by Jerry Aubin
Zax smiled at his friend for a moment and then broached the harder topic.
“How are you, Kalare?”
“I’m doing OK. How about yourself?”
“No. Really. How are you? Many of us have noticed you sitting here crying more than a few times, but we all wanted to respect your privacy so we left you alone.”
Kalare’s brilliant blue eyes moistened, but she continued to smile. “I won’t lie, Zax. The past few months have been insanely hard. Ever since I lost the battle with the Earthers, it’s just been one horrible thing after another.”
“Hey, don’t blame yourself for that. There’s no way you could have won that battle. They were just playing with us to draw us in and finish us off. Besides, you won the battle that mattered most. If you hadn’t stepped in and challenged Randel the way you did during the Tribunal, we might have all wound up stranded somewhere in deep space.”
“Thanks, Zax. You’ve always been a good friend and known just the right thing to say.”
“Unless I was talking about the Boss, right?” Zax offered a tentative smile. “That was the only thing that ever really caused problems between us. I admire how you haven’t once rubbed it in about how you were right about him not being involved in Mikedo’s murder. I would never have been quite as gracious if our places were switched.”
“I wish Aleron was still around to hear you say that. He was stuck far too many times listening to me rant and rave about how you were so fixated on that man.”
Kalare closed her eyes, dipped her head, and began to silently weep. Zax was initially at a loss for words, but he forced himself to push through the discomfort. He placed his hand on Kalare’s shoulder and spoke softly.
“I’m so sorry you lost him. I’m glad I was able to know him better once he was older. He grew up to be a good man, and he did an incredibly brave thing at the end. He not only saved us from Rege, he saved the lives of everyone else on board the Ship. If we had died in that explosion, I’d bet anything that Alpha would have still figured out some way to kill everyone on board.”
Kalare sniffled a few times and then wiped the tears from her face and opened her eyes. She smiled at him.
“Thanks, Zax. He really appreciated you as well there at the end. He often expressed guilt about how he behaved when you were both younger and regretted that he hadn’t handled things differently.”
Zax attempted to lift the mood a little. “Are you excited to be heading back up to the Ship? It was great to learn that Rilee convinced the Earthers to help with repairs and retrofits. It sounds like it will take a while to get it all done, but they’ve promised to teach us all about their technology along the way. Just the idea of doing an FTL jump without getting knocked unconscious is positively amazing!”
Kalare suddenly turned away and stared down at the deck. Zax was at a loss as to how anything he said might have upset her. She was silent for a few agonizing moments until she spoke without raising her head.
“I’m not going back to the Ship, Zax. I’m sorry.”
All the air escaped from Zax like he had been kicked in the belly and his eyes went out of focus as his mind swirled.
What did she say?
There’s no way she said what I think she said.
It’s impossible!
Zax didn’t know how long it took, but he finally regained enough control over his mouth to attempt the formation of words.
“Wh-wh-why?”
Kalare turned her body to face him squarely, and grabbed both of his hands to hold between her own.
“Think back to when we first met, Zax. You were so laser-focused on what you wanted to do with your career, and you thought I was some kind of freak because I couldn’t have cared less about where I wound up. I’m sure it was thanks to your influence rubbing off, but eventually I decided to be a pilot and committed to being the best. I made both of those things happen, and I’ll always treasure the fact I earned the role of CAG.
“But when I consider going back to that role and that life, I only feel hollow inside. I assumed at first it was my grief about Aleron, but I’ve spent this week dredging through everything and finally realized I don’t care about being part of the Crew anymore. I’ve lost all interest in flying, and I definitely can’t deal with taking orders from anyone. You and the rest of the pilots deserve better than a commander who doesn’t care. I deserve better than to just jump back on to that path because it’s what I’ve been great at in the past. I’ve already spent half a lifetime zooming around the stars on someone else’s Mission. I want to trade that all in right now and chart my own course. I will explore wherever and however I want, and I’m going to start by experiencing everything Earth has to offer.”
He wanted to argue about Kalare’s logic. He wanted to plead with her to change her mind. But deep down inside, Zax realized it would be unfair to make his friend defend her decision to him. She had already given so much to the Ship and infinitely more to him. She had earned the right to do whatever would make her happy. He forced a smile to his lips and surprised himself when it was genuine.
“I’ll miss you terribly, but I’m happy for you, Kalare. I really am.”
Kalare leaned in and planted a gentle kiss on his cheek.
“I can’t tell you how impossible it will be to watch you leave, Zax. You mean more to me than I can ever say. Our friendship is a huge part of the woman I’ve become. Thank you.”
“Does this mean goodbye, then?”
“Let’s just say see you later instead and hope that it somehow works out that way. OK?”
Zax nodded and his heart nearly burst when Kalare rewarded him with one final radiant smile. She turned back to face the approaching shore and rested her head against his shoulder. They sat together in silence as dusk faded and the sky exploded with stars. If the Earthers had somehow invented a means to freeze time, Zax would have given anything to spend the rest of his days in that very moment.
43
I had already planned on it.
The rising sun lit the scene in the valley below Kalare. A herd of Earth’s largest land animals was starting its day at the watering hole her campsite overlooked. A group of tiny babies romped in the mud as massive females stood guard with their fearsome tusks pointed outwards to deter any predators lurking in the tall grasses. On more than one occasion, Kalare had spent days doing nothing but observing the fascinating interplay of the creatures’ cooperative society, and it was time she considered well spent.
The rustle of the portable shelter caught her attention, and Kalare turned to find Rilee exiting to stand and stretch. The Earther smiled as she spoke.
“That coffee smells delicious. Is there any left for me?”
Kalare held up the mug she had set aside and gestured for her guest to sit down on the rock next to her. Rilee took a couple swallows as she watched the animals below. After a few mins, the woman broke the silence.
“I know they’re incredible beasts, but you must finally be bored after a year of trekking around the continent. Aren’t you?”
Kalare laughed. “I’ve been waiting for you to broach this discussion since you arrived. I must say I’m pleasantly surprised it took you almost a week.”
Rilee smiled. “It had to come up eventually, right?”
“I suppose. Go ahead—share whatever news about my old life you’ve decided must intrude on my new one.”
Rilee took another drink of coffee before continuing.
“They announced a timeline for the Ship to launch again. It’s a little more than four years away.”
“Four more years! What’s taking so long with the refurbishment? I would’ve thought they’d already be done and ready to leave by now.”
“Done? They haven’t even started yet. Do you have any idea how much work is involved in defrosting one billion people to find out what they want to do with their lives? It’s not a shock, but almost all of them opted for immediate resettlement on existing colonies rather than staying with the Ship.”<
br />
Kalare nodded. “If they had been in cryostorage since the original departure, they’re no doubt ready to restart their lives. If they had already been awake and then Culled, I can’t imagine they’d want to go back again. How many people are staying with the Ship?”
“Between the Crew and the civilians, it’s almost two hundred thousand.”
“Civilians? Why would that many civilians stick around?”
“They’re all training to be full-fledged members of the Crew under plans the Boss developed for the Ship’s new society. There’s still a tremendous amount of trust and respect that will need to be earned on both sides, but he’s made a pretty compelling case and lots of people are signing up.”
Kalare raised an eyebrow. “He’s convinced the Ship’s inhabitants, but has he managed to earn any more trust from your Leadership Council?”
Rilee paused for a moment. “The results are mixed. On the positive side, the Council is more willing to believe your people will adapt to a less destructive approach now that we’ve had a chance to study those colonists who put up such a successful fight against us. You know, the ones who were dropped off by the ants the morning Rege took over the Ship? They were fierce combatants, but their records revealed they had always been peaceful unless pushed to defend themselves. They were admirable representatives of the species in their small corner of the universe, and they had even established a successful alliance with an alien race.
“On the negative side, Randel continues to push back about letting the Ship head out again. Thankfully, he’s losing more and more of his influence with the Council. Concluding the story of Adan’s Destruction has accelerated the pace at which the younger generations are taking full control of Earth. Randel keeps trying to align himself with the new leaders, but they’re too smart to let him. The rest of the Council would clearly be more comfortable sending the Ship off on its own if there was similarly a new generation of leadership at the helm, but since you left the Crew there aren’t any great candidates.”
It was obvious Rilee wanted to nudge her towards a return to the Ship, but Kalare refused to take the bait. She changed the subject instead.
“Has everyone agreed what the new mission will be? The Ship obviously isn’t needed for colonization any longer.”
“The Council is dispatching it towards an interstellar dead zone that has blocked all of our previous exploration efforts. Once the Ship has been upgraded with our latest technology and all of its old cryostorage holds have been converted into agricultural and fuel storage facilities, it will have a truly astounding range. They’ll be capable of pushing much further than any of our vessels ever have, and we should finally get to learn about a quadrant of the universe that is nothing but a mystery to us now.”
Kalare smiled. “Being the first to explore all of that uncharted space sounds pretty exciting. Zax must be thrilled.”
“He is. I respected your request and didn’t share with anyone that we were meeting up, but I know he’s missing you terribly. It would mean a lot if you contacted him.”
Kalare turned away for a moment. Memories of Zax stirred up a stew of complicated emotions, and she breathed deeply before replying.
“Thank you for keeping it quiet. I’ll be ready to talk with him again at some point, but not just yet.”
Rilee’s expression exuded compassion. “I don’t think he understands why you’ve had to not only go away, but also shut him out. I do, but I still wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if I didn’t explicitly ask if you wanted to come back with me regardless.”
Kalare laughed. “And here I was hoping I had successfully changed the subject when you hinted at that earlier. I’m sorry, but going back to the Ship holds even less appeal for me now than it did when I first left. You’re welcome to track me down next year and try again, but I’m confident you’ll hear the same answer.”
Rilee grinned. “I had already planned on it.”
44
CAG—we need you on the deck right now.
Zax should have already returned to the Ship, but he chose instead to make a final lap around the asteroid before their departure from Earth. So much about the vessel was the same as when they had first arrived five years earlier, but so many things had changed as well. The most visible of these changes was the fact that the entirety of the Ship was bathed in light. No longer were there large sections where the power had failed and plunged a sector into darkness.
He almost wished the Ship wasn’t so bright because it was a distraction from what had really drawn him to extend his final patrol. Earth, with all of its shimmering blues and whites and greens, spun below. Zax savored his final opportunity to stare at the beautiful rock that had birthed their species just as the continent where he had first stepped foot on the planet came into view. Far down near its southwestern-most tip was where he had spent a week sailing the ocean with Rilee and the rest of the group who had vanquished Adan. Well, except Markev, of course. The memories of that trip were bittersweet, but they were ones he cherished nonetheless. A communication came in from Flight Ops.
“CAG—we need you on the deck right now. The Boss says he’s going to strip your rank if you aren’t in your body and back in Flight Ops in fifteen mins.”
“Aye-aye, Comms. CAG en route.”
Zax stole one last glance at the planet below. He briefly considered how sighting the place where they had shared the last part of their trip together was a great pretense to call Kalare, but he decided against it. The fact the Ship was finally heading off into the unknown had created a lot of stress for his friend, and he didn’t need to add to it by stirring up memories that were fraught with emotion for both of them.
Once he landed his fighter, Zax jumped back into his body and double-timed it to Flight Ops. He almost tripped over a maintenance robot that was polishing the deck as he sprinted out of the Tube, but he managed to stay on his feet. As Zax dashed past the Flight Ops security detail a few secs late, Sergeant Bailee arched an eyebrow in anticipation of what they both understood was coming next. The Boss spun his chair to face Zax and the man’s unlit cigar was clenched between scowling lips.
“You’re fifteen secs past acceptable reporting time, CAG! What kind of example are you setting for the rest of these people?”
“A very poor one, sir. Permission to take my station?”
The Boss strained to remain irked, but his scowl quickly morphed into a grin and he signaled for his CAG to move along. Zax nodded a greeting as he walked past Imair and the woman smiled back up at him. He still wasn’t used to seeing her in a Crew uniform, but he was thrilled she had volunteered for the Ship’s new mission rather than settle on an Earther colony like so many of her fellow civilians.
As he sat down to observe the transit, Zax reluctantly accepted an inbound private message.
“Hi, Mase. You understand we’re about to jump, right, so this isn’t a great time for me to be distracted by you.”
“I understand, Zax. I just had to tell someone again about how amazing this new AI cluster is. No one else around here has quite the same appreciation for it as I know you do. I can’t believe I get to be in charge of all this.”
Zax smiled at his friend’s exuberance. “I miss having you on the stick of a fighter, but I can’t imagine anyone I’d want running that system more than you. Just promise me you won’t ever go Uploading yourself into it.”
“Ha-ha, Zax. Real funny. The AI is telling me that the final jump countdown is about to start. You should get back to work. Let’s grab dinner together later on.”
“I wouldn’t miss it for anything. See you then.”
Zax cut the connection and returned his full attention to Flight Ops just as the jump countdown reached thirty secs. The Boss called out from his seat.
“Have we received final clearance, mini-Boss? Are we ready to go?”
Rilee stood and faced the man. “Yes, Boss. The Leadership Council wishes us a safe journey, and all stations show green for jump.”
A sec later the massive panorama lit up with the captain’s face. Zax noticed her black hair had become streaked with a little gray in recent years due to the strain of preparing the Ship for its new adventure, but the brilliant blue of her eyes had never dulled. The Boss addressed her.
“Ma’am—Your course is laid in and we’re go for Transit. Permission to jump?”
Zax’s heart swelled, as always, when Kalare smiled as she answered.
“Let’s find out how far this new FTL drive will take us.”
This concludes this chapter of the Ship Series, though I expect there will be more.
Thank you for reading. If you haven’t already, I’d greatly appreciate if you could please write a quick review on Amazon for one or all of the books in the series. I’ve found it makes a huge difference for independent authors like me when prospective readers can learn more about a book from others.
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Acknowledgments
This has been an amazing four year adventure and I am incredibly grateful to all of you who have come along on it and are reading these words.
I once again need to thank the editorial team who have been by my side during this journey across my first five books. Stacey Swann continues to be a fantastic editorial resource who helps shape my stories in ways large and small. Claire Rushbrook has once again done a fantastic job of catching the many small mistakes and typos that pile up despite dozens of read-thrus. Any that remain are most likely the fault of me not being able to stop myself from making those last few changes after her work was already done.