Worth Dying For

by Luxie Ryder

  Amber crawled onto his lap, the place she always chose to sit when she needed to ensure his attention stayed on her face. “I don’t regret a thing. I would never have thought it possible that I could feel so complete, so whole. I love you so much and my only concern is that, when we finally do die, you won’t be with me anymore.” Her eyes darkened to a stormy green and he knew she would be crying if she were able.

  “Do you know what I did when I changed you that night? I lay beside you and prayed to God that He would let me keep you with me.

  “How could I doubt Him, when He gave me what I prayed for? I’ve done many things in my life I regret but when God let me have you, I knew I had been granted absolution.” Bane kissed her then in silent thanks and vowed she would never have to worry for his soul again.

  But the hereafter wasn’t the only thing on Amber’s mind. She wanted to see her mother.

  “I would never hurt my mom,” she protested, railing at Bane for insisting that it was too soon to risk a visit.

  “Don’t you want to be certain before you put the only human you care about in danger?”

  A few things about Amber had changed recently but she was still as stubborn as ever. Her chin lifted and she fixed him with a piercing gaze. “If you can resist their blood, so can I.”

  “Trust me on this. It took me a long time to learn this kind of self control. True, I didn’t love anyone the way you love your mother, but Amber, what if you are wrong?”

  Her green eyes narrowed in challenge. “What if you are wrong?”

  Bane had hoped to protect her from the reality of living as a vampire for a little longer but now, she was pushing at her limits and words could only do so much. He had to show her what he meant. He took her to the mainland, careful to select an isolated spot in which to prove his point.

  As he had expected, the first hiker came within hunting range almost immediately. Even if Bane had not seen him before Amber, her reaction to the scent would have told him someone was close. A growl rumbled through her, and he tightened his grip on her arm. It hurt him to know he would have to let her fail the coming test but she needed to know for herself how hard resisting would be.

  The hiker moved closer, still more than a mile away, but near enough that he would have no hope of survival if either Bane or Amber decided to strike.

  Amber started to pull against his restraint, her nails clawing at his arm as she tried to break free. She turned to him, fury in her eyes, as if she couldn’t understand why he would deprive her of something she so desperately wanted.

  Her hunger awakened his. He knew the blood pumping millimetres below the skin of the young man in their sights, smelt as sweet to her as it did to him. If he kept his promise to her, Amber would never have to know that the taste of it excelled anything she could imagine—and that she would crave it for the rest of her existence.

  “Let me go. Get the fuck off me, Bane.”

  She fought harder, forcing Bane to lie on top of her to stop her from escaping. Amber screamed in rage when he pinned her arms above her head.

  He tried to calm her, telling her to simply experience the want and feel the bloodlust, so she would learn from it and remember how intense it could get, but he doubted she heard him. As her feral cries got loud enough for the hiker to hear, Bane had to say the one thing he’d hoped not to.

  “Amber. Listen to me. What if that human was your mother?”

  She stopped struggling and stared at him in horror as his words sank in. Her eyes closed and she lay rigid beneath him, her fist clenched at her sides.

  “I’m sorry…you had to see for yourself.” Bane wanted to comfort her but didn’t know how. He’d tried to warn her but she had not listened to him.

  “Malachi, get me out of here. Now!”

  He knew that even redirecting enough energy to whisper her plea took every bit of self control she had. Bane picked her up and ran, doubt gnawing at his gut as he wondered if now was the time that Amber would regret her decision and hate him for what he had done to her. She didn’t speak or look at him again, not even as they swam back to the island, and she went to bed as soon as they reached the cave.

  He gave her room to think, sure that when she got over her shock, Amber would blame him for not trying hard enough to talk her out of wanting to be with him.

  Bane realised he had fallen asleep on the sofa when she woke him sometime later. He regarded her warily, trying to assess her mood. Amber answered the question for him when she climbed on top of him and rested her head on his chest.

  “Sorry,” she mumbled into his shirt.

  “It’s me who should apologise. You have every right to be angry.”

  “I’m not angry, just sad. I thought it would be easier for me. I’m not gonna be able to see her for a while, am I?”

  “No, but we can work on it. One thing you have that I didn’t is someone who knows exactly what you are going through and how best to fight it.”

  She let the subject drop then, determined it seemed to ensure he had no doubt she still loved and wanted him. But in the days following her discovery, he could feel her sadness. Bane tried all he could to lift her spirits, but to no avail. One day about a week later, when Amber seemed to be going stir crazy in the cave, he reminded her that they could go anywhere she had ever wanted to. Her enthusiastic reaction to his suggestion told him he’d hit on the right course of action and they left that night.

  * * * *

  They travelled non-stop for the next few months as Bane showed Amber things she never knew existed. Without the restriction of being human, she saw the world and its wonders from a unique perspective. Standing on top of the ancient pyramids seemed to be the most exciting thing she had ever done, until Bane showed her how to dive from Angel Falls. She claimed that topped her list of favourite things ever until they reached Australia and together they swam the entire length of the Great Barrier Reef.

  In the many months they spent on their travels, Bane ensured Amber had regular but limited exposure to the humans they encountered. She learnt to resist the urge for their blood—after evading Bane’s clutches and getting almost close enough to kill a couple of them—and soon she felt strong enough to risk going home. Bane knew she was ready.

  Their journey back to America took them through Europe, close enough to pass through Vechea if they had wished. But Bane had no desire to expose Amber to the horror contained within its walls. Ulrich would send for them when he was ready.

  * * * *

  “Mom, why are you cooking so much food?”

  Amber smiled as she issued the gentle reminder, so thrilled to have Dorothy in the middle of the brand-new kitchen of her home that she didn’t want to ruin things by making her mother feel silly.

  Dorothy blushed. “Oh that’s right. For some reason God alone knows, you two won’t eat.” Amber moved to stand beside her. “You look strong enough on it though, whatever it is you live on.”

  “That’s one of those ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ topics we agreed never to discuss, remember?”

  Her mother nodded though her face lit with curiosity. Amber could almost see the questions on her mom’s lips and steeled herself to side-step them one more time. But then Dorothy relaxed, shrugging her shoulders as she smiled.

  “I know, I know. I’m just glad you found a way to include me in your life. Although you do know I can keep a secret.”

  Amber hugged her gently, smiling at the hopeful light in her eyes. “And if that was the only reason I couldn’t tell you more, then I wouldn’t hesitate. This is for the best, okay?”

  “What a waste of food,” Dorothy sighed, letting the subject drop.

  “Malachi can take it down to the shelter later tonight.”

  Dorothy nodded. “Anyway, where is that giant man of yours?”

  Amber jerked her head upwards, indicating the direction he would be found. “Fixing the roof.”

  “In this weather? It’s pouring rain.”

  “It doesn’t bother him.
He doesn’t mind getting wet—and he’s got a flashlight.” She added the last bit for good measure before Dorothy mentioned it was dark outside.

  Bane hadn’t stopped working on the house since they’d found it. After much debate, they had finally agreed to move back to Savannah. Amber assumed at first that he missed living at Eden because it made him feel closer to Mary. But when she told him, he got angry, asking her if she would want to return to a place where her life had been ripped from her and everything she loved had been destroyed.

  It turned out Bane missed the area rather than that specific house, so they had looked for another. In the centuries that had passed since he’d last owned property in Georgia, much had changed. Plantation houses and their grounds such as Eden were on the National Register of Historic Places these days, but eventually they found a derelict raised cottage in a rundown area surrounded by acres of land.

  Amber had turned up her nose until she saw the excitement on Malachi’s face. He’d fallen in love with the property from the moment they had crested the brow of the hill behind it. So she’d insisted they buy it, reassuring Bane that as long as he made it a home for her, she would love it as much as he—and she did.

  They had moved in straightaway, happy to sleep in the ground floor store rooms until the body of the house was ready. The cost of renovations would have been prohibitively expensive for someone who did not grow up in the era Bane had. His house building skills had not been lost over the years, and he used much of the wood from the trees on their land to do the repairs.

  He’d given Amber the kitchen she had insisted on although he thought her crazy for wanting one. She had reminded him that they may want to move on one day and the house needed to be marketable. But he’d seen through her excuse, knowing that she really just wanted her dream home, and told her she could have anything she desired.

  Amber smiled as she heard Bane cussing from the roof. She distracted her mom by picking up the bathroom brochures she’d asked her to get in preparation for her first visit. Malachi would be thrilled when he saw what she was going to ask him for next.

  “Can you afford this?” Her mom gestured to the luxurious suites and waterfall showers pictured within the glossy pages. Amber nodded. “You’re a very lucky girl. All he wants is to make you happy.”

  “I know, and he does. Not with things like this, just by being him. Sometimes I feel really inadequate. All I can give him is me.”

  “Heavens girl, don’t say such things. I’ve never seen a man so in love. Don’t you know you’re all he wants?”

  One more time, Amber said a silent prayer of thanks she still had her mom in her life. Things had been touch and go for a while. The first phone call had been difficult. Dorothy had questioned her over and over, unwilling to accept she would never get the answers that would explain the changes in Amber’s appearance. Finally, she’d acquiesced and begged her daughter to come home for a visit.

  When Amber and Bane had walked into Dorothy’s home that first time, her eyes had bugged as she took in the metamorphosis Amber had gone through. Her mom managed to hold her tongue for all of an hour before the questions started anew—why had she grown so much, what had happened to her eyes, why was Bane so big, had she done something to her hair, why wouldn’t they eat the food she’d offered, why hadn’t they come by car—and so it went on.

  Bane had made himself scarce when things got heated between mother and daughter. But Amber managed to calm things a little by explaining that there were good reasons Dorothy could never have the answers she needed. When it had looked as if her mom would not back down, Amber warned her if Dorothy was going to get this upset every time they visited, they would not be able to come again, as much as it would hurt to stay away. By the time Bane came back into the house, an uneasy truce had been reached. Amber built on their shaky start the following day by talking Bane into attending Sunday Mass with her and Dorothy. Her mother had been very happy. Amber had to confess to him later that the sight of him with his head bowed in prayer had made her ridiculously happy too.

  Amber tore her attention away from the brochure, and its pictures of beautiful bathrooms in tumbled marble tiles with gleaming chrome fittings, when she heard Bane entering the house. “Here he is now,” she said, giving her mom warning of his near silent approach.

  Malachi’s dark hair dripped with rain but he seemed exhilarated by it. The brilliant smile he gave Amber almost distracted her from the sight of his chiselled body, clearly visible through the T-shirt plastered to his hard torso. She allowed her eyes to roam over him, forgetting for a moment that her mother sat beside her. When her gaze reluctantly returned to his face, Bane winked at her as he read the message in her eyes—and then Dorothy cleared her throat.

  “You’re going to catch your death out there, my boy. Here, let me get you a towel.”

  Amber’s mom bustled from the room giving them just enough time to rush to each other in her absence. Bane grunted as she leapt into his arms and wrapped her long legs around his waist. His hands went to the back of her head and he held her still to drag his lips across hers. Amber groaned in frustration when she heard her mom heading back, and slid her legs to the floor, taking a quick step away from him.

  If Dorothy noticed the almost electrical charge in the room when she returned, she didn’t let on. She marched up to Bane, holding the towel open between her hands. “Here, let me dry your hair.”

  Malachi turned amused eyes in Amber’s direction, and bent almost in half to give her mom access to his head. Amber couldn’t stifle a laugh at the sight before her as she watched her mother rub his hair—all the while clucking and sighing and muttering that he was big enough to know better and would catch his death of cold.

  Amber took it all in, her heart full of joy, as the two people she loved most in the world found a way to co-exist. If anyone had told her twelve months ago that she would have to die to find this kind of happiness, she would have laughed. The cosy scene unfolding before her eyes made her smile but she could never forget that their lives together might not always be this idyllic. What and who they were would likely bring many challenges and personal losses over the coming years.

  But right now, basking in the glow of the unwavering devotion of her mother and the love of Malachi Bane—the kindest, most decent man she had ever known—Amber finally had the kind of life she had always craved.

  And that life was worth dying for.

  About the Author

  I live in a beautiful part of the Southwest of England with my husband and my dog, Hoagy. My first experience of writing was creating what is known as ‘fan fiction’ on the Internet forum of one of my favourite artists. Lots of my readers gave me really positive feedback and encouraged me to write more and take things further. Without them, I would never have had the confidence to submit a manuscript.

  I enjoy the process of writing and creating characters I would like to meet and situations I would like to be in. I love sexy stories about strong men, and even stronger women, and the idea of a woman who is or becomes brave enough to take what she wants and not let previous life experiences hold her back.

  A central message in much of my work involves a decision on her part to take risks in her personal life, and enjoy the rewards.

  Email: LuxieRyder@aol.com

  Luxie loves to hear from readers. You can find her contact information, website and author biography at http://www.total-e-bound.com.

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