The Midwest Witch: The Revelations of Oriceran (Midwest Magic Chronicles Book 1)

by Flint Maxwell

  “Holy shit! Did you see me cream that son of a bitch!?” Claire yelled. It was the first thing Maria heard once she regained consciousness.

  Maria opened her eyes. She stared at a tiled ceiling.

  “I don’t think I can, like, go to jail for that…can I?” Claire said. “It’s kinda like hitting a deer or something.”

  Laughter came from behind her. Among it sounded like Salem and Agnes, even the Muffler twins.

  “That was pretty awesome,” Tabby said. “I was sure we were going to die. I thought that…that thing was going to unhinge his jaw and just swallow the Kia whole.”

  “Now that would be ridiculous,” a tired old man’s voice said.

  It was Gramps. Ignatius Apple, formerly known on Oriceran in the village of Dominion as Ignatius Mangood.

  “Ohh,” Maria moaned. She brought a hand up to her head and touched what felt like a wad of napkins. One pulled free, and she squinted her eyes, reading Salem’s on the paper. World class medical care, she thought. Ice cream shop napkins instead of gauze and Band-Aids. I wonder what they used to sterilize the wound—whipped cream?

  “She’s up!” Claire shouted. “Maria!”

  Maria tried to sit up.

  “Easy, easy,” Tabby said.

  “Yes, young lady, you took quite a beating,” Agnes said. She entered Maria’s field of vision, her wild gray hair swallowing up her view of the tiled ceiling.

  “Yeah, I feel like I died,” Maria rasped. It hurt to talk.

  “You should’ve,” Salem said. He hobbled over next to Agnes and put an arm around her waist. “How I could be so stupid as to miss a plain old cloaking charm, I don’t know. I am sorry, though, Maria. I know that doesn’t mean much in the grand scheme of what occurred, but know that I’m eternally grateful to you. You saved my life.”

  “Our lives, too!” the Muffler twins said from somewhere behind Maria.

  “And mine,” Gramps said.

  Maria managed to turn her head, but not before her neck cracked about twenty times. Yeah, she would definitely be sore in the morning.

  Maria found Gramps with her eyes. Sherlock sat next to him. They both seemed to be smiling.

  Seeing them gave her strength, just like the sword had done earlier. She sat up, barely registering the pain that wracked through her body.

  “Gramps!” she said.

  “Maria. Maria, Maria, Maria!” he laughed. “You are such a reckless fool. But what would I have done without you?”

  “Died, probably,” Salem said. He laughed as well.

  “I didn’t want you to risk your life for me,” Gramps continued. “I’ve lived long enough, but you, you have so much life left ahead of you. You are going to do so many great things.”

  Eh, don’t push it, Ig, Sherlock said.

  Maria rolled her eyes at him.

  Suddenly, something popped into her mind. “The music box!” she shouted. “Where is the—”

  Gramps seemed to produce it out of nowhere. “If I’d known how much trouble this little thing would’ve caused us, I think I would’ve gotten you a candy bar.”

  “You did know,” Salem told him. “You knew it would cause trouble, but you also knew Maria could handle it.”

  Gramps swallowed, the knob in his neck bobbing. He nodded. “I did. I guess you’re right, Salem.”

  “Almost always am,” Salem said, grinning. His face was bandaged with napkins, too. He looked ridiculous. Maria knew she probably didn’t look much better.

  “I knew she could handle it because she is my granddaughter. We Apples can handle almost anything,” Gramps said.

  “Yeah,” Claire said. She and Tabby stood by Maria’s side. They always would, from then on. “Now that I’ve seen a giant spider-man…thing, I really do think you guys can handle anything.”

  “And that you’re weird as hell,” Tabby added.

  Everyone laughed. Even Sherlock, who made that odd chortling sound inside of Maria’s head.

  “Couldn’t have done it without you,” Maria said. She looked at her best friends. “I’m sorry for the way I acted back at your place, Claire. I was just—”

  Claire raised a hand. “Don’t sweat it. If you hadn’t acted like it, I wouldn’t have gotten to turn that asshole into roadkill. Remind me to thank Andy Franz for posting that blurry pic on Instagram.” Maria cocked her head and arched an eyebrow (even that slight movement caused her pain).

  “Long story,” Claire went on. “Anyway, my car’s a little messed up, but hey, that’s what insurance is for, right?” She shrugged. “Better than a dead friend.”

  “You think insurance covers giant spider accidents?” Tabby asked.

  “I’ll just say it was a deer,” Claire said.

  “Good idea.”

  Gramps walked closer to the table Maria was on. He stared at his granddaughter for a moment, taking in how much she looked like her mother, the Queen Witch, and smiled. Then the two hugged for a long moment.

  “It’s over for now,” Gramps whispered into Maria’s ear.

  When they parted, Maria said, “Not yet. We still have a village to save.”

  Gramps nodded. “That we do. But we can’t do it on an empty stomach now, can we?”

  Sherlock barked. Inside of Maria’s head, he said, Hell no!

  They all laughed.

  “I don’t know if I’m really in the mood for ice cream,” Maria said. She rubbed at her temple. Honestly, she was really in the mood for sleep.

  “What?” Claire said, her mouth in a perfect O-shape. “Maria Apple isn’t in the mood for buckeye ice cream? That’s blasphemous!”

  “You don’t even know what blasphemy is,” Tabby said and nudged Claire with her elbow.

  “What about pancakes?” Salem asked.

  “Yes!” the Muffler twins said simultaneously as always.

  “Pancakes don’t sound bad,” Maria said. “But where the hell are we gonna get pancakes at this ungodly hour?” It was well past midnight. The town was asleep.

  “A new Denny’s just opened up not too far from the mall,” Agnes said. “Haven’t tried it yet, but I’ve heard good things. Open 24/7, too.”

  Gramps smiled. “There you have it, Maria.”

  They helped her off the table.

  “We can take my car,” Claire said, pulling her keys out of her pocket and disarming the alarm with a beep.

  They went outside. Claire’s car looked like it had been cleaved down the middle of the hood. There was a string of black goop and web-like hair caught in the grille. Maria, limping, wiped it away, hoping no one noticed. She didn’t want their festive mood dampened.

  They all piled into Claire’s car, nine bodies in a five seater. Maria and Tabby in the front, the rest in the back except for Sherlock, who sat on the floor of the front seat, tangled up between the girls’ legs.

  It was uncomfortable, and a bit smelly, but in a weird way, it was home. Because the people in this car—the witches and wizards and humans and dog—were all part of Maria’s family, her tribe.

  ***

  The waitress pushed together two tables in the middle of the dining room. There was no one inside the Denny’s this late, and the waitress, an older woman with bleached-blonde hair, just seemed happy to have some business. Bigger parties meant bigger tips, so she didn’t protest when Sherlock sauntered into the room, wagging his tail, with strings of drool dripping from his drooping cheeks.

  These people look like they’ve been through World War III. Oh my, the girl is wearing a sword on her hip, the waitress thought with an odd smile on her face. Even the dog looks frazzled. What I would give to find out what the heck these people have been up to tonight. She read them the special and took their drink orders.

  “I’ll be back in a moment to take your food orders,” she said, still smiling—gotta work for those tips. Though this group, as haggard and beaten as they seemed, was happy. Really happy.

  The waitress, whose name was Ilene, thought back to her own youthful days, and o
f her family that was mostly gone or scattered across the United States, and, in Frank’s case, Canada. She missed them. She promised to herself that after her shift was over, she was going to give her eldest daughter, Savanna, a call. She lived in California, three hours behind. It would only be midnight when Ilene got off; Savanna would be up. Maybe she’d even fly out to visit her. God, how long has it been? Three years? Five?

  She came back with the drinks: Coca-Colas, lemonades, hot teas with lemon, and a milkshake for the dog. “Now, what can I get you nice folks to eat?”

  Maria spoke up.

  She didn’t realize it, but she had become the leader of the group. Had she realized it, she might’ve refused the job—but it had come as naturally as a summer thunderstorm in the dead of night. There was no denying destiny.

  “Well, Ilene, I think we are going to order a bunch of pancakes,” Maria said. She had discovered a hunger in her she did not know was possible. Such was common after the heat of a battle. Ignatius Apple could attest to that.

  She looked down the length of the table both ways. She sat in the middle, Tabby and Claire on each side of her, Ignatius and Sherlock across.

  The rest of the group nodded.

  “I definitely want a stack of blueberry,” Maria said.

  “Yeah, blueberry,” Claire said.

  “I’ll do chocolate chip,” Tabby said.

  “Same,” the Muffler twins answered.

  “Do you have banana?” Ignatius asked.

  “Yes, we do. We have banana nut, banana, and chocolate banana,” Ilene answered. She didn’t have her pad out to take the order. Never needed it.

  “Ooh, chocolate banana,” Salem said. “Sign me up!”

  “We’ll share,” Agnes said, motioning to her and Salem.

  “I’ll do banana nut,” Ignatius said. “Thank you very much.”

  Maria leaned forward. “Oh, and we’ll probably want seconds. Tell your cook to keep the griddle warm.”

  Ilene grinned. “Oh, it always is, young lady. I’ll have those right out to you.”

  “What a good idea,” Maria said. “Pancakes. Nothing is better when you’re starving. You know, I could probably even go for some ice cream when we’re done, after all.”

  Salem nodded.

  “Not with your cholesterol,” Agnes said, hitting him in the chest. Salem rolled his eyes.

  “No fun,” he said.

  The pancakes came not too long after they ordered them. Buckets of syrup and trays of butter were passed around the table. Another waitress had to come assist Ilene in serving the food, there was that much. They ate and they ate. Belts were loosened, buttons undone, but the hunger was hardly satisfied.

  As they waited for their second helping of pancakes, Maria excused herself to go to the restroom. She’d had to piss like a racehorse ever since she’d speared Malakai with her grandfather’s sword. She still had a hard time believing that had happened. It was all a blur, a nightmarish blur, and as the clock ticked, it got further and further away, dissolving like nightmares often tend to upon awakening.

  “Want us to come?” Tabby asked.

  Oh, right, Maria remembered. Girls and their pack mentality when going to the bathroom. It was an aspect of womanhood she never fully understood, nor did she think she ever would.

  “No, thanks. I can handle this one myself,” Maria said, smiling.

  ***

  The bathroom was empty. It smelled fresh, as if it had recently been cleaned…thank God. Maria did her business and began to wash her hands.

  She noted the black blood underneath her fingernails, and tried to scrub it clean. It would take a few manicures to clean them, she supposed. That or just ripping the whole fingernail off and letting it grow back in fresh. Yeah, that would probably be what she had to do, as gruesome as it sounded. No amount of Purell or hand soap could disinfect—

  Something moved in the mirror. Instantly, as seamless as breathing, Maria went for the sword on her belt. An odd thought crossed her mind: What if someone walked in the restroom right now and saw you? How crazy you would look, Maria?

  But she was past the point of crazy and way past the point of truly caring. Getting attacked by a giant spider tends to do that to you.

  Maria spun around, the sword in hand.

  Nothing.

  “I need to sleep,” she said to herself. She sheathed the sword. “Seeing things and stuff. Not good.” Then she went back to washing her hands. She finished and turned to pump the paper towels free from the dispenser when she saw it again.

  “Shit on a stick!” she cursed. “You’re going to give me a fucking heart attack.”

  “I’m sorry,” the dead boy Duke said.

  Maria noticed two things about him almost instantly: he was smiling, and the blood, the gashes, and the anguish on his face had begun to clear up. He no longer looked like a boy in soldier’s clothes. Now, he just looked like a regular kid.

  “Can’t you give me a heads up or something? Don’t ghosts do that? You know, like, rattle chains or start whispering really creepy stuff. That way I’ll at least know it’s you.”

  “No chains in the world in between,” Duke said. “Sorry.”

  Maria shrugged. “Well, we need something.”

  Duke shook his head. “No, not any longer.”

  “What do you mean?” She tossed the wet paper towel into the trashcan and said, “Three points!” under her breath.

  “Nice shot. I mean I will no longer have to contact you from this dreadful place. My time has come.”

  Maria hadn’t thought her life could get any weirder than it had in the past couple days, but she was continuously being proven wrong. Pretty soon, she was just going to accept everything, no matter what. Couldn’t go wrong there.

  “I mean, I’m moving on.”

  “Like, from the Denny’s bathroom? I don’t blame you. It smells clean and it looks clean, but I’d bet you a million bucks, if we ran a black light over everything, we’d both vomit up our pancakes.”

  “Pancakes?” Duke asked, cocking his head.

  “Never mind. So you obviously didn’t mean you’re moving on from the Denny’s bathroom. This is the ladies’, by the way. I think it could be a crime for a boy to enter it. But hey, I just stabbed a giant spider to death, what the fuck do I know?”

  Duke laughed. “Yes, that you did. And thank you so much, Maria.”

  “Thank me? No, thank you. Wow, I never thought I’d be thanking a ghost kid. My life is seriously messed up.”

  “No, your life is just beginning.”

  “Eh, I’ve been here for nineteen years. These past couple days definitely take the cake, but I’m pretty sure I’ve peaked in the weirdness/excitement/fun department.”

  “You’re on to Oriceran, Maria. The weirdness, excitement, and fun are all just starting.”

  “I don’t know if I should be happy about that, or… You know what? Never mind. Gotta embrace the weird. I got a friend in Austin, Texas who always says that. Maybe it’s time I make it my own catchphrase. Although ‘Oh, what the fuck is that?’ is a very close second.”

  Duke laughed again. It was a nice laugh, one without pain and fear. Maria was glad she was able to hear it, despite him being dead and all. “Yes, weird is not entirely a bad thing. You’ve grown up with Ignatius Mangood, so I’m assuming English is your second language.”

  “What would be the first?” Maria asked.

  “Weird,” Duke answered matter-of-factly.

  “You got that right.” She smiled. She wished Duke was here, and not just a ghost between worlds. If he were, she would’ve hugged him. He was part of her tribe, too. “Now, where are you going?”

  “I’m moving on.” Duke continued smiling. He seemed to glow now with a great light, almost angelic.

  “Moving on, yeah, you said that. What the heck does it mean?”

  “I’m free of the chains that bind me to the world in between because of you, Maria.”

  “Me? How?”

&nbs
p; “Because you were in need of guidance and I guided you. Not only did you exceed expectations, you blew them to smithereens.”

  “So you get to go where?”

  “A place called Heaven. Do you know of it on Earth?”

  Maria nodded. Tears had begun to well up in the corners of her eyes. Were they tears of happiness? Sadness? Fear?

  A combination of all those emotions.

  “We do know of Heaven. It’s nice to know it exists. So what would have happened if I failed? Would you have never gotten out of the world in between?”

  Duke shrugged. “You didn’t fail, so we will never know. I’m content with that answer. I hope you are, too. I just wanted to come and say goodbye. You are a special girl, Maria. It is too bad our paths did not cross in the mortal realm.”

  Now the tears left her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. She was crying and not ashamed of it.

  “I wish you luck on the rest of your journey. The village of Dominion awaits you, Maria.”

  Fear struck her heart. She stepped forward on wobbly, muscle-tight legs. “I can’t do it without you, Duke. I need your guidance.”

  Duke pointed to the wall, where beyond the burnt-orange paint and plaster was a table full of people Maria cared about and who cared about her.

  “You have them, Maria. Your tribe. They will follow you anywhere, to the Gates of Hell, the Laughing Trees of the Dark Forest, anywhere. And you will lead them. But you cannot do it without them and they cannot do it without you.”

  Maria reached out. Her hand passed through Duke. He looked down and smiled. Then he reached his own hand toward Maria and their fingers lay atop of one another. Maria felt nothing besides a slight tingling in her palm, as if her hand had fallen asleep.

  “I must go now, Maria. Eternity awaits.” The light surrounding Duke glowed brighter than the sun. Maria didn’t shield or close her eyes. She watched it all in sheer fascination and disbelief.

  “Thank you,” Duke said.

  Then he was gone, the light washing out the Denny’s bathroom with him. Maria was alone. She sat on the trashcan after a moment, worried her legs were going to give out on her.