Controlling Krysta

by Lyla Sinclair

  Because of his practical nature, Mason usually objected to the restaurant on the grounds that a steak shouldn’t cost three hundred dollars and a baked potato certainly shouldn’t go for thirty.

  Maybe Mason had chosen the location to send a message that the topic they were about to discuss was of great importance to him.

  Inside, the maître d' led Dix to one of many small private dining areas. Mason was already sitting at the table, drinking a glass of water.

  Dix sat down. “What’s going on?” he asked with genuine concern.

  A waiter placed the bread and butter in the center of the white table cloth and walked away.

  “Can’t a person invite his little brother to lunch for the heck of it?”

  Shit. Here we go.

  Dix liked to lay a problem out on the table immediately and get it out of the way.

  Mason had to work his way up to any major revelation.

  “Sure.” Dix sighed. “Sure he can.”

  “So what kept you up all night? I thought you were hell bent on saving yourself for that little Yankee.”

  Dix chuckled, even though the thought of Tessa and her “boyfriend” stole his appetite.

  He decided that if he came clean with his situation, Mason was more likely to get to his news faster.

  “Yeah, I’m not sure if that’s going to work out like I’d hoped. I tried to call last night and her roommate said she was out with her boyfriend.”

  “Ouch…damn.”

  Dix could tell Mason was thinking murderous thoughts about Tessa. “In her defense, I did tell her to date other people while we were apart.”

  “Why the hell would you do something like that?” Mason grabbed the knife and carved up the bread.

  “I thought I had reasons at the time. Now…”

  “Now, you feel like a dumbass.”

  Dix shrugged and nodded.

  The waiter came back, spent way too much time telling them about “special offerings of the day,” and took their orders.

  Dix buttered a piece of bread he wasn’t sure he wanted. When he looked up, his brother’s eyes were challenging him.

  “So, what are you gonna do about it?”

  They’d said that same sentence to each other many times over the years, usually after one brother had done something to provoke the other and was itching for a fight.

  “I’m gonna go up there and pull out all the stops to get her back.”

  “You’ll do it,” Mason said confidently. “You’ve gotten every girl you ever wanted. Used to annoy the crap out of me.”

  “There were plenty of girls interested in you too. You didn’t want anything to do with most of them.”

  Mason had the reputation of being aloof—“stuck up”—as the girls called it back then.

  “It always seemed so easy for you to flirt with them and make small talk,” Mason said.

  “I never felt comfortable like that with a woman…until Jenn.”

  Good thing Dix was sitting. His brother had never admitted any fears or short-comings or discomfort to him—ever.

  “And Krysta,” Dix added.

  Mason tensed and pierced him with a shocked, angry stare. “How do you know?”

  “You treated her differently from the first day she walked in. You looked at her…” Dix let his voice trail off, unwilling to sound too girlie-romantic in his description.

  Mason’s shoulders dropped as his eyes wandered to his water glass.

  “Yeah, well, I don’t know if I’m ready.”

  Dix was surprised to feel tears pricking the backs of his eyeballs. If his brother missed this opportunity with Krysta, Dix didn’t know how much worse things would get.

  “Mase, you know you’ve crossed the line from ‘particular’ to ‘weird’ in the last couple of years. I think you’re turning into Howard Hughes.” Dix had said the last part half-jokingly.

  Mason didn’t acknowledge the joke. His gaze held a warning. However, it was so rare for them to talk openly about this kind of thing, Dix decided it was now or never.

  “I know you loved Jenn,” he said. “I loved her, too. She was like a sister to me.” He watched Mason’s eyes cloud over and realized he was blinking back tears.

  The last thing he wanted was to see his big brother cry. But Dix had to go after Tessa, and he needed to know Mason wouldn’t finish turning into a crazy hermit while he was gone.

  He smiled. “When I used to go over for dinner, Jenn had me laughing my ass off with her impressions of you grumbling around the house.”

  Mason rolled his eyes, but Dix saw the tear in the corner of one of them.

  “She was smart and perceptive and didn’t let you take yourself too seriously,” Dix said. “Made you laugh, too. I think you and Krysta could be like that.”

  Mason shook his head. “I don’t know.”

  “You’ll never forget Jenn. But it doesn’t mean you can’t care about somebody else.

  Jenn would want you happy.”

  “I don’t know if I have it in me.” Mason closed his eyes, tilted his head back and sighed. “Since everything happened, I feel really old…tired.”

  “Mase, you’re thirty-five. You’ve still got a lot of years left. Is this how you want to spend them?”

  Mason shook his head. “No, but she’s smart and beautiful, and I don’t know if I have anything she could want.”

  “By those standards, Jenn shouldn’t have wanted you either. I always thought she could have done better.”

  Mason laughed and Dix was happy he’d lightened him up a little. But now Mason needed a kick in the pants to get him going.

  “Mase, I can tell Krysta’s into you. But just because she wants to work with nut jobs in psych wards doesn’t mean she wants to go home to one. You need to find a way to get past this ‘touching thing’. And get rid of those damn creepy animals all over your office.

  Shit, looks like Jeffrey Dahmer’s medical school.”

  Mason burst out laughing as that lingering tear escaped from his eye. He dabbed it away quickly and continued to laugh for several seconds as the waiter came back and laid their plates in front of them.

  “Let’s eat,” he said.

  Dix felt a sense of relief. Maybe his brother would be okay after all.

  Chapter Five

  “Fuck, fuck, fuck…” I sat on the table in the copy room, banging the back of my head on the wall in time with my mantra.

  It was Friday, and, except for the encounter in Mason’s office on Monday, this week had sucked.

  Taking matters into my own hands, or mouth in this case, had been a mistake. God, I’d loved the intimate contact of Mason’s cock between my lips. But it must have been too much for him. He’d been all-business since.

  And for the past couple of days he’d been dealing with a bunch of workmen who were removing the dead animals from his office. I had no idea what brought that on, but it kept him busy and kept us from having time alone.

  Worse yet, yesterday afternoon and this morning, some slutty blonde decorator had shown up to monopolize his time. I hated her, even though she’d been perfectly nice.

  Kicking off my shoes, I dangled my feet off the table and relaxed against the wall. It reminded me of how I used to sit on the counter while my mom made me brownies, until my dad came in and told me to get down.

  A sigh escaped my lips. I wasn’t used to feeling lonely like this. I’d always thought growing up an only child had suited my personality.

  To me, one of the most enjoyable feelings had always been closing the door to my room—shutting out the world—and enjoying a nice book, or just my own thoughts.

  I stared at the closed copy room door. Unlike the door to my childhood room and the door to my apartment bedroom, this one wasn’t making me feel any better.

  Mason was outside that door, down the hall. Why was I spending so much time thinking about him? He wasn’t a man I could consider a long-term part of my life, even if he wanted it that way. On paper, there was no
thing he had that I needed.

  I didn’t want some rich guy who’d care more about his money than anything else in his life. As interesting as his mental state was—and as sympathetic as I was to the causes—I didn’t want someone this damaged.

  So what was I feeling? The discovery of sexual arousal to an extent I didn’t know was possible?

  Yes.

  The craving I felt when Mason’s voice took on that commanding tone?

  Most definitely.

  And what about that other sensation? The one that makes you want to pull him to you and kiss all the hurt of his past away?

  That was the dangerous one.

  So, it was actually a good thing that Mason was ignoring me. But it sure didn’t feel like a good thing.

  To make matters worse, Dixon hadn’t even been around to joke with me and make things less awkward in the office. He’d been MIA since Tuesday afternoon on a business trip to Asia, followed by some “personal time.” He didn’t say how long he’d be gone.

  “Krysta, please come.” I startled. Lust-tinged adrenaline shot through my body. I glanced around the copy room to see that I was still alone.

  Was I having auditory hallucinations, now?

  “Krysta?”

  Oh. I forgot I was still wearing the headset.

  I hated the way this system was set up. There was no tone warning me before one of the Maddox brothers talked into my ear.

  “Yes?” I tried to calm my over-excited body.

  “I’m in Dix’s office,” Mason said. “Could you come?”

  Wow, had aliens taken over his body? He’d phrased it as a request instead of a command.

  “Sure.” I got off the table and fumbled with my shoes.

  On the way, I passed the decorator in the hall. She was shaking her head and frowning as the workmen carried in more paintings of horses and cowboys, apparently to replace the dead animals.

  When I stepped inside Dix’s office, I closed the door behind me.

  Mason had been standing at the wall of windows behind Dixon’s desk and turned when I walked in.

  “Whose view do you think is better,” he asked. “Mine or Dix’s?”

  His poker face held, but I thought I detected a tiny gleam in his eye. Was he teasing me?

  “They’re almost exactly the same. Your offices are right next to each other.”

  He gave me a wry look, like that was the wrong answer. I thought about their extreme sibling rivalry.

  “Oh, I mean yours,” I gushed ridiculously. “Yours is much better. I’ve noticed his view has a tendency to attract smog.”

  A chuckle came from deep in his gut, cut short as if he didn’t want to let it out completely. But he couldn’t stop the smile that spread across his face.

  I nearly fainted. With this expression, he was every bit as charming as his brother.

  Even more so to me because I knew it was hard to get this out of him, and I’d gotten it.

  He tried to reassemble his serious expression and pretend to be annoyed that I’d mocked him, but I was onto him now. And I wanted more of that smile.

  He glanced around Dix’s office. “I guess you’ve noticed I’m having my office redecorated,” Mason said. “I’m always a little embarrassed of this one. My brother’s taste runs a little on the sissy side, don’t you think?”

  I glanced around at the comfortable, masculine furnishings. It said, “strong, confident, casual.” Perfect for Dixon.

  “I think the main difference between the two offices is that Dix listens to his decorator, and you don’t.”

  I must have loosened him up the first time because I was treated to a full-throated laugh from Mason and that gorgeous smile again. His dark eyes shone with warmth.

  I could feel my internal organs melting.

  God help me, I could spend my life waiting for the next smile, trying to make it happen again and again.

  This was the man Jennifer fell in love with all those years ago. Before the Alzheimer’s and the fire and the accident.

  On some level, I had known he was there all along. I’d been drawn to him. But I’d avoided asking too many questions, afraid of getting too involved. I’d convinced myself I’d be satisfied by the kinky sex and that would be the end of it.

  Or maybe I hadn’t really convinced myself of anything.

  “Would you come sit over here with me?” He was so polite compared to regular Mason.

  “Okay.” I followed him to the L-shaped sitting area in the corner of Dix’s office. He sat in the chair while I took the end of the couch closest to him.

  His back was straight. His hands rested on his knees. Why was he so tense? I wished I could think of a way to bring back the levity of a few minutes before.

  He cleared his throat, but still didn’t say anything.

  Was he planning to fire me? Fuck, I needed this job.

  “Am I fired?” I blurted out. Subtlety was never my strong suit.

  “Fired?” Mason leaned forward, a bewildered expression on his face. “Why would you be fired?”

  “I, well…” I didn’t want to say it was because I’d given him an involuntary blowjob.

  “Krysta…I have an interest in you beyond…” He paused as though he couldn’t find the right words.

  An “interest” in me. Sounded like I was a real estate deal. Was he trying to be romantic?

  This conversation reminded me that he couldn’t give me what I wanted, despite all the organ-melting that went on a few minutes before.

  Two smiles don’t make a real relationship.

  “I’d like for us to…”

  I couldn’t let him go on. I had to be honest.

  “Mason, I’m attracted to you. I mean really, really attracted to you, but I need intimacy, actual touching. The kind where you reach out and take my hand, not the kind where I feel like I’m molesting you against your will.” There, it was all out on the table now.

  “Please hear me out,” he said. He still didn’t reach out and take my hand. “I haven’t felt this way about a woman since…” His eyes drifted off for a moment and I knew he was thinking of his wife. “I haven’t felt this way in a long time.”

  “But—”

  “You met me at a low point in my life,” he interrupted. “But having you around has made me look to the future again.”

  “I don’t know if that’s enough, Mason.”

  “My daddy always said, ‘Nothing good comes easy.’” Then he shook his head and smiled. “Of course, he’s in South America partying it up with easy women, so maybe he’s not the best role model.”

  I didn’t know what to say to that. Rich guy, damaged by life, bad father…He wasn’t making his case any more appealing to a woman with years of psychology classes under her belt.

  A part of me really wished he could find a way to talk me into whatever it was he wanted to talk me into.

  However, no matter how much I wanted Mason, he couldn’t possibly be right for me.

  “It’s Friday,” he said. “Come to the ranch with me for the weekend. It may take a while to get exactly where I’d like to be with the touching, but we’ll never know if there’s something here if we don’t give it a try.”

  “Okay.” Did I just say that? What happened to all my objections? "But I’ll drive my own car out there,” I added, to make me feel I hadn’t lost control of my mind completely.

  “Really? You’ll come?” The hopeful, boyish expression on his face made my heart skip a beat. Suddenly, he was adorable, on top of everything else.

  When I left Mason’s office a few moments later, I knew exactly why Jennifer Maddox had fallen for this man. And that I had no business going to his ranch.

  Chapter Six

  “This is the pasture,” Mason said. He pointed to an endless grassy area in front of us.

  A few yards away, past the barbed-wire fence, cows grazed, happily unaware that there was anything in the world more important than the grass beneath their feet.

  I, on the other
hand, was a wreck. Why had I agreed to come out here, even after knowing this could be more than an attraction with Mason?

  He was absolutely, positively not what I needed in my life. A man who was racked with guilt over his mother’s death and broken-hearted over his wife’s was too damaged for me to deal with right now. Maybe ever.

  And he was likely to be selfish and superior, since he was born wealthy.

  I wasn’t sure those were the scariest aspects of the situation. I kept thinking about how Mason had brought my odd sexual proclivities to the surface. The ones I’d known were there, on some level, all along, but thought I would never face.

  Before I’d gotten there, he’d changed into a pair of jeans—crisp ones that fit him perfectly, of course—and a black western shirt.

  The black cowboy hat was a different one than he wore to the office. I kept trying to decide if the hat made him more handsome or more menacing. Either way, it was hot.

  I stared at his profile. A thick cord of electric energy surged from my chest down to my toes. I imagined him ordering me to grab a fence post while he punished my naked bottom with a horsewhip.

  Shit. I didn’t want to encourage these tendencies in myself, did I? After getting out of that Brandt situation with at least most of my dignity intact, why would I allow myself to be dominated by a man in any way?

  I didn’t want to feel weak or powerless…normally. Why did I find it so irresistible to submit to Mason’s commands?

  I realized I hadn’t said anything for a couple of minutes.

  I glanced around. “Nice barn.” In fact, it was the largest, most beautiful barn I’d ever seen, not that I spent a lot of time in barns.

  The exterior was sage green with decorative brown slats and giant brown doors. The place was so lovely, it could almost pass for a house.

  “Barn’s back there.” He pointed to the back of the building I’d gestured toward. “You can’t see it from here. Those are the stables…where the horses sleep.”

  “Wow, can I rent a stall?”

  He chuckled, then his gaze travelled back toward the pasture. “When I was a kid, I never thought I’d live on a ranch when I grew up.”