Better for Us

by Vanessa Miller

  “I’ll pick Jaylen up from your aunt’s house. She can spend the night with me.”

  “Don’t fill her up on ice cream.” Ryla wagged her pointer finger in his face. “Make her eat a balanced dinner.”

  “Hey, she eats healthy when she’s with me.” Noel objected to the chastisement.

  “You always give in to her, and you know that I’m right.”

  “You two sound like you’ve been coparenting for years,” Juanita broke in. “Let him go spoil his daughter so we can get back to planning this fabulous wedding.”

  Noel kissed Juanita on the cheek. “Thanks, Mama Evans.”

  “Don’t encourage him, Mama.”

  Noel wrapped his arms around Ryla. “I’ll take you to dinner tomorrow night.” He then pulled her closer and whispered in her ear, “Or I could stop by and make breakfast for you again.”

  She pushed him away. “Get out of here. I have a lot of planning to do.”

  * * *

  Ryla and her mother stayed at the Four Seasons until they had the food, flowers, entertainment and invitations picked out. She was tired by the time she left, but since she only had one night in Houston, she met up with Danetta and Surry at Casa de Novia Bridal Couture. The three women viewed gowns by designers such as Vera Wang, Oscar de la Renta and several other couturiers. Ryla didn’t have much time for second-guessing, so before they left she decided on a simple-cut, full-length gown by Junko Yoshioka. They even found rose-colored bridesmaid dresses that were perfect for Danetta and Surry.

  “Thanks for not making us wear ugly dresses,” Surry said as they sat down to a late-night dinner at Mama’s Café.

  “I wouldn’t dream of putting you or Danetta in anything but the most glamorous dress we can afford. And since Noel is paying for everything...we can afford those gorgeous gowns.” Ryla giggled as she took a bite of her turkey sandwich.

  “That’s the first time you’ve mentioned Noel’s name since we met up with you. What gives?” Danetta asked.

  “I don’t know.” Ryla shrugged. “Noel told me that I should take time to enjoy every moment of our engagement, because this is something that we both dreamed about doing. But I think seeing my father today kind of startled me.”

  “Why would seeing your father while planning your wedding startle you?” Surry asked.

  “He’s just such a cheater.... The man is separated from his third wife and on the prowl for wife number four.” Ryla shook her head. “Anyway, after seeing him I started thinking that maybe I should just do what Noel wants. Enjoy my engagement and then run for my life before I say ‘I do.’”

  Danetta and Surry sat stunned in silence.

  “Don’t everyone speak at once,” Ryla said as her friends kept looking at her as if they’d been mummified.

  “We both know that I’m not going to talk you out of doing the right thing,” Danetta said.

  Surry elbowed Danetta. “Well, if she won’t, then I will. It is obvious to me that this man cares for you. Why else would he be doing everything he’s done concerning this wedding?”

  Stirring her iced tea with a straw, Ryla said, “That’s my fear... What if I force him to marry me and then he becomes so angry that he starts cheating on me out of spite? I wouldn’t be able to deal with that.”

  “What I don’t understand is why you automatically assume every man is a cheater.”

  “Oh, that’s right, you’ve never met my father,” Ryla deadpanned.

  Danetta sighed. “I hate that your father treated your mother so poorly and that he allowed his cheating to affect his relationship with you, but you need to forgive that man and let it go.”

  “Right after he begs for my forgiveness, I might think about it.”

  “I’m with Ryla on this one,” Surry said. “Some people do so much dirt that they’ll need to beg until Jesus comes back before forgiveness comes their way.”

  “Don’t encourage her, Surry. Ryla needs to get past this thing with her father if she is ever going to have a loving and trusting relationship with any man.”

  “All right, Dr. Danetta. Thank you for diagnosing my problem, and I will take it into consideration. But right now all I can think about is Noel and Jaylen,” Ryla said.

  “How is Jaylen doing?” Surry asked as she put a forkful of her grilled-chicken salad into her mouth.

  “She loves Dallas. I don’t know how I’m going to get her to come back home when the summer is over.”

  “If you marry Noel, you wouldn’t have to come back home,” Surry reminded her.

  “Why don’t you have a talk with Noel? Check to see where his head is at right now. You never know—the two of you might want the same thing,” Danetta encouraged.

  “You might be right, Danetta. Before I make a final decision involving Jaylen, I’m going to talk to Noel about what I want for us, and the fear I have about marrying a man like my father.”

  Danetta patted Ryla’s hand, “You’re making the right decision.”

  Ryla was so confused right now that she didn’t know what decision to make. If she married Noel, she would forever be on edge, wondering if he was going to leave her for someone else. If she walked away, she would destroy her little girl. Noel had worried about how their scheme would affect Jaylen, but Ryla hadn’t worried at all. Because all the while she had been scheming on him: planning to say “I do” even though he didn’t want her to. But now that she was considering walking away, she wished she had listened to his concerns about how this would affect Jaylen in the long run, after all.

  Chapter 17

  Four Weeks Later

  Ryla stood in the mirror looking back at her reflection. She was in a beautiful floor-length, cream-colored wedding gown that made her look more elegant than the Duchess of Cambridge had on her wedding day. As a matter of fact, with the way Noel had treated her over the past few weeks of their engagement, she felt as if she were Kate Middleton marrying her prince.

  Noel had kept his word by taking her out and making her feel special every time he had the opportunity. She had grown so comfortable with him that she’d begun to believe that this was all real. But as she stood at the mirror looking at a reflection of herself, she realized that these past weeks with Noel had only been an illusion and she was playing a dangerous game of deception.

  Ryla should have been the happiest woman at the Four Seasons, but she felt as if she was being tossed by winds and waves that she couldn’t control. “Will you look at the mess you’ve gotten yourself in,” she said to her reflection. “Jaylen wants you to marry her father, but Noel wants you to run.” She finally asked herself, “What do you want?”

  No answer came from the mirror, but as she continued to stare at herself she remembered that odd man she’d seen at the mall who had shown her a reflection of herself after having her read the front of his little black book, which asked, “Who did Jesus die for?”

  She had forgotten about that strange man, so why that incident would cross her mind on her wedding day, of all days, was beyond her understanding. She turned away from the mirror as her makeup artist and hairstylist came through the door to begin fussing over her.

  Her mother walked in a few minutes later, stopped in front of her and burst into tears. “You look so beautiful.” She took Ryla’s arm, lifted it and twirled her around. “You are always stylish, but this gown is so elegant.”

  Hugging her mother, Ryla said, “Thank you for saying that, and thank you for being here for me today.”

  “About that, honey.” Juanita hesitated.

  “What’s wrong, Mom?”

  “Well, honey, I don’t want you to get mad and make a scene on your wedding day, but your daddy is waiting outside the door to speak with you.”

  Ryla started shaking her head. “What? No. Why would you let him in here?”

 
“I can’t stop him from coming into the hotel, Ryla,” Juanita pleaded.

  “I don’t want to see him.”

  Juanita asked everyone to leave the room and then she grabbed hold of her daughter’s arm and sat her down on a beige sofa nearby. “It’s your wedding day and I’m so proud of you, so I don’t want to argue. But, Ryla Evans, you have got to let go of the hatred you have for your father.”

  “I don’t hate him,” she said.

  “You’re stubborn, Ryla—you get that from me. I know it and I’m not proud of it.” Juanita’s eyes took on a sorrowful expression as she said, “I spent years being angry with my sister over an argument we had. I wouldn’t speak to her or go and visit. When she got sick last year and I had to visit her in the hospital, it nearly killed me. Don’t be like me, Ryla. Don’t waste years of your life holding a grudge. Live and love now, before it’s too late.”

  Ryla remembered how torn her mother had been when Aunt Shelly had had surgery last year. She’d practically moved herself to Dallas trying to make up for the years of absence and foolishness. At that moment, Ryla realized that if something bad happened to her father, she would indeed regret not allowing him to be a part of her life. “Tell him to come in.”

  Juanita hopped up. “Okay, honey. I’ll be right back.”

  As Ryla watched her father walk into her dressing room, her mind’s eye was remembering another day. He was younger, but still just as handsome, as he walked out of their house, holding a suitcase and promising to call her.

  She stood up, smoothed out her dress and told him, “You missed out on some really good years of my life.”

  He stood before her humbled as he sighed and nodded.

  “In high school I was captain of the cheerleading squad, but you never came to one game. I was crowned homecoming queen in college.... You weren’t there that day, either. So, I guess I just don’t understand why it’s so important for you to be here now.”

  “I should have been there at all of those other events.”

  “You missed the birth of your granddaughter also,” Ryla reminded him.

  He lowered his head. After a moment, he looked at her and said, “I have no excuses, sweetie. I got lost in myself. Thinking that I only needed to be concerned about my own happiness, but in the end I became the most miserable of all.” He broke down and cried in front of her.

  Ryla’s heart broke at the sight of her father’s tears. Her issues with him may have cost her years away from Noel, but she still didn’t want this. Ryla reached up and wiped the tears from his face.

  He grabbed her hand. “Please don’t let me miss this occasion. If you never want to see me again after today, I’ll understand. But let me walk my little girl down the aisle, please.”

  All Ryla had ever wanted was a relationship with her dad. And as he stood before her, pleading to take part in her wedding, all the years of sitting on the window seat waiting for him to pick her up seemed to fade away. She wrapped her arms around her dad and blubbered, “Thanks for being here.”

  * * *

  Jaylen gracefully walked down the aisle, tossing roses petals with every step she took. The bridesmaids and groomsmen were standing next to Noel as he beamed over his little girl and how sweet she was. To this day, Noel still couldn’t believe his good fortune in having a child as precious as Jaylen. He’d take five more just like her, with a boy tossed in for good measure.

  Jaylen made it down the aisle, stood next to him and asked loud enough for the first three rows of guests to hear, “Did I do a good job, Daddy?”

  Noel bent down and whispered in her ear, “You did a perfect job, baby girl.”

  Jaylen beamed and Noel’s heart expanded in his chest. He’d only known his little girl for a short time, but already he couldn’t imagine a day without her. When this was all over between him and Ryla, Noel didn’t know how he would go back to only weekend visits.

  As the “Bridal Chorus” began to play, Noel raised his head to look down the aisle and caught the loveliest vision in white that he’d ever seen. Ryla’s dress was silky and dangled all the way to the floor. She held on to her father’s arm as she walked down the aisle, looking nervous and unsure of herself. Noel found himself drifting back to the days when their love was so real and all he wanted to do was graduate from college, and start his basketball career so he’d be earning enough to take care of a wife and kids. How he wished that Ryla had waited for him. Noel wished with everything in him that she hadn’t run away from him and had told him about their child. He wished the two of them had been together all these years and that there had been no other women. But just wishing wouldn’t make it so.

  Ryla was who she was, and he doubted that he would ever be able to change her. Sometimes he even wondered if Ryla truly knew just how much she’d cost him by leaving as she did. Drinking and gambling had never been his style, but once Ryla left, he seemed to need a drink just to make it through the day. The gambling had been his means of recreation since he had nothing better to do...and the women? He kept trying to replace Ryla. But nothing he did took Ryla out of his heart, so he did more and more of it. Until he became a weekly tabloid favorite.

  He couldn’t go back down that road again, not even to win this election. Ian had already warned him that when Ryla walked out on him today, he could kiss his political career goodbye. Noel was used to transition and figuring out new dreams when old ones suddenly were no longer available to him. He’d do the same thing if he lost this election. He could survive that. But Noel wasn’t so sure he could survive Ryla walking out on him again. Not in a million years.

  Ryla’s father handed her off to him. Noel grabbed her hand and pulled her close to him. Noel wanted to lean over and whisper in her ear, “Marry me for real.” But he kept his mouth shut, even though he knew that his heart would surely break the moment Ryla walked out on him. But better she do it now, rather than later.

  The preacher cleared his throat as they stood before him. When he opened his mouth he read from the book of Genesis and quoted Proverbs, “Who findeth a wife findeth a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.”

  The preacher went on to encourage them about the benefits of marriage. He then turned to the guests and asked, “Is there anyone here who knows of a reason these two should not be joined together?”

  Noel wanted to raise his hands. Because the reason they should be joined together was standing next to them holding a basket of rose petals. As much as Noel wanted to make this thing between himself and Ryla real, he knew he had to trust her beyond any doubts. No marriage could work without trust.

  No one spoke out against Ryla or Noel, so the preacher continued. He turned to Noel and said, “Repeat after me.”

  Noel held on to Ryla’s hand, looked her in the eye and waited for the opportunity to repeat his vows.

  The preacher stated the first line of the vows, and then Noel said, “I, Noel Carter, take you, Ryla Evans, to be my wedded wife.” With those first words, Noel felt as if his heart was about to explode. He wanted to bend down, grab his knee and call for a time-out.

  But he felt calmer as he repeated after the preacher.

  “Now, here’s the really important part,” the preacher said, as he provided Noel with the words that pledged his faithfulness to Ryla.

  The preacher did not know them personally, so he had no way of knowing that the pledge of faithfulness would be most important to Ryla. As Noel repeated the words, Ryla started to tear up. He wanted to wrap her in his arms and wipe each tear away, but it was time for Ryla to leave him again.

  As Noel thought about Ryla running down that aisle away from him and all that could have been between them, he wanted to kick himself for being such an idiot and not figuring out a way to forgive Ryla so the three of them could be a family.

  The preacher turned to Ryla and said, “Repeat these words after me.�
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  Noel closed his eyes, not wanting to watch Ryla walk out of his life again.

  The preacher said, “I, Ryla Evans, take you, Noel Carter, to be my wedded husband.”

  Noel not only had his eyes closed, he was holding his breath, waiting for the moment when Ryla would call the wedding off and run out of here.

  But instead, he heard, “I, Ryla Evans, take you, Noel Carter, to be my wedded husband.”

  What was happening? What did he miss? Noel opened his eyes and stared at Ryla as she pledged to stick with him through sickness and in health, “till death do us part.” He turned to Ian, who stood as one of his best men along with his brother. But Ian appeared as confused as he.

  Noel looked at the preacher as he quoted the “I will be faithful” line. He turned back to Ryla, waiting for her to say something like “Just kidding,” and then start running, but instead he saw the tears in her eyes. Her voice broke as she tightened the hold on his hands and repeated the last line.

  His eyes were blinking, trying to telegraph a “what are you doing?” message to her, while the tears in her eyes and the look on her face implored for him to understand. He didn’t understand this at all.

  Chapter 18

  “You may now kiss your bride.”

  Ryla saw Noel hesitate and she started chewing her bottom lip. Had she overplayed her hand? What if he rejected her in front of all two hundred of their closest friends and family?

  Noel slowly leaned forward and lowered his head until their lips touched. The kiss was soft and sweet, nothing like the hunger Noel normally displayed when he kissed her. When their lips parted, he glared at her for the briefest moment and then came up smiling as if he’d just won a gold medal.

  The penetrating glare they’d just shared made her wonder if she’d just won the battle only to lose the war of love. She squeezed his hand, trying to communicate her love for him.

  The preacher then told them to turn around and face their guests. Once they had done so, he said, “Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Mr. and Mrs. Noel Jaylen Carter.”