Book Girl and the Famished Spirit

by Mizuki Nomura

  “I saw someone you know today.”

  She turned when I spoke and gazed at me tranquilly.

  “I heard a lot about you two from your housekeeper, Ms. Wada.”

  Yoshie Wada, whom Ryuto kindly introduced to me, had been a longtime housekeeper at the Amemiya household. She had been working at the mansion since Amemiya’s father was a child.

  “I see… I suppose she didn’t have anything good to say about me,” Kayano said disinterestedly. “That I left all the work to her or that I was never home… that I was willful and selfish, that I would throw tantrums all the time, or that I would break dishes on the floor and scream at people… You don’t have to say a word. I know. The servants often whispered that ‘the missus is in another stormy mood.’ Takashi was a gentleman and kind, and his younger sister Reiko was adorable and proper, and they were both very nice to me. The house was magnificent as well and the food delicious. It was like being in heaven… I shouldn’t have had any reason to be unhappy. So why, I wonder, did I feel the need to kick up such tempests?”

  Takashi was Kayano’s husband, and Reiko was his younger sister. They were Amemiya’s father and aunt respectively.

  Ms. Wada had told us that her master’s heart was a little weak, but that he was a kind, placid man. He fell so deeply in love that he practically worshipped the ground on which his wife walked, and he cherished his daughter Hotaru as well.

  “And Hotaru was the only one to whom the missus would not raise her voice. She would often take Hotaru with her to visit her own family estate. Although the missus’s parents died quite early on, so there was no one living there. The master would grumble about how dangerous it was for two women to stay at the house alone.

  “She must have been very attached to the home she had grown up in. Before her illness took her, she whined that she wanted to go home. It caused the master a good deal of consternation.”

  When we’d asked what had become of that estate now, Ms. Wada had lowered her voice as if speaking of something cursed.

  “Mr. Kurosaki and Hotaru are living at the missus’s home now.

  “After the missus died, the house was completely remodeled and rented out. Mr. Kurosaki drove the tenants out and began living there himself, though it must be inconvenient for the two of them to live in such a large mansion on top of a hill. I wonder what he intends.”

  Ms. Wada frowned disapprovingly.

  I had my own questions. Like why Kurosaki had sold the house Amemiya was living in and deliberately moved them to such a big house, which was Kayano’s old home. Could that be an accident?

  “I have never trusted Mr. Kurosaki. Ever since Miss Reiko brought that man to the house, I had a bad feeling about him. Of course, he acted the part of the upstanding gentleman, but his table manners were a bit strange. When eating pork sauté, he would simply bite into the lemon provided rather than squeeze it over the meat and then lick his fingers clean. You would never mistake him for a gentleman who had been raised in a proper household.

  “He wore lightly tinted sunglasses, I suppose, because his eyes were bad. But from time to time, you know, I caught the gaze he hid behind those sunglasses, and it would send a chill down my spine. You might say that though he smiled with his lips, his eyes never smiled. Like a hungry wolf lying in wait for his prey… That was the sort of ominous feel his eyes gave you.

  “The master was dead set against her marriage to Mr. Kurosaki. But Miss Reiko was utterly infatuated with him. She went so far as to say that she would elope if the master wouldn’t give his blessing, so he was forced to acknowledge them. And as a result, all those awful things…

  “It’s very sad… That man has seized all of Hotaru’s property and taken her away from her family, who ought to have been there to protect her, and she’s been left all by herself.”

  “Wada was very fond of Hotaru. She took care of her as if she were her own granddaughter. And she continued to do so even after I died,” Kayano murmured, her gaze dropping to her feet.

  “That’s how it sounded. Ms. Wada was worried about Amemiya. Last year, she saw Amemiya for her sixteenth birthday, and she said that Amemiya had gotten so skinny and as unresponsive as a doll.”

  Kayano listened in silence.

  “But she told us that she gave Amemiya something she had received from you.”

  “It was wrapped so I don’t know what was inside, but it was a box about this big.”

  Ms. Wada indicated a box about the size of a college notebook.

  “Before the missus passed, she asked me to give it to Hotaru on her sixteenth birthday. I had kept it all that time.”

  “What was it that you gave her?”

  Kayano’s thin shoulders trembled, as if she was struggling with something, and she circled her arms around herself, hugging her body tightly.

  “That’s… secret.” Her voice shook uncharacteristically. “I can’t tell anyone that.”

  The way she was carrying herself, her expression, her slender fingers, her white legs—it all seemed so ephemeral, as if she would disappear at any moment… I called out to her without thinking, “Amemiya?”

  She started and looked up. Then she smiled at me with Kayano’s face.

  A proud, arrogant smile.

  “No. I am Kayano. After all, Hotaru doesn’t matter to anyone. But that’s not important anymore. Hotaru and Kayano will both disappear very soon…”

  “What do you mean?”

  Her face looked suddenly sad again; then she dropped her feet heavily to the floor and murmured, “We are finally leaving the world of the living behind. If half of your soul has committed a sin and been cast into hell, isn’t that the duty of the half that’s left behind? It would be wrong for only one part to be saved and go to heaven.”

  I had no idea what she meant. Everything she’d told me tumbled through my mind, confusing me terribly.

  I needed to walk up to her and ask my questions this time.

  What’s making you suffer? What is it you truly hope for? Why did you pray to go back to the past? Why did Hotaru Amemiya have to become Kayano Kujo?

  Who is your “he”?

  But my mouth and feet were both paralyzed. Now—I have to ask now. I may never see her again. Why am I hesitating?!

  Her soft, chestnut-colored hair billowed around her as she passed by me.

  That same smell tickled my nostrils again—a clean scent that filled me with dread, which I had smelled somewhere before.

  Unable to speak, I stood rooted to the spot, watching a phantom go by.

  Chapter 4 – Spirit from the Past

  On the first day of midterms, I overslept.

  I had been thinking back over everything that happened in the chemistry lab the night before and hadn’t taken any time to study.

  I woke up at my desk, and when I looked at my clock, I saw it was morning.

  Gasping, I ran into my classroom. I asked Akutagawa if he had seen Tohko yet.

  “She left that for you,” he said and pointed at my desk.

  It was a paperback copy of Sōseki Natsume’s I Am a Cat.

  I flipped cautiously through it and found a violet bookmark. Tohko had written on it in big letters in Magic Marker: “You stink!”

  I was staggered by this bald-faced insult that was utterly devoid of vocabulary or grace. It was so unlike a book girl.

  Geez, what a childish thing to do. She must be pretty mad…

  Kotobuki was glaring at me like always, too. Nothing but headaches.

  After a crushing defeat on my exam, school was out for the day. Ryuto was drinking a soda at our usual restaurant. He brushed aside my anxiety. “Don’t sweat it. Tohko’s real easy. Just leave her alone for two or three days, and she’ll get over it.”

  “No, I know she’s totally pigheaded. She’s going to hold this grudge for a long time, just like Anne of Green Gables swore she would never talk to Gilbert again.”

  “Wow, you know Tohko pretty well, huh?”

  He grinned slyly, a
s if this wasn’t actually a huge problem for me, and suddenly something clicked.

  “You know, this is all your fault in the first place. I’ve been wondering for a while now. Why did you get me involved in this?”

  “Just ’cause you and Hotaru go to the same school.”

  I glared at him as he dodged the question.

  “That can’t be the only reason. I’ve watched you the last couple of days, and I can tell. You get things done, and you can butter people up, and you’re smart. You would be perfect as the lead character in a detective novel—unlike me. You don’t need help from a guy like me. So why did you drag me into this? You didn’t just want a bumbling Watson around because the detective’s brilliance stands out too much, did you?”

  Ryuto shrugged and gave a rueful smile.

  “I’m not such an awful guy. I just wanted to find out what Tohko’s author was like.”

  My cheeks flared with heat. Did he just call me Tohko’s author? What was he saying?

  “And what does that mean?” I shot back to hide how much I was reeling.

  Ryuto rested his chin in his hand and looked me right in the eye.

  “Exactly what I said. I wanted to find out about you. When Tohko told you to stay out of it, I realized you were the Konoha she was always talking about. She’d mentioned all sorts of stuff before that, so I had been wondering about you, but when I saw you, I started to wonder even more. So I went to your school to meet you. I asked for your help with Hotaru because I needed an excuse to talk to you.”

  “This sounds like a pickup line. You don’t like boys, do you?”

  A carefree, childlike smile came over his masculine face.

  “Nope. I love girls too much.”

  “I’m just Tohko’s errand boy in charge of snacks. She eats the improv stories I write and then gripes about how it’s too watery or there’s not enough salt or the organization is jumbled and there’s no mellowness. And just recently she was sobbing about how spicy something was and that she had to eat some Joan Aiken stories to get rid of the taste. And anyway, I’m not an author.”

  Miu’s spiteful eyes cut into my mind and filled it, digging her talons into my heart.

  I gritted my teeth against the sharp pain that shot through me.

  No—!

  I don’t want to feel that way anymore! An author is the last thing I would ever want to be!

  “Well, whatever. Let’s leave that to wrap up later. I haven’t read anything you’ve written yet anyway,” Ryuto said meaningfully and then sucked at the straw in his soda.

  I took small, deep breaths and calmed myself down. I took the notes Tohko had left out of my bag and arranged them on the table.

  “… Let’s get back on track. These are the notes we found in our mailbox. There were some with blood spatters or burn marks, too, but I don’t think Amemiya wrote those, so I didn’t bring them.”

  Ryuto looked at the scraps of paper—“hate you,” “a ghost,” “help”—and frowned. He picked up each note in his thick fingers and peered closely at it. When he saw the note that said “4-5,” his eyes narrowed suspiciously.

  “What are these numbers?”

  “I don’t know. Though Tohko says they mean ‘death (4) finds you (5).”

  “That’s… pleasant.” Ryuto smirked. “Well, why don’t we just ask Hotaru?”

  “What?”

  I gaped. Ryuto looked up at someone and his eyes crinkled in a smile. “Hey there, Hotaru.”

  I looked over in surprise and saw Amemiya standing in the restaurant, looking confused.

  Ryuto went over and put an arm around her shoulders, then brought her back. She was thus forced to sit next to him.

  “Why are… you here, Inoue?” Amemiya asked in a soft whisper, looking at my face.

  I hadn’t told Ryuto about how I had seen Kayano in the chemistry lab or how I had talked to Amemiya in the library. I had no idea how I should react.

  Ryuto answered flippantly, a smile carved into his face as he spoke.

  “We’re best buds. Right, Konoha?”

  “… I met Ryuto a couple days ago. Sorry I didn’t tell you. I wasn’t trying to hide it. There just wasn’t a good time to mention it.”

  Amemiya looked down.

  “Anyway, order something, Hotaru.”

  “… I’m sorry, I just ate.”

  “I doubt that. Today I swear I’m gonna get you to eat somethin’. Harumi? I need a chicken salad, corn soup, and French toast.”

  As Ryuto gave his order to the waitress he knew, Amemiya folded her thin hands in her lap, knit her eyebrows, and shrank in on herself with a morose look on her face.

  “Hotaru? Were you the one who left these notes in the book club’s mailbox?”

  Ryuto showed her the note that said “help,” and Amemiya raised her head slightly. Tears filled her eyes, and she looked back down.

  “I… don’t know who did that.”

  “When you say it like that, I can’t really believe you. You wrote these. You heard about the mailbox from me and went to find it, didn’t you? And you leave these notes every night. Why would you do somethin’ like that? Did you want someone to listen to you? Did you want someone to help you? You could have just told me. I’ll help you. What is it that’s botherin’ you? When we first met that night in the storm, you were wearin’ an old sailor suit and ridin’ the swings… Why were you doin’ that?”

  Ryuto peppered her with questions.

  “Is it connected to your guardian somehow?”

  Amemiya shuddered, but she kept her head down. My heart ached to see her bite down on her bottom lip so hard.

  “Maybe I should go,” I offered quietly, but she shook her head.

  “No… you stay, Inoue. I’m… going home.”

  Then she looked at Ryuto with her beautiful eyes brimming with deep sadness.

  “Thank you for being with me all this time, Ryu. I came here today to tell you I want to break up. I think this should be the last time we see each other.”

  Ryuto’s eyes widened, and he threw himself at Amemiya in a panic.

  “What are you talkin’ about?! Why all of a sudden? Did your guardian say somethin’ to you? That guy in the sunglasses who followed me around was your uncle, wasn’t he? And wasn’t he the one who had those punks attack me? It was, wasn’t it? Hotaru?”

  Amemiya answered in a thin whisper, “You haven’t left me… like all the other boys I’ve dated. So it would be bad… if we kept going.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “… I’m sorry.”

  Amemiya picked up her bag and stood, just as the food arrived. Ryuto grabbed Amemiya’s arm and pulled her back into her chair.

  “Eat. If you eat the whole thing, maybe I’ll think about breakin’ up.”

  His face was wild, filled with naked rage. Amemiya looked back at him with tears in her eyes, but finally she hung her head and picked up a spoon.

  As soon as she dipped the silver spoon into the creamy yellow soup, Amemiya’s grip on the spoon tightened. She probably would have dropped it otherwise.

  She seemed to waver at that point, but apparently resolved, she ladled up some soup and brought it to her mouth.

  Something strange happened then: Amemiya covered her mouth with her hand, as if she’d just swallowed poison, and she fell out of her chair and onto her knees on the floor.

  The spoon made a cold sound as it fell from her hand and struck the floor.

  Amemiya pressed her hands over her mouth; her eyes widened and her body convulsed.

  “Hotaru, are you—?”

  Ryuto knelt on the floor beside her and put his arms around her.

  “Do you need to go to the bathroom?”

  Shaking her head, Amemiya assured him that she was fine. She glanced toward one corner of the restaurant, and her eyes grew wider again.

  Terror was written clearly on her face.

  Amemiya shoved Ryuto away powerfully and grabbed her bag.

  “I’m sor
ry. I have to go. I’m sorry, I really am,” she murmured repeatedly, her face ashen, and she ran toward the door.

  Ryuto chased after her. I got up and followed them, too.

  Before she could get out of the restaurant, Ryuto caught her shoulder.

  “Are you angry that I tried to force you to eat? I’m sorry; I shouldn’t have. I’ll walk you home. You don’t look too good.”

  “No!” Amemiya shrieked, throwing Ryuto off. She looked desperate to get away from us and escape the restaurant as soon as she possibly could.

  “You can’t ever talk to me again. Good-bye.”

  With that, Amemiya ran out the door.

  “Dammit…”

  When we got back to our table, Ryuto hugged his head and fell across the table.

  “Looks like I messed up, Konoha. I didn’t mean to back her into a corner like that.”

  The sight of Ryuto in such low spirits made me realize that he really was a boy in high school, despite how much bigger he was than me.

  He may have been a smart aleck and a hit with women and decisive and someone who got things done, like the butt-kicking hero of a detective novel, but there were some things that even he couldn’t do, and even he could get depressed.

  I felt closer to him than I had before.

  “Cheer up, Ryuto. I think you showed Amemiya that you’re honestly worried about her. I’ll try talking to her tomorrow at school.”

  “Thanks.”

  Still, Ryuto kept his face buried against the table for a while.

  I couldn’t get my mind off the terror Amemiya had shown just before she shoved Ryuto.

  What had she seen? It was definitely over there somewhere…

  I remembered where she had been looking and glanced subtly in that direction.

  There was a potted plant and behind it a table. There was a coffee cup on the table, but the seat was empty.

  Just as I started to convince myself that there was nothing odd about any of that, I realized steam was rising up from the coffee cup.

  There was still coffee in it, and it was fresh.

  I looked more closely.