A Moment Like This

by Leen Elle

  He should tell her. His mind screamed he should tell her. Neither of them was benefiting from this charade anymore. She needed someone there. Furthermore, it was breaking him watching her suffer from such a close distance. When he sat back down at his computer a giddy ding greeted him and he shifted her head degrees from straight. Questioningthestars had sent him a message. Why was a man contacting him?

  "What gotten into you, Shannon?" he asked her withdrawing his hand and straightening how he was sitting in his seat. "You're on pretty shaky ground to be making such bold moves."

  "I know, Aidan, but… I just want you to listen to me," she said biting her lip and pushing her shimmering mane behind her ear. Her eyes darted away from his.

  "Words can be conveyed without the use of hands."

  "But, Aidan, you don't understand," she pled with watering eyes, "I'm desperate. You have to…"

  "I don't have to do anything for you, Shannon," he told her bitterly, "as a matter of fact I'm doing you a favor by just meeting you here. Any wiser man would have stayed away."

  "I know," she whimpered, "I know but I just had to see you. When Austin found out about… about…"

  "Yeah, what about it?" he asked hoping not to have their mistake mentioned again; there was still a void there, a tender one.

  "He told me that if he had known..." Her continence crumbled and large tears rolled down her cheeks. Burying her face in her hands she sobbed quietly. Sensing the looks that had shifted their way she whispered, "Austin said that if he had known about Aven he never would have looked my way. He left me out in the cold, Aidan. I don't have anywhere to go."

  Promise didn't know about Aven either. Shannon looked so broken at the moment he could almost forget her vengeful temperament. Almost.

  A sense of responsibility choked him. Aven had been their son. At graduation Shannon had nearly been showing. She hadn't wanted to put the small child up for adoption but neither of them had the means to support him. Well he had but if his father had found out…

  Shaking his head he put the past out of his mind. "You knew we couldn't hide him forever."

  "But I thought it wouldn't matter to Austin. He told me he…"

  "Loved you? That's what you told me as well if I recall."

  "Please don't bring up the past, Aidan,"

  "Ah but, Shannon, it's what has brought us together once again." When she looked up at him with red rimmed eyes he sighed and got to his feet. Coming to stand beside her he pulled her gently to her feet. "Perhaps we should continue our business somewhere else. People are staring."

  Sniffling, Shannon grabbed her purse as he slipped some change onto the table for their coffee. As they turned to leave she wrapped herself about his arm and laid her head on his shoulder. Aidan frowned but led her out of the restaurant. His only joy that could come from this morning was that Promise hadn't seen him with Shannon. He could fib about not feeling well and postpone their date until later. Promise wouldn't have a problem with that.

  Aidan hurried to catch up with the familiar silhouette that was exiting the hospital. Promise wasn't returning his calls and the only person he could think to probe about her was her childhood playmate, Dr. Frankenstein. He was competition but if he worked this right Mr. Minstrom would never be the wiser about his persisting troubles with Promise.

  "Colin," he called on ahead stopping the coroner in his tracks; the addressee turned about and raised an eyebrow.

  "Yes?" he asked from where he had paused on the sidewalk.

  "May we talk?"

  "If this is about how you think I'm stealing Promise away from you I swear…"

  "No, no it's not about that," Aidan assured him, "it's just she's not talking to me and I can tell there's something bothering her."

  "Well if she didn't see fit to tell you don't think I will." Aidan turned awkwardly to go hearing from behind him, "I wish I could give you the displeasure that it was you who was bothering her but I can't; she's not talking to me either."

  Aidan took a small measure of comfort in the fact that knowledge she hadn't divulged her secret to the grim reaper but in the large scope of things it was a negligible benefit. She still wasn't talking to him and he still didn't know why.

  "I'm here to see Mrs. Helen," a voice told her patiently as if repeating itself. Promise started looking up from her absentmindedly filled out sheet. Another piece of work to recheck she frowned. She smiled slightly seeing Colin beaming down at her.

  "She's been waiting for you all morning," Promise informed him, "bur I'm afraid you're in the wrong wing if you're here to see Mrs. Helen."

  "I suppose I've been caught, "Colin grinned sheepishly.

  "Caught?" Promise echoed in inquiry.

  "I came to see you more than Mrs. Helen," he told her slipping back behind the nurses' station. He pushed a roller over in front of him and sat down in it across from her. "I'm worried about you."

  "I can't talk about this now, Colin," she chided in a wavering voice, "I've got work to do, patients to see, and files to, well, file. I don't have time to…"

  "You're not even making an effort at being discreetly evasive," he observed out loud as he watched her roll about and file.

  "I'm tired of games," she told him with mournful eyes, "I've had enough games for a lifetime."

  "What are you talking about, Promise?"

  Her lower lip quivered but she pulled up tight and straightened from her chair. "I told you I can't talk, Colin. Please let me get back to my work." She bustled out of the nurses' station and down the hall, turning back when one of the elder men went to rise from his chair. After chiding him she hurried on to the dinning rooms filled with hungry noonday patients, leaving him to find his own way to the dementia unit.

  When he arrived there he checked in at the desk. Mrs. Helen was in her room, he was told. She had been moping since lunch because he wasn't there. He gave the nurse an amused smile and headed to room number one twelve. Mrs. Helen brightened the instant he entered the room.

  "You came!"

  "I promised I would," Colin reassured her returning her smile. "Did you take your pills for Prick today?"

  "Prick?" The older woman sounded horrified. "That's how you refer to your girlfriend?"

  "She's not my girlfriend," he felt in inclined to begin, "and as for her nickname… what's wrong with it?"

  "Do you know what it means?" Her horror hadn't decreased.

  "It doesn't mean anything; it's a nickname. I thought because she was poking holes in people all day it was appropriate." He added in a thoughtful tone, "I think she'd get nervous if I actually called her Promise."

  "Well I suppose if you explain it that way," Mrs. Helen sighed, "it's not too bad."

  Smiling Colin moved deeper into her room and began running his eyes over the interior. It was homey and inviting considering where the tiny room resided. He'd always thought of nursing homes as sterile and austere. There were still times he thought he'd rather be determining his own cause of death than living in one.

  When his eyes settled on her nightstand he glimpsed a black and white of a man and woman both very smiling happily. The picture didn't look as old as it looked he pondered as he scrutinized their dress.

  "That's a picture of Henry and I," she said with a nostalgic sigh as she picked the frame up and caressed the picture with her finger, "Henry and I thought it would be delightful to get our twenty fifth anniversary photo done like old times. Oh, but I'm being silly." She said, waving of her actions. "Now did you remember to give that rose to Miss. Promise yet?"

  "I haven't given it to her yet. It's not her birthday for several months and if I just gave her one she'd think…"

  "That's the whole idea, young man." Mrs. Helen chortled at his expense. "It's obvious to all us old folks about here you've got your eye on our Miss. Promise. You young folks are so shy. She'll never know you love her until you tell her and I would tell her," she reiterated, "someone else is going to snatch her up if you just keep your mouth shut like that.
"

  "Someone else already caught her eye," he confessed, all the while internally demanding to know why he was telling this nosey old woman his plight.

  "All the more reason to speak up young man!"

  "She's made her choice."

  "But you do not approve of him," she observed as she laid her wrinkled hand on his. "He's not good enough for your Promise right?"

  "She's not my Promise."

  "Well I can promise you this," Mrs. Helen said in a huff that told her patience was waning, "unless you speak up, she never will be." Nodding her head for emphasis she bustled over to card table and pointed a nail down at the box-looking rise on the surface. "Up for a rousing game of Yatzee?"

  Romantic advice and rousing games of Yatzee…what had he gotten himself into?

  Saw your profile handsome. No picture sharp shooter? Well I like a man with mystery. Say, was wondering if you'd like to get together sometime and… talk about this major crush you have on Sey. Talk about obsessive! You're stalking her man. If I were her I'd be afraid.

  Speaking of afraid probably had you going there for a moment there didn't I? Don't pee your pants or nothing man it's just me… drum roll, smoke, and drama Dante.

  Michael wasn't sure whether that was a relief or a greater horror. A misguided male he could block easily enough but Dante… He'd have to deal with Dante no matter what. He was hesitant to type a reply but once he had reread the message it was easy enough.

  You've got serious issues, Dante. But that widely known fact aside what I do or do not feel about Selah isn't any of your business. I don't know why you contacted me. We have nothing to talk about.

  Michael shrugged off the small sense of guilt that he received with the next message. Dante was just worried about her. They both were.

  Way cold, man. I was just contacting ya to see if Sey was talking to you. She's giving me a colder shoulder than you are. I haven't seen her since that day at the Daisy. Do you have any news about her? Please Mikey, I'm desperate. You gotta know how much begging like this is hurting my pride.

  Michael smiled wanly at Dante's admittance of his injured pride. The man must be desperate to include such a humbling statement. Had Selah really not talked to him since Haruko's outburst? 'That day at the Daisy' was how they had all come to refer to it.

  She hasn't mentioned it to me except to ask me how my bruise was healing. I've only seen her once at the café since then. She called to confirm an order but otherwise all's been quiet. She hasn't talked to Michael in days.

  His reply flicked back with the speed of lightening.

  What about ShatteredEden? Has she told him anything?

  Michael hesitated in reply then typed the simple truth.

  Just that she's hurting, Dante. She's hurting real bad and she's scared.

  When Promise arrived home that night she kicked off her shoes and massaged her feet gently yet deeply in hopes of removing some of the ache. Another busy night. Laying her head back against the couch, she lowered her foot to the ground and rubbed her weary eyes. Alex mewed at her side and Promise reached out half blind to soothe the cat into allowing her another moment to recover. As Alex persisted Promise groaned and pulled to her feet.

  She shuffled into the kitchen after her feline counterpart and began her routine. Get the cat food out of the cupboard, get her bowl out from under the sink, open the can, dump the food in and, finally, wash the can out and dispose or it in the recycling. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Why did history repeat itself?

  As she turned to stumble back to her room, the sounds of Alex gorging herself in the background, she spotted the red message light flashing against the black of her answering machine. Sighing and deciding whatever the message was it couldn't make her night worse she pushed the button to humor herself. It beeped at her once then a mechanical voice relayed, "One new message. The third of April, 8:23 PM…"

  "Hey Promise, this is Aidan…"

  Alex looked up from her evening meal when she heard the stopping beep from the message machine. Cocking her head she meowed in what some might have construed in a questioning tone. Taking a deep breath Promise laughed at her hastiness; Aidan didn't even know what she had seen. She pressed the play button again as Alex watched her hold her breath.

  "Hey Promise this is Aidan. I was calling to make sure everything's okay. You never showed up at the Half Shell and now… I'm kind of getting worried. Did I do something? I want to make it up to you if I did. I… I… love you, Promise. Please call me so we can talk. You know my number."

  Had that been hesitation in his voice? Promise wanted to believe there hadn't been, but when she replayed the message there was. Intentional, unintentional, or unimportant he hesitated in saying he loved her.

  They really did need to talk though, her mind reminded her; she couldn't run forever. But she was tired of… she was just tired. Rubbing her temple she forced herself to let out her pent up breath and drew another in. Slipping her nursing jacket off her shoulders, Promise started down the hallway that led to her room. Reaching the side of her bed she tossed the sheets aside and fell onto the wedge of powder blue she had created. Sleep. That was what her weary body needed. All she needed to do was sleep.

  However no matter how many times she blinked her eyes never closed. She tossed and turned several minutes before rising and reentering her small kitchen. Extracting the glass of milk from the fridge Promise warmed it and sipped its contents leisurely. Her eyes soon drooped and she dumped what remained of her mug down the sink. Her jogging mind paused to catch its breath and in that moment she sought her bed. Her mind surrendered, a bit grudgingly, to sleep knowing that the defeat was temporary. When morning broke it would have regained its full capacity; then it could really start to intrude in upon her misguided sense of peace.

  As Promise walked by her answering machine again a couple days later she remembered the message Aidan had left her. She hadn't been brave enough to call Aidan back. But, taking a deep breath she told herself, why put off for tomorrow what you can put off indefinitely. No, she chided, why put it off any longer? Things were just going to get more awkward the longer she waited to confront him.

  Putting the phone to her ear Promise dialed Aidan's number and waiting, chewing on her lip in anxious suspense. "Hello, Aidan here. Well not really here," his answering machine began to ramble. "I'm away for the weekend on business. If it's an emergency call my cell. If you feel like chatting leave me a message; I'll get back to you on Sunday when I return."

  Promise held her breath and waited for the beep. Aidan's voice interrupted again first, "oh yeah, heh, wait for the beep."

  "Hey Aidan this is Promise. I know it seems like I've been avoiding you but… things have been busy," she fibbed after the aforementioned tone had sounded, "You're right; we need to talk. Call me so we can set up a time. You know my number."

  Obviously he did; he had been the one to call her. She'd gotten nervous about what to say further and simply ended it with the first thing that came to mind. She sighed and pulled her hand away from the phone. Alex rubbed gently up against her leg pleading quietly for her deserved meal. After sufficing the cat, Promise grabbed the envelopes she needed to mail and dressed for work. A car horn honked as she made her way out the door.

  Craning his neck downwards Colin managed to make out Promise's feet hurrying down the steps. She had donned her work dress he noticed at least she hadn't forgotten about that. When she saw him sitting in the drive way she took the last step wrong and semi-collapsed down to the ground level. Bracing herself against the railing she grimaced, twirling her ankle about slowly. Colin scrambled out of his car and over to where she stood; he couldn't help feeling guilty.

  "Are you alright?"

  "Just tweaked it a bit I think," she diagnosed setting the ailing limb down on the ground, "what are you doing here at this hour? Shouldn't you be at the… It's Saturday, isn't it?"

  Colin nodded. "I figured if we were both going to the same place and (company) offer to drive you.
" "Now I wonder if you can drive."

  "It's not all that bad, Colin. I could drive."

  "Could but will?"

  "After you came all this way I'll go with you. No use in taking two cars with the price of gas, at least not today when you're already here."

  Grinning Colin hurried to open her door for her and motioned for her to enter the vehicle. "Your carriage waits."

  Smiling she climbed in favoring her one ankle ever so slightly, he noticed.

  Once they arrived at Sun Set Hills (?) Colin led the way inside. Promise settled down at the nurses' station and Colin told her to have a good day then headed off to find Mrs. Helen. When he entered the little woman's room she was already seated at the table which was covered by multiple board games.

  "I could tell you were bored stiff playing the game I chose," she explained at what must have been a baffled and denying look from him, "perhaps you would like to pick the game this week? I got out all the games I had. Had to get down in the low cupboards for that. I tell you these knees ain't what they used to be."

  "You didn't have to do that Mrs. Helen," Colin responded, "I could have done that for you when I came."

  "Let an old woman do what she can; I'm not lame you know. Well it's done now so stop your chit chatting and sit down."

  "You came!" Adelie bubbled upon seeing her enter the café. "I didn't think you were coming when you didn't return my call."

  "You must have thought there was a chance," Promise pointed out (dully) as she sank into her booth across from her friend, "you're here."

  "I figured you'd call or come because it was about the book; since you didn't call I figured you'd come. And I figured right! Plus, it's been so long since we talked. How have you been? Any rings on fingers? New white dresses in closets? I know it's still too soon to ask but… Promise, what's wrong?"

  "Nothing's wrong I mean…" As she fiddled with her old ring Promise tried to come up with a white lie for her behavior but she couldn't. How could she lie to Adelie when all Aidan's lies had done were cause her pain? "I saw Aidan with another girl (last week)."