This time in the peace of the garden was invaluable. I prayed and meditated. If things were different I would have fasted as well, but I ate to sustain my body as it healed.
Selas visited me once, to assure himself of my well-being and to assure me that all was well with the preparations to move out again.
"We wait for Dagar's sign to His Chosen, then we move," I said. "If we go now, we risk being caught out by those troops of Iceblade's that are even now going to meet up with him outside of Lalinth."
"What kind of sign?" Selas asked. His tone was nearly as churlish as normal. Looking closely at him I saw his pain and uncertainty, remnants of his violation that would linger on, and all the hidden turmoil he buried very effectively in his work, a place he was as sure and strong as ever. I let my face show him I saw and shared in his struggles.
"An unmistakable one," I said serenely, then smirked. There was a certain joy in needling Selas, and his irritation with me would help push away his other pain.
Selas muttered something under his breath, and I laughed.
"Watch the sun," I said. "Dagar will obscure the Day's Eye."
Selas whistled. "Unmistakable, no doubt."
"Get back to work and leave me in peace, General Old Man," I said, arching a brow at him, still smirking. He sketched a facetious bow and did as ordered.
Night fell in the solitude of the garden, and Fiona came to check the wound and help me clean up. When she was done, I thanked her and wished her a goodnight, climbing into the narrow bed in the acolyte's room. I sat up, watching the fire in the hearth with my arms wrapped around my legs. Fiona had removed the sling on my promise I'd favor my stricken shoulder. There had been no more bleeding.
Iceblade couldn't come to me here in the Goddess' temple, but I wasn't sure I would stay away from him. Only days remained until the end of our struggle. I faced the knowledge that if I succeeded, I would never see him again, never know his touch or hear his rough, enchanting voice. As it was meant to be, I reminded myself, steeling my will against the insistence of my body.
My struggle lasted long into the night, until I finally fell asleep.
Iceblade was awake, in a room of some manor, sitting in a chair before the fire and slowly drinking a goblet of wine. Half undressed, his face drawn and cold, he did not move when I arrived, but waited for me to sit in the chair next to his.
He smiled at me then, half knowing smirk and half gladness to see me. "Here you are," he said, understanding I couldn't have helped myself. I didn't answer, but sat back and drank in the sight of him. "You look forlorn tonight. The meeting with your nobleman go badly?" He tossed back the rest of his wine and poured himself more out of a glass carafe, any trace of a smile falling from his face.
"Pardon?" I asked sweetly, seeing how much it bothered him that I had spent time with Nefen. "Were you scrying again? Spying on me, seeing something you needn't have?"
He glared at me out of the corner of his eye, turning his goblet up as he drank all of his wine. Lifting the carafe, he refilled his goblet again.
"Is it wise to drink so much?"
"It's all right," Iceblade said. "He thinks to have you when you are mine. And you, you wish it were him you desired when it is me you feel in your soul. It's all right." He finished the goblet of wine again. "I'll just kill him myself. I know he's touched you, I could tell it, though I couldn't see when. So he will die for his presumption." Staring into the goblet he muttered, "This is wasting time," and drank from the carafe.
"Leave my friends alone," I hissed. He flung the carafe into the fire, causing a shower of sparks. I flinched, instinctively raising an arm in self-protection, though no physical harm could have come from this.
"He is not your friend, nor is he interested in being your friend." His eyes noted my flinch, and darkened. "I would never harm you."
"He is nothing more than a friend," I said, bitterly. Iceblade laughed. "I come to you, and I don't go to him."
"Do you love me?" he asked. "Or do you hate me because you do?" I glared at him balefully. "Did you come here seeking more play? Did you want to ease your desire, if only by pretending? Do you want me to kneel before you and seduce you with my hunger for you?" He kneeled on the floor between my legs, resting his hands on the arms of the chair I sat in. "Tell me what to give you. Do you want my rage or my ardor?"
I couldn't answer. Gently, I reached up and stroked his face, feeling his warmth if not the skin I craved to touch. He shivered.
"Why did you come tonight?" he asked, his rough voice husky.
"I couldn't stay away," I whispered. "I wanted, I needed to see your face and hear your voice. The Goddess forgive me my weakness, I want only to touch you."
A flush swept up his bare chest and neck, darkened his high cheekbones. "Then come to me. I will give you whatever you ask. I will make you happy." He leaned closer, trembling with his desire. I felt his trembling in every part of my being.
"You can't," I murmured, agonized physically and emotionally. "Vankyar said even if I came to you, you would not stop, and the world would burn."
"Let it," he whispered. "Let me destroy this world where nothing is right or good, and you can create it anew the way it should be."
I could find no words, knowing he believed what he said. He sighed and sat back on the floor. Sliding off my chair, I sat next to him, so close we almost shared the same spot. This may be the last time I can be with you like this, I thought. We settled our hands against each other.
"Vankyar is dead," he told me. "She died a couple days ago. She told me she went to find peace, and I wished it for her. I was nine when she was given to the demon, I couldn't stop Deirdre. I took my sword to Deirdre and she beat me with the flat of her blade until I couldn't stand, and Vankyar was wrecked anyway. The Vankyar I knew was gone after that, and she never came back."
I felt the tears come again. He smiled distantly, reaching up to trace the path of my tears.
"You say you don't love me, but you weep for me and my family anyway. Interesting."
"I can't help what I feel for you," I muttered. "Though it is a betrayal of my friends."
His breath hissed out between his teeth, anger returning to his face. "Why care for people who offer you poison when you try to protect them? Vankyar told me before she died that you had been poisoned in the haunted wood, by someone meant to follow you."
"It was only one woman, who hated me," I said. "A fallen priestess who used her Gift to harm. And I survived. She felt Galiena's Chosen should not be a baseborn bastard."
"How dare anyone speak to you in such a manner," Iceblade snarled, furious on my behalf, and on his own – who dared speak so of his bride. I touched his face, feeling his heat, to gentle him. "Dagar's Chosen is a bastard as well. If she wasn't dead I'd tear her to pieces myself." He nuzzled his face into my insubstantial hand. Desire rose in me again and I pulled my hand away.
He laughed darkly. "If I don't lay you under me soon, I will surely kill something out of frustrated lust alone." I winced, but I knew exactly what he meant. "I remember, you are going to kill me," he mocked. "But why not come to me first? You can always kill me afterward. I'll lay myself beneath your blade, docile as a sheep. Come to me, and I'll fill your womb." He stroked his hand over my belly and I shuddered with need. "You have wanted a child, my child, nearly all your life," he whispered, seductive. "Slip away from your village on the river now, tonight, and run to me. We could have days together before Dagar gives his sign."
His words tore me in half, between a longing that buried my good intentions and the sure knowledge if I ever let him touch me I'd never be able to raise my hand against him.
"I have to go!" I forced the words out, and fled from him.
Chapter 15
Dagar's Sign
Two days later we saw the sign. As the sun neared its apex, a darkness began to move across it. Over the hours that passed, the spot completely swallowed the light of the sun, covering its face and casting the land into a false nig
ht. The darkness slowly moved away from the Day's Eye in the late afternoon, lingering like a loving caress. As it passed, the full light of day returned.
I felt the fear in my people and stood on the walls to address them as the sun first began to darken.
"This is the sign of Dagar to His Chosen, but it is also our sign! The time has come. We move out within the hour, on to Lalinth and the destruction of the Hand of Dagar!" Some cheered, and I held up my hand to quiet them, smiling. "The Goddess stands behind us, we can not fail! Do not fear the sign of Dagar, it is only an omen of the end of Iceblade and the crows army!" This time I did not stop their shouts. Full of their righteousness, full of their sense of being touched by our Goddess, they ran to assemble all we needed on the village green. The horses were brought with their wagons and the donkey with its cart. Fiona gathered most of her helpers, leaving behind to care for our wounded a group that could amply do so without her supervision or the assistance of the other priests. Fiona and Gronwon were afforded places on one of the wagons. Everyone else lined up to march, girded in their armor, weapons at their sides and packs on their backs. The fire of the Good Queen filled their eyes.
Wind called down the barrier at the town gates, and with a cry of jubilation, we were off.
Iceblade and the crows army were much closer to Lalinth than we were. It was crucial to make haste. I climbed up onto the back of one of the wagons and gave myself over to the energy, taking what we needed without being able to spare much worry over the cost. We moved with inhuman speed during the day, but slowed somewhat in the night. In the darkness the energy became the property of Dagar, especially while the moon remained only a sliver. It was still possible for me to channel the energy I found, it was just harder to grab it.
I felt Iceblade's presence as close to me as if he sat beside me, though he did not show himself. We both felt a heady, resonating anticipation as our physical selves neared each other. The more I fought the feeling the stronger it grew.
We had no need to stop for food or rest while I was able to call upon the power of the budding Spring. I was given to know by the presence of the Goddess that the damage done in the taking of the energy would, in its own time, be regenerated and mended, though it was still important not to take more than we needed. In this way, for three days we traveled with out stopping, intent only on Lalinth and the battle that lay ahead of us. Behind us we left the same trail of broken rock and empty soil that had followed us to Oerlock.
In the darkened barely morning hours of the third day, I felt a terrible wrenching, the separation of my spirit from my body, and cried out as I fainted.
I was pulled to Iceblade's side. We stood on a hill looking down into a large, unwalled village of white stone. In the center of the village stood another hill, topped by a vast palace of the same white stone. The roofs were grey-blue slate, the windows were made of stained glass. Spires and turrets, towers and arches adorned the palace, a sprawling formal garden surrounded it. There were no moats, no walls meant for defense, this was a palace meant only to show the blessings of a peaceful land. It was the most beautiful building I'd ever seen.
"Look what I do for you, beloved," Iceblade said. He didn't turn to look at me, only gestured below us.
House by house, lane by lane, the city below us was being evacuated. Black painted soldiers moved through the streets silently, opening doors, and families flooded out. They were led away to the east, toward lands held by Iceblade, uninjured. No words or sounds passed between the soldiers or the families, I could not see how the families knew what they were to do.
"How?" I whispered.
"I asked the God for a boon to appease my bride, and He has spared the life of every family in the city of Lalinth. As long as they leave peacefully, they are all free to leave. The God has made it known to them."
"What about the city guard?"
"They sleep, to a man," Iceblade answered. "And most in the castle itself. No alarm will be raised by this. I will have to kill no one to give you this gift."
I watched as the exodus continued, eerily silent.
"I do this for you, my Ada, my untouched bride." He turned to face me at last. "The God told me they all deserved death for living under the shadow of Guin the Liar, but for you I have spared them all. The God saw my devotion and it pleased Him, as He is also devoted to His bride. He granted their lives for me to lay at your feet."
I looked at him, my eyes hungry for him, torn by hope this could mean I no longer held his death in my hands, that he had learned mercy and perhaps would stop with Guin's death, and the unwanted, undeniable knowledge that my duty had not changed.
"Tomorrow you will be here," he said. "Tomorrow we will meet on this hill. You are so close that I swear if I turn my head into the wind I can find your sweet scent. Tonight I ask nothing of you, because tomorrow at last I will know the silk of your skin and the stirring of your breath on my flesh. Tomorrow I will take you to that dark bower, and you will be my woman, my wife, bearing my child, untouched no more."
I turned away, back to the city below us, my hand covering my racing heart. I could not speak for need of him.
"Tomorrow you will tell me you love me," he said. "And I will taste at last your petal-soft mouth. So tonight I ask nothing of you. It is enough to know what awaits us with the next rise of the sun. Go now, and come to me tomorrow, as is our destiny." He traced the lines of my intangible face with his hand, his touch gentle, the passion it conveyed branding.
"Tomorrow," I agreed, sorrowing. "Tomorrow we will find our destiny, whatever it may be." I felt the pull of my own body again, and left my enemy lover there on the hill.
I sat up in the back of the wagon. Though I could feel the concern of my soldiers over my faint, Selas had kept them all moving. The old general walked behind the wagon, waiting for me to wake up.
"News?" he barked at me.
"Iceblade has evacuated the city of Lalinth. The families are safe. Within the castle I sensed that High King Guin was aware of his son's presence, though he had not yet mustered his guard or his army to meet with him, he may not have been able to. The city guard sleeps under the command of the God. I See that the High King will meet with Iceblade under a flag of parley today at noon."
"Will he be slain under that flag?" Selas asked.
"Iceblade will give him terms – the High King must recognize him as the Heir Apparent. King Guin will once again refuse out of spite of Deirdre and shame that the union had ever taken place. He will be allowed to return to the palace to say his goodbyes and marshal his defenses, but Iceblade will attack within the hour."
"How long will the palace hold against him?"
"It will not. Already Iceblade has spies inside Lalinth, no door will be locked against him. Until he is done on the battlefield, he will not move against the palace itself. But the palace is not the problem, the High King may take to the field against Iceblade, if he does so he will be slain before we can reach Lalinth. If he holes up with his family, they may yet live when we arrive."
"How many of the crows army await us there?"
"Around seven hundred. Iceblade has thousands more either holding the lands behind him or poised to sweep the rest of Dragon's Tooth, but he took only seven hundred with him to Lalinth. His brother is with him." My faced curled into a mask of hatred and revulsion as Tirith's image passed before my eyes.
"Can you See anything else?" Selas asked, his expression disagreeable.
"I cannot See the battle. I cannot See its end," I whispered, meeting his eyes. "I know only that chances exist either way. Remember your promise to me. If I would go to him as his bride..."
"I will slay you," he said curtly. "As there is no conceivable way I could hold you against your will."
I nodded my satisfaction at his answer. "I depend on you, Selas."
He grimaced even harder. "I will not fail you if I live," he said. "It's a vile duty but it falls to me and I will not fail in it."
"I know it pains you," I said ge
ntly. "But I also know you are the only hand that will take the life of the Chosen if it becomes necessary. Anyone else here would hesitate and be destroyed. And I know what it would cost you – the same who would hesitate for me would not hesitate to slay you for taking my life."
"I do not care if my life is the cost, and it will not come to that," he muttered, peevish. I recognized his deep level of agitation and anger came from his affection, even his fatherly love, for me, and I felt regret at placing this duty upon him. "If you don't have within you the steel to do what must be done, this is the time to grow it." Leaning closer, holding my gaze, his face stern as stone, he added, "But I know you do have it within you. My faith in the Goddess is tarnished from disuse and perhaps misuse, but I have faith in a few things. My abilities, the courage of a common man, and you, to name a few."
I managed a smile for him. "Then let us both take heart, and let us do what must be done, no matter what it means for either of us."
He tilted his head back in a backwards nod, then moved off to take his place at the head of our army. I turned back to channeling energy from the ground beneath us to our soldiers. If we kept up our pace, we would reach Lalinth mid-morning the day after Iceblade attacked. The battle would still be raging, and if the High King was prudent, he'd still be alive.
Lost in my work, separated from physical sensation by the rush of the energy, I was unaware of the passing of time. I knew we moved with great speed, and I knew the sun rose overhead by how easily the energy came, but anything else was lost to me. Visions of Iceblade and what he was doing came to me and flitted by like moths.
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