Infiltrate

by Cali Mann

  Before I could stop her, she’d swiped my phone off the table and opened it. Why hadn’t I thought to put a lock on it?

  “Who’s Chuck?” she asked brightly.

  “Just a friend,” I said, holding out my hand. “Give it back.”

  “Just a sec,” Molly said. “Typing in my number.”

  I didn’t know how she could type anything the way she bounced almost constantly.

  Alex scowled at me.

  I knew the thoughts that were whirling in his head. Who was Chuck? Should he be worried? Was I turning into Mom? And honestly, I didn’t know. Maybe I was turning into our mother, trying to manipulate guys into giving me what I wanted, except what I wanted wasn’t anything for me. It was to keep Alex safe.

  “Here you go,” Molly said, handing the phone to me. “I rang myself back so I’d have your number.”

  “Thanks,” I said, glancing at the screen. She’d added a heart and a smiley face after her name. Of course she had.

  “Don’t worry, Alex,” she said with a grin. “We’ll get you hooked up with a phone right away, then you can call your sister any time you want.”

  He pinned me with his baby blue eyes. “And you’ll tell me when something . . . like this happens.”

  “Of course,” I said. If you need to know, little brother.

  His eyes narrowed. He knew I was lying. One didn’t live as closely as we had for all that time without learning a thing or two about the other person.

  Alex sighed. “Are you really all right?”

  “Yes, I have painkillers and a comfy bed. I’m just going to rest a couple of days, then I’ll be fine.”

  He grunted but didn’t argue anymore. “Come on, Moll,” he said. “Let’s go.”

  Molly waved at me, and I watched them head out. I was glad I’d sent Molly to him. He needed a friend. I groaned and rolled over, closing my eyes again.

  * * *

  A noise roused me from slumber later that night. I blinked, looking around the darkened infirmary. “Who’s there?” I called, reaching for my phone.

  Drew came out of the shadows.

  “Oh, hey,” I said.

  “I heard you’d been hurt,” he said. “Again.”

  I gave a half-smile. “Don’t know why these things keep happening to me.”

  “Just trouble I guess,” he said, but though his words were joking, his tone was deadly serious. He shifted from one foot to the other, and his gaze darted around, anywhere but my face.

  “I think we’re alone,” I said, gesturing and studying him. “What’s the matter?”

  He swallowed uneasily, then he said, his voice rough, “Why’d you kiss Lucan?”

  “What do you mean?” I asked. Did he expect that one fuck gave him boyfriend rights? We barely knew each other.

  “He’s an asshole.” His whole body was tense. He reached out and closed his fingers around my wrist. “Why, Sasha?”

  I tugged my arm, but he held fast. “Let me go.”

  He sat down on the side of the bed, not giving up his grip on me. “I just need to know.”

  I glimpsed his fangs as he spoke—he hadn’t bothered to hide them. A shiver ran down my spine. “We’re not exclusive, Drew. We were just fooling around.”

  He snarled, “I know that. And I’ve done everything I can to not mate you.”

  My mouth dropped open as I suddenly got it. “But you want to?”

  “Of course I fucking want to. I wouldn’t be here at midnight begging you to tell me what’s going on if I didn’t.”

  “But we can’t,” I whispered, rubbing the side of his hand.

  “Why not?” He ran his other hand through his hair. “I mean, I know it’ll piss off my family and we’re young and you might go mad. I know all the reasons.”

  I nodded.

  His dark eyes studied me. “But there’s something else, isn’t there?”

  I ran my teeth over my bottom lip. Something in me wanted to tell him everything, to spill out my whole sordid life, because, despite our efforts, we had made some kind of connection. We weren’t mated because we hadn’t had intercourse, but the potential was there. “Even if I mated you, I’d have to have others. Four mates are needed to not go insane.”

  “One from each element,” he said. “I know.”

  “Lucan’s earth,” I said as gently as I could. “It could be him.”

  His hand tightened around my wrist, and I winced. I knew he didn’t mean to hurt me, just as I didn’t mean to hurt him with my words.

  “Okay,” he said quietly. “If it’s him, then I’ll accept it. He’s a jerk and doesn’t deserve you, but I can accept it. But I thought you didn’t want to mate?”

  “I don’t.”

  “Then why?”

  I pushed back against the bed, trying to move away, but he held me fast. “Drew, you’re scaring me.”

  He shook his head. “No, nothing scares Sasha Wren.”

  “Lots of things scare me.” But he was right. Drew didn’t scare me. Part of me wanted to say fuck it all and give myself over to him.

  Leaning forward, he took a whiff of me, like a dog scenting a fox. “You smell like honeysuckle, you know? Well, blood and honeysuckle.”

  I stared at him. What was wrong with him?

  He lifted my wrist to his mouth and licked it. “You taste like them too.”

  Even though I was trembling, it wasn’t fear that filled me, it was desire. “I can’t . . .”

  “You’ll kiss Lucan Masters in front of the whole school, but you won’t let me make love to you?”

  My phone buzzed, and our eyes both darted to it.

  Drew picked it up and swiped the screen.

  Shit, I really need to put a lock on that thing.

  “Who’s Chuck?” Drew asked. “And why is time ticking? And who’s this kid?”

  My stomach swirled.

  He cocked his head. “He looks like you.”

  Fuck. I couldn’t do this alone anymore. I needed help. Exhaling, I said, “That’s my brother, Alex.”

  Drew nodded. “And why is Chuck sending you threatening messages?”

  “He’s going to kill Alex if I don’t do what he says.” I swallowed. I hadn’t said it out loud before, not even to myself.

  “And what does he say?” Drew’s voice was cold and hard, but it wasn’t directed at me. He wanted to hurt Chuck. For me.

  “I have to make sure spirit shifters are never welcome at Thornbriar Academy again.”

  Drew sat back, rolling it over in his mind. I could see all the thoughts running over his face. “How?”

  “However. He’s light on the details.”

  “And who is this guy? How did you meet him?”

  I frowned. “I’ve already said too much. But you see, don’t you?”

  Drew nodded. “You kissed Lucan to cause trouble, with the pack and with his family.”

  “Yes,” I said.

  “And you don’t want to mate because you expect to die.”

  “There’s no other way this ends,” I said. “I have to act crazy to cause the trial to fail. When it does, they’ll lock me up or they’ll kill me.”

  “I won’t let that happen.”

  “You don’t get a say in this. He’s my brother, and I will do whatever I need to protect him.”

  Drew blinked, then he squeezed my arm. “Use me.”

  “What?”

  “My family are people of influence too. They won’t be happy if you mate me.”

  “I can’t—”

  He grimaced. “Then pretend. We’ll make a mate tattoo, and you’ll hang on my arm, and we’ll make-believe.”

  “But why?”

  “I’ll piss off my father and you’ll convince Chuck that you’re doing your job,” he said. “We both win.”

  “Is that even possible? To fake a mate tattoo?”

  He nodded. “I think so.”

  I bit my lip. Why was Drew doing this? He wanted to mate me. Why settle for second best? I didn’t u
nderstand. But I had to admit, it was a good plan. It would at least give me enough time to come up with a better one. “You’re really willing to do this?”

  “Yes,” he said, determination etched across his features.

  “Your father may never forgive you.”

  A dark smile crossed his face. “Good.”

  “Okay,” I said. I was going to regret this. I knew I was. Letting Drew in on my secrets was bad enough; risking his happiness was worse. We could never be any more than we were now. But I had to save my brother, and I didn’t see any other way to do it. “As soon as I’m out of here.”

  He nodded. “It’s a deal.”

  I sighed.

  “You worry like an old mother hen, Sasha.”

  I grunted.

  Leaning down, he kissed me gently, then he rose to leave. “You should know I’m not giving up on the real thing either.”

  That’s what I’m afraid of.

  22

  Lucan

  I went to see Sasha in the infirmary and—like an idiot—brought a bunch of wildflowers. I kept glancing at the purple and pink blooms in disgust.

  Disgust at myself for bringing them. But I did feel guilty about my pack members attacking her. She’d been in there a week, so Nancy must have taken quite a shot at her.

  Disgust at my pack for taking up a fight that wasn’t theirs. Like I couldn’t handle a little girl like Sasha. But they saw her hitting on me as an attack on the pack itself. Like she was trying to weaken their alpha or some shit. It was nonsense, and I’d smacked them down for it.

  Disgust at myself for going anywhere near this chick. I’d known she was trouble at first glance, and now had to go and apologize to a little girl that I needed to stay far, far away from. My wolf whined within me. He didn’t agree.

  But then, he wasn’t a rational-minded human. The pack needed my guidance. Sasha would only mean trouble for them and me. Besides, she needed four mates in order to not go bat-shit, and I was an alpha. I didn’t share.

  I stopped in at the nurse’s station, and the gray-haired lady told me to go along into the girls’ infirmary. “Thank you.”

  The door opened, and my wolf’s ears heard the quiet conversation. I paused, trying to decipher who it was, but I couldn’t. After inching forward, I peered around the door and down the aisle. A blond kid sat on the end of Sasha’s bed. He was young and scrawny.

  My wolf gave a satisfied grunt. Not competition.

  I sighed. There was no competition. She wasn’t for us.

  My wolf huffed and gave me a little nudge forward. Dammit. I shouldn’t be doing this. I marched down the aisle anyway.

  As soon as they turned toward me, I knew they were siblings: same angel-light blond hair, startling blue eyes, thin noses, and pale lips. That’s where the similarity ended, though. Sasha was ripe and voluptuous, with a woman’s curves, and her brother was, well, a kid. Holding out the wildflowers, I said, “Hi.”

  They both blinked at me, confusion evident on their faces.

  I laid the flowers on the nightstand. “I just wanted to come and apologize. My packmate shouldn’t have done this.”

  The boy was on his feet immediately, fangs out. “You hurt my sister!”

  “No, my packmate did.” I sighed. “My friend.”

  “Sit down, Alex,” Sasha admonished. She patted the bed in an almost motherly way. “Lucan didn’t have anything to do with this.”

  Her brother sat down, but his eyes watched me. My wolf approved. He was pack. I shook myself. No. The Wrens are not pack.

  I lifted my eyes to Sasha. “I just wanted to say sorry and I hope you recover soon.”

  “Thanks, Lucan,” she said with a small smile. She lifted the wildflowers and sniffed them. “They’re beautiful.”

  “You’re welcome,” I said, backing away. “I’ll leave you to your company.”

  My wolf whined inside, but I turned and left the room. I didn’t even know the girl. She couldn’t be my mate.

  * * *

  I unrolled my yoga mat, in preparation for Focus class, and tried not to think about Sasha. I’d apologized to her. That was all that was required. My wolf paced back and forth inside me.

  “Today, we’re going to go through the salutation series that we talked about yesterday,” Professor Frank said, striding up and down the rows of students.

  I smiled. Yoga usually settled my wolf when he got restless—the next best thing to a full pack run in the wild.

  Professor Frank dressed the most casually of all our teachers, but Focus class was a mixture of meditation, yoga, and trust exercises, so it was to be expected.

  I stood tall and straight, evening out my body and taking some breaths. These exercises were meant to help us with control so that we could live and work among humans and not give over to our animal selves.

  “Dive down into forward bend,” Professor Frank said. “Breathe.”

  Wolf continued to pace. I shook my head. Sasha wasn’t for us. She was beautiful, sexy, gorgeous even, but we had duties to the pack. Wolf whined.

  The class moved into lunge position.

  Professor Frank stopped next to me and placed a brown hand on my arm. “Lucan, you’re looking very tense today. Let your breath go and relax.”

  “Yes, Professor,” I growled.

  She arched an eyebrow.

  “I’m sorry,” I said,

  “Your wolf is near the surface today,” she said. “Close your eyes and take some deep breaths.”

  I did as she instructed, pulling air into my diaphragm and then exhaling. I smelled honeysuckle. My eyes snapped open and searched around for Sasha, but this wasn’t her class. I knew that. My hands squeezed the mat.

  “Downward dog,” the professor said.

  That’s right. Down dog, down. I didn’t know anything about this girl, except that she knew how to manipulate people, going by her display in class, and I hated being manipulated. Why had my wolf made this connection with her? Even if she was my fated mate, we could never consummate. The pack needed me, strong and whole, not attached to a manipulative, probably crazy, spirit shifter.

  “Drop into plank,” Frank continued.

  Wolf howled, and I was embarrassed to hear it echo off the walls. It sounded strangled and strange coming from my human mouth. I lay my face against the vinyl mat and counted my breaths. What was it about this girl? Sure, our kiss had been amazing, and when she’d melted against me, I’d had a hard time gaining control of myself.

  “Push back up into downward dog,” Frank said. As she passed next to me, she whispered, “Take all the time you need, Lucan.”

  I bit my lip, forcing myself not to snarl. Control. An alpha needed to be in control of himself and his emotions. You’d think that Uncle Derek had beat that into me enough times in the years since my parents died. Taking a breath, I moved into downward dog.

  Soon she’ll take other mates—my wolf whined—and we’ll have to make our peace with it. Spirit shifters need four mates to keep them balanced. Alphas can’t be one among many. We are meant to have one mate all to ourselves. She’s not for us. I repeated it like a mantra through the rest of class. Tonight, we’d go for a long run, and I hoped my wolf would feel better. Wolf snarled.

  23

  Sasha

  Lucan brought me flowers? It was the strangest thing. I spent much of the afternoon just staring at them. It didn’t make any sense. Shouldn’t he be glad to be rid of me? At least temporarily?

  I crossed my arms in front of my chest. The only flowers that ever got delivered to our house were from Mom’s lovers. Usually, they were trying to make up for having treated her poorly. But I’d never seen someone bring flowers or apologize for something someone else had done—except maybe if they were family. Was a pack kind of like a family?

  “Hey,” Drew said, coming down the aisle with a pile of papers and books. He looked tired, as if he’d been running on pure adrenaline since we decided on this plan.

  I sighed. I wasn’t good f
or him. I wasn’t good for anyone.

  “What’s all that?” I asked.

  He dropped the assignments in my lap and set the books down next to my bed. They were stacked so high, they leaned like the Tower of Pisa. “These are books on spirit shifters and mating.”

  I raised an eyebrow. “So, you brought me shifter sex books?”

  “Ha-ha,” he said with a grin. “If we’re going to do this right, we need to know what mate marks look like.”

  “I guess. Aren’t they all the same?” I scratched my head and groaned. I really needed something more than a sponge bath. “Well, except spirit shifter ones.”

  “Yup, yours will look different and may not appear until you have all your mates. The Oracle’s didn’t.” He flipped open a book and started scanning it.

  I frowned. It was so odd to think about the Oracle having been a girl here at Thornbriar Academy just like me, except having to hide her shifter element the whole time. And even odder to see Drew with all his wing tattoos and dangerous air bent over a book.

  Poking him, I asked, “Have you secretly been a nerd this whole time?”

  He grimaced. “That’s what my dad would have preferred.”

  I cocked my head. “What’s he like?”

  “My father?” he asked, returning his gaze to the book. “He’s an asshole.”

  “Oh.” I pulled one of the books into my lap and opened it.

  Drew ran a hand through his hair and glanced up at me. “My dad’s a businessman. He works in construction and real estate. Kalto—my sister—and I rarely see him except when we’re in trouble.”

  I squeezed my hands together in my lap. Was it worse to have a father you’d never seen or one who was there, but never really present? I didn’t know.

  “So, when I was little, I used to act out to get his attention,” he said. “And I think it became like a habit.”

  “But didn’t he like your archery?”

  Drew nodded. “Until I didn’t do it anymore.”

  “Why’d you quit?”

  “Because it was the only thing he cared about. I guess I got tired of performing for him.” Drew sighed. “I’m not a trained bear.”