Worth Dying For

by Luxie Ryder

  “You can’t hold yourself responsible for the actions of others. Neither Mary nor Isabella died because of you. They died because of Katerina.”

  Bane stared at her, as if weighing her words before deciding how to respond. “Yet you blame yourself for Tom’s death.”

  Several emotions hit her like a blow to the chest. Curiosity over how he knew about Tom at all stopped anything too painful getting a hold of her. “So you were you listening to David and me?”

  Bane nodded, pointing to his ears with an apologetic grimace. “Forgive me. It’s not as if I can choose what I hear.”

  Still in shock and stunned by Bane’s statement, Amber couldn’t express the anger boiling in the pit of her stomach. The abuse she wanted to hurl at him churned in her mind but she couldn’t make it come out of her mouth. He reached out a hand towards her but she ignored it, struggling to regain control. She couldn’t discuss Tom—not now, not ever—and especially not with Bane. Amber didn’t want to talk about it ever again.

  Bane let her off the hook when he gave up waiting for her to tell him more and finished his story. “Katerina hates me because she thought I would come back to her once she removed my ‘distraction’, as she called it. But I walked away from her then and have refused her advances ever since.”

  Grateful to be back on a topic she could handle, Amber grasped at the chance to keep his mind on his own story and off hers. “So how long ago was this?”

  “About a hundred and fifty years ago.”

  “And she’s still pissed?” Amber laughed at the thought. She’d met some bitter women in her time but surely nobody could stay angry for so long, not even an immortal.

  Bane didn’t seem to find the humour. “She hasn’t allowed me to have a meaningful relationship since that day. I travelled the world trying to escape her clutches but wherever I went, she would know what I was doing and who I was with, and within a very short time the woman would be dead.”

  “Fuck,” she said, taking a perverse pleasure in the disapproving glare she got every time she swore. “If she’s still that bitter and angry, why hasn’t she had you killed?”

  “Because she still loves me and hopes I will return one day. It doesn’t matter to her how long it takes. She has nothing but time.”

  Nothing but time.

  Amber tried to imagine what it would be like if someone had the power to make her so lonely and afraid of loving anybody else until the day she died. But it wasn’t too hard. She knew exactly how it felt. Wasn’t it what Tom had done to her?

  Bane disturbed her train of thought by getting to his feet and stretching his massive arms above his head. Her gaze wandered over him. She was too amazed by the sheer size of the man to worry that he might think she was checking him out. But when her attention slid down to his groin, she caught herself wondering if everything on him was larger than normal. He turned away and she busied herself with picking some imaginary lint off her jeans rather than meet his gaze. Had he caught her looking?

  His wry laugh shattered the heavy silence between them. “The sun is about to come up and I need to sleep.”

  “You sleep?”

  He ignored her, pointing to the entertainment centre and the huge array of books adorning the wall of the cave. “There’s plenty here to keep you occupied.”

  “But what if someone comes?”

  He walked away, peeling his T-shirt over his shoulders. “Amber, I’ll hear them long before you. Don’t worry. I won’t sleep for long.”

  She watched the play of muscles across his back until he disappeared from view. So what? The guy was attractive. That didn’t mean she wanted him or had forgiven him for what he’d done—no matter how good his intentions.

  She stayed on the sofa for an hour or so after his departure, thinking over what he had said. Amber stifled the giggles threatening to erupt from her every few minutes, putting them down to hysteria. Jesus, who wouldn’t be hysterical after the weekend she’d had? The silence buzzed loud in her ears, making the sound of her heart beat the only thing she could hear in the vast, empty cavern.

  But he’s a fucking vampire!

  The thought raced across her mind again and this time she couldn’t stop the laughter. Muffling her mouth with her arm, Amber laughed…until she cried. Hot tears coursed down her cheeks and she let them flow freely, her sobs echoing through the emptiness.

  The next emotion to assault her was anger. Amber scrubbed away her tears with a clenched fist. The urge to storm in to where he slept and scream at him almost overwhelmed her. She wanted to beat the crap out of him. She hadn’t asked for his help and now her life was a total fucking mess because he hadn’t wanted people on his shitty little island. Who the fuck did he think he was? And what was with him complaining about her swearing all the time? He could fuck off—and she would tell him so as soon as he woke.

  Her fury gave way to a sense of defeat. Even if she survived the nightmare that her life had become, there was every chance she would be charged with David’s murder. And she still didn’t know what Bane’s wife had to do with her and his reason for saving her.

  Amber’s head started to throb from turning the events of the last few days over and over in her mind, and the need for a distraction sent her to the bookcase. Every classic she had ever heard of sat on the shelves. All of the books were well worn and looked to have been read many times. Some were even first editions. Amber whistled under her breath as she took a rough guess at how much a collection like this one would be worth—certainly enough for her to never have to work again.

  She craned her neck, trying to see the upper shelves. A set of steps would have been useful but obviously Bane had no need of them and, in his defence, he probably wasn’t expecting company.

  A large book on the lower shelf caught her eye and she pulled it away from the others. The huge bound volume took both hands to lift and she struggled over to the sofa with it, getting settled with her knees bent and her feet up on the seat before propping the book on her legs. Amber smoothed a hand over the cover, enjoying a moment of anticipation, unsure what she would find beyond the intriguing leather binding. Inside, the first page contained a beautiful and intricate drawing of the Bane family tree. The timeline came to an abrupt halt with Malachi and Mary Bane. He had been an only child and fathered no children. Neither of their deaths was recorded. She wondered at how he came to have the book. Had he returned to his family home?

  She scanned through the pages, finding records of the births, deaths or marriages in the Bane family history, dating back as far as the Mayflower.

  “They were rich,” she whispered, impressed by page after page of entries recording the family’s assets and details of the cost of building their ancestral home in England. The final records were of the purchase of the land and plantation his father had named Eden.

  She closed the book and rested her head on the back of the chair, shutting her eyes—just for a moment—and considered what Bane had lost.

  Why hadn’t he gone back to Georgia to live—and had he ever managed to bury his poor wife?

  Chapter Eight

  Bane leapt from the bed, ripped from his slumber by a sudden scream. Had he missed the sound of someone approaching? Reaching the living area before Amber had time to call out again, he found her safe and well but rigid with terror.

  “What the hell was that?”

  She stared at him without answering and he reached to give her shoulder a gentle shake, relieved when she didn’t instinctively pull away from him.

  “Amber,” he said, trying to bring her back from the nightmare she appeared to be stuck in. She blinked twice then looked up at him, awake at last.

  “What’s wrong?” she asked with a tremble in her voice, as if confused and afraid to find him standing over her. Her gaze flicked down to his torso and he was glad he had the foresight to sleep in his jeans—or he would have been naked before her.

  “You must have been dreaming. You screamed and I came to see what was wrong.”r />
  She rubbed at her eyes. “Oh.”

  Bane looked up the book on her lap. He could guess what had caused her nightmares. “I shouldn’t have told you about what happened to me. I scared you.”

  She shook her head. “No…it wasn’t you. I dreamt about David.”

  Bane fell silent. Amber would tell him if she wanted him to know, and he wasn’t about to make the mistake again of pushing her into talking. When she slid along to make room for him beside her on the sofa, he expected her to share her dream. Instead, she fell silent. Bane lifted the book from her lap and placed it on the floor.

  “Find anything interesting?” he asked, gesturing towards the discarded volume and hoping to take the wary look out of her eyes. She had every reason to be afraid of him based on what she’d seen and heard, but he wished she wouldn’t be. He’d heard her laughter and tears after he’d gone to bed. Bane had not gone to comfort her, how could he? He was the one responsible for her torment.

  “You had a good life,” she stated, as if she’d just made her mind up about it.

  He nodded. “I was luckier than most. Born into money and a pampered childhood followed by a privileged life.”

  “Did you ever live at Eden again?”

  Eden. Just hearing the name spoken out loud for the first time in centuries caused an almost painful reaction. The word no longer meant paradise to him. Now it represented nothing but a dream he’d once had in his grasp—and lost.

  “No. I passed by that way one time and my curiosity got the better of me. The house and lands had long since been claimed by a distant relative. I broke in and stole the book you were reading.”

  Amber’s stomach growled, loud enough for both of them to hear. Her face turned pink and she stared at him so intently to see if he had noticed that he couldn’t pretend he hadn’t. Bane smiled and went to retrieve the bag of supplies, glad to end a conversation he couldn’t bear to continue.

  “That’s not going to last,” he said, emptying the contents out onto the sofa beside her.

  Amber grabbed a candy bar and some chips. “How much food am I actually going to need? It’s not like you are going to be able to keep me alive for much longer.” She said the words matter-of-factly, as if only a fool would expect any other outcome, but her shoulders slumped in defeat.

  “Don’t say that,” Bane roared, enraged by her lack of faith in him. “Don’t ever give up. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

  She dropped her food in shock when he shouted, and her eyes filled with tears. He’d managed to scare her again. Could he do nothing right?

  “I’m sorry, Amber. I didn’t mean to frighten you. I just want a chance to undo the damage I’ve done, and I need you to stay strong.”

  “But it’s hopeless,” she cried. “All you are doing is delaying the inevitable. You said Katerina wouldn’t stop until I was dead.”

  He sat beside her, biting his tongue to keep from reacting to her words. The prospect of her death made him want to break something but it wouldn’t help either of them to frighten her by losing control.

  “I do have a plan—of sorts. I’m hoping Katerina has realised by now that there are very few who could go through me to get to you. In fact, I know only of one other. Solomon is the closest thing I have to a friend and I’m banking on the idea that Ulrich won’t allow Katerina to pit his two greatest soldiers against each other.”

  As usual, she picked up on the smallest detail. “You are a soldier?”

  “I am part of an elite guard. I no longer protect Ulrich personally but he uses a couple of us for special jobs from time to time.”

  “And Solomon is the one we need to worry about?”

  Bane sighed. “You don’t need to worry about him. If he ever gets close enough to give you reason to worry, then I would have failed.”

  “But he wouldn’t kill you, right?” Her wide eyed innocence almost made him smile. “He’s your friend.”

  “Solomon does as he is told. He isn’t like me. He loves what he is—relishes it, in fact. If Katerina or Ulrich issue an order, Solomon carries it out, no question.”

  “No!” Amber jumped to her feet, spilling the contents of her lap onto the floor.

  Bane went to her, intent on calming her down. “I won’t let him get to you. I would die first.”

  “But I don’t want you to. Don’t you get it?”

  She screamed in anguish and balled up her small fists, thumping them into his chest. He grabbed her hands, concerned she’d hurt herself far more than she could ever hope to hurt him. Amber struggled until she realised she couldn’t wriggle out of his grip. Fresh tears came and she slumped against him.

  Bane let go of her arms but she didn’t move from him. She stayed close, head bowed before him, crying freely. When he turned away to retake his seat, she reached out and grabbed his hand. Bane looked down at the slender fingers clutching at his and felt as if his dead heart had cracked in two.

  “I’m so sorry, Amber. I would give my life to put this right.”

  She pushed at his chest, turning to walk away from him and raising her hands as if to reject what he had said.

  “Please stop saying that. I’m not worth the sacrifice. Three people are already dead and if you continue to fight this hopeless battle, you will be too. I can’t let another man die because of me.”

  “Two of those ‘people’ were already dead. Vampires, remember?” His bluntness shocked her but he didn’t care. Amber needed a wakeup call if she thought herself responsible for anything that had happened. “And David? Cry no tears for him. Did you forget he left you for dead to save his own skin?”

  “But if you weren’t trying to protect me, you—”

  “—would be fighting anyway. This is about me as much as you. I decided to get involved and now I am living with the consequences. My only regret is that you are at risk too. I am a man who fights for something I believe in. The reason it hasn’t happened before now is because I have never cared about anything enough to defend it.”

  “But you don’t care about me, Bane. You don’t even know me.” Amber rubbed her forehead as if trying to smooth out her bewildered frown. “You never did tell me why you saved me.”

  Her natural curiosity replaced her fear as it had before and Bane didn’t hesitate to answer, happier to be on calmer ground. “You remind me of Mary.”

  “Me?” Her voice came out as a squeak, and that, coupled with the way she pointed at her own chest, made him smile. “Do I look like her?”

  “Very much so.” He dropped his gaze, his emotions too raw at thoughts of his wife to be able to endure the compassion in Amber’s eyes. But her prolonged and unusual silence made him look up at her eventually. “What are you crying for now?”

  “So much has been taken from you.” Amber seemed truly sorry for him. Bane wondered where her sanity and sense of self-preservation had gone. How could anyone have sympathy for somebody who had destroyed their life the way he had hers? Realisation dawned. It wasn’t just him she cried for. She was crying for herself too, for her own loss. He reached out a hand and guided her back to the sofa, encouraging her to sit before joining her.

  He placed the discarded food in her hands. “I insist you eat something.”

  “What about you? Don’t you get…what do you call it?”

  Bane smiled. “Hungry is as good a word as any. Yes, but I will hunt later.”

  She ate at last, but chewed slowly and swallowed loudly, blushing again when she caught him watching.

  Bane decided to give her a minute to herself. “I just need to check something outside. Finish your food and then summon me if you want to come out for some fresh air.”

  “Can you? Go outside, I mean. Isn’t it still daylight?”

  “Enough questions, woman. Eat.”

  The small smile she tried to hide at his words made it easier to leave her alone. Bane suspected she wouldn’t have let him get away with telling her what to do under normal circumstances.

  To occupy
himself while she finished eating, he checked the area outside the mouth of the cave. Bane trusted his ability to smell, see or hear if anyone even approached the island, never mind made it so far inland. Still, he moved to the edge of the tree line, careful to keep to the shade as he scanned the horizon towards the mainland. Miles of ocean stretched out in front of him with nothing to break the glassy expanse of crystal blue water except for a few light vessels bobbing in the distance.

  Amber’s voice weaved through the trees to him and he ran back to the opening, finding her waiting below.

  “Wait a moment longer, I have an idea.” Bane looked around and selected a young tree. He uprooted the sapling and stripped the leaves and smaller branches from it, leaving the stronger, evenly spaced ones attached to the trunk.

  “Step away from the entrance,” he warned, lowering the tree into the cave and resting the top against the entrance. “Can you use this as a ladder?”

  “Yes, I think so. I’m coming up.”

  Bane watched as she climbed, her lower lip held between her teeth and a small frown creasing her forehead as she concentrated on finding the next hand hold. She emerged into the daylight after a few minutes, flushed and triumphant.

  Amber paused to catch her breath and turned to him. “Why did you do that?”

  He shrugged. “I didn’t want you to feel you had to rely on me for everything, or needed my permission to go outside.”

  “But I still can’t leave the island?”

  Why in tarnation was she angry again? He’d known the woman for a couple of days and the only thing he had learnt about her was that he never knew what to expect. “Of course you can leave…if you want to die.”

  The set of her jaw should have warned him she had a slender grip on her temper. “Why should I believe you? I only have your word on anything. For all I know, you could be some sick fucking psycho and a far greater threat to me than anything out there.”

  Bane planned to simply walk away and leave her to her tantrum but found he could not. He grabbed her arms and pulled her round to face him. “Have you lost the last of your sense? Did you not see the two assassins I destroyed to save you?”