Taming Dex
Page 24
She laughs too. “Covering your eyes.” She puts one leg around me and I hold it, then the other. She really weighs nothing so I don’t have a problem carrying her. What I do have problems with is when her dainty fingers cover my eyes. “Do you trust me?” she asks softly.
“Yes,” I admit.
“You’re on very flat, even ground. I want you to take five steps forward and then go ahead and turn to your right.”
I do as she asks on shaky legs. I don’t want to fall with her on my back, ironically it’s not me I’m worried about getting hurt. It’s her I’m worried about.
“Keep walking.”
“How many steps?” I ask.
She giggles. “Until I tell you to stop.” I shift her, adjusting her on my back and she squeaks when my fingers brush along her ass.
I walk forward for a couple minutes before she finally tells me to stop. “Turn to your right, but don’t walk anywhere.” I do as she’s asked and turn. “Ready?”
I can hear the excitement in her voice. “Yes,” I say softly and her hands come away from my eyes. But I keep them closed. “Can I open my eyes?”
She giggles and I can feel her kiss the back of my head. “Yes.”
I do and standing before me is a mountain of stairs that lead up and into the Lincoln Memorial. The lights are still on but I am noticing now that the columns are a little bit lighter. It’s pretty, don’t get me wrong. “I figured you’d want to be able to see the stairs.” She giggles again. “Climb, drummer boy,” she teases and I pretend to drop her and she squeaks. I start to climb with her on my back. “You can let me down, you know?”
“I know, but princesses don’t walk,” I say and she laughs again. Where the hell that came from, I have no clue.
“I’m no princess,” she says softly.
“To me, you are, and that’s all that matters,” I say and I’m about three-fourths of the way up.
“This should be good,” she says. So I stop. “Now that I’m sure you’re thoroughly convinced that this is what I brought you here for, and we’ve arrived just in time, turn around,” she says and I do just as the sun crests the horizon behind the Washington Monument. The sky lights up in magnificent yellows, oranges and blues on the cloudless morning.
The sight in front of me steals my breath away from me for a moment. She kisses the back of my head again. “Put me down, please?”
I nod and kneel down so that she can climb off of me. She does and comes to stand next to me. I notice now that we’re not the only ones on the stairs.
“Sit,” she orders and we do.
“You’re too far away,” I tease her and go to grab her arm but I stop myself and grab her around her waist, pulling her toward me and she leans into me as she wraps her arms around her legs.
We sit like that for some time as the sun continues to rise over the Capital, the Mall and then finally the sunrise is reflected back in the pool.
“Thank you for my surprise,” he tells me before kissing my forehead.
Sitting here, watching the sun rise over DC is fulfilling one of my deepest fantasies and one of the many bucket list items I’d come up with a long time ago. A list of things to do with someone who means something special to me and that someone special is Dex. I didn’t know it until I’d brought up the surprise. I’d have done this in New York, but what happened after that last show was proof enough, not only to him but also to myself, about where this might be going. So I moved Central Park down my list, to save it for another day and time.
“You’re welcome. Though I’m pretty sure this means more to me,” I tell him.
He looks at me then. “I doubt that.” I give him a sad smile. “Care to explain?” he asks and I shake my head. “Let’s make a rule,” he says and I raise an eyebrow at him in question. “Actually, a couple of rules.”
‘Okay?” I say skeptically.
“That we always be honest with each other, no matter what. We never hesitate to tell…” His words fall flat on his lips.
“Dex, I vow to always tell you everything and answer your questions honestly, but the reason I brought you here is pretty personal for me. I’m more afraid of how you’ll take it, so right now, I’d rather not tell you,” I tell him quietly and I squeeze my legs a little harder.
He doesn’t say anything for a few moments. “Well, I will tell you this,” he says softly, kissing my forehead again. “This has been the best night of my life.”
My breathing stops all together as I look at him. “You mean that?” I say breathless.
He smiles. “Absolutely.”
I lean over, wrap my hand around his neck and pull his lips to mine and he grants my tongue entrance on the first attempt. I moan softly into his mouth as I taste his sweet Dex taste and my hands slide up higher into his hair, holding him more firmly as our tongues slide against each other. My nipples harden and my clit explodes with desire. What I wouldn’t give to be able to take him right here and now.
His hands cup my cheeks and he pushes me back slightly, pulling his lips from mine and I begin breathing again. My head is spinning. Then his lips land on mine, harder, firmer and more insistent. He starts to push me back and I let go of my legs. He has me laid down on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial just after sunrise. His lips slow their intensity but the passion and desire that is coursing through my veins is too intense. I want him and I would love to take him right here and now…but yeah, not gonna happen. I pull back slightly.
“I want to take you back to the hotel, like right now,” he growls.
“Sorry slick,” I say with a mischievous grin.
“You are not. You dirty, naughty girl.” He smirks.
“Come on, let’s walk,” I tell him.
He scoffs. “Like I can walk in this condition.” I cannot help but laugh.
“I’m sorry,” I say through giggles.
“You are not,” he grumbles but he’s still smiling and his eyes are light with humor. He seems happy. It’s a sight I’d like to see more often from him. “Fine,” he relents and sits ups, pulling me with him as he stands. “Let’s walk, princess. Where are we going?” I get the impression he wants me to say the truck, but instead I point to our left, where we were when we came in. “Lead on.” He smiles and holds his elbow out for me to take and I do.
We spend the next several hours wandering around the Vietnam Memorial, the Gardens, and the WWII Memorial and then finally walking around the Washington Monument. After a full rotation, we walked along the opposite side of the reflecting pool and wrapped up with the Korean War Memorial. Dex is pretty quiet, somber even, throughout our journey and as we’re walking toward the truck, I finally manage to build up the courage that I need to ask him why he’s so sad.
“What’s the matter?” I ask softly.
His eyes shoot to me and then back on the ground in front of him. He doesn’t answer me. All throughout the morning we’ve chatted about different things, like where we’re from, where we grew up, high school, silly insignificant stuff if you want the truth, but in the whole of who Dex is, it’s helping me to better understand him and furthermore, bringing up those feelings I never thought I’d have again, but this time it’s different, so much more intense.
“I have a bucket list,” I tell him, hoping that if I open up to him, maybe he will do the same for me. “But it’s not…jeez, how do I explain this?” I mutter. “I have a list of places in my head that I’ve always considered romantic, places that I vowed to one day return to when I had someone in my life that I really, truly cared about.”
He looks at me. His eyes are weary, concerned, but yet there is an element of intrigue hiding there too.
“This…” I twirl my finger around, indicating our surroundings, “was number two,” I tell him softly.
He frowns as he comes to a stop, standing in front of me. We’re back in front of the Lincoln Memorial, but we’re on the edge of the reflecting pool. His hands come up to cup my cheeks, cradling my head in his hands. He gently rubs h
is thumbs along my cheeks, searching my eyes for what, I don’t know, but I try to convey what I’m feeling through my eyes. “What,” he says hoarsely, “is number one?” “Central Park,” I tell him, and he leans his forehead against mine.
“Number three?” he asks, a little less hoarsely but full of emotion.
I smile. “The Eiffel Tower.” His breath hitches.
“Four?”
“Venice, Italy. Outside the Colosseum in Rome, In front of the Castle at Walt Disney World, The Outer Banks in North Carolina and Venice Beach at sunset,” I say softly.
“Edinburgh Castle…” My breath hitches as he continues with his own list, a list that is matching mine, “The Louvre, Piccadilly Circus…”
“Dex…how?”
His eyes meet mine. “We have the same list.” Tears stream from my eyes. “Though maybe not in that order and this, this one wasn’t on my list. I once played in Central Park and I noticed all the couples that would come into the fields and have a picnic. It’s so quiet and peaceful in that part of the park. If it weren’t for the huge sky rises surrounding the park, you’d think that it was the middle of nowhere. Despite the constant flow of traffic and sounds of the city, it’s so quiet there.” He’s whispering by the end of his little speech.
I kiss him. Softly, affectionately, desperately.
When we break from this kiss, my stomach growls. “Shall we feed you?” he says and I smile.
“I’d love that.”
Casey and Troy switch places with Beck and Rusty to join us downstairs. Raine and I sat alone with the two of them closely watching from a distance at their own table. We enjoyed breakfast together. We talked more about Bold and about her job, what her job here would be and finally what it would be after she got back to California.
She’d told me, but I’d completely forgotten that she wasn’t sticking around this party forever and I dread saying good-bye, and though I knew it wouldn’t be permanent, the idea is already bothering me.
“So, because I’m pretty sure I won’t be able to spend a single minute without you while we’re here, are we officially… you know?” I say with hesitation.
“No,” she says so straight-faced that I can’t tell if she’s serious or kidding.
“No?” I raise an eyebrow at her.
“I will spend as much time with you as humanly possible while we’re here, but…” She takes a deep breath, “but I need to know that this,” she gestures between the two of us, “is what you really want.”
“It is what I want.”
“Sure, you say that today, but what about tonight, Dex? What about after your show and you’ve got an entire hoard of chicks throwing themselves at you, offering themselves to you?”
“That won’t happen,” I growl at her.
“Really, because I’ve seen it, Dex. It does happen.”
I put my silverware down. “No, it won’t happen because I will be with you, you will be the one throwing herself at me.”
She raises an eyebrow questioningly at me. “Okay, that’s tonight, but what if I have to go back to California and you’re off god knows where and I’m not there to occupy your time and attention?” She takes a drink of water. “Look, I’m not punishing you or making assumptions that this thing between us will last longer than my stay here on the road and you shouldn’t either. We need to just take this one day at a time. I need to know that I can trust you, you need to show me that I can trust you.”
She’s absolutely right of course. “There are three things here. First, after last night and this morning, no one, and I mean no one, will ever compare to you. I meant what I said, tonight has been the best night of my life, and that includes you. Second of all, you’re right. I do need to show you that you can trust me, but I don’t need to start off in the negative here. Give me some credit. I’ve been and can be a decent man when I need to be and I intend to be that way with you, no matter what. And lastly, who burned you?” It’s obvious that the lack of trust is from scars of past bad relationships.
“Who didn’t might be a better question,” she tells me. “The most recent one, I found in my house, in my bed, fucking some chick. The one before that, I heard about through friends and the one before that basically just said that he’d been sleeping with someone else who was far better in bed than I am and that was pretty much the end of that.”
I’m speechless for a few minutes. I take a few sips of orange juice wishing it had some vodka in it.
“Your looseness scares me,” she breathes out.
“What do you mean?”
“In New York you were itching to take me to dinner, I turn you down because I honestly needed some time to just chill and be by myself. Think through some things. Then I come back, see you and some bimbo making out on the couch in the bar, then less than an hour later, you’ve brought her to your room. So, as you can imagine, that was a little harsh and confusing.”
I frown at her then scrub my face. “I’ve really fucked up, but I’d really like the chance to redeem myself.”
She smiles then says, “And I’m willing to give you that chance.”
“Thank you,” I say in relief.
Dex and I parted ways after our breakfast. He needed to run off and handle something with his equipment. Kyle and Talon were joining him to help. I tried to convince him that it could wait and that he needed to get some sleep but he refused.
After a couple of hours of doing work in my room, I got this from him.
Dex: Will you do something with me tomorrow?
I look at my phone…puzzled.
Raine: Anything…what are we doing?
Dex: I need a new piece.
Raine: I have a better idea than ink.
Dex: You’re not mad?
Raine: Mad because you fought your addiction? Never. Gave in? That’s another story.
Dex: Fought, didn’t give in.
Raine: When? You’ve been gone ten minutes.
Dex: The day I rescued Kyle.
Raine: No new piece to the puzzle. Have other idea. How do you feel about clothes pins?
Dex: On you- fucking gorgeous.
Raine: :-) Promise? And no, on you?
Dex: Depends - can I tie you up afterward?
Raine: Yes.
Dex: Deal. I’m coming back over.
Raine: No you’re not. We agreed we needed sleep. You have to get all sweaty on stage tonight.
Dex: I’d rather get sweaty with you.
Raine: Me too, Sir.
I smile at my phone. I know that last text is going to bait him, then chew him up.
Reading Dex’s texts sends a shiver of anticipation through me. No, I am not a “you do drugs you’re gone” type of person. I understand addiction as a non-addict far better than most people can. I’ve seen it way too many times and I can completely understand the appeal of drug, alcohol and gambling to excess but the idea of being addicted to something scares me so much that I think that’s what has kept me away from things.
Despite being ‘good Catholics’ my parents were far from innocent. My father drank way too much, way too often, and my mother was highly addicted to my father. Unable to function without him, despite the fact that he’d beat the crap out of her. It was unhealthy for anyone and it was unhealthy to grow up in.
Looking back on it now, I can almost say that their disowning me was a blessing. It forced me to move on, be independent and it pulled me away from them. But I also spent a lot of time trying to recoup myself. Spending a lot of time in semi-abusive relationships. Though never physical, but certainly emotionally abusive. The man I lost my virginity to is a shining example of emotionally abusive. He was very good at putting me down and bringing me down on more than a few occasions. Finally, I’d just had enough. Though if you were to ask him, he broke up with me.
I fight to shrug off all thoughts of past lives and move back into the moment, this moment.
Dex’s addiction is very real. And while I would love to see him finish his piece, and
there is a good likelihood that he will add a piece for that day at some point, I want to see him finish it because it is unfinished. Not because he continues to fight with his addiction. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I wonder if I can become his new addiction. Become his new source of pain therapy. But then that nagging little voice in the back of my head is screaming at me that I’m stupid for even considering the idea of any type of future with Dex. I’m here; I’m in the moment, but what about when Cami calls me back to Los Angeles? Or when the tour breaks in a couple weeks, and I don’t get to get back on board.
I’m afraid it’s too soon for me to be able to fully commit to him. But it’s not going to stop me from having a good time while I’m here. I wonder idly if I can tell Cami, who needs an answer by tomorrow, yes and then back out later. What would those consequences be?
I look over at the bedside clock and fifteen minutes have passed since Dex’s last message. I expected him to be pounding down my door by now.
My phone chimes.
Dex: Open your door before I get a key.
Raine: Can’t, sorry. Naked.
Pound, knock, growl. “Open up, princess.”
I hop up out of bed and unlatch the door, then swing it open, holding on to it and stretching my arm out to brace against the frame and I hang onto the door’s edge.
“Fuck me,” Dex growls as he charges into the room, wrapping his arms around me and picking me up. I wasn’t kidding, I’m completely naked.
His lips land on mine and his knees run into the bed. I pull back. “You’re supposed to be sleeping,” I playfully scold him.
“I’d rather be sleeping with you.” His lips come back to mine and desire ignites full force. I wrap my legs around his hips and hold him to me. I can’t help but grind my pussy against his nylon shorts covered cock. He moans and I grind again. “You naughty fucking girl,” he growls and he lays me down on the bed.