by PA Vachon
“I know it isn’t what you want to hear,” I began.
“I know that this is a mission. I just wish I was more important to you,” Regan interrupted with a long suffering sigh.
“You deserve so much better than me,” I said. “You both do.”
Regan turned her head and looked out the window into the softly fading light, deep in thought. I wondered where her head was at and if she could wait for me. I wondered if I should even make her wait. She was my fated mate. I should want to be with her and only her. I shouldn’t want to finish this mission from headquarters. The Secret Keepers had taken up enough of our lives, but I also knew if I didn’t stop Janet, she would murder the whole grizzly clan, including Regan and our daughter, who I hadn’t even met yet.
I softly kissed her forehead and tightened my arms around her before saying,
“Baby, I have to go.”
Regan stared at me for several minutes. She stared for so long I began to worry.
“I know you do,” she said, “but can you wait a few more minutes? I really need to …”
“What did you want to tell me?” I interrupted as I hugged her to me tighter.
“I have so many things to tell you,” she answered. “I need you to understand what was going through my head at the time.”
I listened as she explained how scared she was to disappoint her father, her clan, even herself. I felt ashamed when she talked about not telling me of the baby because of my connection to Hatchet’s clan. I was proud when she talked of her status as a Secret Keeper and scared when she told me of her missions.
But most of all, I was lucky and I knew it. I was certain Fate had picked the right one for me when Regan spoke of her great love of her baby, our cub. She was an amazing mother, and no child would ever want for anything with Regan in her corner.
“Baby, I get why you didn’t say anything,” I said. “I wish things were different, but the Fates work in weird ways and we just seem to be along for the ride.”
“I know you’re right,” Regan said. “We’ve missed so many things because of my stubborness.”
We gazed into each other eyes for what seemed like hours, but it was just mere moments in time. I finally broke eye contact with her to lean in and softly kiss her forehead. I tightened my arms around her before saying,
“Baby, I have to go.”
“I know you do, Johnny,” she answered back.
I slowly extracted myself from the too small bed, leaned in, and kissed her cheek before turning and headed to the door. Once I reached the closed door, I turned and said,
“This won’t be forever, babe. I promise.”
I watched Regan for a few moments and then walked out into the hallway. Once the door closed behind me, I let out a deep sigh of regret. I knew she wouldn’t wait forever, but I just needed her to wait long enough for me to stop the madness that was coming for her family and mine.
As I left the hospital, I knew of only one way of stopping Janet and I didn’t think I would be strong enough to do it. I knew if I caught her in the act of revealing the truth of shifters, it would be a righteous ending, but if I killed her before she did something that was against our laws, I would be putting myself in the crosshairs of other Secret Keepers. I couldn’t do that to Regan and Rory. I just couldn’t see a way around the crazy ride that I was on at the moment. I got into my car and headed for the house, hoping that Janet would come to her senses but knowing she probably wouldn’t.
I turned into the driveway and slowed my car to a crawl; the potholes were almost as deep as the ditches that ran along the sides of the rural road our house sat on. I had told Hatchet before that we needed to do some upkeep on this place, but it had only gotten worse in the last eighteen months. I pulled to a stop next to one of the trucks and headed for the front porch.
Once I reached the porch, I walked up to the door and opened it, looking around for Janet and wondering where she was. As my gaze rested on the couch in the living room, I could see James watching some bullshit reality show about keeping up with 19 kids and counting. I was not a fan of people putting their lives all out there for the world to see. James watched the shit like it was the gospel. He looked up when I walked by the couch and said,
“Dude, Janet is looking for you.”
“Great. Where is she?” I asked.
“She’s in the back, enjoying herself after escaping from those grizzlies earlier,” he replied. “You missed a hell of a fireworks show man.”
“So I heard,” I muttered as I walked towards the back of the house. Down the hallway and off to the left, Janet had left her door ajar, so I tapped on it before pushing it open the rest of the way. That was a mistake.
She was standing there with one of the guys, Jeff, between her legs, and was he ever going to town. It looked messy and a little painful for them both. I turned to walk out when Janet told me to stop. I stopped in the doorway, but I didn’t turn back to look at her. This was not something I wanted to see. While she was beautiful on the outside, the poison that she had on the inside made her ugly.
“Where have you been, David?” Janet asked while pushing Jeff away from her. Looking over my shoulder, I saw her grab her robe and wrap herself in it. “You could always join us, David. I know you like what you see when you look at me.”
It’s difficult to hold my tongue and tell her exactly what I think of her and her men. Instead I say,
“I don’t share, Janet. I never have and I never will.”
She stuck her lower lip out in a pout and said, “That’s always your answer.”
“Sorry, James said you were looking for me,” I stated. “What’s up?”
“Where were you when we hit the grizzly compound earlier today?” she asked, with a suspicious gleam in her eyes.
“Running errands in town, like you told me to,” I answered.
“Oh, yes, that’s right,” she said. “I just assumed you’d be done with those few things much quicker, David.”
“Sorry, won’t happen again,” I said as I tried to diffuse the anger I could see rising in her eyes, “What are we doing next? I’m ready when you are.”
“Next we hit them at night,” she smiled wickedly, “while they all sleep securely in their beds.”
“Good plan, Janet,” I lied. “When do we do it?”
“Soon, David, very soon,” was her answer.
I walked away from Janet and the guy who was still on his knees, waiting for the words from her to start feasting again. While I wasn’t a prude, I also wasn’t into voyeurism.
I went to my room and sat on the edge of my bed. I started to think, really think about what this mission was doing to me, to Regan, and to our baby. I had missed so much of her growing up, would she take to me when I was finally able to stop Janet and the others or would she see me as a stranger? I didn’t need to ask that question out loud. My loyalty to the Secret Keepers had already cost me two years with my girls. I couldn’t let it cost me anymore time. Once this mission was done, I was out for good.
“The heart wants what the heart wants…”
Chapter Seven
Regan
I laid on my hospital bed thinking of Johnny, hoping he’d make the right choice. I was still so angry, with him, with myself, with the way things had turned out. We should have been together for the last two years, not trying to get over each other. I hadn’t had time to dwell on the heartache, except in the quiet hours of the night when Rory was asleep or out with Lauren, Ian, and their boys. I sometimes would lay awake and wonder if I could find David... Errr... Johnny. To tell him about our little cub, to claim my mate, and to have our happily ever after, but I also knew that I couldn’t force him to make that choice. He’d have to do it on his own. I fell asleep thinking of his entrancing green eyes and the way he could make me feel with just a look: loved, cherished, and adored. I wanted him in my life, but even with him being undercover, I couldn’t let him in. Not until Janet and the rest were gone, either in prison or dead.
Hours later, I heard the door open to my room. Opening my eyes, I could see William, one of the members of our clan who’d been asking me out for several months. Even though we weren’t mates, he still was trying to get my attention. I think it had more to do with who my dad is than with any burning desire to be with me personally.
“Hello, William,” I said as he walked up to the chair next to my bed. Sitting down he looked at me a little closer, saying
“Regan, shit, you look awful. Are you okay?”
“Thank you, William, for noticing,” I answered. “I’m going to be fine. Thanks for asking.”
“I didn’t mean anything by it, Regan,” he sputtered. “It just looks like it hurts is all.”
“It does a little, William, and I know that isn’t how you meant it,” I said. “What are you doing here?”
Before he could answer, the door to my room opened again to reveal Johnny, looking just as handsome and dangerous as he had the day before. I was so screwed. I looked up into his eyes and could see every emotion -- love, jealousy, and even a small amount of contempt. Probably because William was so close to me on the hospital bed where I lay.
“What the hell is going on here?” Johnny asked angrily.
“Nothing is going on,” I answered. “This is William, one of my clan mates. William this is David, an old friend.”
William moved closer to the bed, reaching for my hand. I pulled away slightly, not really sure what the hell was happening. I looked at William and then at Johnny, wondering why there was a pissing contest going on in my hospital room. William was watching Johnny with suspicion, while Johnny was watching William with anger. If it wasn’t happening to me, it would be really comical. I really needed them both to quit the macho bullshit. I was starting to get another headache.
“William, nice to meet you,” Johnny said as he moved forward to shake hands with William. William reached out to do the same, wincing a bit when Johnny started to squeeze his hand in his large grip.
“David, you look familiar. Have you lived in Fall City long?” William asked while eyeballing Johnny.
“I just recently returned to town,” Johnny said smugly.
“Ok, you two, I’ve had enough of the bullcrap. William, I am going home tomorrow, and we’ll talk then,” I said. “David, we can talk once William leaves.”
William stood, leaned over the side of my bed, and placed a chaste kiss on my cheek. I could hear Johnny’s rumbling bear the whole time. I told William good-bye and watched as he left. I would worry about talking with him later. This was too important a talk at the moment.
“Johnny, what are you doing back here?” I asked him. “I thought we talked already. You aren’t ready to leave that fucked up clan, and I can’t leave my clan either.”
“I know what I have to do now babe,” he answered. “I have to stop Janet once and for all.”
“And how are you going to do that, Johnny?” I asked. “She hasn’t committed a single death sentence crime; we’ve checked.”
Johnny looked at me and raised one eyebrow. Cocking his hip, he leaned into the side of the bed I was on and then stopped a hair’s breadth away from me, looking deep into my eyes, he said,
“Baby, I can’t be with you while she is still alive. I have to get rid of her for good.”
I trembled a little in reaction to his deadly serious tone. I knew he wasn’t joking. This was a side to him I had never seen -- deadly, focused, and like he meant business. I didn’t know what to make of his words.
“Johnny, you can’t kill her if she hasn’t broken any of our laws,” I tried again. “She skates along the edges. This is the most serious thing she has done ever. Blowing up our main meeting area, I mean.”
“I know, but there has to be something I can do,” he said, the frustration evident in his voice.
“There probably is, but we need to talk more than you need to solve the problem of Janet,” I said to him gently.
He sighed, looking at me with defeat. Knowing I was right didn’t make me as happy as I thought it would; it made me a little sad. Johnny watched me for several minutes, sighing as he said,
“I love you, but my job is important too.”
“I’ve lost someone who should have been the most important person in my world…”
Chapter Eight
Johnny
I watched Regan for several more minutes. I knew that I was wrong. I knew that I needed to put my family first. But sometimes it’s hard to stop when you have had a single goal for such a long time. I needed to get my head out of my ass and man the fuck up. Soon, or I would lose Regan and my daughter all over again.
“Baby, I’m sorry I haven’t put you first,” I said. “It’s hard to change mindsets in the middle of a task. But I can put you first.”
“I know you can,” she replied, “but you won’t if you don’t change your priorities.”
“I know, babe. I’m working on it,” I said. “I need to know what you want me to do.”
“I want you to want to do the right thing for me and Rory, Johnny,” she said. “That’s what I want you to do.”
“I need to know why you didn’t tell me you were pregnant, Regan,” I finally said, bringing to light the elephant in the room.
“I couldn’t make you stay just because we were having a baby,” she replied with tears choking her voice. “I needed you want to stay for me, not because it was an obligation.”
“I wouldn’t have thought you were an obligation. I have loved you for as long as I’ve known you were my mate,” I said. “But I also had a mission to stop Hatchet and his clan.”
“I knew that you were dedicated and that’s why I didn’t tell you,” she said as the tears finally broke through. The rivulets that were tracking down her cheeks broke me. I couldn’t keep this up… I needed to make a choice. I just hoped it was the right choice. I caressed her cheek, wiping the tears away.
“I think I know what I have to do, babe,” I told her quietly. “I’ll be back soon.”
I leaned in and kissed her cheek, running my hand through her beautiful red hair.
“You better be,” she replied.
“Love you, babe,” I said as I turned and walked to the door.
“Johnny,” she called out.
I stopped and turned around, searching her eyes.
“I love you too,” she whispered.
I pivoted and opened the door.Walking through to the hallway, I saw the nurse from the day before. I gave a slight wave and headed towards the elevator. Hitting the ground floor button, I waited for the elevator to descend while thinking of the choice I was about to make, hoping that Janet wouldn’t lose her shit and knowing that hope was in vain.
I got to my car and opened the driver’s side door. Getting into the car, I started the engine and headed out of the parking garage. At the exit to the parking structure, I turned left and headed back to town and the house that we were staying at while Janet contemplated her revenge.
As I drove, I thought back to when I knew Regan was mine. I had been in the local bar of The Roadhouse, nursing a glass of Fireball over ice when she and her clan mates came in to let off some steam. I looked up as the door to bar opened inward, and the light caught her fire red hair, making me catch my breath. I watched as she walked to the bar and ordered herself a drink. Her two friends that she was with were a couple of guys I knew who were like family to the Grizzly Clan princess. I knew who she was. I had never seen her before of course, but Hatchet had complained enough about the ‘spoiled’ princess of Marcus’ that I would know her anywhere. I knew instantly like a punch to the gut that she was the one that the Fates had picked just for me. Of course, I couldn’t act on it in that moment. I was surrounded by Hatchet’s goons. Fuck, I was one of them. Sort of. But not really. I had been undercover with them for six months now, trying to get more information on their illegal activities. For some reason, Hatchet had a grudge on Marcus like no one’s business. I knew I would have to find a way to g
et her attention. I just didn’t have a clue as to how to do so without drawing the wrong scrutiny from the others.
I watched as she turned her head and laughed at something that Trevor said, a full bodied sexy sound that I wanted to cause on a daily basis. I was fucked.
“Betrayal is the only truth that sticks.”
- Arthur Miller
Chapter Nine
Lisa/Jeff
Jeff watched as a car came barreling up the drive. He didn’t know who it was, nor did he really care. He had just watched Janet, the woman he loved, die at the hands of that asshat Trevor and his equally disgusting mate Rebecca, a human waste of space. As the car got closer, he could see a woman with a brassy head of hair and a smirk on her face. He still wasn’t sure who she was or what she wanted but he was ready for a fight.
The car stopped just at the steps to the porch where Jeff was leaning on the railing watching the day go by. Out stepped the trashiest woman he had ever seen. Not only did she have brassy hair, but her makeup was hooker thick on her lined faced. This one had seen better days.
“What do you want, bitch?” Jeff asked with contempt in his words.
“I heard most of your friends are dead,” the woman replied. “Do you want revenge for the killings?”
“Who the fuck are you?” Jeff demanded.
“I’m Lisa, Rebecca’s mother,” she replied with anger. “I overheard a conversation that you need to know about and I’m here to help you.”