Under Construction

by J. A. Armstrong

  Jameson kissed Candace gently. “I’ll set the alarm for 7:00. Okay? I’ll see you in a bit,” she said as she made her way from the bed. Candace grabbed Jameson’s pillow and almost immediately fell back to sleep. Jameson shook her head. She was tired, but she could tell that Candace was exhausted, and the planned chaos was only beginning. She stretched and headed for the shower hoping it would somehow bring her to life. “I’m ready for vacation already,” Jameson laughed.

  ***

  By noon, Candace’s house was full. Dana and Steve had decided to make their way to the area a day early. Jameson was grateful. She spent the majority of the afternoon playing with her nephews and Dana and Steve’s two children. She found herself enjoying the day far more than she had expected and looking forward to her parents’ arrival the next day. Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. Rick and Toby had seemed to cultivate a fast friendship. Jameson liked Marianne’s husband a great deal. He was mild mannered and it was clear that he not only loved Marianne; Rick’s affection for Candace was also evident. Jameson did not know Rick’s whole story. She did know that he had lost his mother when he was quite young and she suspected that Candace filled that role for him in many ways. As the sun began to set, and the kids began to tire, the party moved indoors. Jameson found herself sitting with Marianne and Dana.

  “So, what do you think?” Dana asked Jameson.

  “Think? Think about what?” Jameson laughed.

  “Oh come on, J.D.! What do you think about Candy running for governor?”

  “Mom’s running for governor?” Marianne piped up.

  Jameson shook her head. “She doesn’t know yet,” she said to Marianne. “As far as what I think; I think she should do whatever she wants to do.”

  “Uh-huh. You know, J.D. if she does, she will be in a prime position to run for higher office,” Dana said. Jameson just smiled.

  “You mean you think my mother might run for president; don’t you?” Marianne asked. Dana just smiled. Jameson’s gaze had drifted across the room to where Candace was cuddling Spencer happily. “That’s crazy,” Marianne said.

  Dana shrugged. “Why? She could do it if she wanted to.”

  “She could do anything,” Jameson said proudly. She was enjoying watching Candace’s expression as she held her grandson.

  “She could. She won’t,” Marianne said emphatically. “She never wanted any of that.”

  “Things change sometimes,” Jameson said softly. “Sometimes, you think you are heading one way and all of a sudden you are forced to take a detour. You find out you like the scenery on the new road better.”

  Marianne frowned slightly. She followed Jameson’s eyes to where they were focused on her mother. She looked back at Jameson, who seemed oblivious to anything at the moment except Candace. Marianne looked at Dana. “My mother is about as likely to run for The White House as she is to have more children,” she said. “I wouldn’t bet on her coming home to New York. She’s been pretty clear that she likes her life the way it is,” she said bluntly.

  Dana forced a smile. Marianne often challenged her patience. She wasn’t certain what it was that Marianne struggled with about Candace’s life. Part of it, she suspected, was the difficulty that Marianne had with her parents’ divorce. She was seventeen when her parents split. Dana would have thought that would have made it easier. Marianne was off to college before Candace had even become involved with Jessica. Michelle was only fourteen, and Jonah twelve. Both of Candace’s younger children seemed to accept, if not always support their mother’s decisions both personally and professionally. It was always Marianne who seemed to need to stir the pot.

  “You never know,” Jameson said softly as Candace looked up and caught her attention, offering a soft smile.

  “You never know what?” Marianne asked pointedly.

  Jameson turned to Candace’s eldest child. “You never know what the future might have in store,” Jameson winked. She smiled at Dana and made her way across the room to Candace.

  Dana looked over and saw Jameson place a kiss on Candace’s cheek and whisper something in her ear. “Truer words,” Dana chuckled.

  “Excuse me?” Marianne asked.

  Dana motioned across the room. Jameson’s nephew Eli was trying to climb up her leg. Candace was laughing while Spencer slept in her arms. “Looks good on them. You never know, Marianne. Your mother might surprise us all.”

  Marianne’s posture grew rigid. She watched her mother pass Spencer to Rick before she and Jameson led two overtired little boys toward the kitchen. “Oh, I do know,” she thought silently.

  ***

  “I hear there’s a little buzz about the senator,” Maureen Reid goaded her daughter.

  “Buzz?” Jameson played dumb.

  “J.D.?” Maureen smacked her daughter lightly. “Lots of talk about the future,” she lifted an eyebrow.

  Jameson laughed at her mother. Maureen Reid had spent her entire career teaching history. She relished anything political or historical in nature. Jameson was confident that it delighted her mother to no end to have a senator in the family. “Whose future?” Jameson winked.

  “She could do it, J.D. I mean it. If not her own candidacy, she could easily end up in a cabinet position; Attorney General, Secretary of State, even Vice President,” Maureen said.

  “Yes, I know,” Jameson agreed.

  “Do you not want her to do that?” Maureen asked.

  Jameson caught a wayward beach ball from the pool and tossed it back to her brother. “No.”

  “No! You don’t want her to?” Maureen was shocked.

  “No,” Jameson laughed. “I want her to do what she wants to do.”

  “What about you? Do you think you could handle that? I mean, even governor. Geez…J.D., you would be really in the spotlight. A lesbian couple in the governor’s mansion?” Maureen said with a grin. Jameson wiggled a bit in her chair. “That isn’t what you want; is it?” Maureen asked quietly.

  Jameson gave an uncomfortable grin. “I just want her to be happy.”

  “What about you?” Maureen asked.

  “You won’t believe me.”

  “Try me?” Maureen replied.

  “I’m just happy to be along for the ride. I really don’t know what to expect, Mom. I have no idea where she might be headed. I just hope she wants me to be a part of it. It scares me sometimes.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I don’t want to let her down. And, because I really don’t want to be without her. As weird as it sounds, I don’t want to be without Shell or Pearl or God, or any of this.”

  “It’s not weird J.D.”

  Jameson grinned. “You thought it might be weird having a daughter-in-law a few years younger than you. Imagine having your daughter-in-law in The White House someday!” Jameson laughed.

  “J.D.? Are you and Candace getting married?” Maureen asked.

  “Huh?”

  “You said daughter-in-law.”

  “Oh…Hmmm. Don’t know,” Jameson laughed. “Think she’d want to?” Jameson asked.

  Maureen rolled her eyes. “You’d have to ask her,” she winked.

  “Guess that makes sense.”

  “Are you going to?” Maureen grew wide-eyed.

  Jameson shook her head. “Not today,” she laughed as a splash of water doused her.

  ***

  “Spencer seems to love the water,” Candace commented to Marianne as they watched Rick swing the baby through the water.

  “Yeah. I guess he takes after his father,” her daughter answered.

  “What do you mean? When you were a kid, we couldn’t get you out of the water,” Candace chuckled at the memory. She watched in the distance as Jameson’s nephew Eli splashed his aunt who was sitting near the edge of the pool. “Having the kids here reminds me of those days,” she said wistfully. Candace listened to Eli daring Jameson to jump in. Candace laughed when Jameson stopped her conversation with her mother abruptly and obliged her nephew’s request b
y splashing into the pool with her shorts and T-Shirt on. “Lunatic,” she mumbled affectionately.

  Marianne looked at her mother seriously. “You might want to be careful taking that trip down memory lane,” Marianne said.

  “What does that mean?” Candace asked.

  Marianne sighed. “Mom…What happens when J.D. wants to fill that pool back up with screaming toddlers?”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “I’m talking about you and J.D. What are you going to say when J.D. wants to have a family?” Marianne asked.

  Candace was completely taken off guard. “Marianne, where is this coming from? Jameson hasn’t given me any indication that she wants children….at all.”

  “Have you two talked about it?”

  Candace’s face was beginning to flush. She was both irritated and embarrassed by her daughter’s line of questioning. “Not directly, no. In general, yes.”

  “What does that mean?” Marianne challenged her mother.

  “It means it’s none of your business,” Candace answered abruptly.

  “I’m just raising a point.”

  “Marianne, Jameson and I are not planning on having a family. In all the things we have discussed, Jameson’s desire for children has not once come up…and before you say another word; I am certain that if it were something she wanted, she would have raised the issue numerous times by now.”

  “Uh-huh. Mom,” Marianne said. “J.D. is thirty-five. Look at her! How can you be so sure that she won’t change her mind in two years? People change what they want sometimes. You of all people know that. I saw her looking at you last night when you were rocking Spencer,” Marianne said.

  Candace sighed. The conversation was making her extremely uncomfortable. She and Jameson had never discussed family in this manner. They had considered Candace’s children, Jameson’s family, and how they would navigate everyone’s questions, concerns, and personalities. They had not once delved into the subject of whether or not Jameson wanted children. Candace had just assumed that they were on the same page. “Jameson loves kids,” she admitted. “That doesn’t mean she wants her own.”

  Marianne nodded. “Now,” she remarked. “What about you? You really want to open up that can of worms, Mom? I mean….seriously? Can you see yourself with babies again?”

  Candace swallowed hard. She felt herself becoming unsteady and was grateful when she heard Pearl call out to her from the kitchen. “I have to go help Pearl,” she said.

  Candace made her way across the yard at a brisk pace, holding back mounting tears. Michelle caught sight of her mother’s expression as she moved away from Marianne and headed directly for her sister’s location. “What the hell did you say to her?” she asked her older sister.

  “What?” Marianne snapped.

  “What did you say to Mom to upset her this time?” Michelle asked.

  “Why do you assume it’s my fault? I just raised a question. If it upset her, that’s not my fault.”

  ***

  Candace was cutting up vegetables silently when Pearl removed the knife from her hand and set it down. “What is going on with you?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Candy,” Pearl warned.

  “I’m fine.”

  “And, I’m an eighteen-year-old swimsuit model. Out with it,” Pearl ordered. Candace looked up with watery eyes. “Who do I need to ground?” Pearl joked.

  Candace chuckled and wiped away the hint of a tear. “Oh, Pearl. Am I being realistic?”

  “Realistic? You lost me.”

  “About Jameson,” Candace said sadly. “What if I am keeping her from the things she deserves? I’ve raised my family. For Christ’s sake, I’m a grandmother!”

  “Still lost. You went left somewhere back there and I’m still at the stoplight. What are you talking about?” Pearl asked.

  “Jameson wanting children.”

  “Oh. Does Jameson want children?” Pearl asked.

  “I don’t know. She’s never said that, but…”

  “Never said that to me either,” Pearl offered. “So, just ask her.”

  “What?” Candace startled.

  “If you’re worried about it; ask her. I think she would have said something by now,” Pearl shrugged, seeming unfazed by the conversation.

  “I agree,” Candace said. “That doesn’t mean she might not change her mind.”

  “True,” Pearl replied.

  “You are not helping!” Candace said. “How can you be so calm?” Pearl shrugged again and leaned against the counter. Candace covered her eyes. “I don’t want to lose her.”

  “So don’t,” Pearl said.

  “Pearl…”

  “What? Why are you so worried about what might happen? You know better than that,” Pearl said.

  “I don’t want to do that again,” Candace said. “I did that part of my life.”

  Pearl nodded. “Where did you get this idea anyway?” Candace sighed. “Well?”

  “Marianne just mentioned that…”

  “Candy,” Pearl scolded. “Listen to me,” she said. “I’ve lived a little longer than you. Not much, but just enough,” she said with a wink. Candace sighed again. “You love Jameson?”

  “Of course, I do.”

  “Um-hum. That’s why you are hesitant to make certain changes. Am I right?” Pearl asked.

  “You mean running for governor.”

  “I do. Am I wrong? You’re not sure you want to do that. Part of you does and part of you doesn’t. Mostly because you’re afraid that where it might lead is not what Jameson will want,” Pearl surmised.

  “It’s not just that,” Candace said. “I’m not sure if it’s what I want. If I do it…everything will change for us.”

  “And, I will bet that you are right, Jameson would probably rather not rock the boat, but I will also bet that she will stay beside you if that’s what you want. She’ll make the compromises if I know Jameson. And, I do know Jameson.”

  “I know that,” Candace said. “That’s why I want to be sure before I make that decision, before we make that decision. She’d do anything for me. I know that too.” Pearl smiled and raised her brow. Candace shook her head as she followed the older woman’s train of thought. “Not the same thing,” Candace said.

  “Yes, it is,” Pearl said. “You are worried about something that hasn’t even come to pass. And, you don’t even know how you would feel if it did.” Candace’s jaw fell open. “First of all, I’m not sure Jameson would ever even want children,” Pearl said.

  “Did you see her with those boys?” Candace chimed.

  Pearl nodded and noted the smile on Candace’s face. “Yes, and so did you. You look me in the eyes and tell me it doesn’t make you love her all the more,” Pearl challenged. Candace groaned. “That doesn’t mean she wants her own,” Pearl said. “Things change, Candy. People even change. You can’t predict tomorrow. You just have to trust that you and Jameson will be able to get through whatever comes your way.”

  “I know.”

  “So, trust her.”

  “I do,” Candace said.

  “Than trust that she will tell you what she needs, not Marianne.” Candace sighed heavily. “Don’t try to predict the future, Candy,” Pearl said. “It has a way of surprising you.” Candace nodded with a smile as Pearl enveloped her in a hug. “And, for once…consider the source. I love Marianne, but she has a vivid imagination and she doesn’t think things through sometimes.”

  “I know,” Candace said.

  “Yes, but you sometimes forget.”

  ***

  “What did you say to make Mom cry?” Michelle demanded of her sister.

  Jonah heard Michelle’s voice raise and made his way over to his siblings. “What do you mean Mom’s crying?” he asked.

  “It’s not my fault,” Marianne defended herself.

  “Bullshit, Marianne. What did you say?” Michelle barked.

  Rick noticed the argument beginning and discretel
y asked Jameson if she would hold Spencer. “What is going on?” he asked as he toweled off his short hair.

  “Ask your wife,” Michelle answered without removing her gaze from her sister.

  “I didn’t do anything,” Marianne insisted. “I just asked her a simple question.”

  “What kind of question?” Jonah asked.

  “I just asked if she had considered the fact that Jameson might want kids someday. What would she do then?” Marianne explained as reasonably as she could.

  “Why the hell would you even ask that?” Michelle asked.

  “Come on, Shell! You can’t seriously see Mom with another baby! Jesus! You want brothers and sisters the same age as your own kids? I’m just trying to help her be realistic.”

  “No, you’re just trying to cause trouble for her and J.D.,” Michelle said in disgust.

  “Jonah?” Marianne implored her brother.

  Jonah shook his head. “Why can’t you just let them be?”

  “Don’t tell me you are suddenly all for this relationship?” Michelle asked her brother.

  “Why wouldn’t I be? J.D.’s been nothing but good to all of us. I don’t give a shit about their age difference.”

  “It’s not the age difference, Jonah. It’s the reality difference. You didn’t see J.D. watching Mom yesterday with Spencer. I mean….come on! You’re twenty-four. You seriously want to have little brothers and sisters?”

  Jonah shrugged. “Why do I care?” he asked. “I’m not raising them.” Rick snickered at his brother-in-law’s response.

  “You’re not helping!” Marianne chastised her husband.

  Rick nodded. “I don’t actually see your point in any of this,” he said honestly. “Your mom and Jameson are adults. They can do whatever they want.”

  “You want Spencer playing with his uncle?” Marianne asked pointedly. Rick shrugged again, unaffected by the scenario.

  “God, you can be such a bitch,” Michelle chimed.

  “I’m just trying…”

  “To what? Be the center of attention?” Michelle’s voice was rising fast. “What are you afraid of? That Spencer won’t command center stage or something? Why do you care? How about if I have a baby? How about Jonah!”