths to calm myself, I called another Uber and numbly went back to my apartment to pack up what little I had in the world, and then leave it behind forever. My mom wouldn’t even notice I was gone.

  When I arrived at our rehearsal space to load up the van, I must have looked as devastated as I felt. I’m not proud to admit that I broke down and sobbed uncontrollably in front of all the guys and Carter. My band brothers all seemed truly shocked that Zoey had left me that way, but they rallied around me empathetically and told me that she’d be back. Carter mumbled something along the lines of, “If it was meant to me be . . .” I sadly nodded in hopeful agreement, but the sinking feeling wouldn’t let up.

  I didn’t want to believe it, but my reality was the love of my life dumped me on the day that was supposed to be the start of the next stage of my career. Sure, I’d had second thoughts about leaving Zoey because she was the love of my life. But I’d worked too hard not to give LTZ my all.

  “Give her a couple of weeks, man.” Zane threw an arm over my shoulder. “She loves you, I’m sure she’ll come around. When we do the show at her school, you can see her then.”

  “We’ll find her, Ty. Just soldier up until Bellingham.” Carter gave me a quick side hug, but something in his expression didn’t make me feel any better.

  For the first two weeks I clung to hope and was a crazy stalker sending Zoey a hundred messages on every chat and text app, begging her to call me, professing my love for her and angrily demanding to know why she left me that stupid note. I knew I was acting like a nutcase but couldn’t help it. Playing the first shows was excruciating, but the responsible side of me knew that my love life wasn’t the fan’s fault, so I tried my best. All that kept me going was rubbing the “T” and “Z” on my bracelet, scrolling through all our pictures on my phone, and counting down the days to the Bellingham show when I could find her and talk things out.

  When we finally pulled into the Bellingham venue’s parking lot, I was surprised to see Carter waiting for us. While the rest of the guys loaded in, he offered to drive me to Zoey’s dorm on campus, giving me the thumbs-up when he dropped me off. Gathering my courage, I wandered inside to the front desk and asked if I could leave Zoey Pearson a note. I kept it simple, including my number and the information for the gig and that she was on the guest list.

  The girl at the desk offered to put it in a mailbox and when she saw Zoey’s name, looked up at me quizzically. “Um, are you in that band?”

  “Yeah, I’m Ty. I’m in a band. Zoey is—was—my girlfriend. Do you know her?” I asked hopefully.

  “Um, well, yeah.” She studied me intently, probably taking pity on me since I looked desperate. “Look, I’m not supposed to give out any information about residents but Zoey was my roommate. She dropped out of school about four days after classes started. She was very depressed and wouldn’t get out of bed. I was really scared and told the RA, and her parents had to come and get her.”

  “Oh my God, Zoey! Where is she? She broke up with me and I’m trying to find her. If she’s hurting, I need to get to her, but she’s blocked my number.” I was frantic.

  “You should try her folks, if you know them. They packed up her room and took her home I think, so I don’t know where she is or if she’ll be back.” The girl regarded me sadly.

  Horrified at the news, I called for Carter. He picked me up and we went back to the club and let the band know what I had found out. Every bit of my spirit evaporated, every ounce of positivity I had held on to for the past two weeks was on the belief that we’d reconnect in Bellingham and fix things between us. I played the gig, but it sucked for all of us because my heart was officially shattered into a million bits. After the show, I quit LTZ because I didn’t want to drag them down with me. Carter
and Zane convinced me to tough it out, that they’d get me through it.

  There was never any good news. Jace texted Alex to see if he could find out anything, but she didn’t reply. He pinged her on social media and got the silent treatment there as well. Within a few hours, all of Zoey’s pictures were removed from Alex’s account. I activated my own private Facebook account to message her parents, but there was no reply. I didn’t have either of their mobile numbers. I couldn’t believe it. She’d just disappeared.

  Carter and Zane convinced me to try to give her some space. We’d be back in Seattle in five months and I still hoped by then she would have a change of heart and we would figure it out. Since I clearly had no other choice, I made myself feel better by sending her a loving message on WhatsApp every day, carefully avoiding anything that sounded angry or accusatory. With nothing to go on, I told myself something had spooked her. I wanted Zoey to feel safe.

  But then things went either horribly right or horribly wrong because we didn’t make it back to Seattle until over a year later.

  The day we left on tour we released our first single Rise. No one could have predicted that about a week after we played the awful Bellingham show, the song caught fire and exploded across the US, then Europe and then the rest of the world, hitting the number-one spot on multiple charts and holding steady for nearly a year.

  Overnight LTZ became instantly famous, and life became insane for all of us.

  Days bled into nights back into days as the months were filled with live shows, festivals, television appearances, interviews, fan events, appearances, and meetings all around the globe, moving the rock machine forward. Lather rinse and repeat. Time went by so fast, and our schedules were so packed, the messages I sent Zoey started to be less regular, first every other day and then maybe once a week. My only saving grace was that I was so busy and exhausted all the time, my intense heartbreak turned more into a dull, ever-present pain.