Flamingo Blues

by Sharon Kleve

  Flamingo Blues

  Sharon Kleve

  Flamingo Blues

  Copyright 2011

  By Books to Go Now

  For information on the cover illustration and design, contact bookstogonow@gmail.com

  First eBook Edition –December 2011

  Printed in the United States of America

  Warning: the unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this copyrighted work is illegal. Criminal copyright infringement, including infringement without monetary gain, is investigated by the FBI and is punishable by up to 5 years in prison and a fine of $250,000. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form without written permission from the publisher, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages for review purposes.

  This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to any person, living or dead, any place, events or occurrences, is purely coincidental. The characters and story lines are created from the author’s imagination and are used fictitiously.

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  CHAPTER ONE

  Corny Myers could hear them all laughing at her, “Qw uck, aw uck, aw uck!” The seagulls thought her motion sickness was hilarious. They loved the lime-flavored vomit she hurled over the side of the Victoria Clipper. What they were really saying was, “Dive, dive, dive. Could that be a lime chunk she just barfed? I get first dibs on any tortillas she hurls, since I spotted her first; anything that I miss is up for grabs.”

  She understood the disgusting scavengers because Corny was born with a unique psychic ability; she communicates with animals. Her mother and father said it was handed down from her Great Aunt Harriet on her mother’s side; (an ability they preferred not to acknowledge at all.)

  When she received and an email from Groupon, she’d thought it was an advertisement for group sex, and deleted it. When the next email from Groupon arrived, and she saw Christmas getaway in Victoria BC, in the subject line, she took the time to read the whole email. It promoted a two-night stay at The Empress Hotel, one of the oldest and most famous hotels in Victoria. It includes their High Tea and a front row seat for Victoria’s annual lighting of the city Christmas celebration.

  With her busy schedule and Steve’s erratic schedule, they thought this would be the perfect Christmas gift to each other. For a tough-as-nails Seattle cop, her boyfriend had a surprising romantic streak.

  Today was supposed to be the first day of their romantic weekend getaway. Oh, but she had to go and celebrate her trip to Victoria by getting drunk with Kitty Skinner and Brenda Howser. Her fondness for margaritas has now jeopardized their holiday weekend.

  Corny hadn’t intend to get drunk but her friends were excited about the pretty little box she had found in Steve’s closet and one thing led to another and now seagulls are laughing at her.

  She didn’t realize she was mumbling out loud, “Everyone please stop laughing at me …can’t you see I’m sick?”

  Steve gently leaned over her and held her hair out of the way, which she appreciated.

  “Honey, nobody’s laughing at you; it’s thirty-five degrees out here and we’re the only people crazy enough to be freezing our butts off. Let’s get you inside where it’s warm and maybe you’ll feel better.”

  “Steve, it’s the nasty seagulls that are laughing at me. Please make sure they don’t follow us to The Empress Hotel. They’re starting to circle over our heads and those flying garbage cans are placing bets on who can hit me while my head is bent over the side.”

  Steve shook his head and said, “Sorry, I forgot you can hear them.”

  Corny looked around and realized The Victoria Clipper was decorated in gold and red Christmas décor and holiday music played softly in the background. If this didn’t get her into the spirit, then nothing would. Christmas was just two short weeks away and she hadn’t bought one single present yet. Even Pete, her parakeet, complained about her lack of cheer. Her pink frosted Christmas tree was still in its box in her apartment’s storage area. The Santa Claus for her small deck needed to be blown up and her plastic wreaths needed their leaves straightened out. She loved the holiday season, she only needed a little holiday spirit injection and this weekend would do it.

  Ten minutes later Steve led her down to the infirmary, the kind nurse said, “Here eat a couple saltines and drink a little flat Fresca. We keep this on hand for queasy stomachs.”

  “You must see a lot of this?” Steve asked, and indicated her green pallor.

  The nurse thought she had sea sickness; Corny wouldn’t tell her otherwise. She thought she should say something to indicate she’d be okay. “Thank you, we’re spending two nights at The Empress Hotel and we’re going to do major shopping while we’re there.”

  Steve rolled his eyes and said, “Joy.”

  The nurse smiled at both of them. “You’re welcome to stay here and take a little nap. I’m sure you’ll feel much better when you get on land.” and then left them alone in a little cubicle decorated with holly and pinecones.

  That’s when Corny heard the unmistakable sound of a hamster exercise ball banging around outside their cubicle. The nurse must have forgotten to put her hamster back in its cage before she left them alone. The critter wanted back in its home and was more than willing to tell her all about his woes.

  “Steve, can you open the curtain and bring me that hamster please?”

  “Don’t tell me he wants to talk to you?”

  “He just wants back in his cage, but I want to say hi first. I really love the little pocket pets.”

  Steve found the little guy wedged in-between a file cabinet and the wall and brought him to her.

  The hamster started right in with, “Why does she think I want to run around all day inside of a plastic ball? Would she want to spend her day in a plastic ball? I don’t think so…Can you please get me out of this contraption and put me back in my cage?”

  Corny chuckled to herself, “How about I leave her a note about the hazards of leaving a hamster in a plastic ball to long? Specifically, you can get stuck in corners.”

  “That would be great. Now can I get something to eat please?”

  “Steve, do you mind making sure he has some food and fresh water and put him back in his cage? I’m going to close my eyes for a couple of minutes. I love you for being so sweet, kind and understanding.”

  “Is that all he wanted to talk about?” Steve asked.

  “Yep, most of the times they simply want someone to listen to them.”

  When Corny woke from a short nap, they were pulling into Victoria harbor and surprisingly, she didn’t feel too bad. Maybe she hadn’t ruined their romantic weekend after all.

  CHAPTER 2

  They took the free shuttle from the dock to the hotel enjoying the quaint décor of Victoria. Victoria’s reminiscent of an English village in the 1840’s with its horse-drawn carriages, double-decker buses, formal gardens, and tea rooms. The city is now a cosmopolitan center with a lively entertainment scene and wonderful array of attractions like an outdoor ice skating rink and live music, but most importantly, she’d get all her shopping done in one weekend. Far more important than getting her Christmas shopping done, she hoped Steve would ask her to move in with him. That pretty little box was always on her mind.

  “Steve, while you’re checking us in I’m going to look at all the holiday displays and phenomenal lights. I’m starting to get that little flutter in my belly. You know the one you get when you wake up Christmas morning and know Santa’s been there.”

  Steve gave her the, ‘you still believe in Santa look.’

  “What I believe in is that something very magical happens between Christm
as Eve and Christmas morning. Admit it. You get that excited feeling too.”

  “Okay, I’ll admit I get a little excited for Christmas morning too.”

  The Groupon was for the Fairmont Room, overlooking the city but after the desk clerk saw how sick she looked, plus some sweet-talking from Steve, they were upgraded to a two bedroom suite overlooking the Inner Harbor.

  Steve opened the door to their suite and they both said, “Wow!”

  “Corny, something definitely good came from you being sick, look at this place. I’m a guy, but I can appreciate a nice soft, down-filled bed cover, especially when it comes with a Temper-Pedic Cloud bed. Come look at the bathroom, it has a marble floor. It kinda looks like a swirling green sea. These sinks are the size of your bathtub in your apartment, and the shower cold fit a whole football team. Come here, I want to show you something,” Steve said in his, I’m turned on voice.

  Wonderfully strong arms wrapped around Corny’s waist and Steve whispered in her ear, “That’s an impressive shower...should we try it out before dinner? Let’s see who can get their clothes off first.”

  She loved a challenge and finishing first; first to get naked and first to the orgasm finish line. After snuggling on the comfy bed for an hour, Corny got up. “Let’s see if we can actually bounce on this thing.” And giggling like a kid when they were able to get air, they began to bounce.

  Steve sighed.“I’m starving. Let’s get dressed and find a restaurant and have some dinner, okay?”

  They went downstairs and asked the hotel concierge where he suggested for dinner.

  “The Bengal Lounge has excellent contemporary Indian food and an extensive wine list.”

  Corny looked at Steve. “Do you know what contemporary Indian food is?”

  “No, but I’m willing to give it a try if you are.”

  “What the heck, this weekend is an adventure,: she replied.

  After looking at the menu for a while they both said, “I can’t decide.”

  Steve, being a decisive cop said, “Let’s order a bunch of dishes and share, okay?”

  “The more food the better, that’s a great idea.” What Corny really wanted to say was; can we share your house too?

  She wanted this weekend to be really special. After placing an enormous order of food he places a small box in front of Corny and waited.

  “Steve, what’s this?” her voice soft and a little breathless.

  He coaxed her, “Open it and look, it’s not your Christmas present though, you’ll get that on Christmas morning.”

  “My hands are shaking” she said when she finally got the wrapping paper off. She knew the minute she lifted the lid it was the key to his house. A bright and shiny new key, too, and not the one he kept under his dead petunia pot. “Oh Steve, are you sure about this?” Corny said as tears leaked down her cheeks.

  “Yes honey, I am absolutely sure, I love you.”

  Anxiously Corny asked, “You know Pete, my parakeet is part of the bargain too. Are you okay with that?”

  “Yes, Pete can move in too,” Steve said with and exaggerated sigh.

  They both laughed. Then their food arrived and it looked and smelled excellent. The table’s centerpiece was a large cranberry candle surrounded by green and red holly berries. The plates were decorated with cranberries too.

  Steve was asking her questions about the food but she was still staring at the shiny new key she held in the palm of her hand.

  “What do you want to try first, the lamb curry with spinach or the curried scallops? Man the cinnamon fried rice smells incredible. I’m glad we ordered that dish too.”

  “I’ll take a little bit of everything please.” as she continued to rub the key.

  After an incredible dinner, they took a romantic stroll around Victoria and looked in the shops--she was trying to get ideas for Christmas presents.

  “Steve, I think I have a strategy for shopping tomorrow. It should only take me an hour; maybe two too get it all done. How about you, are you going to do any shopping while were in Victoria?”

  “Only if I see something that catches my eye, I pretty much have already finished my shopping. Some of us don’t wait until the last minute to do it…Steve said with a smirk.

  Corny hadn’t drunk any alcohol at dinner, but once in their suite, she craved a beer and a chocolaty, gooey, concoction of some sort. A hotel of this caliber must offer a wonderful collection of desserts she thought, and opened the room service menu.

  Steve said, “I feel a little grimy--why don’t you choose a dessert and order a couple of beers for us and I’ll be right out.”

  “Okay.” She couldn’t stop fondling her new key. She would have her place packed--moved in with Steve before Christmas--how wonderful!

  CHAPTER THREE

  The next morning, after exploring every inch of Steve’s body again, Corny promised herself she would get all of her shopping done before doing anything fun--like visiting the glorious Caribbean Flamingos at The Butterfly Gardens. If they had time, she wanted to visit The Butchart Gardens too. They were only a couple of miles away and had miniature monkeys, which were hilarious to watch.

  The Empress Hotel provided a double-decker bus service that would take them sightseeing around Victoria, called the Gray Line’s Express. Guests just hopped on and off at designated areas, and could pretty much cover all of the downtown area. While they waited for the bus to arrive, a couple Royal Canadian Mounted Police came over on their horses and stood near them. Like any animal, they were having a discussion about the people around them.

  Corny heard them talking and the first horse said, “Check out the fat woman, who’s walking down the street with her skinny poodle. She’s about ready to bust out of her spandex pants and look at that muffin- top bulge.”

  The second horse replied, “I bet if she fell on her dog she’d squash it flat.” and then snickered.

  When the poodle got close enough to hear the horses’ remarks he took offense to the horses’ criticism of his owner’s big butt and said, “Hey buddy, you should take a look in the mirror--you don’t have a small ass either.” as he made a lunge for one of their legs

  The first horse swished its tail at the poodle and said, “Watch it or I’ll drop-kick you to America.”

  The poodle responded with a confident, “Bring it on wide load.” and lunged again.

  Things were really heating up between the horses’ and the poodle and Corny didn’t want to see the cute little dog get hurt. She tried diplomacy with the horses, “Haven’t you ever heard the phrase; if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all?”

  Well, that was the wrong thing to say because both horses pulled their lips and bared their huge teeth to her; now she had pissed-off the Royal Canadian Mounted Police horses’. Probably nobody had ever had the balls to scold them before.

  They turned to Corny and said, “Hey lady, you could lose a few pounds yourself.” and then they were led away with their dignity intact.

  Steve turned and said, “We’ll talk later about that little exchange you had with the horses and poodle later.”

  “Okay.” She said in a resigned voice.

  And then it crossed her mind she might be responsible for buying Steve’s family gifts--since they would be living together. “Hey, this living together thing is already getting complicated and I haven’t even moved in yet. Do you celebrate Christmas with your family?”

  “What’s complicated? You pack your things and move in.”

  “It would be rude not to buy presents for your family if I’m living with you. What do they want for Christmas?”

  “Cripes Corny, I usually buy my sister’s and brother’s kids gift cards. They seem to be fine with that.”

  She had her pen ready to write, “What’s your sister’s cell number? She’ll know what your family wants.”

  Steve said, “Crap, this trip is going to get expensive.”

  After a half hour on the phone with Steve’s sister, Corny had d
oubled her shopping list. His sister was happy for them and now his family knew they were upping their relationship status. Corny and Steve headed off for the shops along Government Street and finished a good chunk of her list before her feet felt like lead. This shopping stuff was for the birds…Speaking of birds--Corny thought she spotted one of the nasty seagulls from the Clipper flying overhead. Corny and Steve didn’t need an incentive to duck into one of the English pubs for a beer and lunch, but spotting the seagulls was an excellent excuse. They decided to put off the rest of their shopping until after breakfast the next day; she had a pretty good idea where to find everything anyway.

  By the time they arrived at the Empress Hotel and unloaded their haul, they had enough time to get to the bus--for The Butterfly Gardens. The double-decker bus was only partially full and they were able to sit on the top level a bench seat all by themselves.

  Steve got that hot smoldering look in his eyes and whispered, “Corny, spread your legs a little.”

  “Like this?” said Corny, slowly opening her knees with a smoldering look of her own.

  “That’s perfect,” Steve replied in a low sexy voice.

  He slid his hand between her legs and--slowly rubbed up and down with the side of his large hand, causing quite a bit of sensual friction. He was definitely starting a fire down there.

  Then he asked, “Now tell me, what happened with those horses? They looked right at you and then showed their teeth, which were quite impressive.”

  Corny ignored his questions, “That feels so good. Move your hand a little to the left; oh boy, that’s the spot.

  “I’m going to stop if you don’t tell me what happened.” Steve started to remove his hand.

  “No.” She grabbed his hand and pressed the palm deeper between her legs. “I’ll tell you anything you want to know, but don’t stop.”

  “Okay, did you see that large woman with her poodle walking down the street?”

  “Yes. What about her?”Steve replied.

  Corny tried to explain what happened, “The poodle and the horses were about to get into a brawl and the dog wouldn’t have survived. I scolded them and the horses left in a huff. Steve, is that weird-looking lady heading our way? Get your hand out of my crotch – fast.”