by Mari Carr
Helping her catch her balance with his hands on her middle, he tried to ignore how close she was, the narrowness of her waist.
“Shit. Thanks,” she said, looking at him, her face inches from his. “Damn clumsiness.”
He shook his head, not able to make himself release his hold on her. “I shouldn’t have left the hammer there. You could’ve hurt yourself.”
“That’s okay.” Her words suddenly sounded breathless and Chad imagined her speaking with the same tone as he pushed his cock into her tight, wet warmth.
He closed his eyes, savoring the image, unsure exactly when he’d leaned closer. His lips glanced against hers and his eyes flew open. Lauren’s face was a perfect combination of surprise and naked desire. He grasped onto the desire aspect and deepened his kiss. He held her tighter, opening his mouth to brush his tongue against hers. He’d been dying to taste her for years and she was just as sweet as he’d imagined.
For the briefest of moments she returned his kiss and Chad realized she truly was the woman of his heart. Then she pushed away, her face flushed, her breathing labored.
She shook her head and he realized he was the biggest fool on earth.
“No.”
“I’m sorry,” he said quickly.
She placed her fingers on her lips and Chad wished he could turn back time. Rewind the last two minutes to take the look of despair out of her beautiful green eyes.
“I shouldn’t have done that.”
“Why did you?” she asked.
He grinned sadly at her question. Lauren was a born psychologist. She was probably freaking out about him kissing her, but rather than run or rail, she hit him with the twenty-dollar question.
“I don’t know.” It was a cop-out and a lie. He knew why. He studied her face and realized she knew too.
Footsteps on the stairs had them moving farther apart. Sean juggled three glasses filled with ice and soda, oblivious to the charged atmosphere in the basement. He put the drinks next to the sandwiches and pulled a small level and some pliers out of his back pocket. “Remind me to unpack all the shit still in boxes in the garage. Took me ages to find a damn pair of pliers. Oh, and we only have Diet Dr. Pepper left in the fridge. We’re gonna have to run to the store,” Sean complained.
Lauren smiled. Chad marveled at how easily she managed to find her composure. “I love Diet Dr. Pepper. I was just telling Chad how impressed I am with how much you’ve done today. The place is really starting to come together.”
“Yeah,” Sean said easily. “I think it’s gonna turn out cool. Just a bitch trying to get it done in bits and pieces. I need to take a week off from work and just go after it. When’s your fall break, Chad? I was thinking I’d ask for some time then. We could knock a shitload of this off in a week.”
Chad nodded. “My next break is the week of Thanksgiving. We’ll tackle it then.”
“Cool. I’ll talk to Tris and see what we can work out on the schedule for the pub.” Sean grabbed a sandwich and started eating. He’d just swallowed the first bite when his cell phone rang. “Speak of the devil,” he said, glancing at the phone.
As Sean answered the phone and started talking to his brother, Chad could hear his friend making plans to head over to Tristan’s house to watch the football game later.
Lauren turned to look at him. “Don’t go to Tristan’s house. We’ll talk later,” she whispered, and Chad watched her climb the stairs.
Fuck. Later. What did that mean? Knowing Lauren, it wouldn’t be good.
* * * * *
Chad sprawled out on his bed, tossing the book he’d been unsuccessfully reading onto the mattress next to him. He’d turned down Sean’s invite to watch the game, claiming he had a headache. Rubbing his brow, he realized that wasn’t too far away from the truth. He’d stressed over the kiss he’d shared with Lauren until he thought his head was about to explode. He’d started to seek her out several times throughout the afternoon, but he couldn’t figure out what the hell to say.
He’d already apologized, though he suspected she didn’t know exactly what he was sorry about. He wasn’t regretting the kiss. He’d wanted to taste her lips for far too long. But he hadn’t wanted to hurt her or Sean, and with his impulsive action, he knew he had.
He closed his eyes, his mind drifting back to the morning when Lauren and Sean had told him about the changed dynamic of their relationship.
His parents had been in town visiting and he’d planned to spend the night at Lily’s place. However, the idea of spending the night on her lumpy couch when his comfortable bed was just a few miles away seemed stupid, so he’d said his goodbyes and headed home…
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
As he walked into the apartment, he heard voices drifting down the hallway from Sean’s room. Curious, he walked toward the sounds, only realizing as he stood outside the door that Sean was having sex with someone. He grinned and rolled his eyes. Sean was obviously bringing his A game if the woman’s cries were anything to judge by. He chuckled and started to walk to his room—then he recognized Lauren’s voice.
Stunned, he stood in the empty hallway until he heard Sean and Lauren climaxing. His cock twitched. Feeling like the world’s biggest pervert, he quickly walked away, shutting himself up in his room and praying all night he’d misunderstood, misheard. He knew he hadn’t.
The next morning as he poured a cup of coffee, Sean and Lauren walked into the kitchen together.
“Hey,” Sean said rather sheepishly.
Chad nodded. “Hey.”
Lauren looked uncomfortable, though adorable in Sean’s T-shirt and sweatpants. “Thought you were out for the night,” she said.
He shrugged. “Change of plans.”
“Listen, man…” Sean started.
Chad held up his hand. He couldn’t remain in this room, couldn’t have this conversation. “I got it, Sean. Figured it out all by myself. Congratulations. You two make an awesome couple.”
Lauren frowned slightly, clearly uncertain of his sincerity. “You really think so?”
He nodded and eyed the exit. At the moment, both of his friends were blocking it. “Been a long time coming.”
While Lauren breathed an obvious sigh of relief and smiled at him, Sean didn’t appear to accept his words as easily. “You’re sure you’re okay with this?” he asked.
Chad snorted, wondering where he was finding the ability to lie so well. “Me? Why the hell wouldn’t I be? It’s great. Terrific. Listen, I gotta head back to Lily’s. One of the conditions of my coming home last night was a promise I’d be back in time for breakfast. I’m supposed to be helping her entertain my folks.”
Sean smiled and walked toward him. Chad knew his friend was coming to give him a friendly pat on the arm, but if Sean touched him, he’d fall apart. He skirted around Sean rapidly, lightly bumping into Lauren in his haste to escape the kitchen.
So much for his Academy Award-winning performance. He’d tipped his hand. Given himself away.
“Chad,” Sean started, but Chad had cleared the doorway. Freedom was within his grasp.
“Catch you two later,” he said, grabbing his car keys and opening the front door.
“Dammit, Chad…” Sean called.
Chad turned to see his best friend standing right behind him. A quick glance over Sean’s shoulder proved Lauren hadn’t followed him. She had remained in the kitchen.
“What?”
Sean looked worried. “Are you really okay with this?”
Chad scowled. “What if I wasn’t, Sean? What if I said I fucking hated this? What would you do?”
Sean didn’t reply. He didn’t have to. Chad could see the utter devastation in his best friend’s face at the thought of having to choose between their friendship and his new girlfriend.
Chad couldn’t stand the look, couldn’t let his best friend hurt. “I don’t hate it. You surprised me, that’s all. Give me a few days to get used to the idea.”
Sean studied his face and Chad fought hard to k
eep it impassive.
“I love her,” Sean whispered.
So do I.
Chad didn’t speak the words. Instead, he placed a friendly hand on Sean’s shoulder and spoke the words written on his heart. “I’m happy for you.” He was. Sean was a great guy and he deserved a loving, beautiful woman like Lauren. “But I’m telling you right now, if you ask one of your brothers to be best man at your wedding instead of me, I’m kicking your ass.”
Sean laughed and the tension passed. “That position has been yours since kindergarten, man. No worries.”
“Great.” Chad forced a smile then nodded toward the kitchen. “Sounds like you two worked up a bit of an appetite last night. You better go feed the girl.”
Sean laughed. “I will. You coming home later?”
Chad shook his head. He needed time away from here. The family get-together he’d been happy to escape last night was suddenly looking pretty good. “Naw. I don’t think Lily’s gonna let me out of another night of bonding with our parents. Besides, I’m not in the mood to listen to you and Lauren go at it like fucking rabbits.”
Sean grinned and Chad braced himself for his friend’s bragging. Hell, he’d invited it with his stupid rabbit comment, had let Sean think he’d be able to stomach listening to him talk about sleeping with Lauren. He was surprised by Sean’s words.
“Thanks,” Sean said quietly.
Chad blinked twice, saw the sincerity in his friend’s face. He nodded. “Bye, Sean.”
Sean lifted his hand. “Later.”
Chad walked out and considered their parting remarks. Chad felt as if he was saying goodbye to his best friend, as well as Lauren. Things were changing. Nothing would ever be the same again.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Chad rubbed his eyes wearily as he considered how much had changed—and how much had stayed the same—since that morning. He was still in love with his best friend’s girl and there still wasn’t anything he wouldn’t sacrifice to ensure Sean’s happiness.
“Hey.” Lauren’s voice sounded in the doorway.
He pushed to a sitting position. He wasn’t surprised she’d come to him. While he was acting like a coward, Lauren was nothing if not forthright. She would never beat around the bush if she thought there was an issue that needed to be resolved.
“Hey,” he echoed.
She didn’t move to come into his bedroom and he tried to fight off his annoyance at that fact. He didn’t blame her for keeping her distance, but it still hurt.
“I’m not mad,” she said quickly.
He frowned at her comment. He’d never thought she was. “I know. I’m glad. I meant what I said earlier, Lauren. I’m sorry I kissed you. I was out of line. I’d never try to fuck up what you and Sean have. Just sort of lost my head there for a minute.”
She took a couple steps into the room, nodding. “You weren’t the only one, but it can’t happen again. I’m in love with Sean.”
His heart broke at her admission even though he’d known that truth for years. “I know.”
“I want to tell him about the kiss.”
Chad looked at her and knew in an instant she was serious. He also knew she wouldn’t say a word to Sean if he asked her to keep it a secret.
Before he could reply, she continued, “I plan to spend the rest of my life with him. I don’t ever want lies or secrets in our relationship. Not ever. That’s no way to live a life.”
She was right. Chad knew it. “I’ll tell him.”
She shook her head but he refused to take no for an answer. “I initiated the kiss, Lauren. I’m going to be the one to tell him. If he gets pissed off and decides to take a swing, I’m gonna be the one standing there to take it.”
“Sean would never hit me or you, and you know it.”
Chad nodded, knowing her words were true. “I sort of hope he does.”
She grinned and rolled her eyes. “Is this the guy form of penance? You mess up so you take a punch?”
He shrugged, her words provoking an old memory. He closed his eyes to block out the last time he and Sean had taken punches at each other. “Yeah, something like that.”
A car pulled into the driveway and they both stared at each other.
She took a deep breath and he could see a slight tremble in her hands. Great. He’d really fucked this one up. If Sean dumped her over his fucking mistake, Chad would be the one throwing punches, making sure his best friend didn’t lose the best thing in his life. They’d make their confession and then Chad would come upstairs, pack his shit and get out of here. Maybe Lily would let him bunk at her place.
The thought brought him more relief than he would have expected. Had he kissed Lauren as a way of screwing things up so he could escape this house? He looked at her beautiful face…
No. He’d kissed her because he was in love with her. Plain and simple.
The front door opened and Sean’s voice boomed from the floor below. “Where is everybody?”
Lauren turned toward the hallway. “I’ll go with you.”
He wanted to insist she remain upstairs, but he knew she wouldn’t listen. “Fine.” He rose from his bed and passed her, Lauren on his heels. Sean was in the living room when they got downstairs.
“Hey,” he said with a big grin. “Ravens fucking kicked ass. Did you catch the game?”
Chad shook his head. “No. I had some reading to do for my class tomorrow.” It wasn’t a lie. He still had the reading to do as he hadn’t been able to concentrate on the words on the page all afternoon.
“Damn, man. You better make a good paycheck as a psychologist. Can’t imagine any job worth missing a football game.”
Lauren laughed, but Chad detected the strain in her voice. She was nervous.
No need to prolong the agony.
“I kissed Lauren this afternoon.”
The words flew from his lips more abruptly than he’d intended.
Sean stared at him for a very long, very frozen moment. Then his gaze traveled to Lauren. “He did?”
From the corner of his eyes, Chad saw Lauren nod.
“It was my fault,” he added. “She tripped and I caught her. It was a stupid, impulsive thing to do, but I swear to you, man, it’ll never happen again.”
Sean rubbed his cheek and Chad stood his ground. It was impossible to know how Sean would respond to anything. Typically his reactions were so unconventional, they left Chad speechless.
This time was no exception.
“You’ve never kissed her before today?” Sean asked.
Chad shook his head, confused.
Sean looked at Lauren then winked. “Is he a better kisser than me?”
She released a loud breath that betrayed how much confessing to Sean had scared her. Leave it to his friend to break the tension with humor. “Sean,” she said.
Sean shrugged. “Sort of surprised it’s never happened before this. I mean, you guys have been in each other’s faces pretty much night and day for the past six years.”
Chad put his hands in his pockets, unsure how to reply. Sean was right. He’d lusted after Lauren for years. Spent at least a thousand nights dreaming of her soft lips…
He needed to get out of here. He wasn’t sure how to explain the difference between living in this house versus the apartment he’d shared with Sean, but it was as if his entire life was suddenly moving too fast, as if his days were numbered.
Sean and Lauren would get married, move on without him, and he was acting like an ass trying to cling to something that wasn’t there to begin with.
He sighed. It felt as if a huge part of his life was missing.
“You don’t wanna take a swing at me?” Chad asked. “I think if the shoe was on the other foot, I’d pound your ass into the ground.”
Sean shook his head. “I’m not mad.”
Chad looked at Lauren, who grinned as they both recalled her saying the exact same words a few minutes earlier.
Sean sat down on the couch. “I guess I should be, but I’m n
ot. In fact…” He paused and Chad waited to hear the rest of his sentence.
“In fact what?” Lauren asked.
Sean grinned crookedly. “Naw, it’ll sound too weird.”
“Say it,” Lauren prompted.
“I’m sort of sorry I didn’t get to see it.”
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Chad asked, his temper exploding. He’d been kicking his own ass all afternoon, feeling like the world’s biggest shit, and now Sean was saying he was sorry he didn’t get to see his best friend betraying him.
“Told you it was weird.”
Lauren perched herself on the end of the recliner. “Only you would regret something like that.” She laughed lightly before sobering. “Sean, I love you. I would never, ever cheat on you. I swear it.”
“I know that. And I think if it had been any other guy doing the kissing, you’d be pulling me off him right now as I tried to beat him to a pulp.” Sean looked at him and Chad fought to catch a breath at the complete and unquestionable understanding in his friend’s gaze. “But Chad’s different. He’s a part of us.”
Sean’s words hit him like a blow to the chest and Chad realized two things. One, he wanted to be a part of them. And two—he wasn’t.
“I’ll pack,” he said. “Move out.”
“What?” Sean stood quickly, shaking his head. “The hell you will. Didn’t you hear what I said? You belong here.” Sean looked at Lauren. “Right?”
Clearly Sean was suddenly worried Lauren would be uncomfortable with the current living arrangements.
“Right,” she said, so confidently there could be no mistaking her agreement.
They both wanted him to stay. He’d never felt so wanted…and so trapped.
Chapter Three
Sean kicked back on the couch, his bare feet resting on the coffee table in front of him as he watched a repeat of That ’70s Show. He popped another Oreo, not finding much comfort in the snack. Cookies had always been his no-fail pick-me-up. Today the sweet treat was falling short. It was Friday and he was grateful to see the longest week of his life finally end. Usually he worked at the pub, but he’d begged off for the night, promising Killian he’d work an extra day next week if he’d cover his shift.