Blood of His Fathers (Sinners and Saints)

by Michelle Chambers

  “Since I’ve learned about this blasted piece of land I’ve had nothing but misery and heartache and near death experiences,” Jess said. “Jake and I are fine as we are,” she added firmly. “I don’t need this. I don’t want it.”

  Jason pushed himself upright, his body overwhelming the space between them.

  “I? And what about what Jake wants?”

  “He’s just a child.”

  “One day he’ll grow into a man. The Thomas property is his heritage too. Keep the document, and let Jake decide. You can’t control everything, Jessica.”

  “Is that what you think I’m doing?”

  “Yes,” Jason answered quietly. “And when you can’t, you run away.”

  “That isn’t fair. I didn’t runaway,” she faltered.

  Jason took a step closer, the familiarity of his scent teasing her brain. She briefly closed her eyes against the questions and the hurt in the depths of his, against the attraction still so very much evident between them.

  “We have to talk,” he said.

  She could hear her mother’s words reverberate inside her head. Her mother had said them more than enough times over the past months.

  “The man is no longer the boy.”

  Still, the choice was hers. She could turn and walk away or put the past behind her, once and for all. She opened her eyes.

  “Where?” she heard herself ask.

  “Have dinner with me tomorrow night. Eight o’clock. I’ll come for you.”

  Jess didn’t trust herself to speak, so she just nodded. She turned around and headed for the house, not looking back, although she knew Jason watched her. She wanted to run, but forced herself to keep her pace steady and even. Her fingers gripped the document.

  And when she reached her mother’s house she perched stiffly on the edge of a chair, clasping her hands until her fingers turned white. Seeing Jason again had brought back feelings she’d fought so long and hard to deny.

  “Jess? Are you all right?” her mother said, peeking from behind living room door.

  Jess pasted a smile on her face, fake and tight with nerves. “Yes. And Jake? How’s the party?”

  “He’s about to make a wish. He wants you there.”

  She followed her mother out into the garden, wiping away the tell-tale tears from her eyes. She saw her son’s radiant face and her smile became genuine. Jake always had a way of making her feel better.

  * * * *

  Her mother admonished her lightly. “Why didn’t you tell me you were seeing Jason tonight?”

  “I…I’m still deciding whether I should go.”

  “You can’t stand him up now,” her mother exclaimed. “He’s downstairs for heaven’s sake.”

  “I know.” She’d never felt more nervous in her life.

  She’d spent hours getting ready, trying and discarding various combinations of dresses and shoes, blouses and skirts, before settling for a simple sleeveless floral wrap dress with surplice neckline, and a pair of dark blue pumps.

  Jason’s laughter sailed up the stairs, and she tensed her shoulders.

  She caught her mother’s gaze in the mirror. “It’s been a long time, Mum. Perhaps too long.”

  “I know you’re scared, Jess. But he came back for you, didn’t he?”

  “I don’t know, did he?”

  Her mother smiled faintly and pushed a final bobby pin into place. She reached for a brush to sweep back the errant strands from Jess’ face.

  “There. Finished,” she said. She took an admiring step backward.

  Jess rose to her feet and cast a self-conscious glance in the mirror.

  “You look lovely,” her mother said.

  She cupped Jess’ face gently between her hands. “Do you love him?” she asked. “That’s the only thing that matters.”

  Jess smiled shakily. “Yes,” she answered.

  “Then, tell him,” her mother admonished gently.

  Jess kissed her mother on the cheek and headed toward the stairs. She descended the first step, and stopped. Jake was entertaining Jason and she could only wonder at the kinds of things her son was telling him. She stood at the top of the stairs listening to the sound of their voices, man and boy. She oughtn’t eavesdrop, but—

  “What wish?” Jason asked.

  Jake’s voice was strong and determined in its reply. “That you’d come back. Mum misses you. She doesn’t say it, but I know these things.”

  Jess collapsed against the wall and groaned softly. She could imagine Jake’s wide eyes, his upturned face and toothless grin.

  “Oh you do, do you?” Jason teased.

  She smiled at the mingled sounds of their laughter. Jason’s deep, rich answering timbre and Jake’s lighter musical tones.

  She continued down the stairs reluctant to interrupt their shared moment. But when she showed herself the laughter faded, although their faces still beamed. She smiled at the approval she saw in her son’s eyes and flushed at the admiration in Jason’s.

  “I’m sorry I took so long.”

  He stood and moved toward her, looking casually elegant in a crisp, white shirt and dark blue suit that miraculously complemented her dress. His eyes, sparkling from laughter, darkened as they locked onto hers.

  “You look beautiful,” he said.

  “So do you—I mean, handsome.”

  She took a step backward. “I think we’d better go.”

  She sidestepped him to kiss Jake goodnight and then collected her wrap.

  Jason followed her through the front door and into the mild, summer night. Jess turned to wave at her son’s small face pressed against the window. He waved at Jason.

  They walked a few steps in silence.

  “Jake has missed you,” she said at length.

  “I’ve missed Jake too.”

  They reached his car and Jason opened the passenger door.

  “I hope he didn’t say anything to embarrass you. You know how children are. They wish for things that are impossible. Things, for example, I know I don’t want.”

  Jason stilled, his hand holding the car door half open. He leveled his gaze on hers. “Your eyes give you away, Jessica. You could never lie,” he said.

  She lowered her gaze and shifted nervously. “Can we go?” she murmured softly.

  The sooner they got started, the sooner this night would end. She’d even the presence of mind to bring the divorce papers. She slipped into the warm interior of his car with thoughts of their first encounter milling through her head. It was all a lifetime ago.

  “Where are we going?” she asked as he slid behind the wheel.

  “My apartment in Kensington. We can talk much better if we’re alone, but if you’d rather not…”

  He held her gaze, his intimation hanging between them, waiting for her to decide.

  Jess swallowed her nervousness. Dinner had meant a restaurant. People. Safety. Her heart hammered loudly in her chest at the thought of the alternative.

  “Your apartment will be fine.”

  Jason put the car into gear and maneuvered from the curb. She focused her gaze out the passenger-side window and locked her eyes on nothing in particular, watching as the rundown, deprived streets gradually morphed into affluent, quiet avenues and letting her go completely blank.

  “We’re here.”

  Jason’s voice penetrated the vacuum that’d engulfed her brain. He climbed from the car before awareness fully flooded her senses. Her thoughts scrambled for some semblance of order and she tried to get her bearings. His steps crunched on the gravel as he walked to the passenger side. They were off the main road and parked in a private courtyard. Jess cast her gaze over the red-bricked Victorian mansion apartment block rising up before her. She sighed and, opening the passenger door met him half-way.

  With his hand placed lightly at the small of her back, Jason guided her toward the apartment block and through the semi-vaulted entrance hall. He greeted the porter with a curt nod before he led her up the sweeping stairs to
his apartment.

  Inside, she couldn’t contain her surprise when she saw he’d cooked. But that wasn’t all. Her eyes flew to his when she realized he’d prepared the meal they’d last shared on MCORMC-1, unlocking the floodgates to her memories and making her heart a vortex of emotion.

  “Let’s eat first and then talk,” he suggested quietly.

  He took her wrap and hung it by the door.

  It’d been sometime since they were alone together and Jess felt a little uncomfortable with this intimacy, but Jason was an attentive and easy host. Soon she began to feel at ease.

  She spoke about Jake, about her work, her mother—everything and anything in an attempt to avoid talking about them. And by the time they’d moved to the comfort of the sitting room she was relaxed enough to drink the wine she’d promised herself not to touch.

  She leaned her head back against the chair’s headrest and closed her eyes, listening to the lilting strains of Unchained Melody filling the room.

  “Would you like to dance?”

  She opened her eyes, her refusal poised on her lips, but Jason already stood in front of her, his hand outstretched, his mouth curved in a half smile.

  She placed her hand in his and stood up, letting him lead her to the center of the room and into his arms. He guided her hand to his shoulder as his slid down her ribcage to her waist. She relaxed her head against his shoulder and wrapped both arms about his neck. His arms settled about her waist, squeezing her closer. She was a lucky woman, to have such an attractive and attentive husband. But they’d been months apart. It would be naïve to think he’d spent all his nights alone. A sudden spark of jealousy flared in her chest. What if he’d found someone else and this—this was goodbye?

  She pulled back to look at him.

  Was he was letting her down gently? She’d sent him away. She got her wish, and now there was every chance she’d lost him.

  “I should go.” She tugged herself free from his arms.

  “Don’t.” Jason chased after her and pulled her back to face him. “Don’t go.”

  “Where were you?”

  She threw a hand to her mouth, her wide eyes staring into his.

  “God. I’m sorry,” she apologized. She felt as if she was prying and that right was probably no longer hers. “I didn’t mean to ask that. I have no right—”

  She practically ran from the room.

  “As my wife you have every right to ask me anything. There’s no one else,” he said coming up behind her.

  She lowered her hand from her wrap and spun to face him. Had she been so transparent?

  “And you? Is there anyone?” Her eyes searched his knowing he meant Drew.

  “No,” she breathed.

  He took her hands in his, his relief unmistakable. “Why?”

  “I can ask you the same thing?”

  “Because I’m still in love with my wife.”

  Tears spilled down her cheeks. “I’ve been such a fool.”

  “You were scared. I understood that. I knew I’d already lost you, but I knew I would never get you back if I didn’t give you what you needed. Time. If I hadn’t I wouldn’t have stood a chance with you and I wanted you to give me a second chance, Jessica.”

  “I should be asking that of you. I hurt you when I sent you away. I blamed you for something that wasn’t your fault and I doubted you, too. What kind of wife does that make me?”

  His hands cupped her face and he lowered his mouth to hers. “Mine.”

  She drew in a breath when his lips touched hers, tasting her tears. At first tentative and unsure, she soon succumbed to the familiarity of touch, of taste, and the emotion of Jason’s lips on hers. She moaned against his mouth as her body woke from the daze it had been in since he walked away.

  They parted gasping for breath, his forehead against hers, his lips a hair’s breadth from hers.

  She put a hand to his cheek, rubbing her thumb lightly along his jaw, reading the unspoken question in his eyes.

  “Yes,” she said.

  He raised a hand to cover her fingers and, closing his eyes briefly, drew in a deep breath.

  His palm moved to cup the nape of her neck as he captured her mouth in another searing kiss. She parted her lips, matching the urgency of his need.

  Her hands worked the buttons on his shirt. She trailed her mouth along his jaw, moving up to his ear. A gasp escaped him as she licked along the rim of the delicate shell. His lips fastened on her exposed neck. She struggled to focus on his shirt. She pulled it free from his waistband. Finally, it hung open, exposing his broad chest.

  He pulled the tie on her dress, unwinding the floral material from her body and pushing it from her shoulders onto the floor. She threaded her fingers through his hair, gasping as he gathered her close before reaching around to unhook her bra. She pressed her mouth to his throat, sucking on his pulse point.

  She pushed his shirt from his shoulders, reveling in the feel of his hard chest crushing her breasts. His fingers wound in her intricately fastened hair, tugging her head backward and exposing her throat to the tender onslaught of his mouth. He dipped his head lower, suckling her breasts. She bit down hard on her bottom lip and arched into his touch as he drew more and more of the sensitive flesh into his mouth.

  His hands trailed down her body, grazing the outside of her breasts. He stopped and looked into her eyes, letting his left thumb caress the scar under her breast. The corner of her eyes pricked with fresh tears and he claimed her mouth in a reassuring kiss.

  He pulled back. “My heart is yours,” he whispered against her lips.

  Her nails dragged down his back to his waistband. His hands continued their descent down her ribcage, dipping at her waist and around to cup her buttocks.

  Her hands reached between them and she found his zipper and pulled it down. He threw his head back and groaned as she thrust her hand in his pants and stroked his already prominent erection. He was hard and moist and throbbing between her fingers. Her lips closed over his taut nipples sucking and licking and biting.

  He knocked her hand away and scooped her up in his arms and Jess released a surprised giggle and clung on as he strode into his bedroom. He placed her gently on the bed and peeled down his pants and boxers. He knelt on the bed and made his way to her.

  He moved down her body and kissed her through her panties. She squirmed beneath him urging him to take off the last layer of clothing that separated them.

  He finally slid her panties off her, making his way back up her legs, pausing to kiss the inside of her thighs.

  Her voice shook with need. “Jason, please.”

  He moved so that the tip of his penis gently touched her entrance. She took hold of his shaft and guided him into her. Her thighs wrapped firmly about his waist as he entered her wet slick heat, pushing him deeper. She panted and keened against his neck.

  It’d been too long. Each stroke set off an explosion in her belly that rolled through her body until she cried out his name.

  Her inner walls milked him. She tangled her fingers into his hair. He groaned in his chest, sinking slow and deep inside her body, holding back. She’d barely recovered from her first orgasm and her climax build again. She looked into his eyes and whispered his name, moving her hips, wanting more. He thrust long and hard, faster until her body convulsed a second time. She arched against him, her muscles contracting around him. He throbbed deep inside her, moaning her name, losing control in a powerful release.

  He brushed his lips fleeting over hers and rolled from her body, scooping her close to his side. She curled into him, snuggling deeper in his embrace.

  * * * *

  She’d watched him sleep for a while and then left the bed. She stood at the elevated window, a sheet wrapped about her body and gazed out onto the quiet night. The room was dark except for the shafts of light coming through the window. The silence was serene.

  She smiled, hearing his weight shift on the bed and then the sound of his feet padding softly towa
rd her across the wooden floor. His arms slid around her waist. She leaned back into him with a sigh of content. He nuzzled the sensitive skin behind her ear.

  “No more doubt?” he whispered.

  “No more doubt,” she whispered back.

  He tightened his arms about her, trailing his mouth to her shoulder.

  “Then, what is it?”

  “It’s just—Where were you?”

  He lifted his mouth from where he caressed her neck, and loosened his grip about her. She turned in his arms to see his face, bracing her hands on his bare chest.

  “You left without a word. Not even to Jake. Where did you go?”

  “Europe. America. Asia,” he answered, stroking a finger gently down her cheek.

  “Is that all I’m going to get?”

  He smiled wistfully and breathed deeply in. “My father’s inquest posed too many questions and cast even more doubt on me. Our marriage was based on all the wrong reasons. I know our feelings for each other had changed, but you deserved a chance to reconsider everything about us without me around to complicate your decision.”

  “You mean Drew?”

  He leaned down, brushing his lips lightly over hers. “That was my thought before tonight,” he admitted. “But given the circumstances you had every right to distrust me. I involved you in a conspiracy of secrets and lies that almost got you killed.”

  “Sean involved me. If it hadn’t been for you, I wouldn’t have known my father. I wouldn’t have learned of the conspiracy of silence within my own family and because of all that’s happened, in a strange way I got to understand who I am. I got to know me. I’m sorry I ever doubted you, Jason.”

  She touched a hand to his cheek. “I can’t pretend I mourned your father’s death, but he was your father and I know it must’ve hurt.”

  She leaned into his gentle embrace. “I planned to divorce you, you know.”

  “Yes, I know.”

  “I thought you were your father’s son, but you’re not. I thought I could stop loving you, but I can’t. I thought I didn’t need you, but I do.”

  “Does that mean you’ll marry me, Mrs. McCormack?”

  She frowned.

  “Will you marry me again?” he amended. “For all the right reasons?”