Return to Silver Bay

by Lara Van Hulzen

  Maggie sat back down. Her tears had stopped as if the flood of information was some sort of dam to her system. She was thinking so hard that it hurt.

  “What happened to you after all this?”

  “I met and married Michael, Kate’s dad, and we built a life for ourselves in Boston. Your mother was able to write to me in secret for a while, but that was it. When I met Gwen at your Christmas party and heard her last name, I had to leave the table. I realized she was the woman who had helped me write to your mother all those years.” She stopped for a moment and looked down at her hands. “Maggie, I regret a lot of the choices I made before I met Michael. But I never regretted my choice to have you. I only wish that I could have raised you and seen you grow up. I’ve prayed so much for so many years about all this. You were put with Patrick and Caroline for a reason. Maybe it was to help Caroline endure the heartache Patrick caused, or maybe for both of you to keep each other strong. I don’t know.”

  She took a sip of her tea and continued.

  “Kate told me about meeting you when she moved here. I wondered if it could be you, but when Kate came back for Michael’s funeral and showed me a picture of you with Kate and Hannah, I knew it was true. You look exactly like your father. Then when I got here and saw you and heard you knew of your adoption, I prayed for wisdom and felt that God wanted me to set us both free by telling you the truth. I only hope that you can someday forgive me.”

  Maggie listened intently, tears forming again in her eyes. “Wait a minute. If you’re my birth mother, then Kate is my half-sister. And Drew and David are my half-brothers.”

  “Yes.”

  “Do any of them know this yet?”

  “No. I felt I should tell you first.”

  The two women sat in silence. Maggie’s shoulders sagged. The puzzle pieces she’d been trying to place now fit together, yet her mind still couldn’t process the picture they created. She spoke first.

  “I’m sorry if I am not saying much, Rose. This is a lot to take in. I knew that I had a mother out there somewhere, and maybe siblings too, but to find out that you are and Kate is….”

  “I know.” She looked down. “I know.”

  “Do you have a picture of my …dad?”

  “Yes, I have one right here.” She reached into her purse again and pulled out two photographs. Maggie noticed the shape that dated them, along with the worn edges. She took them from Rose and saw in the young man in a Marine Corps uniform the same brown eyes she saw when she looked at herself in the mirror. She had always thought they were her mother’s eyes. Caroline’s eyes. Her heart broke again. She looked at the other photograph. It was a shot of Caroline and Rose at college. They both looked young and alive. Caroline looked so happy.

  “It’s hard to believe sometimes that we were ever that young.” Rose smiled through her tears. “It feels like a lifetime ago. I thought I would never love again after Danny, but Michael was so understanding and kind. He never judged me for all that happened.”

  “Did he ever encourage you to try to find me?”

  “No. He knew that it would only cause more pain, and he didn’t ever want Patrick to hurt you or your mother.”

  “Did he know my father?”

  “No. I met Michael after Caroline and Patrick moved out here. But I had told him about our history, and he agreed that letting go and letting Caroline love you and raise you was best.”

  “I have a feeling, Rose, that my mother…,” Maggie stumbled. “Caroline, wanted me to find you after she and my father were gone. I think she wanted me to know you.”

  “I hope so.”

  Maggie reached over to return the photographs to Rose.

  “You go ahead and keep those. I have a few more, and I have the memories that are still so clear. I only regret that you don’t. I’m so sorry, Maggie. I hope you can believe that I did what I did because I love you.”

  “I understand that, Rose. I really do. I just hope you can give me some time to let it all sink in. I have a lot to think about.”

  “Of course you do. I have no intention of pushing you into something you don’t want. I simply needed to tell you the truth.”

  “When are you going to tell Kate?”

  “I was going to talk with her tonight.”

  Rose took a Kleenex from her purse and wiped her face.

  “You take your time and think about things. I’ll go now, and when you’re ready to continue talking, you know where to find me.”

  Before Maggie could protest, Rose had moved through the room and out the front door.

  *

  Rose’s feet moved back towards Kate’s house, her shoes like they were filled with lead. Her chest hurt as if she’d held her breath going into the conversation with Maggie and didn’t breathe again until she walked out the door. She was panting like she had run a marathon when she reached Kate’s front porch. Sitting down on the steps, she let the sobs take her over. She cried for Danny, she cried for Caroline, for Michael and for the baby she never knew until now. She cried until she didn’t have a drop left.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  ‡

  Josh sat at his drafting table in his home office, poring over the plans for the San Francisco office building. The clients were being picky again and he was close to tearing his hair out trying to please them. A task that seemed completely unmanageable, at best. Just as he balled up another piece of paper and threw it in the trash, his cell phone rang.

  “Good, a distraction. Hallelujah.” He tapped accept on his phone. “Hello.”

  “Josh, it’s Maggie.”

  She’d been crying and was beyond upset.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I need you,” was all she said.

  “I’ll be right there.”

  He grabbed his jacket off the back of his chair and sprinted for the door.

  He arrived at Maggie’s house, dust flying up behind his Jeep. He cleared the front steps in one leap and as he reached the front door, Maggie came out and flung herself into his arms. They stood there for a long time.

  He held her tight as she sank into his embrace and wept, allowing his strength to hold her together. When she was able to catch her breath, she pulled back a bit and looked up into his eyes. He would solve everything for her if he could.

  *

  Maggie’s arms were wrapped around Josh’s neck; his hands against her back held her close. She could feel his heartbeat against her chest. He brought his lips to hers and kissed her with longing and passion. She ran her fingers through his hair, surrendering to his embrace and his kiss.

  They pulled back from one another, both needing a moment to catch their breath. Josh touched his forehead to hers. “Can you tell me what happened?”

  She nodded and took his hand, leading him into the house. They sat down on the sofa in the living room, Dantes circling and then settling at their feet.

  “Rose came by today. I was a little surprised to see her here without Kate, but she said she needed to talk to me alone.”

  Maggie took a deep breath. Having no clue how to tell him, she blurted out, “Josh, Rose is my birth mother.”

  Josh sat back on the sofa.

  A sob-like laugh came from her throat at the look on his face.

  “I know. You have about thirty questions that just popped into your mind all at once and your brain can’t figure out which one to ask first, right? I felt the same way.”

  He looked at her for help. He still did not speak, his eyes filled with shock and bewilderment.

  “She and my mother were best friends in college – roommates. Rose fell in love with a guy named Danny Strauss, my father, who went to serve overseas in the Marine Corps and was killed. Rose found out she was pregnant just before he died. She knew her family would never support her and since my parents were just about to get married, they cooked up a plan to have them raise me instead.

  “But my dad…Patrick, didn’t like the setup, or Rose for that matter, and threatened to tell the
world if they didn’t part ways and never speak again. That’s where the letters come in that I found. My mother was writing to her in secret so my father wouldn’t find out. Rose came today and showed me the other set of letters.”

  Josh moved closer, holding her in his arms, her head on his shoulder.

  “Can I ask you a question?” he said.

  “Yes.”

  “Does Kate know about this?”

  “That she’s my sister? No. Rose is going to talk to her tonight.”

  She clung to him. If she let go, she might never find stability again.

  “I just don’t know what to do now,” she said. “I always pictured myself hunting down my birth mother, not having her knock on my front door and tell me that I’m related to someone I already know and love.” She laughed at the thought, the impossibility of it all.

  “If you think about it, it’s quite amazing. Here you’ve been worried that whoever you found wouldn’t want you in their life or wouldn’t want to be found. The truth is your family are people who already love you.”

  “But what if Kate is angry with her mother and doesn’t want me to be her sister?”

  “I have serious doubts that’s how Kate will respond. She may be shocked at first, yes, but that will change.”

  “I guess I’ll know after tonight, won’t I?”

  “I will stay here with you as long as you want.” His arms held her tighter.

  “Thanks.” She blushed at the thought of their kiss. She buried her head in his shoulder and breathed in deeply. The smell of his cologne filled her senses and she let herself sink into his strength.

  *

  Maggie woke up on the sofa, a blanket tucked nearly around her.

  “Josh?” There was no answer. “Josh?”

  She looked at her watch. It was three o’clock in the morning.

  She noticed a note on the coffee table.

  I can’t tell you how sorry I am, Maggie, but I had to leave. I promise I’ll call you as soon as I can.

  Love, Josh

  She curled up with Dantes and stared into the fireplace. Drifting off again, she began to dream. She was sitting on the shore again, watching her mother swimming in the ocean. Her heart beat wildly in her chest. What if the waves kicked up and consumed her mother? But Caroline swam and floated, periodically waving to Maggie. She swam towards the shore and came out of the water. She picked up a beach towel and dried her hair with it, threw it around her shoulders, and looked down at Maggie, sitting in the sand, staring up at her.

  “What’s the matter, sugar?” she asked Maggie. “You looked worried.”

  “I was worried about you, Mama. I was afraid you would get taken away by the waves.”

  “Oh, no. Don’t you worry about that. Those waves don’t scare me.”

  “Does anything scare you, Mama?”

  “The only thing that scares me, sugar, is you being afraid. Afraid to love. Afraid to take chances. Afraid to trust.”

  She leaned over and took Maggie’s face in her hands.

  “And now that you know the truth, there’s absolutely nothing to be afraid of. If you let it, the truth will set you free.”

  She gave Maggie a tender kiss on the cheek. She let the towel drop and walked slowly back into the water. She began swimming again and with each stroke of her arms, she became more and more a part of the water, melting into it until finally, she was gone.

  Maggie opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling. The house was quiet except for Dantes’ snoring. She thought about her dream on the plane that night when the waves consumed her mother, secrets that she had to keep her entire life. When she awoke this time, however, she felt a sense of calm, a peace that her mother was giving her permission to accept Rose in her life and enjoy the family that God was now giving her a chance to know.

  A lone tear rolled down her cheek. As she wiped it away, she whispered into the darkness, “Thank you, Mama. Thank you.”

  *

  Josh maneuvered his Jeep through the dark, his headlights shining against the huge pine trees that lined the road. Having driven these roads his entire life, he took each curve with ease, his mind on all that Maggie just told him and the kiss they shared. She had responded this time to him, allowing herself to feel what he knew was in her heart. But did that mean she was ready to let him in her life completely, or was she just caught up in the emotion of what Rose had told her?

  He reached out to turn up the heat and when he looked back up, something was in the road. He turned the wheel sharply to the left and tried to gain control, but the Jeep skidded and headed into a roll. In slow motion, he saw glass fly, and the trees turn upside down. He put his arms in front of his face. Maggie’s face flashed before him. Then the world went black.

  *

  Maggie woke with a start. It took her a moment to realize that someone was banging on her door.

  “Just a second!” she cried out, hoarse from the cold air of the living room. She got up, her body cramped from sleeping on the sofa.

  When she got to the door, Kate was standing there with her back to her. Maggie’s heart raced. Would Kate hate her or hug her when she turned around?

  Kate turned, holding a small five by seven canvas for Maggie to see.

  “I made this for you and was going to give it to you at Christmas, but with all that happened with my dad, I didn’t have time to finish it for you. Now, I think there was a reason for that. I was having trouble coming up with a name for it and as of this morning, I have the perfect one.”

  Maggie stared at the painting. It was of two women sitting by a fire, talking. One was curled up in a large chair, the other lounging across a sofa. Maggie could see that it was her and Kate. The painting was exquisite. The colors jumped off the canvas and although the women’s faces weren’t detailed, they were so lifelike and real. It was as if she could reach out and touch them, join them in their conversation.

  “Oh, Kate. It’s beautiful. I didn’t even know you could paint, and to accomplish something like this. This is breathtaking.”

  “It’s one of my many hidden talents, I guess. I wanted it to be a surprise.”

  “It’s definitely a surprise.”

  Kate’s broke into a smile and her eyes welled up with tears.

  “I’ve decided to title it, ‘Sisters.’”

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  ‡

  “I’m coming. Hold on.” Maggie heard Gwen making her way to the front door, a little slower than the first time she’d visited her months ago.

  “Don’t hurry, Gwen,” Maggie said through the door. “It’s just me.”

  Gwen opened the door and gave her young friend a hug. “What a lovely surprise. I didn’t know you were going to come and visit today. Come in, come in, and I’ll put some tea on the stove.”

  Gwen shuffled to the kitchen. Maggie situated herself on the sofa, comforted by the sounds of Gwen running water into the teakettle and placing it on the stove. Gwen came back and sat next to Maggie.

  “Now, is this a chit-chat visit or is there something we need to get down to the nitty-gritty about?” Gwen smiled at her.

  “Well, I’m not really sure how to say this so I’m just going to lay it out straight.”

  “All right then.”

  “Kate’s mother, Rose, is my birth mother.”

  Gwen’s jaw dropped, her reaction making Maggie laugh.

  “I know it’s as mind boggling as it sounds, believe me. But Rose came to see me and she has the other set of letters, the ones my mother wrote to her all those years. They were roommates in college and my birth father was killed while serving in the Marine Corps. She gave me to Caroline to raise. That was why Rose had a hard time at my house on Christmas when she met you and found out your name. She realized you were the one who helped my mother all that time.”

  Gwen found her voice. “Well, my good heavens. That is more than I could ever imagine you coming here to tell me. How do you feel, honey? How are you taking the news?”

/>   “I think I’m still in a state of shock to a certain degree. I keep asking God how in the world my life got to be so crazy, but He’s reminding me that every moment of my life has always been in His hands and nothing surprises Him. I was blessed to have my mother raise me and I am blessed to have Rose and Kate now.”

  “It’s so wonderful that you can have that kind of outlook, Maggie. It’s so lovely to see you respond with such love instead of anger or resentment. Life is way too short for those things to corrode your heart.”

  “I know. My father was living proof of that. I don’t want to live angry or resentful. And although shocking, this news is exciting and full of hope.”

  “Does this mean you’re going to let that lovely young man into your life as well?”

  Maggie smiled. “Oh, yes.”

  Gwen’s eyes twinkled. “Well, now this calls for a celebration. Let’s go dive into some coffee cake I just made.”

  “That sounds perfect! Lead the way.”

  *

  Maggie sat in Jamie’s Java, waiting for Hannah. She’d called and asked Hannah to meet her there so she could tell her some big news. Hannah was worried, but Maggie assured her that it was shocking, but not bad.

  Hannah arrived looking more radiant and beautiful than Maggie had ever seen her. She told Hannah as much when she sat down.

  “Thanks,” Hannah said in response. “I’m just so excited about the baby. I’ve been shopping like crazy.”

  Maggie laughed at her friend. “Well, baby shopping suits you. You look great.”

  “Okay, okay. Enough about me, what is this news that got me over here so fast?”

  Maggie told Hannah the details of what happened when Rose came over. Hannah listened, her face not unlike Gwen’s when she heard the story.