by Mari Carr
She nodded.
“Good,” he murmured. He leaned closer and for the briefest of moments, she thought he might kiss her. She didn’t move, barely breathed, afraid to break the spell as his gaze held hers captive. What would it feel like to kiss him? She desperately wanted to find out.
She moved closer, a miniscule movement that Chad mimicked. She could smell cinnamon on his breath from the gum he’d been chewing earlier.
Her mouth watered for a taste and her eyes dropped to look at his lips, surprised to find he’d moved even closer.
“Hey, dinner’s ready. I made spaghetti, and just so you know, cleanup’s gonna be a bitch.” Sean entered the room. If he was suspicious of the way she and Chad quickly broke apart, standing up at the same time, he didn’t give it away by his expression.
“Fuck, Sean. You made a mess on purpose, didn’t you?” Chad accused, and Lauren was grateful for his quick reply. She scrambled to wipe away the thought that Chad had almost kissed her.
And she’d almost let him.
“Maybe,” Sean joked. They’d instituted a rule when they first moved into the house that whoever cooked didn’t have to clean. Sean, ever the prankster, had started making messes that had grown until recently it looked as if he’d used every dish they owned to make his meals.
Lauren crossed her arms over her chest, hoping to hide the fact her nipples were sharp enough to cut glass. She cleared her throat and forced a lightness to her voice. “You know, Chad, I’m thinking this need to make big messes in the kitchen is actually some sort of repressed emotion from Sean’s childhood pushing its way to the surface.”
Chad grinned at the joke. Sean hated when they tried to analyze him. “You could be right. Maybe the three of us should sit down after dinner and discuss it. I’m sure I can find some research—”
Sean lifted his hands in surrender. “Oh hell no. None of that psychobabble bullshit. I’d rather clean up the mess myself than listen to any of that crap.”
Lauren grabbed one of Sean’s hands and shook it before making her way toward the kitchen. “Deal. Thanks.”
She left the room quickly as Sean laughed. “No way. That wasn’t an offer,” he yelled behind her.
She claimed her spot at the table, refusing to look too hard at the piles of dishes on the counter and in the sink. He really had outdone himself this time.
Chad must’ve agreed because he muttered, “Jesus Christ,” as he entered the kitchen and took his chair. Sean chuckled as he sat down and picked up the bottle of Boordy wine, pouring each of them a glass.
Lauren had to admit the food looked delicious and the table setting was gorgeous. Sean had even lit a candle. “Are we celebrating something?” she asked.
Sean nodded and lifted his glass, waiting until they followed suit. “Here’s to one month of happy, relatively peaceful cohabitation.”
They clinked glasses and laughed. Dinner passed quickly as they polished off the first bottle of wine and a good part of a second, the conversation light and lively. The three of them cleaned the kitchen together—Chad washing the dishes, Lauren drying and Sean putting them away.
After dinner, they watched a movie in the living room. Chad relaxed in the recliner while she and Sean cuddled on the couch. Lauren tried to remember when she’d spent a more peaceful evening and realized there’d been a hundred nights just as perfect—all of them spent like this, with Sean and Chad.
“Guess I should head to bed. I have an early class tomorrow,” she said, standing and stretching.
Sean yawned. “Yeah, I won’t be too far behind you. I’m helping K at the construction site early tomorrow then I’m covering the lunch shift for Ewan while he takes Natalie to the baby doctor. And tomorrow night is my night to man the bar at the pub. I’m tired just thinking about it.”
Lauren knew Sean’s grumbling was all for show. She’d never known a man more devoted to his family. There was, quite simply, nothing he wouldn’t do for his pop or his brothers and sisters. She wished she had a similarly close relationship with her brother. Though she loved him dearly, they rarely saw each other as real life constantly seemed to get in the way.
“Jeez,” Chad said, still reclining. “I don’t know how the hell you keep all those nieces and nephews straight.”
Sean laughed. “There are only five rugrats, six if you count Ewan’s soon-to-be-here baby.”
“Six,” Chad repeated, shaking his head as if trying to wrap his mind around the large number.
“I think you’re forgetting Sean is one of seven,” Lauren added. “The Collins family is used to lots of kids and noise and activity. You and I are products of the boring two-kid family concept.”
“My mom always said she’d had one boy and one girl and there wasn’t anything else to go for so she was done.” Chad put his hands behind his head.
Sean laughed. “She could’ve tried for twins.”
Chad shuddered. “Twins is no joke. I’m not sure how your brother Tristan manages with those two rowdy toddlers of his.”
Sean shrugged. “Tris was a twin. Believe me, besides Killian, there’s no one else in my family better suited to raise twin hellions than him.”
“I think you could do it,” Lauren said, imagining Sean as a father. He was good-natured, fun, easygoing and she had no doubt he’d be an amazing dad.
“I’m looking forward to getting the chance.”
Though the two of them had talked often about their future together, they’d never discussed the idea of having kids. Right now she was too focused on her career plans to see beyond getting a degree and opening a practice.
Then she realized Sean’s comment made sense. His future was settled. He had earned his four-year degree and he had a job he loved. Sean had gone to college simply to appease his sister Keira and his pop. They’d both wanted him to get a degree. However, Sean had known from the time he was a kid his dream was to work at the pub. He’d told Lauren more than once the pub was as close to heaven on earth as he’d ever found and he didn’t intend to leave it until they carried him out in a box.
Now Sean had bought this house with her, the two of them moving that much closer to forever. Once again, she felt a slight sense of unease. For the most part, their future had begun, so they should be thinking about the next step—marriage and family.
Chad groaned. “Twins? You gotta be kidding me. The idea of one kid terrifies me.”
“Really?” Sean asked. “Why?”
Lauren perched on the end of the coffee table, all thoughts of bed gone as she waited for Chad’s answer.
Chad studied Sean’s face for a long time before responding, the two of them sharing a look Lauren couldn’t begin to understand. “I can’t even sort out my own fucked-up life. How could I expect to raise a kid with any level of success?”
Lauren was confused by his answer. “Your life isn’t fucked-up.”
Chad snorted. “Sure it is.”
Lauren looked at Sean, expecting him to jump into the conversation, offer her some help in refuting Chad’s words, but he fell silent. Once again, she sensed some underlying current she wasn’t privy to. This wasn’t the first time she’d gotten a feeling Sean knew something about Chad that he wasn’t sharing. In the past, she’d let it slide. Tonight, it was rubbing against the grain.
Sean stood hastily. “Doesn’t matter anyway. Not like any of us are having kids right away. I’m heading up for the night. You coming, Lauren?”
She nodded slowly, trying to decide if it was smart to let the conversation end. She looked toward the recliner just in time to see the briefest flash of pain cross Chad’s face before it disappeared once again. He’d shut down and she knew he wouldn’t discuss his unusual comment any further.
“How about you?” she asked. “You have an early class too.”
Chad closed his eyes. “I’m gonna hang out down here for a little while. I’ll see you guys in the morning.”
She silently followed Sean upstairs. Maybe tonight hadn’t been as perfe
ct as she’d thought.
Chapter Two
Chad finished nailing the last piece of drywall, then stepped back to survey his work. He ran the back of his forearm along his sweaty forehead, trying to capture his perspiration before it rolled into his eyes. He could hear Sean cutting another two-by-four behind him. It was Sunday—the only day they had to work on his basement apartment. Between Chad’s classes and grading papers for the course he was teaching to help pay for tuition, and Sean working two jobs, they’d be lucky to finish this damn apartment by the year 2050. They’d been hard at work since dawn and it was just about time to break for lunch.
He glanced around the space that would eventually be his temporary home—and felt the same dull ache in his gut that hit whenever he remembered the fact Sean and Lauren would be building a future in this house without him.
He pictured Lauren’s face as she’d looked earlier this week in the office. She’d seemed so sad, he’d felt compelled to kiss her. If Sean hadn’t walked in when he did, he would have.
He’d nearly kissed his best friend’s girl. The guilt he’d suffered since that near miss returned full-force. Worst part was, the guilt wasn’t based on the fact he’d tried to kiss her so much as on the fact he really, really wanted to try again. He licked his lips and imagined placing his mouth on Lauren’s.
He was going straight to hell. He felt like the loser in that old Rick Springfield song, constantly wishing for Jessie’s girl—or in his case, Sean’s.
Of course, he couldn’t blame Lauren for choosing Sean over him. Sean was a natural with women. He’d inherited his good looks and large build from his father, sharing the same dark hair and eyes the other Collins brothers possessed. He had a personality people flocked to—quick-witted, easygoing, the perfect combination of cynical and nice.
What did Chad have to offer Lauren in return? He was too serious, too boring. He barely topped six feet, and while Sean was a natural at the social scene, Chad preferred being alone or, at the most, alone with just Sean and Lauren. He hated crowds, hated making small talk and, as he glanced at Sean’s smug morning-after face, he realized he hated listening to Sean make love to his dream girl.
“Shit,” Sean muttered, working out a kink in his neck as he stood. “Didn’t realize this project was gonna take so fucking long.”
“Can’t make much progress when the two of us only have time to work on it on Sundays.”
Sean put his hands on his hips and looked at what they’d accomplished that morning. He’d taken his shirt off an hour earlier and Chad couldn’t help but admire his friend’s physique. Sean was a man’s man, like the rest of his crazy brothers. They worked with their hands as well as their minds and it showed. Since taking on the part-time construction job with his older brother Killian, Sean’s form had hardened, become more defined, his skin turning a golden tan.
He stared at his best friend’s muscular body and felt his cock stir slightly.
Fuck! As if it wasn’t bad enough he was lusting over Sean’s girlfriend, now he was getting a hard-on looking at Sean. Chad forced the thought away, something he’d gotten very adept at over the years. There was no way in hell he was going down that road.
He quickly averted his gaze, looking down at his own body. Chad felt like a middle-aged accountant whenever he stood next to Sean. He spent too much time indoors. While he was trim, no one would call him built. He certainly wasn’t sporting a six-pack. Shit. He’d be lucky to find just one in his pack and his skin was too pale from lack of sun.
“Jeez. We’ve still got a shitload of work to do down here,” Sean muttered, running a hand through his hair, leaving a few pieces of sawdust clinging in its wake.
Chad nodded. “Yeah. We do. Is that a problem? I could always rent a room somewhere if you want me out of your way upstairs.” Chad tried not to look too hopeful, but Sean giving him the boot sure would make his life a lot easier. He hadn’t been sleeping well lately, his hot fantasies keeping him up well after lights out.
“Are you kidding me? Hell no, man. Things are working out great.”
Chad nodded slowly. Great wasn’t a word he’d use to describe the current hell he was residing in, but he wasn’t about to burst Sean’s bubble. His best friend had a habit of focusing on the positive and ignoring the negative. In the past, Chad had viewed that personality trait as either admirable or annoying as fuck, depending on the day. Today, it was irritating him worse than a rock in his shoe. His hand was calloused and his dick was chafed from whacking off so much lately. He needed to find a girlfriend…soon.
Unfortunately, every woman he dated ended up being compared to Lauren. Every one of them came up lacking and he usually went home alone.
“You guys ready for some lunch?”
Chad glanced up and found Lauren coming down the stairs with a plate full of sandwiches and a bag of chips under her arm. She was wearing her Sunday outfit, a comfy pair of lounge pants and a loose tee. Her auburn hair was pulled up in a ponytail again. His fingers itched to pull her hair down. He wanted to run his fingers through it and catch a whiff of the scent of her coconut shampoo. That scent alone never failed to drive his arousal up an extra notch, the smell his favorite part of carpooling with her to early morning classes. Of course, he then spent the rides trying to shield an erection.
Jesus. He needed psychological help and the words “Physician, heal thyself” floated through his mind.
“Hot damn, baby. You showed up just in the nick of time,” Sean said, grabbing the plate and setting it down on a board lying atop two sawhorses. “I’m starving.”
Lauren laughed and pointed at the plate. “Two peanut butter and banana ones for you,” she said to Sean. “I keep waiting for the day you’ll outgrow that, you know.”
Sean shook his head. “Never gonna happen. They’re my Sunday specials.”
Chad grinned at the remark. Sean’s mother, Sunday, had packed the sandwiches in Sean’s lunch every single day when they were in elementary school. Chad recalled the lump he’d gotten in his throat the first day Sean returned to school after Sunday’s death from cancer. They’d been in fourth grade. For the first time in his life, Sean stood in line to buy the cafeteria lunch. The next day, Sean’s sister Keira had picked up the routine and Sean was back to peanut butter and banana sandwiches, but Chad remembered realizing at that moment exactly how much his best friend had lost.
“And there’s tuna on rye for you, Chad.”
Chad grinned, pleased that she knew his favorite sandwich as well.
“I’ll go back up and grab the sodas,” Lauren said. “Couldn’t get it all down here in one trip.”
“No worries,” Sean said, passing her before she made it to the bottom step. “I need to wash my hands and grab a couple more tools from the garage. I’ll bring them down with me.”
“Cool,” Lauren said and they watched as Sean took the stairs two at a time, reaching the top in record speed.
“Never seen anyone who always lives life in fast forward. Guy runs everywhere.” Chad’s observation was meant to be a joke but Lauren nodded, picking up the subject as a serious one.
“I know. I’ve always wondered about that. Sometimes I think he’s just impatient, but it doesn’t fit. Of course, neither does the alternative.”
“The alternative?” Chad asked.
“Maybe he’s trying to outrun something.”
Chad considered her comment, unsure how to respond. Until she’d mentioned it, he’d never really thought much about Sean’s need for perpetual motion. Now he thought maybe she was right. He tried to pinpoint when Sean had become a whirlwind of activity. Chad knew for a fact he hadn’t always been that way. In high school, Sean was laid-back, a slow-and-steady kind of guy.
No, the change had definitely occurred in college. He’d begun to take on more chores, attended five classes per semester at the university while working part-time at the bar. It wasn’t unusual for Sean to be out of their apartment six or seven days a week, only stopping in for show
ers and sleep.
After graduation, Chad had expected Sean to settle down, but then he took on the part-time job at the construction company and his days were still filled with constant movement.
A niggling worry crept in about what—or who—Sean was trying to outrun. Chad pushed the idea aside. He wasn’t going there…not even in his own thoughts. “I think you’re overanalyzing, doctor.” His lighthearted tease had the desired effect and Lauren dropped the subject.
“You guys are making some awesome progress down here. It’s really starting to look like an apartment,” Lauren said, walking around and surveying their work.
Chad scoffed. “That’s funny. Sean and I were just bitching about how much we still have left to do.”
“Oh no. I don’t think it will take you much longer. Have you decided what color you’re painting the walls? What pictures to hang? Where the furniture goes?”
Chad laughed. “I think I’ll leave that to you. I don’t mind building the wall, but God help me if I know what to put on it once it’s there.”
Lauren snickered. “Well then, I know just the thing. We’ll start with a pale rose color in here.” She gestured around her as she spoke. “This is the bedroom, right?”
He nodded and restrained a grin at her teasing. “Rose? Really? I was thinking purple or maybe a rainbow design.”
“Oh wow. That would rock. Then we can get a floral bedspread and a lot of throw pillows.”
He put his hands on his hips and pretended to take her seriously. “Throw pillows are a definite. Maybe scatter a bunch of scented candles around.”
“Yes,” she said, laughing. “I have some lilac-scented ones that are to die for.”
He shook his head. “Not lilac. Coconut.”
She looked at him strangely but shrugged and said, “Okay, coconut.
“We’ll put a giant mirror over your bed here,” she continued. Lauren took a step closer to him, pointing to the wall he’d just finished building between what would eventually be his bedroom and the living area. She tripped on the hammer he’d carelessly left on the floor. Reaching out, he caught her before she could do a faceplant on rough wooden floorboards.