Fade Away

by Harlan Coben

  When Myron finished, Win didn't bother with any questions. "I have a meeting at the office," he said as he stood. "Do you mind?"

  Myron shook his head and sat down. Win left. Myron kept his eye on the door. Ten minutes later students began to file out the door. Two minutes after that, Professor Sidney Bowman followed suit. He had the same unkempt, academic beard as in the photo. He was bald but kept his fringe hair ridiculously long. He wore jeans, Timberland boots, and a red flannel shirt. He was either trying to look like a working stiff or Jerry Brown on the campaign trail.

  Bowman pushed up his spectacles and kept walking. Myron waited until he was out of sight before following. No rush. The good professor was indeed heading for his office. He crossed the grassy commons and disappeared into yet another brick building. Myron found a bench and sat down.

  An hour passed. Myron watched the students and felt very old. He should have brought a newspaper. Sitting for an hour without reading material meant he had to think. His mind kept conjuring up new possibilities and then dismissing them. He knew he was missing something, could see it bobbing in the distance, but every time he reached out it ducked back down below the surface.

  He suddenly remembered that he had not checked Greg's answering machine today. He took out his cellular phone and dialed the number. When Greg's voice came on, he pressed 317, the code numbers Greg had programmed into the machine. There was only one message on the tape, but it was a doozy.

  "Don't fuck with us," the electronically altered voice said. "I've spoken to Bolitar. He's willing to pay. Is that what you want?"

  End of message.

  Myron sat very still. He stared at a brick, ivyless wall. He listened to a tone for a few seconds and did nothing. What the hell...?

  "...He's willing to pay. Is that what you want?"

  Myron pressed the star button to have the message replayed. Then he did it again. He probably would have listened for a fourth time, had Professor Bowman not suddenly appeared at the door.

  Bowman stopped to chat with a couple of students. The conversation grew animated, all three displaying fervent, academic earnest. College. Continuing their undoubtedly weighty discourse, they walked off campus and down Amsterdam Avenue. Myron pocketed the phone and kept his distance. At 112th Street, the group separated. The two students continued south. Bowman crossed the street and headed toward the Cathedral of St. John the Divine.

  St. John the Divine's was a massive structure and interestingly enough, the largest cathedral in the world in terms of cubic square feet (St. Peter's in Rome is considered a basilica by this statistic, not a cathedral). The edifice was like the city that housed it: awe-inspiring yet worn. Towering columns and gorgeous stained-glass windows were surrounded by signs like HARD HAT AREA (though it dated back to 1892, St. John the Divine's has never been completed) and THE CATHEDRAL IS PATROLLED AND ELECTRONICALLY MONITORED FOR YOUR PROTECTION. Wooden planks plugged holes in the granite facade. On the left side of this architectural wonder were two prefab aluminum storage barracks that brought back memories of the opening credits of Gomer Pyle. On the right was the Children's Sculpture Garden featuring the Peace Fountain, an enormous sculpture that inspired several moods, none of them peaceful. Images of severed heads and limbs, lobster claws, hands reaching out from the dirt as though trying to escape hell, a man twisting the neck of a deer all whirled together to create an atmosphere that was more Dante meets Goya than languid tranquillity.

  Bowman headed down the driveway on the cathedral's right. Myron knew that there was a homeless shelter down that way. He crossed the street and tried to keep his distance. Bowman passed a group of apparently homeless men--all dressed in threadbare synthetics and pants with plunging butt-lines. Some waved and called out to Bowman. Bowman waved back. Then he disappeared through a door. Myron debated what to do. There was no choice really. Even if it meant blowing his cover, he had to go in.

  He passed the men, nodded, smiled. They nodded and smiled back. The shelter entrance was a double black door with chintzy lace curtains. Not far from it were two signs--one reading SLOW CHILDREN AT PLAY and the other CATHEDRAL SCHOOL. A homeless shelter and a children's school side by side--an interesting yet working combo. Only in New York.

  Myron entered. The room was packed with frayed mattresses and men. A smell like a used bong after an all-nighter singed his nostril hairs. Myron tried not to make a face. He spotted Bowman talking to several men in one corner. None of them was Cole Whiteman aka Norman Lowenstein. Myron glanced about the unshaven faces and hollow eyes, his gaze swinging left to right.

  They spotted each other at exactly the same time.

  From across the room, their eyes locked for perhaps a second, but that was long enough. Cole Whiteman turned and ran. Myron followed, threading his way through the throngs. Professor Bowman spotted the disturbance. Eyes afire, he jumped in Myron's path. Myron lowered his shoulder and flattened him without breaking stride. Just like Jim Brown. Except Jim Brown had to do it against guys like Dick Butkus and Ray Nitschke opposed to a fifty-year-old college professor who probably didn't weigh 180 even with the soft gut. Still.

  Cole Whiteman disappeared out a back door, slamming it behind him. Myron went through it not long after. They were outside now, but only briefly. Whiteman disappeared up a metal stairway and back into the main chapel. Myron followed. The inside was very much like the outside--spectacular examples of art and architecture mixed in with the tattered and tacky. The pews, for example, were cheap folding chairs. Lush tapestries hung upon granite walls with seemingly no organization. Ladders were melded into thick columns.

  Myron spotted Cole heading back out a nearby door. He sprinted after him, his heels echoing up through the giant arched ceiling. They were back outside. Cole headed down below the cathedral and through heavy fire doors. A sign read A.C.T. PROGRAM. It looked like a basement school or daycare center. Both men raced down a hallway lined with beat-up, metallic lockers. Cole turned right and disappeared behind a wooden door.

  When Myron pushed the door open, a darkened stairway greeted him. He heard footsteps below him. He trotted down, the light from above dwindling with each step. He was descending deep into the cathedral's subdwelling now. The walls were cement and clammy to the touch. He wondered if he was entering a crypt or tomb or something equally creepy, if indeed there was equally creepy. Did American cathedrals have crypts, or was that only in Europe?

  By the time he reached the bottom step, Myron was bathed in darkness, the light from above little more than a distant glint. Great. He stepped into a black hole of a room. He cocked his head, listening for a sound like a dog on a hunt. Nothing. He felt for a light switch. Again nothing. The room had a bone-chilling, windless cold. A damp smell permeated his surroundings. He didn't like it down here. He didn't like it at all.

  He inched forward blindly, his arms outstretched like Frankenstein's monster. "Cole," he called out. "I just want to talk to you."

  His words echoed hard before fading out like a song on the radio.

  He kept going. The room was still as...well, as a tomb. He had moved about five feet when his outstretched fingers hit something. Myron kept his hand on the smooth, cold surface. Like marble, he thought. He traced down. It was a statue of some sort. He felt the arm, the shoulder, to the back, down a marble wing. He wondered if it was some kind of tombstone decoration and quickly withdrew his hand.

  He stayed perfectly still and tried to listen again. The only sound was a rushing in his ears, like seashells were pressed against them. He debated going back upstairs, but there was no way he could do that. Cole knew now that his identity was in danger. He would go into hiding again and not resurface. This was Myron's only chance.

  He took another step, leading now with his foot. His toe hit something hard and unyielding. Marble again, he figured. He circled around it. Then a sound--a scurrying sound--made him freeze in his tracks. It had come from the ground. Not a mouse. Too big for a mouse. He cocked his head again and waited. His pulse race
d. His eyes were just beginning to adjust to the darkness, and he could make out a few shadowy, tall figures. Statues. Lowered heads. He imagined the serene expressions of religious art on their faces, looking down at him with the knowledge they were embarking on a journey to a better place than the one in which they dwelled.

  He took another step, and cold fingers of flesh grabbed his ankle.

  Myron screamed.

  The hand pulled and Myron fell hard against the cement. He kicked his leg loose and scrambled backward. His back slammed into more marble. A man giggled madly. Myron felt the hairs on the nape of his neck stand up. Another man giggled. Then another. Like a group of hyenas were encircling him.

  Myron tried to get to his feet, but midway up, the men suddenly pounced. He didn't know how many. Hands dragged him back to the floor. He threw a blind fist and connected square into a face. Myron heard a crunching sound and a man fell. But others reached their target. He found himself sprawled on the wet cement, fighting blindly and frantically. He heard grunts. The stench of body odor and alcohol was suffocating, inescapable. The hands were everywhere now. One ripped off his watch. One grabbed his wallet. Myron threw another punch. It hit ribs. Another grunt and another man fell.

  Somebody turned on a flashlight and shone it into his eyes. It looked like a train heading toward him.

  "Okay," a voice said, "back off him."

  The hands slid off like wet snakes. Myron tried to sit up.

  "Before you get any cute ideas," the voice behind the flashlight said, "take a look at this."

  The voice put a gun in front of the flashlight.

  Another voice said, "Sixty bucks? That's fuckin' all? Shit."

  Myron felt the wallet hit him in the chest.

  "Put your hands behind your back."

  He did as the voice asked. Someone grabbed the forearms, pulling them closer together, tearing at the shoulder tendons. A pair of handcuffs were snapped on his wrists.

  "Leave us," the voice said. Myron heard the rustling movements. The air cleared. Myron heard a door open, but the flashlight in his eyes prevented him from seeing anything. Silence followed. After some time passed, the voice said, "Sorry to do this to you, Myron. They'll let you go in a few hours."

  "How long you going to keep running, Cole?"

  Cole Whiteman chuckled. "Been running a long time," he said. "I'm used to it."

  "I'm not here to stop you."

  "Imagine my relief," he said. "So how did you figure out who I was?"

  "It's not important," Myron said.

  "It is to me."

  "I don't have any interest in bringing you down," Myron said. "I just want some information."

  There was a pause. Myron blinked into the light. "How did you get involved in all this?" Cole asked.

  "Greg Downing vanished. I was hired to find him."

  "You?"

  "Yes."

  Cole Whiteman laughed deep and hearty. The sound bounced around like balls of Silly Putty, the volume reaching a frightening crescendo before mercifully fading away.

  "What's so funny?" Myron asked.

  "Inside joke." Cole stood, the flashlight rising with him. "Look, I have to go. I'm sorry."

  More silence. Cole flicked off the flashlight, plunging Myron back into total blackness. He heard footsteps receding.

  "Don't you want to know who killed Liz Gorman?" Myron called out.

  The footsteps continued unimpeded. Myron heard a switch and a dim lightbulb came on. Maybe forty watts. It didn't come close to fully illuminating the place, but it was a hell of an improvement. Myron blinked away black spots left over from the flashlight assault and examined his surroundings. The room was jammed with marble statues, lined and piled up without reason or logic, some tilted over. It wasn't a tomb, after all. It was some bizarre, church-art storage room.

  Cole Whiteman came back over to him. He sat cross-legged directly in front of Myron. The white stubble was still there--thick in some spots, completely missing in others. His hair jutted up and out in every direction. He lowered the gun to his side.

  "I want to know how Liz died," he said softly.

  "She was bludgeoned with a baseball bat," Myron said.

  Cole's eyes closed. "Who did it?"

  "That's what I'm trying to find out. Right now, Greg Downing is the main suspect."

  Cole Whiteman shook his head. "He wasn't there long enough."

  Myron felt a knot in his stomach. He tried to lick his lips but his mouth was too dry. "You were there?"

  "Across the street behind a garbage can. Like Oscar the fucking Grouch." His lips smiled, but there was nothing behind it. "You want no one to notice you? Pretend you're homeless." He stood up in one fluid motion, like some kind of yoga master. "A baseball bat," he said. He pinched the bridge of his nose, turned away, and lowered his chin to his chest. Myron could hear small sobs.

  "Help me find her killer, Cole."

  "Why the fuck should I trust you?"

  "Me or the police," Myron said. "It's up to you."

  That slowed him. "The cops won't do shit. They think she's a murderer."

  "Then help me," Myron said.

  He sat back down on the floor and inched a bit closer to Myron. "We're not murderers, you know. The government labeled us that and now everyone believes it. But it's not true. You understand?"

  Myron nodded. "I understand."

  Cole gave him a hard look. "You patronizing me?"

  "No."

  "Don't patronize me," Cole said. "You want me to stay and talk, don't you dare patronize me. You stay honest--I'll stay honest."

  "Fine," Myron said. "But then don't hand me the 'we're not killers, we're freedom fighters' line. I'm not in the mood for a verse of 'Blowin' in the Wind.'"

  "You think that's what I'm talking about?"

  "You're not being prosecuted by a corrupt government," Myron said. "You kidnapped and killed a man, Cole. You can dress it up in all the fancy language you want, but that's what you did."

  Cole almost smiled. "You really believe that."

  "Wait, don't tell me; let me guess," Myron said. He feigned looking up in thought. "The government brainwashed me, right? This whole thing has been a CIA plot to crush a dozen college students who threatened to undermine our government."

  "No," he said. "But we didn't kill Hunt."

  "Who did?"

  Cole hesitated. He looked up and blinked back what looked like tears. "Hunt shot himself."

  His reddening eyes looked to Myron for a reaction. Myron remained still.

  "The kidnapping was a hoax," Cole went on. "The whole thing was Hunt's idea. He wanted to hurt his old man so he figured what better way than to take his money and then embarrass the shit out of him? But then those assholes surprised us and Hunt chose another revenge." Cole's breathing grew deep and erratic. "He ran outside with the gun. He screamed, 'Fuck you, Dad.' Then he blew his own head off."

  Myron said nothing.

  "Look at our history," Cole Whiteman said, his voice a semi-plea. "We were a harmless group of stragglers. We protested at antiwar rallies. We got stoned a lot. We never committed one act of violence. None of us even had a gun, except for Hunt. He was my roommate and best friend. I could never hurt him."

  Myron didn't know what to believe; more to the point, he didn't have time now to worry about a twenty-year-old homicide. He waited for Cole to continue, to let him talk out the past, but Cole remained still. Finally, Myron tried to update the subject. "You saw Greg Downing go into Liz Gorman's building?"

  Cole nodded slowly.

  "She was blackmailing him?"

  "Not just her," he corrected. "It was my idea."

  "What did you have on Greg?"

  Cole shook his head. "Not important."

  "She was probably killed over it."

  "Probably," Cole agreed. "But you don't need to know the specifics. Trust me."

  Myron was in no position to push it. "Tell me about the night of the murder."

  Cole scrat
ched at his stubble hard, like a cat on a post. "Like I said," he began, "I was across the street. When you live underground, you have certain rules you live by--rules that have kept us alive and free for the last twenty years. One of them is that after we commit a crime, we never stay together. The feds look for us in groups, not individuals. Since we've been in the city, Liz and I have made sure we were never together. We only communicated by pay phone."

  "What about Gloria Katz and Susan Milano?" Myron asked. "Where are they?"

  Cole smiled without mirth or humor. Myron saw the missing teeth and wondered if they were part of the disguise or something more sinister. "I'll tell you about them another time," he said.

  Myron nodded. "Go on," he said.

  The lines in Cole's face seemed to deepen and darken in the bare light. He took his time before continuing. "Liz was all packed and ready to go," he said finally. "We were going to score the cash and get out of the city, just like I planned. I was just waiting across the street for her signal."

  "What signal?"

  "After all the money was collected, she'd flicker the lights three times. That meant she'd be down in ten minutes. We were going to meet at One Hundred Sixteenth Street and take the One train out of here. But the signal never came. In fact, her light never went off at all. I was afraid to go check on her for obvious reasons. We got rules about that too."

  "Who was Liz supposed to collect from that night?"

  "Three people," Cole said, holding up the pointer, middle man, and ring man. "Greg Downing"--he dropped ring man--"his wife what's-her-name--"

  "Emily."

  "Right, Emily." The middle finger went down. "And the old guy who owns the Dragons." His hand made a fist now.

  Myron's heart contracted. "Wait a second," he said. "Clip Arnstein was supposed to show up?"

  "Not supposed to," Cole corrected. "He did."

  A black coldness seeped into Myron's bones. "Clip was there?"

  "Yes."

  "And the other two?"

  "All three showed up. But that wasn't the plan. Liz was supposed to meet Downing at a bar downtown. They were going to make the transaction there."

  "A place called the Swiss Chalet?"

  "Right."

  "But Greg showed up at the apartment too?"

  "Later on, yeah. But Clip Arnstein arrived first."