Never Deal with Dragons

by Christensen, Lorenda

  Bright red tapestries screamed their value from the walls, and marble staircases were lined with golden banisters on all four floors. In my opinion, the decor was frighteningly similar to photos I’d seen of Hollywood’s version of tasteless, prewar Vegas boudoirs.

  My hands itched for a feather boa.

  Like Lord Relobu’s mansion, this place was a castle. When we arrived, dragon guards stood at each entrance, dressed in full battle gear. There had been no kindly butler to greet us at the door. Instead, armored escorts led us to our rooms, and we were told to wait until collected for mealtime. The guards, in rough, Chinese-tinged dragonspeak, made it clear that Hian-puo’s hospitality extended only as far as this wing of the house.

  Doing my best to keep the situation noncombative, I nodded and graciously accepted the guards’ “requests” on behalf of our group, despite Trian’s irritation.

  An hour later, we were all gathered into my room, and with nothing else to do, Richard and Carol were torturing me with fashion. Trian sat on the couch, legs stretched under the coffee table, as he went over with Henry and Dan what we’d seen of the palace. Dreru and his four dragon colleagues had been housed in a different section of the building more suited to dragonian comforts. The lack of guards hadn’t made Trian happy, but there wasn’t much we could do.

  He’d spent the first twenty minutes of our arrival harping on the importance of the buddy system when wandering the house, and asking incessantly whether we knew how to use our phones. Poor Henry had been ordered to shadow me in the bathroom if necessary, and Dan had received the same orders regarding Carol. When Carol asked whether we could eat peanut butter and jelly at recess and play on the swings, Trian had given her a ferocious glare.

  He’d been in a bad mood ever since.

  For my part, I’d given her a grin and a thumbs-up as soon as his back was turned. He was freaking me out with his endless worrying. I couldn’t tell whether the nerves I felt were intuition, or a product of Trian’s security paranoia.

  As I was poked and prodded, Trian’s gaze wandered around the room, cataloging our surroundings with a practiced eye.

  “Quite the golden paradise, isn’t it?” I shot a pointed glance to the ridiculously large chandelier hanging fifty feet above our heads. I wondered whether all the rooms in the castle sported enormous light fixtures. You’d think someone who liked well-lit areas would have picked something other than a medieval-style castle for his home.

  But the chandelier was gold-plated, and that’s all it really took for a dragon to be interested.

  “Yes it is,” he murmured, his eyes still scanning the room. “Something doesn’t feel right.”

  I laughed. “You think we need more lights? Another coat of gold paint?”

  “I don’t mean the room, exactly. Well, yes, the room. There’s something odd about it.”

  I took another look. He was right. “It’s new.”

  Trian stopped staring at the chandelier and turned his head to face me. “What?”

  “Everything—not just the gold—is shiny and new.” I motioned toward the bedroom. “The bed, the curtains, the candles—everything is brand new, straight off a store’s shelves.”

  There wasn’t an item in the room with signs of wear. Even the nicest hotel rooms had at least a small scuff on the furniture, or blankets nicely fluffed by a clothes dryer, but this room had been lifted directly from a magazine spread. Even the curtains still held the slight fold of their previous packaging.

  Trian nodded in agreement. “So they put these rooms together for our benefit. Should that signify something?”

  “I’m not sure.” I sighed. “Hian-puo has human servants, I guess it surprises me that these rooms weren’t made available to them before our arrival. It’s one thing to change the sheets but it’s another to have to buy the bed. I wonder what they used these rooms for in the past.”

  There was a heavy knock on the door.

  Carol rubbed her hands together. “Mealtime.” She looked at me, and I gave her a quick smile. She was nervous; we all were. I made a mental note to take her on a massive shoe shopping trip for joining me on this assignment, despite her obvious discomfort around dragons.

  I felt tears forming. Carol was the best friend I ever had. But now wasn’t the time. I was jet-lagged, and lack of sleep always made me emotional. It wouldn’t do for me to arrive all weepy-eyed and disgusting. We all needed to have our best feet forward.

  Carol made one last adjustment to my dress before fluffing her own hair in the mirror.

  “Well, do I pass muster?” I held out my hands and did a slow twirl in my heels and dress.

  Richard eyed me critically. “You look like you’re ready to go to war. In a manner suited for a nice, sweet female negotiator.” As he didn’t sound disappointed, I assumed that was the plan.

  Serving as a Lord Relobu’s representative in the talks, Richard exuded competence and a keen sense of style in his formal dinner attire. Carol looked cool and chic in her knee-length cocktail dress. Dan, Henry and Trian demonstrated that a tuxedo could be both urban and lethal.

  I looked to the mirror to bolster my courage. If the choice of clothes made a difference, we were more than equal to the task. “If war is what they want, we’ll bring it to them. But on our terms. And at a negotiation table.”

  Dan and Henry headed for the door, ready to precede us down the hall to the dining area while Carol and Richard made last-minute adjustments to their clothing.

  Trian handed me a thigh sheath. “Put this on—keep it with you at all times. And remember, don’t be afraid to take it out if you feel threatened in any way” He patted my shoulder. “And don’t look so grim. You’ll do fine.”

  I ignored his mini pep talk and stared at the knife in confusion. “I don’t need this! Did you miss the part about the negotiation table?”

  This time the knock on our door was accompanied by an irritated growl. Dan turned back to his boss. “Are we ready?”

  “Almost.” Trian dropped to his knees on the floor in front of me.

  “Whoa. What are you doing?” He shoved up the skirt of my dress. “Excuse me!”

  “Hold this.” He held the material in front of my hand.

  I grabbed the wadded silk just above my knee and tried not to blush as I felt Trian’s hand’s circle my upper thigh. “Could we do this somewhere without an audience?”

  The minute I said the words I regretted them. Trian looked up and gave me a devastating smile. “Absolutely. Just name the time and place and I’ll be there.” His finger slipped a full inch higher than it needed to be before he dropped his hands and stood.

  I took a deep breath. Trian leaned in and spoke quietly, back in business-mode. “Remember. Calm, collected and just a touch mean.”

  I gave him a sharp glare that was completely ruined by the spots of heat burning on my cheeks. “I can do mean.”

  He smiled and ran a thumb just under my eye. “Prove it.” I nodded and opened the door to greet the dragons waiting on the other side. Showtime.

  Chapter Nine

  Within moments, I was certain Hian-puo had no intention of taking the negotiation seriously. The dragon lord was nowhere to be found, and the room was crammed full of armored, angry dragons. Sure, he was abiding to the agreement between himself and Relobu by allowing our presence, but not in spirit.

  I was beginning to think Hian-puo was using the discussions over prisoners as a delaying tactic. I wanted to know why.

  Preferably before I got ripped to shreds by a dragon’s claw.

  I was glad of my position at DRACIM. For someone not familiar with dragon feeding methods, the sight before me would have been shocking to say the least. The night of DRACIM’s “interview” Lord Relobu had taken great pains to serve us separately from his dragons; Hian-puo had no such desire.

  “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think he wants us scared,” I murmured to Trian as we entered the dining hall.

  Hian-puo’s dragons were spread thro
ughout the room, perched above a staggering amount of raw meat. Rime, the winged leader from the Tulsa meeting, half walked, half slithered away from his perch to whisper in the ear of a large brown dragon. The dragon laughed once before turning toward the kitchen.

  While we watched, a terrified goat was shoved through a set of double doors at the far end of the room. The poor thing ran the gauntlet, its hooves skidding on the stone floor as it tried to avoid the surrounding predators. The animal didn’t make it five feet before the brown dragon reached out and casually speared it through the chest, lifting its still-squirming body into the air as a grotesque puppet.

  The brown dragon grinned before shoving the carcass down his gullet, while Rime waited for my reaction. I felt Dan shift until he stood directly beside me. By sheer force of will, I kept my face blank.

  I heard Carol’s choked cry and the low voice of Richard as he tried to calm her. There was a reason Carol was a vegetarian, and after that little display, I was seriously considering the lifestyle myself. I heard her retch, but I didn’t look back. With luck, our bodies shielded Carol from view, and I didn’t want to draw any attention to her if I could help it. There was nothing worse than showing fear in front of a dragon. Especially these dragons.

  “Cute. But I’m not fond of raw meat. Do you have anything that’s seen a fire lately?” I might be dressed like a helpless princess, but they wouldn’t get rid of me that easily. I’d basically risked my job for this negotiation, and there was no way I would let Rime screw this up for me.

  Rime narrowed his eyes. “I’m glad you could make it. Make yourselves at home. Sit anywhere.” He gestured to the spattering of the barstool-like chairs, similar to those we used at DRACIM, in the corner. Each and every one was covered in gore.

  “Nice to see you again,” I lied through my teeth. “You left so fast last time, I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye.”

  Our dragons were nowhere to be seen, and I wondered whether that was by accident or design. I glanced to Trian for his reaction to the dragon’s display, curious to know if he was concerned about the muscle of our little team being kept from the festivities. When he caught me watching, he lifted an eyebrow. If I didn’t know him better, I’d think the show had left him bored.

  If he wasn’t worried, I wasn’t worried. But my friend didn’t need to be here. Carol was still having trouble controlling her gag reflex. I looked to Henry over my shoulder. “Take her back to the room. We’ll be there in an hour.”

  “I’m going with Carol.” Richard was furious. And I couldn’t blame him. But he was Relobu’s representative.

  I walked over and put a hand on Richard’s shoulder. “I need you here for the negotiations.”

  “Screw the negotiations.” Without another word, Richard stomped after Henry through the same doors as we’d entered, leaving Trian, Dan and me to face a room full of amused dragons.

  Rime clapped the brown dragon companionably on the back and returned to his table, a self-satisfied smile stretching across his leathery muzzle.

  The Chinese dragons were definitely trying to delay our negotiations.

  Anger rolled through me as Rime ducked his head to take a large gulp of his drink. His arm shook as he returned the bowl to the table.

  Just like it had at our last meeting. With a touch of his elbow, I stopped Trian from approaching the table.

  “That’s it,” I muttered, picking up the hem of my dress to step over a puddle of unknown fluid as I approached Rime.

  “Myrna, what are you doing?” Trian had seen the determined glint in my eyes and grabbed my elbow in an attempt to stop me.

  I shook free of his grip and grabbed a human chair, scooting it up to Rime’s table.

  *

  “Is this seat taken?” Without waiting for a response, I climbed up the chair beside the snakelike dragon, ignoring the stains I’d probably added to my beautiful dress as I sat.

  As Rime’s table was no cleaner than the others in the hall, I crossed my legs and angled them in the other direction. “Not to be rude, but could you be careful with that? Blood is hell to get out of white silk.”

  Rime sneered. “Well, little girl, maybe you should find a different table. One a little more tame.” The dragon’s words were straight off the script of a really bad action flick. He leaned close and looked me in the eye.

  On the occasions I’d been around disgruntled groups of dragons, I’d noticed they used eye contact as an attempt to intimidate potential challengers before the fight ever began. Often a simple look from the most dominant dragon would cause the younger and weaker to back off. Dragons might be violent, but for the most part they were smart.

  Good thing I wasn’t.

  I angled my head until my nose was bare inches from his snout and stared right back. “Just as an FYI, the whole stare-bear thing doesn’t really work on humans.”

  We stayed in that position for another moment before Rime grinned and shifted back on his perch. “Sometimes it does. Had to give it a shot.” The dragon eyed me with a measure of respect, until his expression turned speculative.

  He moved faster than I thought possible. Before I even had time to blink, Rime ran a forked tongue along the side of my neck. “Mmm, humans. They taste so good. Even better than pork I think. Especially when they’re young and juicy like you.”

  Okay, he’d found something that definitely did work on me. I stifled the scream and concentrated on staying perfectly still.

  Trian cursed and tried to get between me and the grinning dragon, but I stopped him with a sharp shake of my head. I’d had enough of this dragon. I had to be honest, the slightly wet and scratchy feel of a dragon’s tongue along my jugular went a whole lot further than a simple stare in making me rethink my career. But I couldn’t back down now. If I let Rime push me around here, I had no hope of earning his respect during our negotiation session.

  Hiding my shaking hands under the fold of my dress, I waited until Rime—and his tongue—settled back on his perch. He stuffed another mass of meat into his mouth and chewed, probably waiting for me to freak out.

  To be honest, so was I. I cleared my throat, a subtle attempt to ascertain whether I had a chance in hell of speaking in something other than a squeak. “Didn’t your mother teach you to chew with your mouth closed?”

  The dragon snarled, all trace of amusement gone. So Rime was a little touchy about his family. Good to know.

  A piece of flesh dropped from his mouth into my lap. I didn’t even attempt to dodge it. It wasn’t his fault I’d been stupid enough to wear a white dress. I waited patiently until he’d swallowed his food.

  “Funny, human. I killed my mother. Got tired of hearing her nagging.”

  Okay, enough was enough. I could feel the eyes of the entire room on our conversation, and if my goal was to look unruffled and in control, in another few minutes, I would fail miserably. I could still feel his tongue on my neck. And although I was handling the raw meat better than Carol, it wasn’t exactly fun.

  I needed to put Rime in his place. Or at the very least make him start treating me as something better than an evening’s entertainment. Pushing my plate away, I gathered my nerves and leaned closer to my table companion. “Gee, Rime, were you strung out on dragon’s draught at the time, or had she just run out of money to support your not-so-little habit?”

  I’d just come off a four-month assignment at DRACIM helping Relobu open a substance abuse center for dragon addictions. I’d seen plenty of Relobu’s subjects strung out on the opiate-laced drink to know Rime was in the early stages of an ugly downward spiral.

  The dragon stopped chewing, and his eyes narrowed. Because of his height, and his thick, snakelike neck, his head loomed over me. I had a perfect view of his razor-sharp teeth. Hearing a sound, I looked to the table, where Rime’s claws were boring a hole in the wood. I swallowed thickly and my heart rate shot through the roof.

  Now I had to pray my guess about where he got the money was correct. Dragon’s draught was ex
pensive, and based on the financial profiles Richard had run on all Hian-puo’s men, Rime wouldn’t be able to afford it without a large influx of cash from an outside source.

  It was a struggle to meet Rime’s eyes. “My sources tell me you’re quite the art enthusiast. Particularly the gorgeous set of glassworks on display at the Met. Funny, my records show you visited New York on official Hian-puo business only two month’s prior to the exhibit opening.” I tapped my chin thoughtfully and pretended to pass my gaze over the other dragons in the room, watching Rime from the corner of my eye. He’d stiffened on his perch, and his food lay untouched on the plate.

  Good. Maybe my crazy conspiracy theory had a grain of truth buried inside.

  Feeling more confident, I ran a finger along the dragon’s arm in a parody of his “kiss” earlier. I ignored the low growl from behind me as Trian reacted to my performance, and kept my voice light and teasing, as if Rime and me were having a friendly conversation instead of a blatant blackmail session. “I imagine Hian-puo would be interested to know exactly who decided his artwork would be better displayed in a museum than in his own home, hmm?”

  Rime’s scaled skin trembled slightly under my hand, and it occurred to me that this was the second time I’d seen a frightened dragon. Just like a human, his skin had paled considerably, and he seemed to be having trouble swallowing his food.

  During our preparations for the trip, Richard had mentioned Lord Hian-puo was a merciless leader. But he didn’t kill those who disobeyed him. At least not at first. The photo Richard obtained made it clear that Hian-puo tortured them before granting death. For Hian-puo, the process of dragging out the most pain before killing the victim was practically an art form.

  “You wouldn’t tell him.” It wasn’t a statement, it was a plea.

  “I’ve got copies of the receipts in my room.”

  If anything, Rime got even paler. I prayed he wouldn’t faint and fall off the perch. There was no way I could catch him.

  “Please. He’ll kill me. It was only this one time. I have a family.” His eyes were glassy and drool slid unnoticed down his neck. “Two dragonlings and a mate.”