I Made You My First

by Threadgoode, Ciara

  Looking into my eyes he said, “These last two days I’ve gotten to fall asleep next to you have been incredibly amazing. When I woke up this morning and you weren’t there, it was the worst feeling in the world. I finally heard the shower, so I realized where you were, but I missed seeing your face next to me. I still can’t believe you’re really mine. Please don’t sneak out of bed again. Wake me up and kiss me before you go.” He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me against his chest. I could feel his heart beating he was holding me so tightly. I closed my eyes, and tried to take a breath. I could actually feel how genuinely upset he was.

  I opened my eyes and gently pushed him forward. “Irish, I’m sorry if I worried you. Let’s promise each other right now that we’ll always wake the other before leaving our bed,” I smiled consolingly. “I’m not going anywhere without you, I promise.” I held up my hand, showing him my ring. His eyes smiled warmly.

  He put his hands on each side of my face. “Thanks,” and he kissed my forehead with petal softness. I realized at that moment I’d never seen him angry. Was this Irish when he became irate? If this was his angry side, it sure would take some getting used to, especially since he hadn’t seen me angry yet, and it wasn’t pretty.

  Chapter Eleven

  Irish had the entire day off and wanted to make plans for our move. Almost ten days remained until he was supposed to relieve the person in charge at the construction company in San Francisco. He arranged to have my storage unit packed and moved by truck to our new house. I decided I wanted to get my driver’s license renewed and my name changed before we left the area. We agreed to use his La Jolla address rather than the San Francisco one because we only planned to be there a year. As I lay on the sofa looking at my driver’s license picture, Irish sneaked up and pulled the license from my hand. I jumped, trying unsuccessfully to snatch it back.

  He plopped down on the other end of the sofa smiling his devilish little grin. “Jurnee-Ciara-Sampson,” he sang. “Five-eight, brown hair, beautiful green eyes,” and I batted them for him, giving him a generous smile.

  “Why thank you, sir. I got these eyes from my daddy.”

  “I think we might need to leave this instant to go feed you,” he snickered.

  “What does that mean?” I huffed, throwing a pillow at him.

  “Well, one hundred and ten pounds is awfully thin,” and he reached for my thigh, pulling himself up my body until he was hugging my hips. We lay there enjoying each other’s touch.

  “Irish,” I said but he didn’t move. His head was lying right below my belly button.

  “Yes, Mrs. Thompson.”

  “Maybe I should ask Judy to take me to renew my license today,” I smiled and looked at the ceiling.

  He raised his head and I could feel his stare. “I’d love to accompany you. Why would you ask Judy?” and I could almost hear the hurt in his voice.

  I popped up. “Your mom told me when you were nineteen you managed to get three speeding tickets in one day,” and I threw the last pillow at him. “I figure there must be some sort of wanted poster of you in the DMV,” giving him a mocking grin. “I’d hate to be put on the no drive list just because I married you,” and I plopped down on my back smiling at my cleverness.

  He climbed up my body now, tickling me as he did. “I’m pretty sure they won’t hold that against you, Jurnee,” and he lowered himself to kiss my lips.

  I wrapped my arms around his neck, holding him close enough to whisper, “I won’t last a day without you, Irish,” and I softly kissed his ear.

  He lifted himself up on his arms above me, giving me a sincere smile. I took it in and studied every inch of his handsome face. Within moments he was no longer smiling and looked me in the eyes as he became serious. “Jurnee, I don’t ever want to live a day without you either. I know the song you’re quoting; I love playing it on my guitar, but I don’t ever want to go anywhere overnight again without you. If you can’t come with me, I won’t go. We’re a team, and you’re important to me.” He leaned down and kissed me lightly on the lips.

  It was a few hours later than we had initially planned, but we did eventually make it to the DMV. My temporary driver’s license now read Jurnee Ciara Thompson. Irish was beaming and talked me into driving the Mustang home. We hadn’t accomplished everything that we’d wanted to but it still turned out to be a great day.

  The next several days flew by and we managed to cross almost everything off our to-do list. We were going to make a quick trip to San Francisco tomorrow morning so I could see the house he’d purchased, and we could start selecting furniture. My excitement was growing.

  Judy had texted me from work telling me I had some mail at her house and come by to pick it up anytime, using her spare key if she wasn’t home. Irish suggested that I go visit her before our trip tomorrow.

  I left Judy a voicemail.

  Within minutes I received a text back: I get off at four o’clock today. Can we do dinner? I’ll pick up a pizza. Let me know. Love you.

  I sent her a text confirming our dinner date and went upstairs for a quick shower. Irish was downstairs on the phone discussing some work matters with his dad. Showered, dressed, and ready to go in twenty minutes, I was excited about seeing my friend. Hoping to beat the traffic, I grabbed water from the fridge, plunked my phone in my purse, and threw it over my shoulder. Irish, watching me, quickly ended his call and stood up. This was the first time we were separated in days and because of his many heartfelt requests never to be apart, I was actually a little nervous about leaving. Irish held out his arms and I quickly moved into them.

  “I won’t be long,” and I lifted my face from his chest to find his lips.

  He gently took both sides of my face in his hands and passionately kissed me. “Take your time and have fun,” he said. “I’ll take the truck to visit my mom, but I’ll be here waiting when you get home.” He winked and pulled me in for another quick hug. He walked me to the door and watched me climb into the car.

  This feels like some sappy movie where the child goes off to her first day of school, I thought. I waved goodbye and made my way to the main thoroughfare. I hit traffic just right as I screamed the words to the songs blaring on the radio.

  When I arrived at Judy’s, her car wasn’t there yet so I went around back to get the key. When I opened the glass door, I threw my purse on the sofa and sat down to send Judy a text that I’d arrived and was waiting for her and that yummy pizza. I wanted a smoke, so I picked up my cigarettes and phone, heading for the open patio door. I’d barely lit up when I heard a loud knock. I stared at the front door, considering whether or not to answer it. Judy wouldn’t knock and anyone could clearly see her car wasn’t here, so I decided to ignore it. Only seconds elapsed when I heard another set of loud raps.

  Maybe Judy ordered the pizza to be delivered, I thought? I crushed my cigarette in the ashtray and slowly headed for the door. I peeked through the peep hole into blackness. I leaned back and waited, trying to listen for any sounds or voices. Knock, Knock, Knock. I jumped and my heart pounded. I slowly leaned toward the peep hole again, still black. I slowly stepped toward the patio door. My pace to the door exaggerated the pounding of my heart. I wasn’t even halfway to the door when three more loud knocks sounded. I was almost running now. I closed the patio door and locked it. I took a deep breath, releasing some of the adrenaline racing through my body, standing there frozen, waiting to decide my next move. More loud knocks.

  Whoever was out there knows that someone’s here, I thought. That person must have seen me arrive and I was creeping myself out. My mind was all over the place. I slowly walked to the front door. Standing flush with the frame, I listened for a noise. Moments seemed like minutes but I finally talked myself into looking out the peep hole again. This time there was light. No one was there. I took a deep breath and exhaled, allowing my muscles to relax. My stomach felt nauseous as I slowly returned to the patio door. I could see my phone sitting on the outdoor table and I rushed my pace
a bit to get to it. Before I was halfway through the living room, the front door opened.

  Judy stood there and a feeling of relief flowed over me. When our eyes met, she wasn’t smiling but wore a panicked look. I froze. As the door opened wider, I could see someone behind her. I couldn’t make out anything about the person because Judy was standing directly in front of him. She had a pizza box and keys in her hands. Her expression never changed and I was starting to panic all over again.

  Finally the person pushed her forward and Judy took two giant steps toward me. I could see that it was a man but I couldn’t see his face. I could tell by Judy’s expression that she didn’t know him. I felt my body take two steps forward hoping to understand what was going on. The man behind Judy looked me in the face. I felt my eyebrows push together and my mouth fall open. His glare was the most horrible image I’d ever seen. He pushed Judy again and she took two more guarded steps toward me. It was then that I saw the light hit the knife at just the right angle and flash from the blade onto the wall.

  I couldn’t take my eyes off the knife. “Jurnee, long time no see,” suddenly came from his mouth. I couldn’t look at him because I was still staring at the knife and replaying in my head what he’d just said. I was confused. I didn’t know this man. He had long black hair and a scruffy beard. Looking at him now, I couldn’t see his build because he wore some sort of green army coat. He turned and closed the door. Judy didn’t move and neither did I. We were stuck in a time warp.

  With the front door closed he seemed to have more confidence and turned his body toward me. He walked past Judy and was only steps from me before he stopped. I stared at him. He was dirty and looked older than he probably was, and I only thought that because of his voice. I watched him slip the knife into his coat pocket. I looked over at Judy and she had a frozen blank expression. I turned back to the man and looking him in the face, I raised my hands laying them palms down across my chest.

  “What is it that you want?” I asked.

  He looked at Judy before looking back at me. “Jurnee, you really don’t recognize me, do you?” He laughed.

  I looked again but I couldn’t picture him. I tried looking in his eyes, hoping to get some spark of recognition. He looked like he’d been in the desert for years, he had so many wrinkles, and I couldn’t even tell the color of his eyes. He suddenly took a giant step forward. His hand disappeared into his pocket and I flinched.

  “Tell me who you are,” I said. At that moment, he turned just the right way and it clicked. It was Joe-Lee. My heart jumped. I felt a warm rush flow over my body and I was paralyzed. It was him. I looked at Judy and wanted to apologize. This was my fault. This crazy person was here because of me. I looked back at him and for some odd reason, knowing who he was now made me feel like I had some control.

  I needed to figure out why he was here. “What do you want Joe-Lee?” I asked. He looked at me, then turned and spit on the floor. My eyes didn’t leave his face.

  “Your brother called me a while back and said you were looking for me ‘cause I was the love of your life,” and he gave me a sick smile.

  My nausea returned. I took a deep breath but didn’t break eye contact. He took another step toward me. I stood firm. “Judy, could you put that pizza in the kitchen for me?” and I could feel her stare, but I didn’t look at her. “Go,” I said still looking at Joe-Lee. He continued his stare-down. Judy moved quickly to the kitchen, while I took a step toward him. He looked like a homeless person standing there, but I knew he wasn’t. John had said he found him living with a sibling, that’s the way he’d finally contacted him. I was hoping now to get all of his attention so that Judy could get out the patio door.

  “So what do you want to talk about, Joe-Lee?” I tried moving my hands to my hips to distract him, all the while keeping my eyes directly on his. My stomach was roiling and I could feel my hands starting to shake. He continued to stare at me, his eyes never leaving my face. It was as if he were trying to read me, to see if I was really pleased to see him or not. I finally smiled. He watched my face for another few seconds before smiling back. I tried to give him a look of compassion, all the while hoping that Judy was miles away from here, running as fast as she could.

  All of a sudden he started laughing at me. I froze, knowing I must have looked confused. I had no idea what to make of his outburst. “Are you married?” he scoffed, looking at my hand.

  I continued to stare into his eyes, “Yes, Joe-Lee, I’m married,” was all I could manage in response and I watched his face. His laughter stopped and his face turned solemn.

  “John didn’t say you were married. He said you wanted to see me that you thought about me all these years and wanted to be with me.” His hand in his coat pocket, he took a step closer. Before he could move nearer, I noticed the patio door open.

  I took a deep breath and turned back to him. “John knew that you were my first boyfriend and he was trying to make me happy. My aunt just passed away and I think he was really worried about me, thinking you’d console me. I’m really glad to see you.” I sincerely tried to show some enthusiasm while taking a deep breath to bring my voice back to normal.

  He stood there looking at me. I smiled to buy more time before continuing. He took his hand out of his pocket and before I realized it, he took a final step toward me only inches from my face. I pressed my hands on my thighs to keep them from shaking. His hands reached for my hips. Before he made contact, we heard sirens. His eyes quickly shifted straight to mine.

  Joe-Lee’s hands dropped and he looked at me questioningly. We both knew what was going to happen next; I just wasn’t sure what he was going to do. Within seconds the front door flew open and Joe-Lee froze. I stepped back, watching his hands with each tiny step backward. Before I knew it at least eight police officers were in the room. The intruder was up against the wall, his hands cuffed behind his back. I took a deep breath, throwing my hands over my face.

  I didn’t care about what had just happened. I only wanted Irish here with me.

  I felt Judy’s arms around my shoulders. “J.C., are you okay? I called Irish and John after I called nine-one-one,” she calmly said in just above a whisper.

  “Yes, I’m fine,” I answered. An officer approached and asked me to follow him. Sitting down, I stared at the flashing lights blinking on every wall in the room. I watched as they led Joe-Lee from the living room and out the front door. There were now people everywhere. I put my hands between my knees and rocked while answering the officer’s questions but my mind kept floating back to Irish. The minutes ticked by as I patiently waited. Just then I saw him come through the front door. I jumped to my feet and ran across the room. He reached for me and buried me in his body. I let myself melt into him and began to cry. I trembled uncontrollably but I was safe and secure.

  I barely heard Irish tell someone, “Not now.” I remained quiet, being sheltered in his arms. I could hear voices around me but I didn’t pay attention to what was being said. Minutes passed and I felt Irish guiding me outside, pulling my face up toward his. When I was able to focus on his eyes, it was obvious he’d been crying and that frightened me.

  Why would Irish be crying? I thought.

  Satisfied that I was okay, he pulled me back into his chest. I gladly stayed in his warm embrace. Soon the commotion lessened and I didn’t hear as many voices. Irish never let go. I could hear him answering questions from several different people, but he shielded and comforted me with his body.

  Suddenly I heard John’s voice and I felt Irish’s hold on me tighten. I thought my brother was talking to Judy because I could hear him apologizing. Irish’s hold tightened even more and I felt him begin to tremble. I wanted to look at his face but he was holding me tightly against his chest, making it difficult to move.

  “John, I’m asking you politely to get the fuck away from me. I don’t even want to look at you right now.” Irish loosened his hold on me. I took a deep breath, guessing that this was Irish angry. John must not have list
ened because I felt Irish’s hold loosen more. He took a step backward, bringing me with him, but guiding my body to his side. John was two feet from us and he wasn’t backing away.

  Judy was standing behind John coaxing him to come with her. I think my brother wanted to see that I was okay, but I wasn’t sure of anything at that moment. Within a split second, Irish released me and was on John before anyone could prevent it. My husband was visibly irate. He started punching John’s face until blood appeared. John wasn’t fighting back.

  Standing there frozen, I watched this one-sided confrontation happen and finally jumped to Irish’s side grabbing his arm, trying to stop him from severely hurting John. He struggled, but when he realized I was holding his arm, he finally halted. His whole body shook and when his eyes met mine, I knew he could see my frightened look.

  He dropped his arms and I wrapped myself around his body. “That’s enough,” I whispered. He stopped fighting me and I felt his body begin to relax. I held him, searching his face. “It’s all right, everyone’s okay,” I whispered soothingly.

  I looked at John, and Judy had gotten him a wet cloth, helping him wipe the blood from his face. He stared at the ground but wouldn’t look at me. I’m not sure how much time had passed but when I looked around, everyone had left. Judy walked John to his truck while Irish and I stood on the patio hugging each other.

  “Do you want to go home now?” I asked.

  He squeezed my arm. “Yes,” and he smiled, the first since coming into the house.

  As we walked into the living room, I grabbed my purse, remembering my phone was still on the table. Irish reluctantly let go of my hand so I could retrieve it. When we got to the car, Irish’s truck was parked next to it. “I’ll get the truck tomorrow,” he said and we both climbed into the Mustang. I saw Judy talking to John and waved goodbye.

  Irish didn’t say a word the whole drive home. I wasn’t sure if he was still upset about what had happened to me or ashamed of what he’d done to my brother. Either way, I held his hand and watched the cars whiz by in a blur of color.