When I Fall in Love

by Susan May Warren

  The holiday dinner aroma could knock her over—roasted beef au jus, garlic mashed potatoes, freshly baked wheat dinner rolls. In her last trimester her appetite had returned with the ferocity of a wildebeest.

  Grace managed the kitchen—and her small staff—with the skills of a general. Raina watched her and for a moment wished she could be assembling the spring salad rather than manning the front lines.

  But she simply couldn’t move with the same speed as before. Maybe after . . . when . . . what?

  She hadn’t a clue what her life might look like by spring.

  Grace glanced up from where she stood plating baked Brie and crackers—appetizers for the guests. “Is the ceremony almost over?”

  “Ten minutes or so. How are we doing in here?”

  “Perfect.” Grace glanced at Ty Teague, down for the weekend from Deep Haven, helping out as a server. He looked debonair and festive, wearing a tux and white gloves, his curly dark hair freshly groomed. “We might actually pull this off.”

  “Of course we will,” Raina said. “I wasn’t sure for a moment, though.”

  Grace met her eyes, stricken. “Why? Oh no, did she have cold feet again?”

  “You knew about this?” Raina barely stopped herself from reaching for one of the plump shrimp curled around a champagne glass filled with spicy cocktail sauce. “She nearly didn’t walk down the aisle. Started asking me if I thought she should get married. As if I know.”

  She moved aside for Ty and Nash—one of Grace’s culinary school recruits—to deliver the appetizers to the parlor, where the reception festivities would begin.

  Grace finished plating the next Brie appetizer, then picked up oven mitts. She opened the oven. “She’s just hurting over her father’s death. It’s hard—losing him so close to the wedding.”

  “Yeah. Sad. I get it.” Sort of. After all, Raina had lost her father too. But he’d been in jail. And she hadn’t exactly kept in touch.

  “And she’s their only child. They really thought he’d beat the cancer this time—hence why they hurried the wedding. Kalen only met her this summer.” She checked the lasagna, then returned it to the oven. “Nearly ready.”

  Grace pulled off the hot pads. “I met her dad once, about three weeks before he passed. He was so proud of her—and really liked Kalen, which is saying something. He was so . . . I don’t know. Possessive is not the right word, but . . . doting? Maybe because they had to fight so hard to adopt Gina—I think they went to China three times before they finally brought her home. Gina said she was four, and by that time, she needed six operations to fix her leg. They spared no expense on her. I think she even graduated from Princeton.”

  Grace directed Aliya, one of her favorite assistants, to start bringing the salads to the dining room.

  Raina picked up two plates. “She never mentioned her leg.”

  Grace held open the door. “Yeah, she was born with a deformity or maybe was injured in birth. Anyway, she’s fine now.”

  Raina set the salad plates on the chargers. Glanced toward the wedding. “Beautiful, in fact.”

  Grace touched Raina’s hand, gave it a quick squeeze before she went back to the kitchen.

  Raina slipped her shoes on and headed to the double doors just as she heard the pastor announce the couple.

  No hint of regret creased Gina’s face as she held hands with her groom and walked back up the aisle. They disappeared for a moment into the parlor while the rest of the party exited, then returned to dismiss the guests. Raina directed the crowd toward the parlor for appetizers.

  “You look pretty tonight, Raina.”

  The voice startled her, and for a split second, in that place where she parked her dreams, she heard the deep tenor of Casper Christiansen complimenting her.

  When she turned, the man talking to her could be mistaken for him, with dark-brown hair, long behind his ears, and kind eyes.

  Except, no—this man had a beard and brown eyes and, well, belonged to Grace. “Thanks, Max,” Raina said.

  Maxwell Sharpe slicked up well in a black suit and silver tie. “My girl in the kitchen?”

  “Yes.” She reached out to touch his arm, stopping him. “But you are assigned to the parlor. You’re a guest, not staff.”

  He made a face at her, and for a second she thought he might disobey—after all, hockey players didn’t exactly mind their manners.

  But he surrendered to her words and disappeared to celebrate with the guests.

  And Raina surrendered, just for a second, to sinking down on the arching dark oak staircase. The piano and cello from the ceremony continued to play, and “A Thousand Years” lilted out.

  She ran her hands over her stomach, listening to the laughter from the parlor, the sweet music echoing into the hall, and drew in a long breath. Her throat ached. See, a girl with this many hormones flooding her body had no business at a wedding. It only conjured up too-tangible images of the man she’d driven away. The man she could never have. Not after the wounds she’d raked into his heart.

  And now just the flash of memory could stir up Casper’s smile, the feel of his summer-worked arms around her, and if she didn’t get herself under control, she just might end up in a puddle.

  She pressed her fingers under her eyes, shook him from her mind. He’d left—and who blamed him, anyway? She had to move on.

  Ty came out, carrying glasses of champagne. He glanced at her, frowning, his sweet brown eyes suddenly concerned. She shook her head, smiled, waved him into the parlor.

  “Raina, dear, thank you for your help in keeping Gina calm.” Michele emerged from the room, and Raina made to push up from the stairs. “Oh no—you sit. You have to keep that little bundle safe.” Michele slid onto the stairs next to her. “If my Steven were here, he’d be offering to rub your feet. He did that for all three of my pregnancies.”

  Raina glanced at her.

  “Oh yes, I was pregnant. Lost the last one at six months. I was never able to carry to term. But God had other wonderful plans.” She stared into her champagne, golden and glistening against the hall chandelier. Outside, the wind blew snow against the windowpane, rattling it. “Steven tried so hard to hang on until this day. Would have, if not for the staph infection. He went so fast.”

  Michele forced a smile. “Such a beautiful wedding, despite the storm. I think we might have a few overnight guests.”

  “It’s still early, and Grace has dinner ready—”

  “And it smells delicious.” She touched Raina’s hand. “So have you and your husband picked out any names?”

  Raina shook her head. Didn’t correct her. After all, what could she say? I have no husband? This baby is the result of a one-night stand? The enormity of her stupidity could take her breath away.

  “Nothing?”

  “I . . . can’t settle on anything.” Starting with whether she’d be the one naming her baby.

  “You never know when that baby might want to show up.”

  “As long as it’s not tonight,” Raina said, her hand running over her bulk as the baby decided to shift.

  Michele laughed. “Yes. That might add too much excitement to the evening. Happy New Year, Raina. I predict next year is going to be wonderful.”

  Raina managed a nod as the bride’s mother joined the party. No, the baby wasn’t coming tonight.

  Which meant she could figure out the rest of her life tomorrow.

  Click here to buy Always on My Mind.

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  SUSAN MAY WARREN is the bestselling, Christy and RITA Award–winning author of more than forty novels whose compelling plots and unforgettable characters have won acclaim with readers and reviewers alike. She served with her husband and four children as a missionary in Russia for eight years before she and her family returned home to the States. She now writes full-time as her husband runs a resort on Lake Superior in northern Minnesota, where many of her books are set.

  Susan holds a BA in mass communications from the University of
Minnesota. Several of her critically acclaimed novels have been ECPA and CBA bestsellers, were chosen as Top Picks by Romantic Times, and have won the RWA’s Inspirational Reader’s Choice contest and the American Christian Fiction Writers’ prestigious Carol Award. Her novel You Don’t Know Me won the 2013 Christy Award, and five of her other books have also been finalists. In addition to her writing, Susan loves to teach and speak at women’s events about God’s amazing grace in our lives.

  For exciting updates on her new releases, previous books, and more, visit her website at www.susanmaywarren.com.

  DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

  In her letter, Ingrid describes Grace as her clone, both physically and in her personality, her fears. Who in your own family are you most like? How have those similarities helped you to better understand that person—or yourself?

  Several of the Christiansens encourage, maybe even push, Grace to step outside her comfort zone. Did you see their encouragement as helpful or bordering on meddling? Have you ever had to similarly “encourage” a loved one? How did you decide how hard to push and when to let go?

  Max and his brother, Brendon, face the same diagnosis but make different decisions about how to live in the face of their eventual illness. Whose approach did you most understand or relate to?

  Even though Raina believes Owen is different from men she’s known in the past, she finds herself falling into a familiar pattern of behavior with him—one she had sworn not to repeat. Do you think it’s possible for a person to avoid making the same mistakes over and over? How? If Raina came to you for advice, what would you tell her?

  Casper sees Owen leaving town and secretly envies him. Do you think Casper is doing the right thing by staying in Deep Haven? Have you ever felt torn between your responsibilities and your dreams? What did you choose?

  Grace’s fears of stepping outside her predictable life crop up in a number of ways, holding her back from chasing her dreams, traveling to Hawaii, even trying new foods. How do you see her courage growing throughout the story? Where does she still experience setbacks?

  Max wants to make it to the hockey Hall of Fame to leave his mark on the world and let people know he was there. But Grace argues, “People know you were there because of the people you’ve loved.” Whose perspective do you agree with? What would it mean for you to leave your mark on the world?

  While Raina believes that a “good person” like her aunt Liza has earned the right to ask God for an abundant life, she knows “a girl like [her] had to make her own future.” Do you believe some people are more worthy of God’s help and blessing than others? Are you more inclined to ask God to direct your life or to make your own future?

  John warns Casper that “[Raina’s] been hurt and I don’t want you to think you can fix her. . . . That’s Jesus’ job.” Casper agrees but secretly hopes that God will use him to help heal Raina. How did you react to John’s advice? Do you think Casper was ultimately used for good in Raina’s life?

  When Max leaves her in Hawaii, Grace is devastated, believing that “she’d reached out—no, flung herself out—on this great adventure, and God had dropped her. Hard.” Has there ever been a time when you felt “dropped” by God? How did you respond? Looking back, does the situation look the same to you, or has your perspective changed?

  In this story, members of the Christiansen family begin to learn that Max was the one who accidentally injured Owen, ending his hockey career. Were you surprised by their response? If you found yourself in their position, would you be able to forgive Max?

  Max finally shares about his Huntington’s disease with Jace, who tells him that Grace has a right to know the truth. Would you have given the same advice if Max had come to you? Do you think Max was being selfless in sparing Grace or, as Jace suggests, trying to reject her before she could reject him?

  Max’s uncle Norm, who has watched a devastating disease ravage his family, gives his nephews this perspective: “Without suffering, we don’t need more; we have enough. But when we suffer, we can’t help but reach out. It forces us into God’s arms, and that’s where we find not only what we need, but more than we can imagine. We find Him.” Do you think that’s true? What results have you seen from periods of suffering in your own life? How have these times affected your relationship with God?

  What do you think the future holds for Raina? For Casper? For Owen?

  Grace faces the difficult decision of whether to love Max when it means an uncertain future, one far different from what she imagined for herself. Do you think she makes the right choice?