Mother For His Children, A

by Drexler, Jan

  “You could write to her family. She’s staying with them, isn’t she?”

  Levi glanced at John. If he wanted the older man’s advice, he’d have to tell him everything.

  “I don’t know where she’s staying. A man came from Lancaster County to visit one day, and then a few days later he showed up again. I wasn’t at home, and when I got back I found she had left with him. She packed everything in her bag and left.”

  John sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. Levi couldn’t look at John’s face, afraid of the condemnation he’d see there—condemnation for the woman he had married.

  “Did she say anything? Leave a note for you?”

  “She told Waneta she’d be back in a week at the most.”

  “Do you have reason to think she’s not coming back?”

  Levi thought of the possessive look on Elam’s face the day he stopped by their home. The man knew Ruthy, probably better than Levi did, and he was the one who had taken her away. Had they run off together? Abandoned this man’s wife and family as thoughtlessly as Ruthy had abandoned them?

  “I don’t know, John. I wanted to ask what you think—should I go to Pennsylvania? Should I go look for her?”

  John looked at him, compassion in his eyes. “If it was my Elizabeth, I would. I know she wouldn’t stay away without word unless there was a good reason. I would go to find out what’s going on.”

  Levi nodded, looking at the floor. “I don’t know how long it will take, and it’s almost time for the spring plowing....”

  “Don’t worry about that. I’ll give your boys a hand if you’re not back in time.”

  Relief washed through Levi. He had a plan, action he could take. He shook John’s hand. “Denki. I’ll leave on tomorrow’s train, and I’ll keep in touch.”

  * * *

  Ruthy lifted Grace from her cradle, a bottle of warm milk ready for the hungry baby. She sat in the rocking chair and snuggled the little mite close. Even so simple a thing as feeding a baby was comforting. She rocked the chair gently.

  “Is she still eating well?” Mam asked from her own chair where her hands were busy with her knitting.

  “Ja, she guzzles it down like a bum lamb.” Ruthy smiled as Grace sucked on the bottle, her dark eyes locked on Ruthy’s face.

  “Two weeks old tomorrow.” Mam paused in her knitting to count stitches.

  Two weeks since Laurette had died, leaving Grace alone.

  Ruthy had arrived the next day with Elam. He had taken one look at the baby, too small, born too early, and handed her to Ruthy.

  “You take her,” he had said. “I don’t know what to do with a baby.”

  Mam had been with Laurette when she died. On the bedside table, Ruthy had found the letter she wrote the night Jack Davenport had been to their house. She hadn’t been too late. Laurette knew she had forgiven her before she passed on.

  So Mam and Ruthy had brought the baby home, and they had nursed the frail little girl together. Now she was thriving, if still a bit too small.

  Ruthy held the baby close, breathing in her fragrance, and searched her face for something of Laurette in her. The shape of her nose, perhaps. And she definitely had Laurette’s chin, determined and a bit pointy. Her eyes were still a mystery, but as much as Ruthy searched, she found very little to remind her of Elam. It was as if he was as distant from this baby in looks as he had been since she was born.

  Grace finished the bottle and Ruthy lifted her to her shoulder to burp her. With every little thing she did to care for this baby, the icy wall in her heart broke down. With every diaper change, every bottle, Ruthy had Laurette in her thoughts. If she had only answered Laurette’s letter earlier—if only she could have shared Laurette’s hopes and dreams for the baby—but no one had guessed that Laurette wouldn’t live to see her daughter.

  “Have you heard from Levi?” Mam asked.

  “Ne.” Levi and the children seemed so distant now that she was home again. She longed to go back, but what would she do with Grace?

  “Should you write to him, tell him what has happened?”

  “Ja, I should. But I don’t know what to say. Elam hasn’t been by to see Grace at all. I know he wanted me to care for her, but for how long? Once he gets over his grief, surely he’ll want her back.”

  “Will he be able to raise her on his own?”

  “I don’t know.” Her Elam, the boy she had planned to marry, had been adventurous and carefree. At the funeral he had looked like he was lost in a swirling maze with no end.

  “I’m going to lie down for a bit.” Mam folded her knitting and put it in her basket.

  “Once Grace is asleep, I may lie down myself.”

  Mam made her way to the bedroom and Ruthy patted the baby’s back as she rocked her, listening to her soft sucking sounds as she found her fist. She closed her eyes, letting the chair’s motion and the soft baby sounds relax her. Once Grace burped, then they could both take a nap.

  At the sound of a knock on the door, Ruthy rose with the baby still on her shoulder.

  Passing from the front room to the kitchen, she stopped short when she saw Elam standing on the other side of the screen door. He stood on the step, his clothes rumpled and his hands dirty. He rubbed them on his trousers as he saw the direction of Ruthy’s gaze.

  “Hello, Elam. Where have you been? I’ve been worried about you.”

  “Ruthy, I need to talk to you.”

  “Ja, come in. We have some pie left from dinner.”

  Elam looked past her into the kitchen, and then glanced to the barn.

  “Ne, I want...”

  Grace stirred on Ruthy’s shoulder, catching his attention.

  “I thought you could come to my house...to see what I got ready for the baby.” He shifted his feet and glanced at the barn again. “You can make sure I did things right.”

  Ruthy hesitated. When she and Elam had been courting they had taken many walks down the farm lane between the fields and through the woods to Elam’s farm, but now they weren’t courting. She was Levi’s wife. “I’ll come outside to talk with you, but I can’t go far. The baby will need changing soon.”

  “Bring it along.” His feet shifted again, and this time he peered past her, into the house. “I have diapers. I mean, Laurette got things ready, right?”

  “I need to tell Mam....”

  Elam shook his head. “You don’t need to. We won’t be gone that long.”

  She hesitated again. Elam didn’t seem to be in any condition to be taking care of a baby, but maybe she was just being too protective. With Mam napping, she didn’t want to disturb her. She could go with Elam and be back before Mam awoke. She’d even be back before Daed returned from her brother’s farm down the road.

  She nodded, and Elam stepped back so Ruthy could come out. He took her free hand and led her to the path that led behind the barn and across the fields toward his house. Once they got past the chicken coop to the pasture fence, out of sight of the house, he slowed his pace.

  “I’m glad you’re here, Ruthy. I need you so much.”

  “I’m happy to be able to help. The baby is so sweet. I’m calling her Grace—I know that’s the name Laurette would have chosen for her.”

  Elam waved his hand, pushing away her words. “I don’t care what you named the baby.” He turned as he walked, grinning at her. “You’re a good mam for her, for sure.”

  Ruthy smiled, remembering how Grace fixed her eyes on her face while she fed or talked to the baby. “How could anyone not love her? She looks more like Laurette every day, you know.”

  “I don’t want to talk about Laurette.” Elam pulled at her hand, hurrying her across the back field, leaving the worn path and heading toward the woods.

  “Where are we going?” Ruthy tried to pull her hand back, but
he held it tightly. “This isn’t the way to your house.”

  “It’s...it’s a shortcut I made. You’ll see.”

  He led her into the woods and then turned again, heading in the direction of his house.

  “Elam, I can walk better if you let go of my hand.”

  “I’m not letting go of you.” He grasped her hand tighter, making her wince. “I’m just doing what I should have done before you ever left us. Before I ever started going out with Laurette.”

  She tried to dig her heels into the soft dirt, but he pulled hard. Grace protested, and Ruthy stopped struggling to keep the baby calm.

  “What do you mean?”

  Her stomach churned when he turned to her, his eyes almost glowing in the shadowed woods.

  “I never loved Laurette, just like you don’t love your husband.” Ruthy started to protest, but he squeezed her hand tighter. “We could be happy together, couldn’t we? Just like we planned?”

  Ruthy tried to pull back. She had never seen Elam like this, his face flushed beneath the short beard. Both of his hands grasped at hers, tightening as she tried to pull away.

  “Elam, think about what you’re saying. I’m married, and whether I love my husband or not, nothing will change that. It’s too late.”

  “Ne, don’t you see? We could move away from here and start over again. No one would know where we went.” He grinned then, with the same enthusiasm he had shown when they had discussed their future together all those years they had been courting. “I’m making a name for myself in the hootenanny show in Wheeling. They think I could make it big in movies, just like Gene Autry. We could go to Hollywood and start a new life together out there.”

  Ruthy’s feet turned cold. “What do you mean? You’re singing on the radio?”

  “Yeah.” He used the Englisch slang she had always avoided. “I’m really good on the guitar....”

  “You’re talking about leaving the church.”

  “Of course.” He moved closer to her and she recoiled. “As far as the church is concerned, you’ll always be married to that old man, but that doesn’t matter to us, does it? You know we’ll be happy together.”

  “Elam, I will never do what you’re asking. I would never forsake God for anyone, even you.” Ruthy’s breath caught as a sudden thought swirled through her mind. “What about Grace? Would you take her away from our faith? Would you want your daughter to grow up outside the church?”

  Elam’s face grew harder as she spoke. “Ruthy, you don’t think any of this really matters, do you? What matters is you and me.” He pulled at her hand again, hurrying her along. “We will be happy together, I know we will.”

  “Ne, Elam. I can’t, I won’t leave Levi and our family.” She tried to resist him, but he was too strong for her. “We will never be happy if you do this thing. You can find another girl who would be glad to marry you. You can have more children, brothers and sisters for Grace.”

  “That’s not the kind of life I want, Ruthy. I’m not spending my life scratching in the dirt for a few potatoes. I’m going to make it big, and I want you to come with me.”

  He pulled at her again as they reached the top of a rise. Below them, at the edge of the woods, was a truck. When they reached it, he opened the driver’s door, pushing Ruthy inside in front of him. She got into the truck, knowing that the only way to get away from him now would be to fight him, and Grace could get hurt. Maybe, somehow, she could talk some sense into him.

  The truck started up with a roar, and Elam put it into gear. He sped up quickly, and Ruthy sat, helpless, as he drove her farther and farther from her home.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Levi hopped off the wagon that had brought him to the Mummert farm from Bird-in-Hand, waving denki to the farmer. Even the Englischers knew Ezekiel Mummert, and he had no trouble finding a ride from the train station.

  Brushing off his trousers and straightening his coat, he took in the farm in front of him. From the cozy, white frame house to the lofty dairy barn behind it, the entire place spoke of a hard-working farmer. But was Ruthy here?

  When he knocked on the side door, Naomi came rushing to answer it, but she stopped when she saw it was him.

  “Ach, Levi! Levi!” Her face crumpled into tears.

  Dropping his bag on the step, he pulled the screen door open and grabbed Naomi before she collapsed onto the floor.

  “What’s wrong? What has happened?”

  Ezekiel appeared in the doorway to the front of the house, his shoulders slumped.

  Levi helped Naomi to a chair at the kitchen table. “Is Ruthy here? Have you seen her?”

  His father-in-law shook his head, taking a seat next to his wife and cradling her in his arms as she wept. “She has disappeared. She’s gone.”

  Levi took the chair across the table from Ezekiel, looking into his face, trying to understand.

  “She was here?”

  “Ja, until this afternoon. I was visiting our son, and Naomi was asleep. When she woke, Ruthy was gone, along with the baby.”

  “What baby?”

  He listened as Ezekiel told him the story of Laurette’s death, the baby Elam had apparently abandoned, and how, until this afternoon, everything seemed to be going well.

  Levi pushed himself away from the table, pacing back and forth in the kitchen. She had been here. If he had been a day earlier... But perhaps she had gotten word of his coming and had run away from him?

  Ne, that couldn’t be. But where was she? Where would she have gone?

  “Did she pack her bag? Take her things?”

  Naomi shook her head. “Ne, nothing in her room has been touched. She didn’t even take a bottle for the baby, or a blanket.”

  “You’ve looked all over the farm?”

  “Ja,” Ezekiel said, nodding. “The barn, the outbuildings, the fields...even the well. There was no sign of her anywhere.” The older man rubbed his hand over his face. “Our sons are coming, to help with the search. She can’t have just vanished.”

  “Was she worried about anything? Expecting anyone? Did she have any plans?”

  Naomi sniffed, controlling her tears. “She was worried about you, that she had been away too long, but she didn’t want to leave until she knew what Elam was going to do.”

  Elam again. “Why did she need to wait for him?”

  “He had asked her to care for the baby, and then left. But we thought sure he was coming back to his farm and his daughter. She didn’t want to leave the wee little thing without knowing what kind of home Elam was going to give her.”

  The door burst open as three men came in, all the same height and build as Ezekiel. They could only be Ruthy’s brothers. After a quick introduction, Matthias, the oldest brother, stuck his hands in his suspenders.

  “We need to start looking off the farm. Could she have gone to a friend’s house?”

  “Ja, that could be.” Ezekiel named a few friends, and the two younger brothers ran out the door, ready to call on those families.

  Levi couldn’t get Elam out of his mind. “Could she...could she have gone to Elam’s?”

  Matthias nodded. “She could have.” He shot a look at Levi. “You’ll come with me?”

  Levi nodded and they headed out the door.

  “We’ll check quickly, and then come back here. Someone needs to stay here in case she shows up again.” Matthias waited until he got an answering nod from Ezekiel, and then set out at a jog.

  He led the way along a path that passed behind the barn. “This isn’t a good welcome for you, to find Ruthy missing.”

  “I only want to know what’s happened. To know that she’s safe.”

  “And the baby, too. She loves that little bum lamb of hers. She’d do anything to protect her.”

  Levi nodded as t
hey jogged along. He could imagine Ruthy’s fierce devotion to her friend’s baby. Matthias picked up speed as they came to a field, passing a side trail that led toward a stand of timber. Levi stopped to look up the trail. Bruised grass showed someone had passed that way recently.

  “Matthias,” he called. The other man turned around.

  “Ja,” he said, nodding as he examined the trail. “Someone has been this way today. Let’s follow this and see where it takes us.”

  Just inside the edge of the woods, Levi stopped to pick up a rag that had been caught on a bramble. Not a rag, a diaper that had been used as a burp cloth. He held it up to Matthias.

  “It looks like she’s been this way. Are there any other signs?”

  Matthias pointed out some scuff marks in the dirt, and they continued following the path to the top of a rise, and then down to the edge of a road. The trail ended there.

  Levi paced along the edge of the road and back.

  “She got into an automobile.” He rubbed the back of his neck. Where could she be? And why?

  “Not just her. She wasn’t alone.” Matthias pointed to the scuff marks. “There were two people here.”

  “Does Elam have an automobile?”

  Matthias nodded. “He has a truck. He claims it isn’t his, but too many have seen him driving it for him to be able to deny it.”

  “Do you... Do you think she went with him willingly?”

  The other man gave him a level look. “How well do you know your wife?”

  Levi shook his head, helpless. “I thought I knew her, but...”

  “I know my sister. If she left with Elam, she had a good reason. She has the baby with her, and I wouldn’t be surprised to find out she’s protecting her, at all costs.”

  Levi was sick. What kind of danger could she be in? Then a nagging suspicion flooded his thoughts—what if she weren’t in danger at all? Could she have gotten into that truck willingly?

  Dashing his hand across his face, Levi tried to wipe the thought away, but it persisted. It couldn’t be true, could it? Not his Ruthy.

  * * *