Out of Cake Aphrodite (The Goddess Chronicles Book 6)

by S. E. Babin

  Staring at the knowing gleam in his eyes this man knew exactly who I was. The question was, who the heck was he? I sighed and plopped down into the chair opposite him. He hadn’t hit me with any magic yet, but the night was still young.

  Longest. Halloween. Ever.

  The man grinned, his white teeth mostly concealed under the sheer bushiness of his massive beard. But I could see his cheeks push up and his eyes crinkle at the corner. It was like the Brawny paper towel guy in the flesh. Maybe a little older but he had the same theme going on. Missing the flannel shirt, though. I wondered if I should mention that to him.

  Probably not.

  “Can I help you?”

  He leaned forward in a casual way and rested his crossed hands on his knees. The look he gave me was probing and searching and it made me feel exposed and vulnerable.

  “You know my son.”

  I knew a lot of sons. “You’re going to have to elaborate.”

  “Hades. You’ve been working for him for a little while now.”

  I almost swallowed my tongue because there was no freaking way. No. Freaking. Way. This couldn’t be who I thought it was.

  Could it?

  “Oh yes,” he said in a quiet, deadly tone. “I’m exactly who you think I am.”

  Artie turned wild, helpless eyes to me.

  God or...the Christian God. Not Zeus. Or Cronus. Or...I rubbed my palms against my eyelids.

  “Well,” I croaked out, “what a pleasant surprise. May I offer you some tea?”

  God snorted in amusement and leaned back in his chair. “Please relax. I am not here on any official sort of business. Not really.”

  Easy for him to say. I was at the point where I didn’t know if I’d ever relax again. And here I thought I had a break when I switched from Zeus to Hades.

  “So no tea, then?”

  One decisive shake of his head sent his majestic hair fluttering against his massive shoulders. I wanted to laugh at the absurdity of it all.

  “I do know your son,” I said after I stifled the hysterical giggle welling up inside me.

  “Quite. He seems....taken with you.” He paused before finishing his sentence.

  I tilted my head in curiosity and wondered where he was going with this. The only thing I could think of was our impromptu makeout session but then that morphed into well how did he find out about that? And then that devolved into Abby you’re an idiot. You’re sitting in the presence of an omniscient being, one who obviously has more power in his little finger than you do in your entire body and you’re wondering how he managed to find out about your little smoochy smooch?

  A frozen smile appeared on my face while my brain struggled to form the proper words. How did he feel about premarital shenanigans?

  I scratched my nose and wished a hole would appear in the ground and swallow me up.

  I finally went for honesty. “I don’t think that’s quite the case. I helped him out with an...issue and he hired me for some future work.”

  He gave me a patient smile that told me he knew I was lying through my pretty little teeth.

  “You know who I am, Aphrodite. I don’t think you should waste my time lying to me.” His words were gentle. His tone was not.

  I was screwed.

  “Fine.” I blew out a breath. “I got angry at a party and turned my glamour on full blast and it affected...everyone.” I paused and turned my gaze to his curious one. “Including Hades.”

  “Ah, I see.” And the problem was I knew he could see. Right through to my confused little heart and my muddled thoughts.

  “You are aware he is otherwise married?”

  I laughed helplessly. “I apologize for affecting your son’s judgment. It was never my intention.” I swallowed hard. “It will never happen again.”

  He scratched the side of his face and studied me. With a simple wave of his finger, magic swelled in the air. Artemis disappeared from the room.

  I stiffened in my chair. A trickle of alarm began to beat its way through my veins.

  He raised a hand. “Fear not. She is fine. I just wanted this opportunity to speak with you. Privately.” He stood.

  I tensed in my chair. “You could have just asked her to leave.”

  God shrugged. “It was more fun this way.”

  I eyeballed him. What was this guy’s deal?

  “Have you ever meet Persephone?” he asked, his tone mild and completely unconcerned with the disappearance of my friend.

  “A few times.” I’d met a lot of people during my day but getting to know Persephone on a personal basis had always eluded me. Of course, it was hard not to hear rumblings about those two, but when I did hear something it was always something positive. I thought they were in love. Now I wasn’t quite so sure.

  “She does not suffer amnesia like my son told you.” He walked around my kitchen examining things as if he were in a foreign country and had no idea what a pot was. Perhaps he didn’t. Was God even married?

  I blinked in surprise. “Is Hades aware?” He shouldn’t have been telling me these things. He should be telling his son.

  “Hades is more aware than you give him credit for.”

  Which told me absolutely nothing except something I already knew.

  “I’m not sure why you’re here.” I was ready to go soak in the tub for about a week. I wanted everyone gone.

  He put down the fork he’d been studying in great detail and turned to me. “You have had a strange life, Aphrodite. At first vain and needy. Vicious and cruel.”

  I made a noise of dismay. Who wanted their past regurgitated by a stranger in their kitchen? Not this girl.

  He smiled at me. “Then something happened. You turned the corner a bit. You became more sensitive to the plight of others. Less inclined to participate in cruelty. Yet still so very, very vain.”

  I glared at him. “Thanks.” My tone was clipped and dry.

  He chuckled. “I haven’t finished. And then you fall into a trap set by the immortals themselves and you come back to the world you so disdain. Why is that?” He picked up a rose quartz salt shaker Clotho had given me and studied it. “Why have you not used the spell Zeus gave you?” His stormy gaze met mine. “Why are you still immortal, precious Abby and not walking among the humans?”

  I swallowed hard. My heart beat like hummingbird wings in my chest. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  He crushed the quartz in his hand much to my dismay and the pieces of pink mixed with the tiny grains of sea salt fell into a pile on my counter. He picked some of the mixture up and held it in his palm. “This is life. These grains of rock and crystal. These tiny particles represent moments and time. And every single day, they fall away from you.” He tipped his palm slightly, allowing several grains to slip out of his hand and tink almost silently to the counter top. “And yet, you hold immortality so all the grains of rock and crystal mean less and less to you each day. Because you know you have more. You always know you will live forever.” He let the rest of the mix fall. “Is this why you hesitate? Is this why you won’t take that step? Are you afraid of the world, Aphrodite? Of what humanity will do to you?”

  “I - I’m not sure how to answer that.” I sat up straighter in my chair. “Nor am I sure how it is any of your concern.”

  He stepped out of my kitchen, sat down beside me and positioned his body so he faced me. I longed to inch away from him. “My son is not immortal.”

  I scoffed. “Of course he is.”

  “No. He is something more.”

  “More how?” I asked, genuinely curious. And why had he changed the subject away from Persephone?

  “He is a product of me. A product of divinity. He is built from the skies and the land, from misdeeds and heroics. He will never be just immortal.”

  “You’re losing me,” I said.

  God chuckled. “Persephone is not a good match for him.”

  And now we were back to her again. My head was spinning. “Okay?” I had no idea w
here he was going with this.

  “You will leave Persephone alone. You will leave her to her own devices and you will tell Hades she has no wishes to come home to him.”

  Indignation bubbled within me. “I will not.”

  “Oh darling. You will.” With a faster movement than I’d ever seen any of the immortals ever exude, he reached for me and gently tilted my face towards his. “You will do this.”

  I yanked my face out of his warm hands. “I. Will. Not. You have no dominion over me.”

  He chuckled but it wasn’t with amusement. “I have dominion over everyone and everything.”

  There was only one other question. “Why? Why are you asking me to do this?”

  “Hades cannot see what I can see. My son needs a strong queen. A strong advisor to stand by his side. That person is not Persephone.”

  “It is Persephone. Made in pact and witnessed by Zeus himself.”

  “The pact is a fraud.”

  I stared at him. “What does that even mean?”

  “It means, my darling, that my son and his beautiful, vain, weak bride were never married in truth.”

  My mouth gaped open like a fish. The impact of this was tremendous. “Does Hades know?”

  “He will. Prepare yourself, Aphrodite. You will soon lead the Underworld. You will soon stand by my son’s side and become his Queen.”

  I stood abruptly and waved my hands around like an angry fishwife. “Wait. Whaaat?” I screeched. “All this strong queen crap and you’re talking about me?” Shock beat at my core. “No. No no no no. Absolutely not!” I had enough of my own personal drama to deal with.

  “I am pledged to another,” I said weakly, which was kind of and kind of not true.

  “Your pitiful challenge?” God scoffed. He actually scoffed.

  “Those are ancient promises and cannot be reneged upon.” They could but I wasn’t willing to lose my honor especially to a cockamamie scheme this dude was coming up with.

  He stood, towering over me. “And you will not renege. But be forewarned. Typhon will not win the challenge for your hand.”

  “I have no interest in your son,” I said, but I knew I was lying. “And he has no interest in me. He has set me upon the course to find his wife and bring her back. And I will.”

  His face ran a myriad of emotions and he finally speared me with a thoughtful look. “Sometimes when we are confronted with a truth one does not want to acknowledge, other players need to merely step aside and let the chips fall where destiny has guided them. My son is eerily similar in his convictions. Consider this, child. Have you ever thought about what your life would be like if you stepped away from the world you continually plunge yourself in?”

  Every single day, I thought.

  The intensity in his gaze told me he knew the answer to that question as well as I did.

  “Then think upon this and know should you choose to play ball with me you shall want for nothing. You shall lead a new world. And you shall stand next to my son deeply in love and joined to him in hope and happiness for the rest of your days.”

  I blew out a breath. “Love magic isn’t always true love. It’s coercion. You can’t take two people without any interest in each other and make a lasting match happy. It will fall apart at the seams.”

  God pulled me close to him and kissed me on the top of his forehead. “Oh Aphrodite. How much you have to learn, child. I see these things and I know.” He tilted my chin up so I met his gaze. “There is no magic needed. No coercion. Only a foundation. I know this to be true.”

  He stepped away from me and I rubbed my hands over my arms to ward away the foreboding chill his words caused me.

  Impossible. It was impossible. I was still in love with Hermes. An attraction did not a love match make.

  “Enjoy the rest of your Halloween,” he said. In a frenzy of gray and cloudy cool wind, he disappeared.

  “What the hell just happened?” screeched Artie as she appeared in the room, brandishing her staff like a katana.

  I sighed, a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. “I have no idea. But it wasn’t good.”

  I would just have to stick to the plan. Find Persephone. Bring her home. Void my contract with Hades. He’d already spoken of it anyway because of my deal with Typhon. He couldn’t help his father’s meddling.

  “One minute I was sitting here having a holy shit I’m talking to God kind of moment, the next I’m in my own house, reading a Harry Potter novel. And I couldn’t get out my chair! It was like I was strapped in but there were no straps!” Her violet eyes burned with confusion and anger. “Are you okay?” she finally asked me.

  “I’m fine.” But I wasn’t hanging out here any longer. I had no use for any other unauthorized visitors and their crazy shenanigans. “What do you say we head downtown and finish off the rest of this Halloween in style?”

  I could tell she was dying to ask me about eight million other questions, but she held her tongue. “What do you want to be?” she asked carefully.

  “Anyone but myself,” I murmured.

  Chapter 10

  Artie and I wound up at the Squawking Parrot, a bar we hadn’t been to since we’d gotten tangled up in Dionysus’ bad side several months ago. It was just as loud and as bright as I remembered. I had to walk sideways through the door because of my enormous pixie wings. One iridescent wing whacked the edge of the door sending multi-colored glitter spiraling through the air. Surprisingly that made me happy. Nothing could cheer a girl up like copious amounts of glitter. Artie choked behind me and mumbled a few curses under her breath but she followed me in to mingle with the masses.

  Booming music shook the walls of the club. It pounded through my body and my heart. Tension bled out of my shoulders, slow and easy. I did an awkward shuffle and turn so I could see my friend. A reluctant grin slid across her face.

  “You look ridiculous,” she said.

  I returned her grin. “I know!” I’d twirled my hair up and let certain pieces fall in cascades of spiral curls. Glittery pink and gold makeup in a swirling pattern covered most of my face. I wore a gauzy garment of pink and gold, and left my legs bare but covered in more glitter. Enormous wings covered my back and if the air conditioner blew just right they would flutter slightly, releasing a cloud of glitter on unsuspecting party goers.

  Artie, on the other hand, had stayed true to her geekdom. She’d dressed as the Morrigan from the Dragon Age games. I’d tinted her hair to a deep black-blue and swirled it into a high bun, leaving only wisps of straight bangs coming across the side of her forehead. She wore black leather fitted pants, high boots and a shirt that wasn’t really a shirt. It was a cleverly draped cut of fabric that swooped around the edges of her chest. Underneath that was a minuscule black leather bra. A single raven wing peeked over her right shoulder and in her hand she carried a tall staff with limbs branching out from the top of it.

  I hesitated to help her when she told me what she wanted to be because if God could show up in my living room who’s to say a pissed off Morrigan couldn’t? But...she looked hot and was having fun being a huge nerd, so I’d helped her put it together. With the help of pictures, of course. I’d never even heard of the video game before today.

  We made a motley pair - me, covered in glitter and gold dust and her covered in shades of blood red and black. It was par for the course with us.

  We carefully made our way over to the bar and who could blame me if I used a little burst of magic to clear a path for us? It was crowded and we were thirsty. None of these people could say they had the kind of Halloween I’d had, so I didn’t feel too guilty about it.

  Moments later we had frosty drinks in our hands and a view of the stage where the costume contest was moments away from beginning. I thought ours were pretty great, but neither of us had thought to sign up when we walked in. I was content to sit here and sip a drink all night if it kept me out of the way of the other gods.

  It was loud enough and Artie and I were comfortable enough wit
h each other that we didn’t feel the need to talk much. We sat back, enjoyed people watching and waited for the contest to start.

  And when it did…

  Oh boy.

  The first few costumes were pretty lame - sexy witches and nurses bought from those cheap catalogs where everything is made with trash bag material. Those received the appropriate amount of catcalls and wolf whistles until they were unceremoniously shuffled from the stage to make room for the next wave.

  A few good puns, some creative paranormal creatures, and a few celebrities passed through and it was time for the last wave.

  I gasped so hard I choked on my fruity drink and spent the next few priceless seconds with my head between my knees.

  “Typhon,” I gasped from between my legs when Artie asked me what was wrong.

  “What?” she yelled in my ear.

  I sat up abruptly, trying to clear my throat from the shock I’d just had.

  “TYPHON!” I yelled at her and pointed to the stage.

  The man who’d had a hand in ruining my relationship with Hermes was on stage. But he wasn’t dressed in a costume. Of course, no one except for Artie and me knew that. Gasps of shock and whispers of awe rattled around us as he stood on the stage, a self-satisfied grin on his face. He walked upon two coiled serpents. No. He glided upon those serpents. I winced in horror as he strode across the stage. Zeus was going to find out about this and he was going to strike Typhon down.

  I was certain of it.

  Artie’s gasp of surprise echoed my own. “Oh shit,” she murmured. “Zeus is going to kill him.”

  The insanity of it and this night began to wear on me. A laugh bubbled up in my throat. “But I bet he wins the contest.”

  “Abby!” Artie exclaimed. “That’s terrible.”

  But I didn’t miss the smirk that appeared on her face just as fast as it disappeared.

  He’d shrunk down his height. I guess he had to do that to be able to fit in the building. He’d also made some aspects of his monster form less...monstrous. So as not to scare the children I suppose. His chest was massive and covered in red and golden scales swirled in a spiral pattern. They disappeared around his waist, no doubt to curl around his muscular back. Golden wings spread from behind his back and engulfed the majority of the stage, forcing him to step to the back of his competitors. The man was beautiful. Gorgeous beyond compare. But there was no way someone would be able to make a costume like this without a massive budget. Or magic. From the looks his competitor’s was giving him on the stage, they knew it too.