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Not George Washington — an Autobiographical Novel

Page 21

by P. G. Wodehouse


  CHAPTER 18

  ONE IN THE EYE_(Sidney Price's narrative continued)_

  "Serpose I oughtn't ter 'ave let on, that's it, ain't it?" from TomBlake.

  "Seemed to me that if one of the three gave the show away to the othertwo, the compact made by each of the other two came to an endautomatically," from myself.

  "The reason I have broken my promise of secrecy is this: that I'mdetermined we three shall make a united demand for a higher rate ofpayment. You, of course, have your own uses for the money, I need minefor those humanitarian objects for which my whole life is lived," fromthe Reverend.

  "Wot 'o," said Blake. "More coin. Wot 'o. Might 'ave thought o' thatbefore."

  "I'm with you, sir," said I. "We're entitled to a higher rate, I'llmake a memo to that effect."

  "No, no," said the Reverend. "We can do better than that. We threeshould have a personal interview with Cloyster and tell him ourdecision."

  "When?" I asked.

  "Now. At once. We are here together, and I see no reason to prevent ourarranging the matter within the hour."

  "But he'll be asleep," I objected.

  "He won't be asleep much longer."

  "Yus, roust 'im outer bed. That's wot I say. Wot 'o for more coin."

  It was now half-past two in the morning. I'd missed the 12:15 back toBrixton slap bang pop hours ago, so I thought I might just as well makea night of it. We jumped into our overcoats and hats, and hurried toFleet Street. We walked towards the Strand until we found afour-wheeler. We then drove to No. 23, Walpole Street.

  The clocks struck three as the Reverend paid the cab.

  "Hullo!" said he. "Why, there's a light in Cloyster's sitting-room. Hecan't have gone to bed yet. His late hours save us a great deal oftrouble." And he went up the two or three steps which led to the frontdoor.

  A glance at Tom Blake showed me that the barge-driver was alarmed. Helooked solemn and did not speak. I felt funny, too. Like when I firsthanded round the collection-plate in our parish church. Sort of emptyfeeling.

  But the Reverend was all there, spry and business-like.

  He leaned over the area railing and gave three short, sharp taps on theground floor window with his walking-stick.

  Behind the lighted blind appeared the shadow of a man's figure.

  "It's he!" "It's him!" came respectively and simultaneously from theReverend and myself.

  After a bit of waiting the latch clicked and the door opened. The doorwas opened by Mr. Cloyster himself. He was in evening dress andhysterics. I thought I had heard a rummy sound from the other side ofthe door. Couldn't account for it at the time. Must have been himlaughing.

  At the sight of us he tried to pull himself together. He half succeededafter a bit, and asked us to come in.

  To say his room was plainly furnished doesn't express it. The apartmentwas like a prison cell. I've never been in gaol, of course. But I read"Convict 99" when it ran in a serial. The fire was out, the chairs werehard, and the whole thing was uncomfortable. Never struck such a shoddyplace in my natural, ever since I called on a man I know slightly whowas in "The Hand of Blood" travelling company No. 3 B.

  "Delighted to see you, I'm sure," said Mr. Cloyster. "In fact, I wasjust going to sit down and write to you."

  "Really," said the Reverend. "Well, we've come of our own accord, andwe've come to talk business." Then turning to Blake and me he added,"May I state our case?"

  "Most certainly, sir," I answered. And Blake gave a nod.

  "Briefly, then," said the Reverend, "our mission is this: that we threewant our contracts revised."

  "What contracts?" said Mr. Cloyster.

  "Our contracts connected with your manuscripts."

  "Since when have the several matters of business which I arrangedprivately with each of you become public?"

  "Tonight. It was quite unavoidable. We met by chance. We are not toblame. Tom Blake was----"

  "Yes, he looks as if he had been."

  "Our amended offer is half profits."

  "More coin," murmured Blake huskily. "Wot 'o!"

  "I regret that you've had your journey for nothing."

  "You refuse?"

  "Absolutely."

  "My dear Cloyster, I had expected you to take this attitude; but surelyit's childish of you. You are bound to accede. Why not do so at once?"

  "Bound to accede? I don't follow you."

  "Yes, bound. The present system which you are working is one you cannotafford to destroy. That is clear, because, had it not been so, youwould never have initiated it. I do not know for what reason you wereforced to employ this system, but I do know that powerful circumstancesmust have compelled you to do so. You are entirely in our hands."

  "I said just now I was delighted to see you, and that I had intended toask you to come to me. One by one, of course; for I had no idea thatthe promise of secrecy which you gave me had been broken."

  The Reverend shrugged his shoulders.

  "Do you know why I wanted to see you?"

  "No."

  "To tell you that I had decided to abandon my system. To notify youthat you would, in future, receive no more of my work."

  There was a dead silence.

  "I think I'll go home to bed," said the Reverend.

  Blake and myself followed him out.

  Mr. Cloyster thanked us all warmly for the excellent way in which wehad helped him. He said that he was now engaged to be married, and hadto save every penny. "Otherwise, I should have tried to meet you inthis affair of the half-profits." He added that we had omitted tocongratulate him on his engagement.

  His words came faintly to our ears as we tramped down Walpole Street;nor did we, as far as I can remember, give back any direct reply.

  Tell you what it was just like. Reminded me of it even at the time:that picture of Napoleon coming back from Moscow. The Reverend wasNapoleon, and we were the generals; and if there were three humpier menwalking the streets of London at that moment I should have liked tohave seen them.

 

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