They worked for a few hours together trimming the carcass. As their hands brushed against each other, jolts of excitement tore through her. She’d never touched another male in her life.
Axel rubbed his face, deciding he really didn’t want the rest of the details of the story. “So, you ended up sleeping with him.”
She nodded and held his hand. “Over the next few days, I pretended to go hunting, but instead, I went to his camp. We prepared the rest of the meat, then he kissed me, and one thing led to another. He came back through about the same time every year for about three years, then I never saw him again.”
“What happened to him?”
“I don’t know, Axel. I always wished I did, but soon, he just faded from my memories.”
“What about Benedict? Didn’t he wonder where the meat had come from?”
“Yes, he did, and I told him the truth about everything, except the fact that Jim had also taken my virginity.”
Axel brought his fingertip to her cheek and traced the side of her face down to her jaw. So beautiful, so soft. “I bet he wasn’t happy with you, being so overprotective.”
“No, he wasn’t. But I had to remind him that my actions helped keep us fed for the winter.”
She closed the space between them and slipped her arms around his waist. He brought his arm up and placed it over her shoulders. The pain in his chest intensified, but he knew it would be okay. He wouldn’t die. In fact, he had begun to revel in it, now that he understood what it meant.
“Now you know my secrets, tell me yours, Axel. Tell me what happened to you in your past that made you go into such a dark and awful place.”
His whole body tensed, and he fought the urge to run from the room. Eden deserved better than him, but at the same time, he knew he couldn’t let her go. Therefore, he needed to be honest and truthful with her if they were to try to make whatever this was between them work.
“It’s ugly, Eden.”
She turned her head up to look at him. “Axel, I’m sure it is. But maybe discussing it can help you move past it.”
Chapter 18
Eden sat on the bed, her hands clenched into fists in her lap, her whole body shaking with rage she could barely control. She’d given up trying to stop the tears, and she couldn’t contain the ache in her heart as she listened to Axel’s deep, calm voice describe what he’d been through as a child while she stared at the floor.
As he paced in front of her, she realized she’d never been one to wish death on anyone, because she believed what one put out into the universe, one received back. Therefore, she always tried to remain positive. Yet, she’d never been so happy to hear of someone dying as when Axel said his family had been killed in the war with the Miladrids. She hoped many of those awful creatures had perished, as well.
When he stopped talking, she looked up at him, and his face had morphed from the impassive mask he always wore into absolute horror.
“Why are you crying?” he asked as he got to his knees in front of her. “Please don’t cry. Oh, shit. Eden, I shouldn’t have told you. Please don’t—”
She gently placed her finger over his lips, silencing him. “Shhh. I’m fine, Axel. My tears are for you, for all that you’ve been through.”
He lowered his head and placed it on her lap. They sat in silence for a moment as she ran her fingers through his short hair.
When he finally spoke, his words came out in a whisper. “I don’t like that you’re crying for me.”
She sniffled, trying to calm the rage within her. As he kneeled in front of her, she knew that Axel had become very vulnerable. Not as exposed as he had been in the past, but probably more so than he had been recently. She also knew that he’d shared with her something no one knew. If others had been privy to his secrets, they would understand his demeanor and maybe have a little sympathy for him, instead of treating him as the house pariah.
“I cry because I care about you, Axel.”
He lifted his head. “Please, don’t tell anyone.”
His sincere and pleading gaze cut through her, and she promised herself she’d never give up the horrible secret he’d shared. She placed both her hands on his cheeks and smiled, imagining she was quite the mess with the snot dripping down her nose, but she couldn’t find it within herself to care. She’d never felt closer to another being as she did with Axel at this very moment. “Your secret is safe with me.”
He shook his head, and his lips turned up into a something like a small grin. “I never told anyone that, but you’re so different, Eden. You know me … you see me because of your gift.”
“I knew something was developing.”
“It was my feelings for you. I haven’t felt anything in so long, and then I saw you. It’s been building and growing …”
His voice trailed off as if he weren’t sure what the next words should be. However, the red and blue and orange danced around him, the flames signaling his love for her, his masculinity, and his courage.
“You don’t need to say anything else. I see it. I see what you’re feeling.”
He nodded. “Thank you.”
After a moment, he stood. “I don’t know how to have sex like a normal being. For me, it’s just been something that I needed to do. It hasn’t been about feelings; it’s been about the release.”
She got to her feet and took his hands. “We will get it figured out together. Not tonight, but at some point in the future, we’ll get it worked out.”
As he closed his eyes, he shook his head. “Eden, I just … I can’t have anyone on top of me. I can’t put myself in a submissive position.”
Of course he couldn’t. It made perfect sense to her, and she once again wrapped her arms around his waist and laid her head against his chest. His heart sounded like a herd of wild horses thundering by, and she understood what he’d done tonight. He’d let her in—something he’d never allowed before. He’d been so badly damaged by his past, he’d become almost dead inside. Yet, for some reason, she’d been the one to bring him out of the dark, horrible place he’d resided in for so long. She wouldn’t consider jeopardizing such a thing, and she would do whatever necessary to make things work between them.
“Like I said, Axel, we’ll get it all figured out. But for now, let’s go back to bed and sleep.”
Chapter 19
Axel woke the next morning to an empty bed. He rolled over and buried his face in the pillow Eden had used, inhaling her scent. It calmed him and warmed him and made him feel all gooey and gushy inside.
Last night had been a spectacular mess, but a liberating one. Releasing his secret had somehow cleansed him. Eden knew what he felt before he could even realize that an emotion ran through him. She understood him; she saw him for who he truly was, and he didn’t have to use words.
But, he’d work on that. He’d try to figure out this emotional stuff and put names to it. Eden would be able to help him.
As he recalled the conversation, his stomach clenched at the thought of having sex with her. He wanted to, but it scared him. Yes, he could identify fear without a problem. Sex with Eden would be an emotional thing, something he didn’t know if he could handle. He tried to imagine her on top of him, her weight, although not much of it, on his hips, holding him down. Yes, he’d be able to toss her across the room without much effort, but he’d never want to hurt her. He lurched to the side of the bed with the dry heaves, the thoughts making him sick to his stomach.
When certain he wouldn’t become ill, he rolled back over and grabbed her pillow, holding it close to his chest. Man, he’d fallen in deep in such a short period of time. Actually, that was wrong. This had been a long time coming, and Eden would never have known how he felt about her if she couldn’t see auras. In fact, if he really did a check in the self-honesty department, he knew that his love for Eden had been growing since the second he’d laid eyes on her, and even being threatened with death by an assassin with a pool cue couldn’t have stopped it.
He felt so
raw and vulnerable, yet, he fully trusted Eden with his secrets. Having always heard that trust was a foundation of a good relationship, his confidence in their future increased.
However, they still had one problem … Hudson. Well, actually two if he counted Benedict, but it seemed the male just followed what his dad deemed correct. Yes, Benedict had been protective of Eden his whole life, but now, Axel guessed he just wanted to please Hudson.
He and Eden had talked about it until late into the night, and she’d said it would be a good idea for them to keep their relationship under the radar until they felt strong together. He couldn’t argue with that. Although he was an SR44 male who had found his mate, their relationship felt as fragile as a newborn baby, and it seemed like anything could break it without much effort. When Hudson found out that Eden had chosen to be with the one person he didn’t want her to see, Axel felt pretty certain the situation would go nuclear and blood would spill. Two assassins, one an SR44 male who’d found his mate, the other an SR44 male protecting his doha … yeah, without a doubt, shit would get ugly.
He rose from his bed and checked his phone. A message lit up, indicating he would be needed in a meeting in three hours, and he decided he’d go for a run beforehand.
After dressing in some shorts and T-shirt, he pulled on his sneakers and headed up to the kitchen. When the elevator opened, the first thing he noticed was Eden standing at the kitchen sink, her back to him. No one else was around.
He stepped out and stood there for a moment, just staring. Her long, black hair hung in a thick curtain down her back, and he recalled how it had tickled his nose during the night, and how wonderful it smelled. She wore a pair of tight jeans that hugged her ass cheeks, and a white shirt. His desire for her flew off the charts, and he grabbed his groin to try to stifle the erection.
As if she sensed his presence, her body stiffened and she slowly turned around. When their gazes met, the ache in his chest gripped him and his knees weakened just a bit. He stared at the one person in the universe who understood him, who knew him.
She grinned and glanced down the hallway before stepping toward him. When they stood mere inches away, she lifted up to her tippy toes and placed a sweet kiss on his cheek as she squeezed his hand. “Good morning.”
“Hey.”
The way her dark gaze caressed his face with such tenderness made him feel as if he had become completely invincible. With her love, he could overcome anything, and that included the demons of his past.
“You sure are happy to see me.”
He glanced down at his shorts, hoping his erection wasn’t too noticeable, but then he realized she stared at the area around him.
“I am.”
“Well, I’m happy to see you, too.”
She looked over her shoulder down the hall, then placed her hand at the nape of his neck and pulled him down for a kiss.
He shuddered as their lips met, and he tasted coffee as her tongue prodded his mouth open. He liked this kissing stuff, and hoped he did an okay job at it.
Deep male voices sounded from down the hall, and Eden stepped away and moved back over to the sink. He took a deep breath and followed her over to the counter, then opened the cupboard and reached for a glass. As he filled it with water, Hudson and Noah walked in.
“I’m telling you, Hudson, I’ve got a bad feeling. Things have been quiet for too long.”
He kept his back to both of them, but he could feel Hudson’s stare.
“I know, Noah, but there’s nothing for us to do but wait it out and when it goes down, we’ll be ready.”
Noah walked over to the refrigerator and opened it. “How’s it going, Axel?”
He turned to the male. “Fine.”
After pulling out a soda, Noah eyed him for a moment, and Axel stared back. He realized he should probably inquire on Noah’s well-being. “How are you?”
Noah’s eyebrows arched and he grinned. “I’m good, man. Thanks for asking. Looks like you’re headed for a run.”
Axel nodded.
“Have a good one, then.”
Noah left, and Axel turned to put his glass in the dishwasher. Eden still stood at the sink loading it, her delicate hands dipping in and out of mounds of bubbles. Hudson stood with his arms crossed, his stare on Axel.
He might as well play nice. “Hey, Hudson.”
“Axel.”
His fingers brushed against Eden’s as he placed his glass in the dishwasher. She glanced up at him for a brief second, then went back to her dishes. Without another word, he went out the door to head for his run.
A shiver traveled down Eden’s spine, and she hoped Hudson couldn’t see her erect nipples through her shirt. The simple kiss with Axel had curled her toes, both literally and figuratively. Yes, they’d agreed to take things slow, but her desire to have his bare hands on her slammed through her like a freight train. It had been a long time since she’d been with a man, but from what she remembered, it could be a wonderful experience.
“How’s my little girl?” Hudson asked, stepping up next to her.
“I’m fine, Hudson. Can I pour you a cup of coffee?”
He shook his head. “No, baby, I’m fine.”
She glanced over at him and smiled.
“You look tired today, Eden. Didn’t you sleep well?”
She pulled the plug in the sink, the dishes completed. “I slept okay. I was just up early,” she said as she dried her hands. “I may lie down for a bit later on.”
He took her in his arms and she laid her head against his chest, wishing it was Axel that held her and not her father.
“Sleep is important, honey. Make sure you take care of yourself.”
Glancing up at him, she smiled. “I will.”
As Hudson left, she realized she’d rather spend her days in complete exhaustion than be without Axel’s company. She couldn’t wait until they could be alone again.
Chapter 20
After his meeting, Axel lightly tapped on Eden’s door, thinking it would probably be better if they gave each other their phone numbers rather than all this sneaking around and hoping no one caught them.
When she answered, a huge smile lit up her face, and damn, if that didn’t make his chest hurt like a fucker. Now that the pain had a label attached to it and he knew what caused it, he really enjoyed it. It felt so much better than the black pit of emptiness he’d held for so long.
“Come in!” she exclaimed, reaching for his hand.
He shook his head, knowing that if he entered her room, he’d never want to come out, and he had some things to do. “I just wanted to tell you that I need to go into Phoenix for a few hours today.”
Her face fell, the smile now gone.
Shit. He’d said something she didn’t like. “What’s wrong?”
Her brow furrowed, and her lips pursed together in a flat line as she crossed her arms over her chest. Yeah, he’d definitely said something she didn’t like. His heart thudded in his chest. He didn’t want to upset her or disappoint her.
“Eden?”
“Are you … it’s none of my business, but are you going to that club?”
He sighed in relief. “No. Come here.”
She stepped forward into his embrace and wrapped her arms around his waist. Closing his eyes, he never wanted to move again.
“Why is your heart pounding so loudly?” she asked.
“I was afraid I’d upset you.”
She glanced up at him. “By telling me you’re going to Phoenix?”
He nodded as he stroked the side of her head.
“I just remember you going to that club and what goes on there. I can’t stop you, but—”
“I’ll never go there again,” he interrupted her as he pulled her head against his chest again. “I don’t care if I ever have sex again. This right here is enough for me.”
And he realized he meant every word. Sex had been about relieving a basic need, but something far more important had overtaken that, and it was Eden
. As long as he continued to be able to hold her like this, he’d go through life just fine.
She squeezed him. “Then why are you going to the city?”
He didn’t want to tell her that he wanted his tattoo finished as soon as possible. He’d called Foster earlier and scheduled a few hours with him. He knew it would take a lot longer to complete the artwork than the time he had today, but Foster could make a good dent in it.
“I’m going to see a friend. He’s a male, and he’s doing something for me.”
“What?”
For a brief moment, he thought about telling her, but decided against it. He’d rather show her when it was completed. “You’ll see soon enough.”
She sighed and looked up at him with a pout. Those lips … those lips made him feel like he’d melt into a pile of goo at her feet when they met his.
With just a bit of hesitation, he leaned down and kissed her, unsure of the pressure he should use, or if, or when, he should slip his tongue into her mouth. After a moment, he quit thinking about if he executed the kiss correctly, and instead, just slipped into that blissful, lightheadedness that Eden brought him where nothing seemed to matter but getting closer to her.
She wrapped her arms around his neck with a sigh. He lifted her up and leaned her against the doorframe, placing his hands under her thighs to hold her in mid-air, her weight meaning nothing to him. No, he had no idea if he was doing any of this right, but now, he went on pure instinct.
As she ran her hands up and down his arms, he groaned. Her fingertips left small trails of fire over his skin, yet he shuddered as if chilled. He wished he had more hands because he would love to palm her breast, to take her nipple in his mouth. Would that make her moan in pleasure? He would certainly like to find out.
Behind him, the elevator began to hum, and it brought him out of his reverie and back to reality. Yes, he wanted Eden with ferocity, but this seemed just plain stupid. That damn elevator could land on her floor at any time, and he couldn’t be caught here—especially with Eden pinned up against the wall.
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