Mercy m-1
Page 17
Something is different this time. Something happened to me, down there, in the monster’s pit. As we unravelled, I almost felt the point where she ended and I began.
Maybe, if I am displaced another time, and a time after that, I will be able to find that space, that fork in the road, again and again, until I find my true self, standing at the end of it.
And there’s something else. I am leaving, and this time I know it.
I have never had warning before, never had certainty.
But this time, I am so sure that I rear up suddenly, like Lazarus, like Frankenstein’s monster, a drowning person grasping at a spar on the ocean.
Ryan pulls back, startled. Still blind, I grab at his shirtfront with what remains of us.
‘Tomorrow,’ I whisper, my voice like something carried back on the wind from the afterlife, ‘Carmen may not remember what’s happened. She may not remember you, or your parents. She may have no recollection of Jennifer, or even of Lauren, or of her time here before today. You must protect her. See her home safe. Maintain the fiction. Keep me secret. Her future turns on it, and her future is bright.’
‘Why are you telling me this?’ Ryan says confusedly as he braces me against him.
‘Going,’ I murmur. ‘Into someone else, to be someone else. Not here. Not with you.’ I feel that sense of loosening quicken, like sparks flying upward on a cold morning.
‘How do I find you again?’ Ryan says desperately, shaking Carmen, shaking me even further free of my moorings.
I sigh. ‘You can’t. Could be anywhere, anyone. No time.’ I touch his face with Carmen’s cold fingers. Kiss him once, gently.
‘No! Mercy,’ Ryan cries, crushing her closer, not knowing I am already gone. ‘Mercy!’ And I watch from above as Carmen’s breathing evens out in sleep, and find myself falling out of her life, into another …
Rebecca Lim is a writer and illustrator based in Melbourne, Australia. She worked as a commercial lawyer for several years before leaving to write full time.
Rebecca is the author of ten other books for children and young adult readers, and her novels have been translated into German, French and Turkish.
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