by Gow, Kailin
I stand to go get him, but then I hear my name.
“Celes…” Grayson repeats, barely audible.
I rush to his side, bending to touch him despite my fears. I shouldn’t do that though, it seems, because another jolt of energy leaps into him, making Grayson’s back arc with pain.
“Oh, Grayson. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
Grayson sits up, facing me as he does it. His arm and his leg are still twisted horrifically from where Phillipa hit him. Only they don’t stay that way for long. Grayson twists them back into place with a grunt of effort, and a second later it’s like he was never injured. As for the spot on his face where Phillipa’s first blow landed, there’s no sign of any injury at all. It’s like Grayson is putting himself back together piece by piece.
When he’s done, Grayson stands, and he looks fine. Like there’s nothing wrong. Like he hasn’t just been beaten half to death. Like I didn’t just nearly kill him with a touch. It’s… no, I can’t think of it as impossible, not with all the things I can do. Except that this is Grayson. Grayson is normal, isn’t he?
I guess not.
Grayson looks over to me, grinning in a way that suggests he can’t quite believe what has just happened either. It’s kind of nice to know that I’m not the only one, though Grayson looks less like it’s a total shock than just like something he wasn’t sure about has just come good.
“So it worked,” Grayson says.
NINETEEN
I can’t help staring at Grayson. What he has just done is… incredible. And I’m saying that as someone who can burn people into a charred pile of ashes, like the one that sits where Phillipa was.
“Grayson, I don’t know what happened, but you just put yourself back together like…” I struggle to come up with anything, but then it comes to me. “It reminds me of some of the toy figures my brother had, where you could just repair them whenever they got damaged.”
Grayson smiles. “I know. It’s kind of cool, isn’t it?”
“You sound like you knew this was going to happen.”
Grayson nods, but then pauses. “I… I guess you could say I knew, but I forgot. When I was still just a kid, I had dreams about being able to do this. At least, I guess they were dreams. This would have been before my mother married Richard. Before I even met you. I forgot about them, though. I don’t know why I forgot about them.”
The word “Fading” jumps into my head. I know Grayson must be thinking it too.
“But just now, when your power went into me, it’s like it touched something in me. It woke it up. It’s like I connected with you.”
“Your eyes look normal,” I say, remembering how Jack’s eyes glowed after the moment when I brought out his powers.
“I feel normal,” Grayson says. “Didn’t you when you discovered you were something else?”
He has a point there. I know people wanted to make me feel like I was something special, or something frightening. And I was scared about what I might become, but Grayson is right.
“I felt like me,” I say. “Me, just with a lot of things I didn’t understand going on beneath the surface.”
I look around, checking the area. There are no signs of other Faders, but then there wouldn’t be. Most of them will be inside, recovering, while Lionel’s group will still think that Phillipa is watching us. It means we have time. Time to figure out what’s going on with Grayson. Time to figure out what all of this means.
“We should tell Jack,” I say. “He should know.”
“Why?” Grayson demands, suddenly angry. “Why must Jack know? Does he know everything about you?” His eyes narrow. “Has he been everywhere with you? Do you share everything intimate with him?”
“Grayson!” That’s not a question he should be asking, especially when I haven’t. I just haven’t. He has no right to go around asking me stupid, jealous questions like that. And why does he want to be so secretive about what has just happened? What does it matter if Jack finds out?
Except that I can’t imagine Jack wanting Grayson to know exactly what he is.
“Sebastian and his team of scientists could help if they knew,” I suggest.
Grayson grimaces, “Not when they think we’re both dangerous to them. Which they will. Celes, that was a Fader you burned, not one of the Others. Lionel will be able to say that you’re too dangerous.”
As if to prove his point, the door to the farmhouse opens letting a group of Faders out into the night air. They look like Faders from Location Two, which means that they’re almost certainly on Lionel’s team. They look over at us, and I know they aren’t just out there for no reason, even though they don’t approach us.
“Maybe we could explain that Phillipa attacked us,” I suggest to Grayson.
“Do you think they’d listen?” Grayson shoots back. “No one in the farmhouse would care.”
“My family’s in there,” I point out. “So are Jack and Sebastian. If we just tell them what’s going on, if we tell them what Lionel did, I’m sure people will listen.”
“They won’t,” Grayson says. “Think about it, Celes. I’m the kid whose father is the leader of the Others. You’re… well, they’ll point to the pile of ashes here and suddenly they’ll have all the proof they need that you’re dangerous. Whereas Lionel is their friend. They’ve known him for years.”
That sounds ominous. Grayson makes it sound like there’s no way out of this for us. Like the whole Underground will be trying to kill us as surely as the Others, the moment we go back inside.
“So what can we do?” I ask.
“First, we deal with what’s left of Phillipa. We scatter the remains and do our best to disguise the burn marks.”
“And then?” I ask.
“And then we leave, Celes. We run while we can. We get away from the Underground and try to stay safe.”
“Just like that?” I ask, hardly able to believe what Grayson is suggesting. “I can’t just leave,” I say. “I can’t just run off and abandon everything.”
“You can,” Grayson points out. “You have.”
I have. Of course I have. It’s what I did when I was Faded. I left without getting to say goodbye to my family. Without getting to say goodbye to Grayson. But that just means I know exactly how much it hurts to do it. And there are some people I can’t just leave behind.
“I have to tell Jack,” I say.
Grayson shakes his head. “It’s too dangerous.”
“I have to, Grayson.” I try to come up with a reason that will make sense to him. “Remember when I came to see you without telling him? How he followed me? How he thought it was a threat? And I have to tell him what’s going on.”
Grayson looks over to Lionel’s Faders, still hanging around outside the farmhouse. What are they waiting for over there? A signal from Phillipa? If so, it isn’t going to come.
“We can’t go in,” Grayson says. “We might not be able to get out again, Celes. It’s too much of a risk.”
“It’s a risk,” I agree, “but it’s one I have to take. I can’t just leave Jack hanging, and that’s not just because of what I feel about him. It’s about him and Sebastian. It’s about my family. Jack can’t do anything if he doesn’t know what’s happening.”
“So what are you going to do?” Grayson demands. “Walk in there and announce that Lionel is trying to make the Underground into something it shouldn’t be.”
“You know I wouldn’t do anything that risky, Grayson.”
For a moment, he looks disbelieving in the darkness. “Do I? You were quick enough to take a risk when it came to getting Lionel back.”
“And look where that got me.” I take Grayson by the arms. “I’m not going to do anything stupid. I’m just going to quietly let Jack and Sebastian know that there is dissention in the Underground. Then we’ll go from there.”
“I still don’t like this,” Grayson says. “There’s too of a much chance of Lionel’s people stopping you from leaving. And we might never get a
nother chance to get away from them. We might be stuck with them following you, regardless of how much we do to try to lose them.”
“But it’s a risk we have to take.” I move away from him. Far enough that I can make a run for the farmhouse if I have to. “I’m going in there, Grayson.”
Grayson doesn’t look happy about it, but he nods. “Okay. We’ll need to get rid of Lionel’s Faders though.”
“How are we going to do that?” I ask. It’s not like we can just suggest to them that they might like to move out of the way, after all. And we certainly can’t tell them the truth about what is going on.
“Just leave that part to me,” Grayson says. “Phillipa’s remains too. I’ll deal with it. Hide them so that no one will guess what happened out here.”
“So what do I do?” I ask.
“Exactly what they think you ought to do. Go back inside like nothing has happened. Like you just came out here to talk to me.”
A minute ago, he was saying that was too dangerous, but I guess I should be grateful. Grayson has seen that my mind is made up, and he’s willing to help me out with what I have in mind.
“And when I’m inside, I find Jack and tell him?” I ask.
Grayson shakes his head. “Whatever you do, don’t discuss this in the middle of the farmhouse. We don’t know who is on our side and who is on Lionel’s, so we don’t know how the people there would react if they overheard you. Besides, there’s a good chance that he won’t be far away from Lionel himself.”
“So how am I meant to let Jack know if I can’t tell him?” I ask.
“You persuade him to come out here,” Grayson replies. “It shouldn’t be hard. Just pretend that you want to spend some romantic time alone with him. People will believe that. Jack certainly will.” Does Grayson sound bitter there? Somehow, I don’t think that this is going to be all that easy, not if Grayson has his memories back. “Once you get him out here, we can talk to him.”
“I just hope talking will be enough,” I say.
Grayson starts to put a reassuring arm round me, but then seems to think better of it. “Jack might be able to help. He’s the closest to Lionel of anybody, and Sebastian listens to him too. So either Jack will be able to get through to Lionel and persuade him that you aren’t dangerous even after what has happened, or he and Sebastian will be able to persuade the Faders not to go along with Lionel.”
“Didn’t you just say that a lot of the Faders are more loyal to Lionel than Sebastian?” I point out.
Grayson shrugs. “It isn’t perfect, Celes, but I can’t give you perfect here. I’ve already told you what I think we should do.”
“Run for the hills and forget about everyone else.”
“Keep ourselves safe. It’s not like Lionel has a reason to hurt Jack or your family, and I don’t think he’s an evil man. He wouldn’t do it for the sake of it.”
Maybe Grayson has a point. Maybe they would be safer without me there. Yet I can’t bring myself to do that to Jack. I can’t just run out on him, even if that’s exactly what I did to Grayson. After all, I didn’t get a choice, when it came to Grayson. And then there’s the question of what Jack is. If Lionel ever finds out how much Jack’s non-human half is coming through, won’t that make him just as suspicious as he seems to be of me?
No, I have to go back in there. I have to pretend that everything is all right. That shouldn’t be too hard, should it? After all, I’ve spent the last month or two pretending to be a completely different person. How hard can it be to just pretend that things are normal for five minutes?
TWENTY
Grayson moves over to the Faders between me and the door to the farmhouse, talking to them. While he does so, I go back inside. They don’t try to stop me. But then, it’s getting out that is potentially the hard part, not getting back in. I just have to hope that Grayson will be able to do everything that he’s said he is going to. It seems like a lot to ask of him to hide the evidence of what I did to Phillipa, and get rid of the Faders who might try to stop us if we wanted to leave.
Do we want to leave? I won’t know for sure until I’ve been able to talk to Jack. Grayson seems set on it, but it doesn’t feel right somehow. Or maybe that is just the thought of having to leave Jack behind. I’m not sure I would be able to do that. I’m also not sure what the return of Grayson’s memories will mean for the two of us. I’m with Jack, and I plan to stay with Jack, but Grayson being there makes things… complicated.
Jack isn’t in the main room of the farmhouse, with the rest of the Faders. I ask after him, because I figure that anyone I ask will assume that I just want to be close to him, rather than that I need to get some kind of secret message to him, and a Fader tells me that he’s in one of the rooms at the far end of the farmhouse.
I find it inside a couple of minutes. It has a door of the kind of toughened glass the Underground seems to like so much, letting me see inside to where Jack, Sebastian and Jonas are sitting around a table, examining a rock that looks a lot like the one we took from Switzerland. There are computer screens attached to the table, along with manipulating arms, and I guess that the whole arrangement must be some kind of scanner. Jack looks up and smiles, hitting a button to open the door.
“Ah, Celestra, there you are!” Jonas says beside him, as though I’m a guest of honor at a party, rather than a visitor to a secret base. “We were about to come get you. You need to see this.”
As I get closer, I can see that the rock on the table definitely is the one from Switzerland. I wonder if Lionel knows that Jack brought it here yet. Given what happened outside, I kind of hope not. Images of the rock appear on the computer screens attached to the table, traced out in green lines and accompanied by a whole series of numbers that I don’t have enough context to understand. I guess that they’re some kind of information about it, but I don’t know what.
Another screen shows a view of what seems to be crystals, but then I see that one of the arms poised over the rock has a microscope attachment, and I guess that the image must be an extreme close up of its surface.
“You look like you have been busy,” I say. Secretly, I just want to get Jack out of there so that we can tell him what’s going on, but I know I can’t just blurt something like that out. Besides, if Jonas knows something about the rock we found, then I probably need to know.
“Oh, we’ve been busy,” Jonas says. “Very busy. While you were out on the raid, I was able to get a lot of work done on it. This rock is an extraordinary find. I didn’t think it would give up its secrets as quickly as it has, either.”
That sounds intriguing, and for a moment I forget what I’m there for. I move over to Jack, and he steps behind me, wrapping his hands around my waist so that we’re pressed close facing the other two. It feels perfect to be there like that. Like I’ve always been there. It’s comfortable, but it’s more than comfortable, because “comfortable” doesn’t cover the kind of heat that there is between us. It’s enough to make me want to turn and kiss him right there and then, even though his father and uncle are both there. I don’t, but it takes an effort not to. And somehow I know that Jack is having exactly the same difficultly.
Thankfully, Jonas manages to distract me by pointing to one of the computer screens.
“Now, Celestra,” he says, “you’ve probably already guessed from your time in Switzerland that this rock is from wherever you are.”
I nod. That’s why finding it was such a big deal, after all. And, given the way it reacted to me, I can’t imagine it being from anywhere else. The rock and I are connected. The more we find out about it, the more we’ll learn about me. I have to believe that.
“Well, it’s certainly no ordinary rock.” Jonas says, then pauses, as though something amusing has just occurred to him. “Although in one sense, the ordinariness of it is what is so extraordinary, if you take my meaning.”
I look at him blankly.
“What I mean is that this rock definitely originated somewhere in our solar sy
stem. Our tests show a connection between it and our sun, so that the power it gives off increases in sunlight, while what we have been able to determine of its chemical structure suggests a near Earth origin.”
“So it’s not some kind of alien rock?” I ask. “And if not, what am I?”
“That’s the question, isn’t it?” Jonas asks with a faint smile. “All of the Underground’s research has been based on the assumption of life far off in space, in other systems. Even other galaxies. This… well, taken with what we know of you, it’s a little confusing.”
I obviously look confused again, because he explains.
“What I mean is that this rock suggests that, whatever you are, you are from this star system.”
“Okay,” I say. “Um… unless I’m missing something, Earth is the only planet in the solar system with life on it, right?”
“As far as we know, yes,” Jonas says.
“So that means?”
“It means you must be human!”
Human. I don’t feel very human sometimes. Not when there’s power rising up in me, and it seems so natural for me to hurt other people. And humans don’t have the power to burn other humans alive.
“I can’t be human,” I say.
Behind me, I can feel Jack’s surprise too. “Celes is right,” he says. “Saying that we’re human doesn’t make any sense, Jonas.”
Jonas laughs. “Oh, very special humans, obviously. Highly evolved ones, perhaps, who have moved a long way beyond people nowadays.”
“Are you sure?” Sebastian asks.
“You’ve seen the analysis for yourself,” Jonas points out.
Sebastian nods. “It’s just… that’s amazing.”
Amazing is one word for it. Though to me, it seems more confusing than anything. After all, how can it be true? How can Jack and I somehow be more evolved than the next human? Even the idea of us being from another planet seems to make more sense than that, because at least with that, there’s the idea of us having come from somewhere we don’t know about. If we’re from Earth… well, we know about Earth, don’t we? And I’m pretty sure none of my science classes at school covered people able to do any of the things I do.