Marriage of Inconvenience

by Penny Reid

  I had to roll my lips between my teeth because Dan was mumbling, “He knows people with babies.”

  I wrapped my arm through his and turned my face into his shoulder, laughing silently. Dan also huffed a laugh, his hand coming to my face and encouraging me to tilt my head back.

  I did, and our gazes met. His eyes were tired. But they were also happy.

  “Hi,” he said, and I allowed his voice’s soft, seductive cadence to pour over me, warming me, filling my insides with delicious restlessness.

  “Hi.”

  He conducted a sweep of my features in a way that felt cherishing. “We need to talk.”

  I nodded, suppressing dread and hope, focusing instead on resolve. “We do. I have—I mean—there’s a lot I need to tell you.”

  Dan’s mouth curved into a regretful frown. “It’ll have to wait. I have to leave. I have a business trip to Australia. I won’t be home until next Monday at the earliest.”

  Oh. Darn.

  “When do you leave?”

  He glanced at his watch. “In three hours.”

  I swallowed my disappointment, my gaze falling away.

  “Okay.” I would miss him. As bizarre as that sounded—since nothing between us was settled—it was true.

  “Hey.” He slipped a finger under my chin, bringing my eyes back to his. After gazing at me for a long moment, he brushed a light kiss against my lips. I gripped his wrist, seeking more of his mouth, more of him, but he retreated.

  Dan peered down at me, his handsome brown eyes earnest. “I’m going to miss you.”

  My heart suffered a minor explosion of happiness and without thinking, I responded, “I’ll miss you, too.”

  “And we’ll talk.”

  “I’ll call you. All the time.”

  He laughed lightly, looking at me like I was funny. I winced at the eager tone of my voice, trying to amend, “I mean, not all the time. I’ll call you when you want to be called, or we could set up a call. You know what I mean.”

  “No.” He shook his head, still smiling. “You said all the time, I expect calls all the time.”

  I tried to glare at him but failed.

  “Just don’t call me from the bathroom.” He made a face. “My sister Colleen does that and it’s fucking gross. Called me from a new French restaurant to tell me it gave her diarrhea while she was having diarrhea in the ladies’ room. Who does that? It’s why I won’t ever touch her cell phone.”

  “Is this the one who is vegan?”

  “What? No way. Colleen wouldn’t touch a carrot even if it’d give her magical powers. I’ve never seen her eat a vegetable unless you count potatoes. You’re thinking of Cathy. She’s the health nut.”

  “How many sisters do you have?”

  “Four.” Dan glanced at his watch and cut me off before I could react to the fact that he had four sisters or ask him anything further about his family. “I have a favor to ask.”

  “What? Anything,” I offered immediately.

  His eyebrows pulled together and he studied me, giving me the sense my eager response troubled him. Eventually, pulling a key from his pocket, he said, “I’d like you to move into my place.”

  I blinked at him, the key he held out to me, and his request. “You want—”

  “I’ve been thinking about it since last week. Your uncle said this thing needs to look real, right? How real is it going to look with you still in your apartment and me still in mine? And another thing, what if Caleb shows up while I’m gone? That building of yours only has one door to the outside, easy enough to get through. Our place on Randolph has a doorman, touch sensors on the door, and a concierge with a security lock on the elevator—and that’s just the lobby level.”

  I nodded, trying to separate my instinctive and gleeful first impulse from logic. I needed to think this through rationally, carefully. What were the long-term implications of sharing a space with Dan? I needed to consider not just right now, but also the future.

  As though reading my mind, he reminded me, “I have a guest room. You can have the master or the—”

  “No. I’m not taking your room. The points you make are good ones. It’s just, it would be one thing if this marriage—if things were completely fake between us. I mean, I know the marriage is fake. But we’re, we—”

  “We dig each other.”

  “Right.” I couldn’t stop my grin.

  “And you’re worried about what happens if things don’t work out between us.”

  “I guess so.” But that wasn’t quite right.

  His expression turned thoughtful, but it looked carefully thoughtful, giving me the sense he was working to keep his features blank.

  Dan reached for my hand and placed the key in my palm, encouraging my fingers to close around it. “There is one more thing.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Wally.”

  “Wally?”

  “Yeah. I could really use your help with Wally. I’ve been traveling a lot, and I know it’s hard on him.” Dan scratched his neck. “And, you know, he likes you, so . . .”

  Was he . . . ?

  No.

  Did he . . . ?

  No way.

  Is he trying to guilt me into moving?

  I stared at Dan, at his handsome face’s practiced innocence, and my mind gasped.

  He is!

  I couldn’t believe him. He was using his dog to manipulate me!

  On principle, I knew I should be upset.

  But in reality, I was completely charmed.

  Try to make sense of that, I dare you.

  Subduing my smile, I endeavored to wipe my features of anything that might give me away. Instead, I said, “Yes. I’ll do it. I’ll move in.”

  Dan nodded, his expression still meticulously thoughtful. “Good,” he said, covering my hand with his. “You should start boxing things up tonight. Stan will help, and Nicolas is already on his way.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  A Public Company: A business company that has issued securities through an initial public offering (IPO) and is traded on at least one stock exchange or the over-the-counter market.

  —Investopedia

  **Dan**

  I was a bastard.

  And I couldn’t even claim to be an honest bastard. Not this time.

  Fiona had her baby Friday night, Ava Evans Archer.

  Janie had her baby Saturday morning, Desmond Daniel Sullivan, if you can believe it.

  Now it was Monday, over a week later, and I was on my way back to the States after meeting with our clients in Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, and Perth. A freaking Australian tour.

  And I was a bastard.

  I knew what I’d done. I wasn’t one of those cumcakes who had illusions about the ends justifying the means, or any of that wishy-washy bullshit. I was a jerk bastard and I’d manipulated her into moving in with me.

  Note, the placement of man in the word manipulate. Coincidence? Nope.

  I wanted Kat safe while I was gone. I didn’t want her cousin sneaking in and carting her off while I was halfway across the world. So I’d laid a guilt trap and she’d tripped into it beautifully.

  I hadn’t even felt bad.

  Okay, I kinda felt bad.

  All right, I’d felt really bad.

  And I would tell her the truth when I got back from the future in the land of Oz. Telling her over the phone wasn’t an option, as I didn’t want her changing her mind. Plus, the time difference had been a killer. When I was waking up, Kat was going to sleep and vice versa. My early morning meetings and late night dinners made it worse.

  Texting proved to be sporadic, but more successful than trying to arrange a call. We replied to each other when we could, adding random thoughts and carrying on an unconventional conversation, with a ton of gaps in response times.

  I was so damn tired, and the only thing keeping me awake was the anticipation of seeing Kat within the hour. As I buckled in for the landing, I scrolled through our messages fro
m the past week for maybe the hundredth time.

  Dan: Just landed in Sydney. What day is it there?

  Kat: It was the middle of the night on Sunday when I received your message, now it’s Monday morning. How are you? How was your day? I hope you are well and you were able to sleep on the plane.

  Kat: Steven says hi. He is forcing me to type this. He told me to tell you he has video of us kissing at the Clerk’s office and he’s using it to blackmail you into giving him a raise.

  Dan: Tell him to put it up on YouTube so I can watch it. How are you? How was your day? Are you up yet?

  Dan: I shit you not, I just saw a fucking kangaroo hopping down the fucking street! Holy shit.

  Dan: Good night.

  Kat: Good morning. I can’t believe you saw a kangaroo hopping down the street!! :-O That’s crazy. I did a little research last night and Australia is supposed to have all the poisonous and dangerous animals, and spiders the size of dinner plates. I WANT TO GO SO BAD!!!

  Kat: My boss just got back from her business trip and is so jet-lagged. I went into her office to bring her some reports and she was passed out, forehead on her desk. I didn’t have the heart to wake her up, so I canceled all her meetings this afternoon and rescheduled them for next week and I finished her financial report for the division heads meeting for tomorrow morning. I thought about covering her with a blanket, but it felt like crossing a line.

  Kat: Good night. Thinking of you.

  Dan: Thinking of me? Were you in bed as you typed that? What were you wearing?

  Dan: Just read your text about your boss sleeping on her desk. You’re a good person. If it had been Quinn, I would’ve woken him up with a police siren.

  Dan: Here’s an Australian joke for you: Why did the manager hire the marsupial? Because he was koala-fied.

  Dan: Flying to Brisbane. Miss you.

  Kat: Good morning. I miss you, too.

  Kat: When you come home I’d like to take you out on a date.

  Kat: That joke was very punny.

  Kat: Please send me a picture of yourself.

  Kat: I know you’re asleep, but I am feeling like my last few text messages aren’t coming across as I’d intended. I’m sorry if I make everything weirder than it needs to be.

  Kat: Good night. I’m thinking of you, in my bed, wearing my TARDIS pajamas.

  Dan: I love waking up to your messages. You make everything both weird and better.

  Dan: You want me to pick the place? Sandra has me hooked on that Indian restaurant. I can’t get enough of the butter chicken. Glad she moved out of that building. The neighborhood is nice, but her building was shit. Your old building wasn’t great either. It only had that one security door and your apartment door wasn’t reinforced.

  Dan: Here is a picture of me next to their snake terrarium. This guy behind me is a tiger snake and is one of the deadliest in the world. Send a picture of you.

  Dan: Good night. Thinking of you in your bed, wearing your TARDIS pajamas.

  Kat: Good morning. Thank you for the picture. I’m missing you today.

  Kat: This is a picture of me in front of The Bean on my way to work. I’m supposed to see Janie and

  Desmond today, so I’ll send another one later.

  I paused a moment here, as I’d been doing since she sent the photo. I liked how wide her smile was, how her eyes were big and happy. I couldn’t wait to see her again, the real her. She was probably in my apartment right now. Maybe she wasn’t waiting for me, but she’d be there when I got home.

  My stubbornness refused to admit her being there and her waiting for me weren’t the same thing.

  Kat: Here I am with Desmond. Stan took the picture. P.S. Stan thinks Desmond is cute, so he must be cute. As we know, Stan is the baby expert.

  I paused here, too. Chuckling at her text, but also liking the way she looked holding a baby. The shitty feeling in my chest had become something else as soon as she’d sent this picture. Something good. Something I would miss, probably mourn, if I never saw her again.

  Kat: Time for bed. I hope you have a good day. <3

  Dan: Thanks for the pictures. Sweet dreams.

  Kat: How was your day?

  Dan: Hey, I’m just finishing with a meeting, and I was thinking about you. Have you heard from Eugene? Anything new going on with your cousin? We should call that guy by the code name Tiny Satan.

  Dan: I’m on my way to a dinner thing. Day was good but long. These people make fun of the way I talk, one guy asked if the letter “R” was against my religion. Cheeky fuck.

  Dan: These people can hold their liquor. I switched to water an hour ago and these guys are still going, and one lady is drinking them all under the table. She doesn’t appear to be affected yet, liver of steel on this one.

  I wasn’t yet finished going through our messages—I still had four days’ worth—when a new message flashed on my screen. The number wasn’t one I recognized, but that didn’t matter because the sender announced himself right off the bat.

  #: This is Eugene Marks. Please call me ASAP. Use this number.

  There was only one reason Eugene would use ASAP, and that one reason was Tiny Satan.

  The plane landed, just touched down. Certain in the knowledge that I’d be stuck on the runway for a few minutes as we taxied to the hanger, I leaned forward and returned his call, a spike of adrenaline waking me up.

  He answered on the second ring. “Mr. O’Malley.”

  “Eugene.”

  The old guy hesitated, like he hadn’t expected me to use his first name even though I’d used it every time we’d talked.

  He recovered. “Where are you? Where is Kathleen? She has her phone off.”

  I saw no reason to evade his questions. “It’s the middle of the night, so I assume she’s asleep at home. I’m on a plane at O’Hare. Why?”

  “You’re leaving?”

  “No. I’m arriving. What’s going on?”

  “Kathleen isn’t at her apartment.”

  “No. Like I said, she’s home. She’s at our place.”

  Again, he hesitated, but this time he hadn’t quite recovered when he spoke. “Your place? She moved in?”

  “Yeah.”

  I picked a piece of lint from my pant leg while I listened to him sigh a big sigh of relief.

  “That’s great.”

  “What’s going on, Eugene? Talk to me.”

  “Caleb flew out to Chicago this afternoon, with reinforcements.”

  Motherfucker.

  I gritted my teeth, feeling a lot less bad that I’d tricked Kat into moving to my place. “Private security?”

  “Yes. But he may involve the local authorities at this point. He has a temporary emergency order for guardianship, which is of course invalid since the two of you are married. But he doesn’t know that, not yet. I’ve been attempting to reach Kathleen. I discovered this information an hour ago when Caleb called me, asking me to confirm her address.”

  “That fucktrumpet was waiting for her? At her old place?” Adrenaline took a back seat to fury, fury took the wheel, and fury was a terrible driver.

  “He doesn’t know she’s married, but it might make strategic sense for me to tell him.” No hesitation this time, but I also got the impression he was talking to himself.

  “Why would you tell that cumbucket anything?” I was yelling. When I’m pissed, I yell, and Tiny Satan made me want to yodel from a damn mountain. Like I said, fury was a terrible driver.

  “As long as he trusts me, I’m privy to information that might prove advantageous.” Meanwhile, Eugene didn’t sound even a little bit ruffled.

  “Okay, yeah. That makes sense.” Resolve took over from fury, but fury stuck close by, just in case some skulls needed cracking. “So why haven’t you told Caleb that Kat is hitched?”

  “Mr. O’Malley—Daniel—you haven’t sent the postnup. Did you receive the new copy? With the changes you requested?”

  “Oh, yeah. I signed it, but data has been spotty since
we took off. Kat still needs to sign.”

  “Yes. Good, good. Have her sign and then have your lawyer send it to my work email. I’ll text you the address. If your lawyer adds language suggesting their firm drafted the document, I would not object.”

  “Gotcha.”

  “Then, I will notify the judge and Caleb that Kathleen is married. The order will have to be rescinded.” The way he said this had me fighting off a smirk.

  “Sounds like breaking the news to Caleb is going to be a real hardship, huh?”

  I didn’t know Eugene very well. Before now, we’d only spoken on the phone twice to review changes I wanted to the postnup. But sometimes—like now—he reminded me of Mr. Burns from The Simpsons, whenever the greedy geezer would say, “Excellent” with his fingers tented.

  “At times, it is necessary to willingly undertake an unpleasant task, or make a personal sacrifice, for the collective benefit of one’s friends or colleagues.” I thought I detected a smile in his voice, but I couldn’t be sure.

  “Taking one for the team, Eugene?”

  “Precisely. Send the postnup. Have a pleasant evening, Daniel.”

  “You can call me Dan.”