When Simmy saw Kyan being led into the visit room her heart sped up until it was galloping in her chest. Aside from being in terrible need of a haircut and a shave, Kyan was still fine as hell.
“Hey, baby.” Simmy stood up and hugged him.
Kyan kept his arms down at his side, not bothering to return her embrace.
“What’s wrong?” Simmy asked, her eyebrows furrowed.
“I guess if you don’t know, then I don’t know either,” Kyan replied dryly.
Taken aback, Simmy leaned back in the chair across from him and stared at him strangely. “I put money on your books. I contacted a lawyer, and he said he would take your case. I went and gave your mother some money and checked in on your brothers. What’s the problem?” Simmy said, her tone firm. She didn’t expect to get attitude from him when she’d been out there working so hard to help him.
Kyan sighed. “It’s nothing, man. For real. I appreciate what you been doing,” he said.
Simmy still felt like there was something he wasn’t saying, but she hadn’t come all the way to Rikers Island to argue. “Oh, okay. Well, like I told you on the phone before, Doc never came through. I guess he bounced with your paper.” Simmy didn’t want to stress Kyan out but, at the same time, she wanted to subtly point out that she was the one hustling to help him out.
“So how were you able to put money on books and do everything else?”
“Oh, I used some of Jayla’s money.” Simmy thought on her feet. “I have to make sure to put it all back, though, because she’s still going through her case, so I’m sure I’m gonna have to pay some stuff for her too.”
“I got it,” Kyan said, bopping his head. “So how are you otherwise?” he asked, looking her up and down. “You look like you’re doing great. New bag. New bling.”
Simmy’s face got hot. She knew better than to tell Kyan what she’d been doing to make money. “I’m managing. All this stuff, it belongs to Jayla. I’m just using it to impress you on visits,” Simmy lied again. She’d been getting better and better with lying and thinking on her feet, another new thing she’d picked up from Alex and his crew. Simmy had become much more comfortable with making stuff up as she went along.
Kyan rubbed his chin. “A’ight, if you say so. I’m real happy to see you, Simone. For real. And again, thank you for checking in on my family.” He stood up and motioned for the guards to come and take him back to his cell.
“Wait, why are you leaving?” She was surprised that he had ended his visitation with her so soon. In the past, he would sit and talk with Simmy down to the very last second he had before the guards made the announcement that visitation time was over.
“I’m sorry, Simmy. I’m just not feeling too well today,” he said just as the guard came to get him.
“Okay, Kyan. I understand. Get some rest and feel better.”
Simmy smiled at him but, inside, she felt the phoniness of their interaction. She looked on as her man disappeared behind the bars. Something was happening to them, and Simmy knew there was probably nothing she could do about it.
* * *
Over the next two weeks, in between making money, Simmy had convinced Veronica to take her back to see Jeff. With all the computers and access to names he had, she was sure he’d be able to get Simmy information on her mother. Just yesterday, Jeff had given her the news that he found out where she was. Turned out, Simmy’s mom was in a prison in New Jersey, not far from where Jayla was staying.
This morning, Simmy had her stomach in knots just thinking about what she was going to say when she finally saw her mother after all these years. The ride to New Jersey felt like forever, but they finally reached the prison that held the most important person in Simmy’s life.
She took a deep breath as she stood in line waiting to walk through the metal detectors. Her mind was in overdrive just thinking about all the things she wanted to say to her mom. She was excited to finally get to see her mom. She was looking forward to hearing her voice, hugging her, and just being able to see her.
“Please state the inmate you are here to see,” a tall, heavyset guard said to Simmy without bothering to look up at her.
“Carla. Carla Jones.”
“Please sign the visitor log and show me your identification.”
Simmy signed the log and gave the guard what he had requested.
“Okay, have a seat in the visiting room. You will hear an announcement and then a buzzer. That is when the inmates will be brought out.”
“Okay, thank you,” Simmy replied.
Simmy found an empty table and took a seat, anxiously waiting to see her mom. When she heard the announcement and the buzzer, her palms became sweaty, and her mouth went completely dry. She kept looking out for her mother as ladies kept making their way out. When the last woman came out, Simmy’s heart skipped a beat. There she was, walking toward her. Her hair was still long and shiny. Simmy took notice of her mother’s aging face. She saw the wrinkles that had started to form near her eyes.
“Hi, Mom,” she said as she stood up to hug her.
“Hi, baby,” Carla said with tears filling her big brown eyes. “You look beautiful,” she said as she leaned in and embraced her daughter for the first time in years. The two ladies held on to each other until one of the guards instructed them to separate.
“I can’t believe my baby girl is all grown up,” Carla said as she admired her daughter sitting across from her. “I’m proud of you,” she said.
Simmy felt guilty hearing those words come out of her mother’s mouth. Her mother might not be so proud once Simmy told her about what she’d been up to the last six or so months. She took a deep breath before filling her mother in on everything. Simmy was getting used to lying, but lying to her mother was not something she could ever do.
“I’m sorry to disappoint you, Mom, but I can’t give you many reasons for you to be proud of me right now,” Simmy said, unable to look her mother in the eyes. For the entire hour that they had together, Simmy filled her in on everything that had happened to her ever since Jayla came into her life. She didn’t leave a single thing out. She even admitted to losing her virginity to Kyan. The entire time, her mother just sat there and listened. She never once interrupted, scolded, or judged her. When Simmy finally finished she felt like she’d gotten so much of her shoulders. It felt liberating.
“Wow,” Carla said. “I’m sorry that you’re going through all of this, Simmy. I would have never wanted you to suffer or have to resort to boosting and using fake credit cards to survive out there. I don’t agree with Mummy Pat taking Jalissa’s side, but that’s her house, and you have to respect her rules. This Kyan boy doesn’t sound too bad. From the way you described him, he kind of reminds me of how your father was at that age.”
Carla chuckled. “From what you told me, it sounds like he really cares about you; but, Simmy, love and feelings don’t mean nothing if you end up getting locked up in here. If that boy is to ever get out, he needs to get out of this dealing business and go legit. And that goes for you too, Simmy. I understand right now you’re doing what you have to do to help out our cousin and your man, but you need to get out of that as fast as you can before you get sucked in so deep you won’t know how to get out of it, or even want to get out of it.”
Simmy hung on to every word her mother said. She was absorbing everything like a sponge does to water.
“Now, listen up, baby. I want you to finish up with this illegal cards business you’re in as fast as you can. At this rate, you not gonna graduate in June but that doesn’t mean it’s not too late for you to sign up for night classes so you can work on your GED. I know you’re a smart girl and I want to see you do big things. You understand?”
“Yes, Mommy.” Simmy smiled up at her mom as if she were a little girl again. “I missed you so much,” she said as tears welled up in her eyes. She wished she could hug her mother again, but she knew the guards wouldn’t allow it.
“I’ve missed you too, baby girl. I
love you.” Just as Carla said this, the announcement was made that visiting hours were over. Carla stood up and blew a kiss to her daughter.
Originally, Simmy had planned on going to see her mom and then heading over to visit Jayla, but seeing her mom and having that intense conversation left her emotionally drained. She did not have the energy to visit Jayla this week. Instead, she called an Uber to take her to a Starbucks, where she sat for almost two hours going over everything her mom said. As she sipped her Green Tea Frappuccino, Simmy contemplated what her next move should be. She wanted to do what her mom said and stop doing all the illegal stuff; but, at the same time, she knew this was the only way she’d ever make enough money to be able to support Kyan and Jayla.
It had made her feel good being able to provide for her boyfriend and cousin. But wanting to heed her mother’s warning, Simmy was left feeling confused about what the right thing to do was. It had actually left her depressed and questioning what she was doing.
“What’s wrong with you, young’un?” Alex had asked Simmy as she sat across from him at a diner in Brooklyn.
“Just feeling down. My grandmother’s birthday is tomorrow, and I’m just thinking about her,” Simmy admitted, pushing her food around on the plate with her fork.
“Oh, shit. I ain’t know you even had family like that. You’ve never mentioned anyone before. C’mon, young’un. Ain’t nothing to be down about.”
“I haven’t seen her in months,” Simmy admitted to him. “She put me out of the house because I beat my cousin Jalissa’s ass for taking some of my stuff.”
“Damn, and she didn’t do nothing to your cousin?” Alex asked.
“Nope.”
“That’s pretty fucked up then. Family doesn’t do each other like that,” Alex affirmed. “But look, Simmy, me and the family your people now,” Alex said.
Simmy smiled a little bit. “True. Y’all have been good to me.”
“Here, look. Take this and buy something nice. We gon’ take you out so you could get your mind off of things. Shit,we gonna do this big time,” Alex said, digging into his pocket and handing her a thick wad of cash.
Simmy’s eyes lit up. She had learned quick never to refuse free money. “Thanks, Alex.”
“That ain’t about shit, young’un. Anything for you. You know how I do. I get that back in a few hours, as soon as I hear from my girls,” he said, grinning slyly. “Yup, my girls got me.”
* * *
The next night, Simmy was surprised to find Veronica sitting outside of her building instead of Alex. Simmy rushed to the car trying to get out of the rain. It had been raining cats and dogs all day.
“Hey,” she huffed as she flopped into Veronica’s passenger seat. “Where’s Alex?” Simmy didn’t waste any time asking since he’d said he would be the one picking her up.
Veronica sucked her teeth, seemingly offended. “What? You his keeper now?” Veronica snapped. Simmy knew that meant Veronica was in one of her bipolar, “insecure about Alex” moods.
Veronica pulled up to Tao restaurant uptown on Fifty-eighth Street. Simmy looked around, confused. “Oh, I thought we were going to the club,” Simmy said.
“Just get out. Damn. You are so annoying with all of your questions all of the time. Shit,” Veronica snapped.
The valet opened Simmy’s door and she exited. Simmy waited a few seconds for Veronica to come around and meet her since, clearly, she didn’t know anything about coming to this place.
“C’mon, nosey,” Veronica snapped, leading the way.
Simmy followed her inside. Veronica whispered something to the girl standing at the hostess podium in the foyer. The girl said something into a tiny black microphone clipped to her shirt, and two waiters appeared.
“Right this way, ladies,” one of the waiters said.
Simmy thought it was so amazing how Veronica received super VIP treatment everywhere she went. Money talked and bullshit definitely walked in Veronica’s case.
Simmy followed until Veronica stopped and stepped aside.
“Surprise!” a crowd screamed.
Simmy threw her hand up to her mouth, and her eyes stretched wide. She gasped. “Oh, my God! Oh, my God!” she kept saying over and over.
Within seconds, Alex rushed into her and pulled her close to him. “Surprise, young’un. I told you that your family was gonna come through. Now we here to celebrate you officially becoming a member of the family. Today we celebrate you!” he exclaimed. Right after, he whispered in her ear as he held her close, “I got you now and forever. Don’t you ever forget that. You’re in deep with me now, young’un, in real deep.”
Simmy had a smile from ear to ear. She completely ignored what Alex had just whispered to her. She returned Alex’s embrace and scanned the crowd that had gathered for her. When her eyes landed on Veronica, the look on Veronica’s face sent a cold chill down Simmy’s spine. Simmy realized right then that if looks could kill, she would’ve dropped dead on the spot from the way Veronica was looking at her.
* * *
Simmy got sloppy drunk at her surprise party, so drunk that Alex had to throw her over his shoulder and into the back seat of his SUV just to be able to take her back to his house.
“I can’t trust you to be alone tonight,” Alex said.
“Me? Man, I’m grown,” Simmy slurred from the back seat. It was the last thing she said before falling into a deep sleep. She was so drunk she didn’t feel Alex’s hands roaming all over her body later.
When Simmy finally awoke the next day, she struggled to open her eyes. Every time she tried, pain daggered through her skull. Her entire body ached like she’d worked out for twenty hours straight.
She groaned, “Where am I?” She fought to get her eyes to focus. It was definitely not Jayla’s apartment. Simmy bolted upright. The sudden motion caused her head to spin. She put her hands up to her aching head and looked to her left. Alex was sprawled on his stomach, naked and snoring. Simmy’s eyes bulged. She looked down, and she was buck-naked too. Then, she became painfully aware of the nagging ache between her legs. Even with her head pounding and the room spinning, Simmy jumped out of Alex’s bed like she’d woken up next to a poisonous snake.
“Oh, my God,” she gasped, gathering her dress up from the floor and rushing out of his bedroom. She stopped in the hallway and looked around for the bathroom. She tried a door, but it was another bedroom, and inside was one of Alex’s boys and a girl, both naked and sprawled out too. Simmy hurriedly closed the door and tried another. She rushed into the bathroom, locked the door, and flopped down on the toilet.
“What the fuck?” she whispered, her hand trailing down to her crotch. She felt the sticky wetness. “Oh, God.” She lowered her face into her hands. Alex had had sex with her, and it was unprotected at that.
Simmy didn’t know whether to cry, scream, kick, fight, or curse. She wanted to do it all. Kyan’s face the last time she’d visited him trampled through her brain. Then, she pictured the evil glare Veronica had shot at her last night when Alex had hugged her. It was betrayal all the way around. This wasn’t supposed to happen.
A knock on the door startled Simmy so bad she almost fell off the seat.
“Ay, young’un, you a’ight?” Alex called from the other side of the door, his voice still gruff with sleep.
Simmy closed her eyes and bit down into her bottom lip. “Um, yeah. I just had to pee,” Simmy replied, fighting back tears.
“A’ight. Come back to bed. I miss you,” he said.
That was it. Simmy couldn’t hold in the tears any longer. She covered her face with her hands and cried as silently as she could into them. What the hell was she going to do now? What the hell had just happened? She felt violated in the worst way possible. She never thought this would or could ever happen to her. But she knew better than to make a fuss to Alex about it. She needed this job, and she didn’t want to say anything and risk losing it.
Simmy was able to convince Alex that she was too hung over and sick to
come back to bed. She told him she really needed to get home. After quite a bit of pleading on her part, he finally relented. As Simmy and Alex exited his building together, she tried to walk a few paces behind him. It didn’t matter. Simmy didn’t know it then, but she would find out later that someone had been watching them leave together and knew that she had spent the night with him.
Chapter 15
Turned Out
Simmy didn’t answer Alex’s calls for days after the morning of her celebration. She needed to refocus on the things that were important to her.
“So what’s next?” Simmy asked as she handed $10,000 to Kyan’s new attorney, Mr. Levitz.
“Well, I will speak to the prosecutor and see what can be worked out before we jump out there and scream, ‘Trial.’ I’ve reviewed everything about the case and, I’ll tell you, a plea might be your boyfriend’s best bet,” Mr. Levitz said.
Simmy left the lawyer’s office feeling worse and less hopeful than when she’d first arrived. She spent almost two hours on the train and buses, something she hadn’t done in a while. She was feeling better now that she would see Kyan and tell him that she’d finally fully secured a lawyer for him.
“You getting big being up in here,” Simmy joked as soon as Kyan sat down across from her.
“Nothing to do but work out in here,” he replied. Again, she found his demeanor ungrateful and his tone flat.
“I paid this Jewish lawyer. He’s supposed to be the best at handling your type of case,” Simmy said, forcing fake cheeriness into her tone.
“I appreciate it,” Kyan said, still dry and flat.
Simmy sighed. “Look, Ky. I know you’re stressed but it takes me a few hours to get here, and I don’t want to sit across from you with you treating me like this,” she said.
“Like this how? What do you mean?” Kyan tried to act like he didn’t have a clue.
“Like I’m a bother to you. Like you don’t really want to see me here.”
“A’ight, then stop coming,” he said in a monotone voice.
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