by Melissa Hill
She walked quickly towards the seafront just in time to see a DART train pull out of the station. A sign proclaimed that there wouldn’t be another train for at least twenty minutes. Trying to stay calm, Jenny walked across to the ferry terminal, and went inside to get something warm to drink. Though it was a mild evening, she felt icy inside. Clutching the warm paper cup, she went for a short walk along Dun Laoghaire pier.
As the evenings were now beginning to stay brighter for longer, the pier was packed with dog-walkers, joggers and, unfortunately for Jenny’s sake, couples walking
arm-in-arm. She watched one guy tenderly kiss his girlfriend’s forehead, and wrap his arms around her as they looked out over the harbour at nothing in particular.
Jenny felt totally out of place amongst them all. Everyone seemed so happy and carefree, just going about his or her business on a fresh spring evening. Was she the only one that was aching inside? It wasn’t fair.
She made her way back towards the Dart station, and this time managed to catch a train easily. As the train travelled along the coast towards town, Jenny thought she had never felt so alone. She wouldn’t say anything to Roan, not yet. She wasn’t sure how he might react to this. There wasn’t anyone at work that she could trust with it either. She and Olivia had become very good friends over the last few months, and she had often confided in the other girl about her feelings towards Roan, and the fact that Karen didn’t approve of him. What would Karen say if she knew Jenny’s situation now? She couldn’t tell her, that was for sure. She wouldn’t know where to start. It was strange, because she and Karen rarely kept secrets from one another, but they had really drifted apart in the last few months. Jenny knew that it all stemmed from her relationship with Roan. While it hurt her to admit it, lately she had the feeling that maybe Karen had been right to warn her.
The train pulled in to Pearse Street station, and Jenny got off, walking quickly out of the station, and out onto the street. Her heart heavy, she signalled for a taxi and luckily one stopped at the kerb almost straightaway.
“Rathmines, please,” she said to the driver, who grunted in response. Good, she thought, setting herself in the back seat. She wasn’t in the mood for small talk.
As she stared at the streets outside, Jenny kept repeating in her mind everything that the doctor had told her. The longer she thought about it, the worse she felt.
Despite her best intentions to stay calm, Jenny felt a lump in her throat, and soon after she dissolved into silent tears. She turned her head towards the window, trying her best to ensure the taxi driver couldn’t see her. He’d think she was some kind of madwoman.
After he had dropped her off at the flat, Jenny went inside and ran upstairs.
As she remembered the doctor’s words as clearly as if he was sitting beside her, she was once more overtaken by a fresh bout of tears. Jenny sank down on the sofa and for what seemed like hours, cried as though her heart would break.
Chapter 11
Karen rushed in the door. “What’s wrong?” She gathered her friend in her arms, but at this Jenny began to cry even harder. What the hell was going on? Jenny looked as though she had been crying for days. “Jen, you’re scaring me – please tell me. Has something happened between you and Roan – is that it?”
Seeing her nod but unable to speak for crying, Karen continued. “Did you have a fight, love? What has he done?”
Jenny sat up and wiped the tears from her eyes. Her hair hung in strings around her face.
“I went to the doctor today … hic … and found out … I found out that I … hic.” She hiccupped furiously, unable to complete the sentence.
Karen’s heart dropped like a stone as she engulfed her in a huge hug. “Oh, honey, I understand – I had a feeling in the last few weeks that something was wrong, and I suspected it might be this, but …”
Oh no, she thought to herself. Not this. Not Jenny.
“The doctor must have thought I was a right harlot. Oh, it’s my own fault, Karen. I thought it would be OK not to use condoms, because I’m on the Pill.”
“Yes love, but the Pill isn’t a hundred percent effective – I thought you knew that,” Karen interrupted with a consoling smile.
Jenny looked confused. “It’s not effective at all, Karen, in this case – what are you talking about?”
“Look, Jen, it’s OK – I’ll be there for you,” she soothed, “and I’ll help you tell your parents if you like.”
Jenny gave her a lopsided smile. “‘Somehow, I don’t think I’ll be telling Mum and Dad about this. I’m not pregnant, Karen – that’s what you think, isn’t it? It’s nothing like that thank goodness. But,” her voice dropped to a low whisper, as she struggled to say the words, “I’ve picked up, some kind of … infection, and I must have picked it up from Roan. A sexual infection.” She looked away, mortified.
Karen stared at her friend, open-mouthed. She tried to say something but for a long moment, words escaped her. “What?” she whispered eventually. “Well, what type of infection? I can understand if you don’t want to tell me but …how serious is it, Jenny? It’s not –”
“Gonnorrhoea. I’ve been having a few problems, so I went to get it checked out, and the doctor called me in today to give me the results. I didn’t think … I mean, I had no idea it could be something like this – I just feel so disgusting.”
“Ohyou poor thing,” was all that Karen could manage, and as she hugged her friend again, her thoughts descended into fury.
The bastard. The good-for-nothing bastard. She’d kill Roan Williams when she got her hands on him. She knew it. He had finally tripped himself up – but how. Poor Jenny didn’t deserve this. No one did. She’d love to see him strung up by his –
“I haven’t said anything to him about it, yet. I suppose I’ll have to, but I just don’t know what he’ll say. God, I feel so dirty, Karen.”
“Don’t you dare blame yourself for this – you’re not the one that’s dirty. The sod.” Her voice softened when she saw Jenny’s hurt expression. “Honey, please don’t think that I’m pleased about this – I’m not and I’m definitely not going to say I told you so. But even you have to admit now that he’s not to be trusted. I mean, he’s obviously been two-timing you and with God knows who, or what? You have to find out, for your own sake.”
“I’ve suspected for a while that things haven’t been going well. This confirms it all though.” Jenny smiled ruefully. “What a way to find out that your boyfriend’s been cheating on you.”
Karen hugged her again. “I swear to God, if I get near him, I’ll murder him.”
Despite herself, Jenny had to laugh at her friend’s vehemence. “You know, I’ve kind of missed having you stick up for me.” She pushed her hair out of her eyes. “I know it’s been hard for you to hold your tongue about him, but I was too pig-headed to listen in the first place. I should have realised that you were only saying those things out of concern. I’m really sorry, Karen.”
She sniffed, and the two of them looked at one other momentarily before they burst out laughing.
“What a pair we are,” Karen said, shaking her head, “the two of us discovering on the same night that our men are complete and utter wasters.”
Jenny sat up quickly in surprise. “What do you mean – what’s Shane done?”
Karen told her about Shane’s decision to move to Germany and it was Jenny’s turn to be sympathetic.
“But forget that, what are you going to do now?” Karen asked eventually.
Jenny had brightened considerably since telling all about her predicament.
“Well, I’m not looking forward to it, but I suppose I’ll have to confront him.”
“And?” Karen probed, hoping that Jenny was going to dump the rat. She’d have to.
“And – I’ll tell Roan exactly where to go. I don’t need someone like him. I can’t believe that I fell for all the lies he must have been telling me. Remember at Christmas, when he was supposed to come home with me to
meet Mum and Dad and he cried off with the flu? I believed him, but that was probably a lie too.”
Karen nodded sagely.
“But why didn’t I see it before now?” Jenny asked, and then answered her own question. “There were signs from the very beginning, but I just ignored them all, because I wanted to believe that Roan was The One.”
Karen said nothing. She didn’t want to go down this road again.
“Right,” she said brightly, jumping up from the sofa, and taking two wineglasses out of the cupboard. “After all that, I think we could both do with a drink.”
Jenny gave her the thumbs up. “Karen – are you absolutely sure that you and Shane are finished?” she asked, while Karen rummaged in the drawer for a corkscrew. “After all, he’ll only be a couple of hours flight away. A long-term relationship might not be as difficult as you think.”
Karen shook her head firmly. “No, he made his decision without consulting me, so why should I be the one doing the running? As if it wouldn’t make any difference to our relationship,” she drawled, rolling her eyes.
Jenny shrugged. “But do you think it’s wise to make such a snap decision? You and Shane have been together for a while now.”
“That’s exactly my point. If the relationship meant anything to him, he wouldn’t be swanning off without a second thought, would he? Anyway, I don’t want to talk, or even think about it any more.” She filled each wineglass to the brim, and slowly handed one to Jenny, careful not to spill any. “So what about this other thing then? It’s curable, isn’t it? I mean … it won’t affect you permanently or anything?”
Jenny shook her head. “Apparently I caught it in time and, according to Dr Reilly, it’s supposedly easy enough to get rid of. He gave me some antibiotics and told me to abstain for a while, which won’t be a problem – so, hopefully, I’ll be fine.”
That was a relief, thought Karen to herself. She had read enough about sexually transmitted infections in woman’s magazines to know some of them, if left undetected could be very dangerous. She was glad that Jenny hadn’t been too embarrassed to go see a doctor about it. At least she was prepared to admit now, even to herself, that everything hadn’t been right with Roan.
With the way things were going, and now that there were no longer any barriers between them, she and Jenny would be back to normal in no time. She was looking forward to it. Now they could have a bit of a laugh together, just like old times. She’d arrange it with Tessa for the three of them to go on a rip-roaring girls’ night out in town soon.
And Roan Williams and Shane Quinn could go take a hike.
“Roan, we have a bit of problem.” Jenny tried to stop her hands from shaking.
“What’s wrong? Kevin told me that you called earlier. I had to work late tonight, sorry.”
Roan moved to kiss her on the lips and Jenny quickly stepped away from him. He stood back, surprised.
“As I said, we have a bit of problem. I went to the doctor a few days ago and – ”
“Whoa. Don’t tell me it’s that kind of problem,” he interrupted. “I thought you were on the Pill.” Jenny flinched at this reaction and seeing her face, he softened his tone. “It’s not that, is it, babe? You’re not pregnant are you, cos you know we’re both young and –”
“I’m not pregnant.”
His expression visibly relaxed.
“But I appear to have caught an STI from you.” Jenny was amazed at how calm she sounded, when her insides were churning.
“Caught? What? From me? What are you talking about?” Roan said, obviously thrown completely off balance.
“It appears that I have gonorrhoea.”
There, it was out. She waited for his reaction.
He turned away from her, and ran his hands through his thick dark hair. When he turned back to her, she saw a look of utter horror on his face.
“My God. You don’t think … my God. You think that I gave you that? Jenny, how could you think something like that?”
“Well, who else could I have got it from? I hope you’re not suggesting – how dare you? I haven’t been sleeping around, you know.”
Jenny eyes were bright. Karen had thought that he might go down this particular road but, up until now, she didn’t believe that he could be so low.
“No no, that’s not what I’m saying at all,” he said, cupping her face in his hands. “I know you wouldn’t sleep around. I trust you, Jenny. You wouldn’t be unfaithful to me,” he gazed at her steadily, “in the same way that I wouldn’t cheat on you. Surely there are other ways you could have picked up this thing?”
Jenny was confused. “What are you talking about? Naturally, I caught it from you. What are you saying? I don’t understand.”
“Well, what about your old boyfriend in Australia? I’m not trying to be mean but … didn’t you tell me that he had been cheating on you?”
“Well yes, but …” Jenny slumped down on the couch, no longer so sure of herself.
Roan seemed so hurt by the suggestion and was so adamant that he hadn’t been unfaithful. She supposed that it was a possibility that she could have caught it from Paul. The doctor had told her that these things could lie undetected for some time, and there was no way of knowing how long she'd had it. In fact, now that she thought about it, she’d ignored the symptoms for a long time before having it seen to. The problem was, she couldn’t remember exactly when those symptoms started.
“I hadn’t thought of that,” she admitted in small voice.
Roan knelt down in front of her, and held both her hands in his.
“Think about it. How else could you have picked it up? You and I are in a serious relationship together. There’s no one else involved here.” He put his arms around her and gathered her towards him.
“Oh I didn’t know what to think,” she whispered, tentatively returning his embrace. “I thought that maybe you had been, you know … I just wasn’t sure.”
“Sssh, it’s OK, I understand,” Roan soothed, “but we’ve been together for ages now, and you’re the only person I’ve been with since Siobhan. Please believe me,” he stroked her cheeks with his thumb, wiping away the tears, “I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you like that.”
Relief flooded through her and as she saw the concern in his eyes, she knew that she had made a mistake. How could she have doubted him like that? And how stupid of her to automatically assume he was being unfaithful, when there was concrete proof that Paul had been.
“I’m so sorry. You must think I’m awful, accusing you like that.” She looked up at him, her face full of remorse.
“It's OK, I know it must have been a bit of shock to you. I wondered why I hadn’t heard anything from you in the last few days. You poor thing – how are things now? Did the doctor get it sorted?”
The look of utter concern on his face made Jenny feel like an absolute heel. Here he was, all worried about her even after she had thrown something like that in his face.
“No, I’ll be fine but …” She grimaced, embarrassed, “you’ll have to be treated too. I don’t know what you must think of me. I should have trusted you, and I should come to you before automatically accusing you and –”
He took her in his arms again. “It’s fine, as long as you know now that I wouldn’t do anything like that.” He looked directly into her eyes. “You do know that, don’t you?”
“I wouldn’t blame you if you never wanted to see me again.”
“Don’t be silly, it was just a little misunderstanding. But I take it that we have to behave ourselves for a while?”
Jenny nodded and he kissed her on the nose. “Look, why don’t you go into the bathroom and freshen up, and we’ll go for a nice quiet pint somewhere.” He patted the pockets in his jeans. “The thing is, I haven’t been able to find my wallet anywhere today so I might have to –”
“Oh, I can sort that out,” Jenny piped up quickly, eager to please.
“Are you sure? It should be around here somewhere but –”
<
br /> “It’s no problem. The least I can do is buy you a few drinks after all this.”
“Well, if you’re sure ...” Roan flashed her a winning smile.
Jenny went into the bathroom and splashed cold water on her face to get rid of the tearstains on her cheeks, relieved that things were back to normal between them.
As they left the flat and walked down the street, Roan put his arm around her and smiled. Jenny shivered with a mixture of relief and delight. She was really very lucky that Roan had been so understanding about it. After all, if she had been in his position, she would have been appalled.
She remembered what the fortune-teller had told her about the ‘the upheavals’ she and Roan would experience throughout their relationship. But didn’t she say too that they would work their way through all of those problems? Jenny hoped that there wouldn’t be further problems though.
Not to worry, she thought, as they reached the pub. The main thing was that they had been able to work through this one. And she’d make it up to him. She’d make sure they had a great night out tonight and then at the weekend, she’d take him out to dinner and wouldn’t let him put a hand in his pocket. She owed it to Roan after everything she had put him through.
Chapter 12
“How could she be so stupid, Tessa?” Karen groaned. “She seemed so determined to finish with him. I can’t believe she fell for it.”
She stared out of the window of the coffee shop at a crowded O’Connell St. It was the following Saturday afternoon, and the city centre was packed with shoppers and tourists. She had felt a little disloyal telling Tessa about Jenny’s situation, but was so annoyed with her friend that she had to tell someone. A nurse by profession, maybe Tessa might be able to shed some light as to how Roan could get away with such lies.
When Jenny had returned from her supposed confrontation with him, Karen had known by her face that she hadn’t dumped him as she had intended.