Dare Island [2] Carolina Girl

by Virginia Kantra

Sam shoved his hands in his pockets. “Don’t rush off on my account. How was movie night?”

  Both Matt and Allison were still in costume—if Matt’s jeans and black leather jacket could be counted as “costume.” Allison wore a little blue dress with a white apron and a black headband. Alice in Wonderland, Sam supposed.

  “From the amount of shrieking and squealing going on, I’d say it was a success,” Allison said.

  “And that was only during the intermission,” Matt said dryly.

  Allison laughed. “Anyway, Josh seemed to have a good time. He invited some friends back with him to see Tom’s Halloween display.”

  “A Dare Island tradition,” Sam informed her.

  “So I hear. Anyway, I should go check on them. You never know what teenagers will get up to when your back is turned.”

  “Sam knows,” Matt said.

  Their eyes met.

  Yeah, he knew. The muscles tightened at the back of Sam’s neck, in the pit of his stomach. And Matt . . . guessed.

  He waited until the front door had closed behind Allison before he said, “Most of the trouble I got into in high school, you were right in there with me, buddy.”

  “Most.” Matt paused. “Not all.”

  Sam rocked back on his heels, trying to gauge Matt’s mood. “You got something you want to say?”

  “Nope. You?”

  A vision swam in Sam’s memory. Meg’s face, a pale oval in the dark. Meg’s voice, pleading, Don’t tell Matt.

  “Not really.” He took his hands out of his pockets. “You going to take a swing at me?”

  “Should I?”

  For what I did eighteen years ago, maybe. Not over what happened tonight. “You want to know if I’m putting the moves on your sister, the answer is yes. You want details, you ask her.”

  Matt nodded once. “You hurt her, you let her down, I’ll come after you.”

  “Right. Anything else?”

  “Yeah.” A corner of Matt’s mouth kicked up. “She hurts you, she lets you down, I’ll buy the beer.”

  Sam’s muscles relaxed. “That’s big of you.”

  Matt shrugged. “Meg’s old enough take care of herself. Besides . . .”

  “You love me like a brother?” Sam suggested.

  Matt’s rare smile spread. “I like you better than that asshole in New York, that’s for sure.”

  * * *

  TESS LAY FLAT on her back in their king-size bed, determined to finish her final set of exercises before Tom returned from the bathroom. She could hear water running into the sink and the sound of his razor against the basin, tap tap tap.

  She pushed out her breath, sliding her right leg as far to the side as she could, feeling the stretch in her thigh, the pull in her groin. Out. She tightened her muscles, easing the leg back. And in. Another breath. Out . . . A twinge in her hip made her catch her breath. And in.

  For almost forty years, she had lived by The List, breaking down seemingly overwhelming tasks into small, manageable steps. Through moves, deployments, hurricanes, the start of the tourist season, and the beginning of the school year, it all went on The List, moving boxes, boarding windows, fresh paint, new shoes, immunizations, and permission slips, everything cataloged, crossed off, under control.

  She slid her leg out again over the wrinkled sheet, stretching, stretching, exhaling through the pain. Out. The orthopedic surgeon had explained that healing would be slow. The stem cell flakes they had sprinkled like fairy dust over the pins in her pelvis would take time to set. And in.

  She had a new list now, of attainable, adjustable goals assigned by her physical therapist. Roll over in bed. Sit up in a chair for thirty minutes, for forty. Walk to the end of the ramp, to the end of the drive, to the end of the street.

  And a private list, compiled in her heart. Shave her own legs. Walk on the sand. Make love with Tom.

  Her eyes burned. Her hip burned. She pressed her lips together, breathing in through her nose.

  Tom padded into the room in his boxers, the light from the bathroom emphasizing his wide, bony shoulders, his lean waist. “Did you take your pills?”

  She exhaled. Nodded.

  He flipped off the light and slid into bed. His weight created a shift in the mattress, another twinge in her hip. But it felt good to have him beside her. The scent of his aftershave wrapped around her in the dark, spicy and familiar. Once his shaving before bed had been a preliminary to lovemaking. Now . . .

  He lifted the covers and wedged a pillow between her legs to protect her hips before he lay down.

  Tess sighed.

  “You okay, babe?”

  He meant physically, of course. Her Tom had never initiated a discussion of feelings. He had always operated under the military’s need-to-know mode. Tess was the one who listened to the children while he was away, who reintegrated him into the family routines when he came home, who encouraged and mediated and explained.

  “I’m fine,” she said.

  They lay in the dark, in the silence.

  “Don’t worry about the kids,” Tom rumbled, surprising her. “They’re all right.”

  His reassurance freed her to speak. Matt was all right, at least since Allison had come into his life. Meg . . . Well, Tess intended to have her own discussion with Meg. Tess’s thoughts went to their younger son, serving in Afghanistan. “Have you spoken to Luke recently?”

  “Sunday. Same as you.”

  “I thought he might call Taylor for Halloween,” Tess said.

  “Babe, he’s in country,” Tom said. “He might not be anywhere near a phone.”

  “I know.”

  “It was easier back when there wasn’t all this technology to keep in touch all the time,” Tom said. “At least when you didn’t hear from me, you didn’t worry.”

  “Much,” Tess said.

  Tom chuckled. “Easier on me, then. No distractions.”

  Tess remembered when an information officer used to control the flow of news from home. Even Dear John letters were opened and vetted and accompanied by a visit from the IO or a chaplain. Now, except when a unit was in “River City”—their systems temporarily shut down to preserve security—communications between deployed Marines and their families were much easier. Better, she thought. Except all that Skyping, SAT phones, and MotoMail meant that Marines could be hit with every problem from home, every leaking toilet and grade school crisis.

  “Do you think Luke’s worried about the family court hearing next week?” Tess asked.

  “No, he’s thinking about his men and his mission. He’s counting on us to take care of Taylor.” Tom turned his head on the pillow. “Like I always counted on you.”

  Her heart melted. “Oh, Tom.”

  He rolled to his side and kissed her forehead.

  His breath was warm against her eyelids. She closed her eyes and confessed, “That’s what I hate the most. I feel like I’m letting everyone down. If I wasn’t in that stupid accident . . .”

  “Not your fault, babe.”

  She ignored his logic. “If I hadn’t gotten hurt, the Simpsons wouldn’t be able to claim ‘changed circumstances’ to get custody of Taylor.”

  “They can claim whatever they want. Luke left Taylor with us.”

  “She called again tonight. While the girls were out.”

  “Who called?”

  “Jolene Simpson.”

  “What did she want?”

  “To talk to Taylor, she said.” Tess moved restlessly. “And to tell me Taylor has one grandmother who can still take care of her.”

  “Fuck ’em,” Tom said. “Look, you can’t control what the Simpsons say or do. You can’t change what happened. All we can do is play the cards we’re dealt.”

  “As long as the game isn’t rigged,” she muttered. She rubbed her cheek against his hand. “I wish I were going with you on Tuesday.” Court day.

  He touched her hair, stroking her bangs out of her face with calloused fingers. “You’d be bored. Hell, I’ll be bored
. That lawyer, Long, said we’ll be hanging all day, waiting. Anyway, only one of us needs to be there.”

  “I just want to help.”

  “You are helping. You’re taking care of yourself. Getting better, right? Getting some sleep.”

  She smiled at his gruff tone. “Is that a hint?”

  “Could be. Unless you want to stay up and fool around.”

  She huffed, laughter and frustration mixed together. “Yeah, that’s not happening.”

  He gave her a slow, warm kiss. “Not for another four weeks anyway,” he agreed.

  “That’s right, I . . . Wait.” Tess drew back to stare into her husband’s face. “You asked Dr. Glover when we could have sex?”

  Tom grunted, which could have been either yes or no, except he would have said No straight out.

  “Thirty-eight years we’ve been married,” Tess said, “three kids, and you’ve never asked one doctor about anything.”

  His gaze met hers. “You mad?”

  “No, I’m . . .” Relieved. Reassured. Flattered. “Grateful,” Tess said. She smiled. “And it’s three weeks now.”

  * * *

  RESIDENTS AND LONGTIME visitors to Dare complained the island wasn’t as remote as it used to be. Clearly, they had never tried to book a flight to LaGuardia in time for a lunch meeting in Manhattan.

  The earliest flight out of Jacksonville, with a stop in Atlanta, would require Meg to leave the island at three thirty in the morning. Or she could leave two hours later and drive herself three and a half hours to Raleigh-Durham Airport for a nonstop flight to New York. She’d opted for Raleigh.

  At least she could work on the plane.

  “Mom, do you think it would be okay for me to ask Matt to give me a ride into Morehead City tomorrow?” Meg asked Tess the following morning. “I hate to dump any more work on him, but I need to pick up a rental car.”

  Soft, gray light penetrated the kitchen windows. Outside, birds tuned up against a chorus of insects. Tom sat at the kitchen table, mopping the last of his breakfast egg with a piece of toast. Tess stood at the counter with Taylor, supervising the packing of her lunch for school.

  “What time?” Tess asked.

  Meg headed for the coffeepot. “Five thirty?” she said, a note of apology lifting her voice. Matt was on the water some mornings by five. She still hated imposing on him.

  “In the morning?” Tess asked.

  “Kind of early for you, city girl,” Tom remarked.

  “One or two?” Taylor asked, digging her hand into her Halloween candy.

  “One,” Tess said.

  “Two,” Tom said at the same time.

  Meg poured her coffee. “How about one large, one small?”

  “Cool.” Taylor deliberated, finally choosing a large Milky Way and a small peanut butter cup. “Where are you going?”

  “I have a meeting,” Meg said. “In New York.”

  “I’m sure we can get you a ride,” Tess said. “It’s good that you’re getting back to work.”

  “Yeah.” Meg took a deep breath, setting down her coffee cup. “Actually, Mom . . .”

  “Are you coming back?” Taylor asked.

  It had never been Meg’s plan to stay on the island. But something in the child’s expression, the closed face, the hopeful eyes, tugged at Meg’s heart. What had Sam said last night? That’s a lot of changes for the kid to have to deal with. Too many people were coming and going in Taylor’s life.

  “It’s just an interview,” Meg assured her gently. “I’ll see you Sunday.”

  The back door burst open to admit Josh. “Hey, shorty. Time for school.”

  Taylor nodded and grabbed her lunch. Fezzik lurched from under the table and followed her to the door, his thick tail sweeping from side to side.

  Josh grinned down at her affectionately. “You got candy for me?”

  Taylor jammed Luke’s Marine cap onto her short blond hair. “Maybe.”

  “You need another piece, then,” Tom said.

  “Thanks.”

  “Yeah, thanks, Grandpa.”

  And they were gone.

  In the quiet they left behind, Tess turned to her daughter and raised her eyebrows. “Did you say an interview?”

  Meg blew out her breath. Here goes.

  “A sort of job interview.” She met her mother’s gaze, her chest hollowed out. “I was let go. Franklin let me go. Fired me.”

  “They what?” Tom growled.

  “Oh, honey.” Tess started forward, banging into her walker.

  “Easy, Mom. It’s okay. I’m okay.” Meg crossed the kitchen, steadying the walker, folding her arms carefully around her mother, trying to give and receive comfort without putting any weight on Tess’s slim shoulders.

  Trying not to be a burden.

  Meg swallowed. What a laugh.

  “Do you need any help?” Tom asked, his weathered face creased in lines of concern. Financial help, he meant.

  Meg’s heart swelled. Her throat cinched. She made more in bonuses than her parents earned in a year. “Oh, Dad. No, I’m fine. I got six months’ severance.”

  “Is that enough?” Tess asked. “With your mortgage . . .”

  “It’s fine. And Derek is willing to help out until I find something else.”

  Tom grunted. “Least he can do. You can stay here, you know. As long as you want.”

  “We love having you,” Tess added.

  They were trying to help her, Meg realized. Emotion welled inside her. To take care of her the way they always had. All this time, she had been worried about helping and taking care of them, protecting them, and their first thought was for her. Their concern made her want to weep. She didn’t deserve it.

  The kitchen blurred in a rush of love and tears.

  “Hey, now,” her father said, alarmed.

  She sniffled.

  “It’s okay.” He put his arms around her—long, bony arms, comforting and familiar—and she burst into tears.

  “It’s all right, sweetie,” her mother said. The same words, the same tone, that had soothed scrapes and feelings throughout Meg’s childhood. “Everything’s going to be all right.”

  “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Meg wept. “Damn it.”

  Tom patted her back awkwardly. He smelled of laundry detergent and aftershave, strong, clean smells. “What the hell are you sorry for? You didn’t do anything wrong.”

  “No-o. I thought . . .” Her voice hitched on another sob. “You’d be disappointed in me.”

  “Disappointed? In you?” The genuine astonishment in her mother’s voice nearly set Meg off again.

  “That’s stupid,” Tom said. “We’re proud of you, Meggie. Always have been.”

  “But I lost my job.”

  “So? You’re not the first or the only one in this economy to get fired. You’re a smart girl. You’ll come about. They’re fucking idiots.”

  She closed her eyes, letting herself go back to a time when her father’s arms could protect her from anything. She was awash with embarrassment, floating in relief, filled to the brim with love. Leaving the office in the cab that day, she’d felt as if she’d lost everything. But she’d been wrong, she realized. She’d never lost this. “I love you, Daddy.”

  He kissed the top of her head. “We love you, too, baby,” he said gruffly.

  “Why didn’t you say anything?” Tess asked.

  “I didn’t want to worry you,” Meg mumbled. “I was afraid to let you down.”

  “You’ve never let us down,” Tom said. “You were a big help when your mom was in the hospital.”

  “And here, too,” Tess said. “All we want is for you to be happy.”

  Meg sniffed. “Will you be all right this weekend?”

  Tom patted her shoulder. “Of course. You go take care of business.”

  “What about Derek?” Tess asked. “Was he let go, too?”

  “No, Derek was on the transition team. His job’s safe.”

  Meg saw her parents exchange
glances.

  “What does he say about all this?” Tess asked.

  Meg drew a deep breath. “He thinks it’s time I came home.”

  She had called him at bedtime, their regular time, hoping that hearing his cool, considered voice would remind her of all the ways he was perfect for her.

  Or maybe she’d hoped he would say something stupid and hurtful to erase her guilt over Sam. He could offer to buy her out of their condo again, for example.

  Instead, Derek had surprised her. Bruce told me they were bringing you up. I think it’s great. You know, your job search would be a lot easier if you stayed in New York. It’s time for you to come home, he’d said, as if he wasn’t the one who had sent her away in the first place.

  What about stepping back to gain perspective? she had reminded him a little bitterly. What about examining our priorities?

  That’s exactly what I’ve been doing, Derek had responded. A pause. I miss you, Meg.

  His admission had gratified a small corner of her heart, soothed the bruise to her pride. And left her vaguely uncomfortable. She missed him, too. Of course she did. But . . .

  Meg met her mother’s eyes. “He said this could be the opportunity we need to figure out where we’re going. To assess our priorities.”

  Tom gave another grunt that could have meant anything.

  “Well, I never thought I’d say this, but I agree with him. Maybe this is your chance to think about what you really want.” Tess tipped her head to one side. Smiled. “And who you really want, too.”

  “Ma.” She wouldn’t call it panic, that quick staccato beat of her heart. “I’m looking for a job, not another boyfriend. I hate to disappoint you, but there’s no way I’m going to end up living on the island married to . . .” Sam Grady. “Anybody,” Meg sputtered. “I love what I do. I love New York.”

  “And Derek? Do you love him, too?”

  Meg opened her mouth, feeling the ground shift suddenly beneath her feet. She wasn’t used to examining her feelings for Derek. She certainly wasn’t used to discussing their relationship in front of her father.

  “If you can’t say yes, the answer’s no,” Tom said.

  She flushed. “It’s not that simple, Dad. Maybe that’s what I have to go to New York to figure out. I’m comfortable with Derek. We’ve been together six years. I can be myself when I’m with him.”