Summer Burns

by Candice Gilmer

  "Emma, honey..."

  "I was just thinking it..." she said, and slumped.

  Matthew nudged her. "Hey, let's go run in the rain."

  Her eyes lit up and she hopped up from the picnic table. "Can I Mom? Can I? Can I?"

  "Sure," she said.

  He turned to Summer. "Come on," he gestured for her to join them.

  She shook her head. "No, you go on, I'll keep an eye on our stuff."

  He raised his eyebrow. "I'm sure our stuff will be fine." No one was around anywhere.

  She still hesitated.

  "Come on Mommy!" Emma cried, running around in the rain. While it wasn't down-pouring, it was coming down hard enough that her hair was already pretty wet and her little blue shirt clung to her.

  Summer glanced at the table, then back at Emma. "Okay, for just a minute."

  Emma and Matthew ran in and danced in the rain. Summer kept glancing at their stuff.

  He put his hand on her arm. "It's okay."

  She glanced at Emma, probably so she didn't have to look at him when she spoke. He noticed that she did that a lot. "My house was robbed once when Jake was overseas. Ever since I've always been very paranoid."

  "I didn't know." He touched her chin, drawing her around to look at him. "Don't worry. I got this."

  He smiled to reassure her, but it seemed to do the opposite.

  She snorted and turned away. "I'm fine."

  "I can help."

  "Yeah, everyone helps the little widow. Poor pitiful girl. Can't do anything herself."

  "I never said that."

  She brushed wet hair out of her face. "But you thought it. Everyone does. Don't worry though, I've got it handled. Have for years."

  "You think that' why I'm here?"

  "Isn't it?" She crossed her arms. "You said you promised him you'd check on me."

  "Would you have me deny a dying man?"

  She took a couple steps away.

  Fuck.

  Now he'd done it.

  "Summer."

  "You were there then?"

  He nodded.

  This time, when she met his gaze, her eyes shined with tears.

  Thunder clapped.

  "You wouldn't be here if it wasn't for Jake."

  He was about to respond, but Emma came running over, soaking wet, and muddy from the knees down, and he stopped himself.

  He wasn't going to argue with her mother in front of her. Or disagree or whatever this was. He respected Jake too much.

  "Mister Maffew," Emma said, wrapping her arms around him.

  "It's okay, kiddo," he said, but really, he meant the words more for her mother than for her.

  Summer leaned into him, and they all stood there in the rain. It was good, though, because it hid the tears that had run down Summer's cheeks.

  "That silly thunder is just the potato wagon falling over," Matthew said.

  "The potato wagon? Really?" Emma's eyes got wide.

  "Yep." He began to spin the tale he remembered his own grandparents telling him when he was little when it would storm, about the sounds.

  In a moment, Emma was adding her own details to the story. In a moment longer, they all were laughing, and Emma drug them out to the puddles again.

  Summer was still reluctant, but she went.

  It didn't take long, though, before they all were dancing and laughing in the rain. They jumped and splashed in puddles. Emma even yelled at the thunder when it scared her.

  So this is what a family felt like, he thought to himself. Damn, Jake, you were a lucky bastard...

  Summer danced around, and stumbled, but he caught her arm, and pulled her against him.

  He stared in her eyes--the rain had flattened her hair to her face, and it hung against her skin. She smiled, her hand on his chest, a laugh caught in her eyes, but she paused.

  "What's the matter?" She asked.

  "You look so beautiful," he said.

  "Ha," she laughed. "Probably more like a drowned rat."

  "No." He leaned in, intent on putting a kiss on those lips, to taste them again, something he'd been wanting to do for days.

  For a second she smiled, but she put the brakes on before he could actually make contact.

  Her gaze darted to the side, and he turned to look--there, Emma was staring at them, her jaw wide open.

  "You trying to catch the rain?" he asked the little girl.

  "Huh?"

  "With your mouth open like that, you trying to catch rain drops?"

  Emma grinned, and threw her head back, her mouth open as big as possible to catch the rain.

  So Summer and Matthew joined in.

  If someone were watching, they would see the three of them and think this was a family.

  So why did it disappoint him so much that it wasn't really his?

  Chapter Fifteen

  Friday

  "So why in the Hell didn't you tell me he was coming in here?" Autumn yelled at me. My sister looked like she'd leaped aboard the crazy train, kicked the driver out and took over. She'd hauled me outside after my last haircut left--a guy I'd been cutting forever.

  "Who?" My only break today, and I have to spend it yelling at my crazy sister? I don't think so.

  I started to go back inside--it was hot as hell out here.

  Autumn, however, wasn't having it. "Louie Castle! You think you'd have the common courtesy to let me know he was getting his hair cut in the salon!"

  I stared at my sister. "Why the hell would you care?" I knew Louie, I've known him for years--he's had me cut his hair since forever. Okay, since I came home and started working here, but, whatever, same thing. Sure, we both went to the same high school, but he was several years younger than me.

  "Because she dated him in high school," Mom said, joining us out back.

  I blinked. "You did?" I was moved out by the time Autumn started dating. Like I'd know who she'd been with.

  "Yeah. For like a year." She crossed her arms.

  "That guy? You called him 'King.' I thought that was his name." Well that explained the clipped attitudes today from my last client, Louie, and my sister. I wondered at the time why she was giving him the evil eye, but I figured, since Louie was in his police attire, that it was just Autumn's typical rebellion against authority.

  Had no idea he was her ex.

  Wow. Living with my sister is a pain in the ass, I can't imagine what she must be like to date.

  "What about you, Mom? I mean, how many times did Louie come over to our house all through senior year, Mom? How many?"

  "Be calm, Autumn, now you are acting like a petulant child."

  "Well, I have a right to be! When my ex-boyfriend walks into the beauty shop, you'd think I would need a moment to prepare!"

  "Why?" Mom asked.

  "Yeah, what does it matter, if he's your ex?" I added.

  "Because, it does." She paced around the back alley. "Because it would be like--like Dad just showing up."

  "You know that will not happen," Mom said.

  "Exactly. It shouldn't ever happen. But it did." She ran her hands over her head, and holy moly, were those tears in her heavily-made up eyes?

  "Well, if it's any consolation, he's never once asked about you," I added, which actually made her cry as she went inside.

  I glanced at my mom. "I completely didn't see that one coming."

  Mom shrugged. "They were young and in love once. But they had different paths in life."

  I nodded. In my head, I tried to mix the guy I knew as Louie Castle--the canine unit officer--with my sister. "I would have never guessed she would be with someone like him."

  Mom shrugged. "We all make mistakes."

  "I guess." I said. I was starting to get hot in the sunshine. Already it had to be nearing one hundred degrees. "Seriously Mom, we need a tree out here or something."

  "Where would you suggest?" Mom covered her eyes so the sun didn't glare in her face and gestured to the concrete alleyway behind the strip mall. All the stores o
pened up to the back alley for deliveries and such, and it wasn't pretty back here, but it worked as a place to get away for a minute if anyone needed to.

  We did have a couple of concrete benches against the building and the bucket that had been dubbed the 'cigarette-butt graveyard,' for the smokers. Still, when that sun got overhead, wow.

  It was stifling.

  "Maybe an awning or something?

  "You build it, you can have it," my mother said. "And Matthew is here."

  I blinked. "Why didn't you say so?"

  "I just did."

  I darted back inside, and found Matthew at the front desk, talking with Autumn. More like listening to her whine about this horrid infraction of me not telling her that her ex came in here to get a haircut.

  Seriously. I was going to break my eyeballs with all the eye rolling she caused, I swear.

  "Autumn," I said.

  Matthew glanced at me and held up a bag. "Thought you would like some lunch."

  I blushed and warm fuzzies ran through me, because, yeah, I hadn't eaten much today. And I didn't think anyone had ever just brought me lunch. Even my husband.

  "Thank you." I gave him a hug, and I sniffed a couple times, because the gesture touched me so much. It was stupid, but I had to blink away the tears in my eyes. Yep, I'm sappy when it came to stuff like this. I kept myself turned away from him so he wouldn't see my goofiness, and gestured for him to follow me to the back.

  He was in his fatigues, cutting a very nice silhouette, and several of the little old ladies sat up and took notice.

  And also made comments about how handsome he was. And his attention to me. And their own speculations.

  Great. If only when I'm eighty, can I be so lucky to be so ornery.

  Then there's the one client I didn't particularly want to notice him--Shelby. She sat on the far side of the salon, getting a pedicure. The way her gaze ran over Matthew made me want to go shove her face in the foot-bath until she blew bubbles.

  If Matthew noticed her attention, he didn't acknowledge it. However, if he was anything like Jake, he always noticed details. Hopefully he was too busy being embarrassed by the senior commentary.

  Just stepping off the noisy salon floor, I smirked, because he looked a bit uncomfortable.

  "What's the matter, Matthew? Need some Estrogen-Be-Gone?"

  He grinned. "Well, when you're as hot as I am..." He puffed up his chest.

  I laughed. We went into the break room, where several coworkers were having lunch.

  "Um," I muttered. "Well, it's kinda crowded in here." I didn't realize that everyone was taking a lunch right now, or so it seemed--the break room was packed with coworkers. Okay, four, but still...?

  "Go in the massage room," Audra said as she sipped on her tea.

  I blinked. "Um, that might not be appropriate." My cheeks got warm.

  Massage rooms, in theory, are just for massages. But there's this whole sexual connotation--the idea of naughty things happening in massage parlors and such, I didn't want Matthew thinking I was thinking that way.

  Which I so totally was, though I didn't mean to.

  It just sort of popped in there.

  Because regardless of how we ended the night the other day, he was still cute. When we parted after our rainy evening, I wasn't sure he would want to see me again.

  I tried a few overly long texts last night, but either they didn't go through or he didn't want to talk to me.

  So his appearance at the salon meant more than I wanted to articulate in front of coworkers.

  I met his gaze, and I had a feeling he wanted to talk too.

  Audra smirked. I was pretty sure she thought she knew exactly what I was thinking. My warm cheeks probably didn't help. "Your mom eats in there all the time when she wants to be alone," Audra said.

  "It's fine, I can go back to work," Matthew said. I felt his hand brush the small of my back, and I wasn't ready for him to leave yet.

  We needed to talk.

  "No, Audra's right. We can go in the massage room." I led him to the massage room.

  "Summer, I can go," he said as he stepped into the hall with me.

  I shook my head. "I don't want you to." I looked into his eyes and found myself caught--he held me there, without a word, and I felt that zing between us.

  Which really sucked, because I didn't want to feel a zing at all.

  I wanted to...

  Matthew pushed the door to the massage room open. "Here," he said, breaking the silence between us.

  The earthy smells of Mom's oil collection wafted out to greet us. This was Mom's domain, hence the very eccentric décor of dreamcatchers, feathers, and other Native American totems in between bottles and bowls and measuring cups.

  "Wow," Matthew said.

  I shrugged. "I know. Mom likes her stuff." The room smelled strongly of sage.

  He gestured to the massage table. "Why is there a hole in the one end of that table?"

  "So you can lay on your stomach and still breathe."

  He tipped his head to the side, then nodded. "Okay." He sat the lunch bag down, and I grabbed a couple of towels.

  He put his hand on my arm.

  I froze.

  "We okay?" he asked.

  "Don't know, are we?"

  He reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone. Started scrolling through it.

  I raised my eyebrow, immediately wondering if whatever zing I'd felt before was my imagination, because his attention seemed squarely on his phone.

  "If you have to take a call," I started.

  "In answer to your questions--one, no. I wouldn't be as involved with you if I was just fulfilling a promise."

  My cheeks grew hot.

  He was re-reading--and answering--my texts from last night.

  "Matthew--"

  He held up a finger. "No. I will not discuss those events that day. You don't need to know what happened. It was war. Some things are not worth knowing. You are better off not knowing."

  I nodded. I probably didn't need to know the details of Jake's death.

  "You don't have to--"

  "Lastly, you were always special to me, Summer. Did Jake know that? No idea at the time. I think now, anyway, he knew I cared. Or he wouldn't have asked me to check on you."

  Dumbfounded, I stared as he put away his phone.

  "Still hungry?"

  I nodded. What could I say? I was on info overload.

  I should have considered before but didn't until last night anyway really consider. Matthew was there when Jake died. He knew how and why my husband didn't make it.

  More than I knew, in any case.

  Somewhere in the back of my mind, I figured Matthew and Jake made some soldier's promise over a can of baked beans one night.

  I didn't think that it might have actually been made on Jake's last dying breath. The concept hit me hard--possibly as hard as the actual death had hit me.

  And because there's a yin to every yang, this other side of me is flabbergasted at Matthew's admission that he'd always cared about me. School memories played in my mind, and I remember Matthew being there, but there was very little. He'd been Jake's rival on the wrestling team. Why would I have had anything to do with him? I wasn't mean to him or anything, I just, well, Jake was my focus.

  I didn't know what I was supposed to say, so I started spreading out lunch. Using the massage table as a, well, table, we both stood on one side to eat. He'd brought two sandwiches from the deli down the way in the strip mall, I recognized the sandwich wrappers.

  "You okay?" he asked after he'd taken a bite.

  "Yeah." The sandwich he'd brought me was exactly what I needed. Lots of lunchmeat, cheese and veggies.

  Focusing on the sandwich kept my brain from crossing into all the swirling feelings.

  Because there were a lot.

  "Listen, I--"

  It was my turn to cut him off. "Why are you still here? I'm fine. You fulfilled your promise."

  He took a s
tep toward me, and I could feel his body heat, he'd gotten so close, without actually touching me. "Because I want to be."

  "Do you get everything you want?"

  He raised his eyebrow. "I'm in the Army. What do you think?"

  I smirked. "But you have all those extra stripes, Sergeant." I took a bite of my sandwich.

  "Doesn't mean I get to do what I want."

  "What do you want to do?"

  He smiled, a very naughty glint in his eyes.

  "Um."

  "I have ideas."

  He put his hand on his top button of his shirt. Completely mesmerized, I watched his fingers undo the button. Desire hummed through me--how did he do that? Turn me on with a look?

  It was amazing.

  Something I'd love to study sometime.

  Anytime.

  Now.

  He gestured to the black smock I wore that covered me from neck to knees. "Take it off."

  I undid a button, though really, only one button held it shut, so when I finished, it flapped open, revealing my little summer dress underneath. I laid the smock on the table, my hands trembling.

  He pulled me closer to him. "Are you afraid?"

  I shook my head. Then nodded.

  "Which is it, Summer?" he asked.

  I reached up and put my hand on his cheek. "You don't scare me, Matthew Hennessey. This, however, does." And it did.

  This whole thing we had going on.

  Because, damn, I wanted this guy. Like all the time.

  I couldn't stand having to wait until the weekends to spend any time with him, and the time we did get to spend together seemed so limited.

  He was making me nutty. In all the ways. Good and bad.

  He wrapped his arms around me, kissing me with a ferocity that left me breathless. As I wrapped my arms around him, he twisted and sat me on the massage table.

  I never quite appreciated the awkward height of a massage table until just then, when Matthew pushed up my dress, and stepped between my legs. I was positioned just exactly right to know how he felt in the moment.

  In all the ways.

  Lunch was lost as we kissed. His hands were all over me, and I tugged at his uniform.

  There were a lot of layers between us, not the most conducive to a quickie, but I was willing to work with--

  Holy crap!