Fret (The Recoil Rock Series Book 4)

by K E Osborn

  “Just gotta work on my trust issues,” she replies, and I nod.

  “Yeah, totally get that. After what Kyle did to you there’s no doubt that you’ll have some reservations about having another man in your life. But Alex, we’re not all douches like Kyle. I promise.”

  “It’s been so long and taken me three years to get to where I am. I’m not sure I’m willing to risk it all for another asshole.”

  “Then test the waters, make sure Logan isn’t an asshole, and if he is, cut him loose before it gets too far. Plus, I’m your wingman. He has to get my approval before things get full on anyway. I got you.”

  “Okay, good to know you have my back.”

  “Of course, just like you’ll tell me if Jaci is not right for me. We have to be each other’s sensible mind in this internet dating saga.”

  She nods. “Okay, you have a deal. When one is getting in too deep with the wrong person, the other steps in and says something?”

  “Exactly.”

  She puts out her hand, and we both shake on it when my cell beeps. I check it and it’s Jaci.

  “Speak of the devil,” I say.

  Jacqueline: Man I’ve had a busy afternoon, but you’ve been on my mind for most of it. Hope you’ve had a good day?

  I grin widely, and Alex chuckles as she nudges her shoulder into mine. “She makes you smile already, that’s a good sign.”

  “Logan doesn’t make you smile?”

  “Haven’t spoken to him enough to figure that out yet.”

  “Okay, well, let’s go to the sofa and chat to them at the same time. We can ask them the same questions and see how they both answer.”

  “This is so weird, but sure, why the hell not.”

  We sit down on the gray sofa next to each other. With the fortune cookies in hand and our cell phones, we open up the Lovepessimist app.

  “Okay, so let’s send them random questions and see what each of them writes back,” I say and Alex giggles but nods, as we open up the message section for Logan and Jaci.

  “So what’s first? Something simple?” Alex asks.

  “What about… what was your favorite childhood activity?”

  Alex scoffs. “That’s a damn boring question. He’s gonna think I’m lame.” Alex giggles as she sends the question, and the sound is so cute I almost want to lean over and hug her for being so utterly adorable.

  But that would be weird… right?

  Chuckling as I type the same question out, I send it to Jaci. We sit waiting to see if either reply. Alex’s answer comes in first, and she laughs out loud while showing it to me.

  Logan: YES! This is great, I love 20 questions! My answer is Moto-X riding…

  “See we’ll get you chatting with him properly in no time,” I say as Jaci’s message comes in, and I open it. Alex leans over my shoulder to see.

  Jacqueline: Well, I guess my childhood was always about horses, didn’t do much else as a child, except maybe go to the beach house.

  Alex turns her nose up and purses her lips. “Jaci sounds… nice,” she offers with a hint of humor in her voice, so I bump into her side playfully.

  “Oh shush… she’s just from an upper-class family—”

  “Oh yeah, I got that vibe.”

  I shake my head. “Okay, what’s the next question?”

  “Weirdest place you’ve had sex?” she asks, and I jolt my head back.

  “No, you can’t ask that this early, Alex.” A slight snort comes from my mouth, and she frowns and nods.

  “True. Okay. What about the most adventurous thing you’ve done?”

  I agree and set about typing it out. We both send the question, and the replies come in soon after.

  Logan: Oh easy, parachuting from a hot air balloon!

  We both open our eyes wide and gawk while we chuckle.

  “Geez, this guy’s got balls the size of King Kong,” I say.

  “Imagine how big his cock is then,” Alex says, and I burst out laughing.

  “Alex! You can’t say that with another guy in the room.”

  She pats my knee. “Oh, don’t worry, Matt, I’m sure your cock’s huge, too,” she teases and I raise my brow at her.

  “You’ve thought about my cock size?”

  She jolts back like she’s been caught out, and doesn’t know what to say when Jaci’s message comes through saving her from replying. I smirk and hold up the message for us to check out.

  Jacqueline: I guess staying up for 24 hours straight one-night binge watching t.v. and then going in to work the next day.

  We both sag into the sofa and let out a collective sigh. I reach for a fortune cookie, crack it open and throw some into my mouth not bothering to read the fortune.

  Alex looks to me and furrows her brow. “Well, seems like Logan’s definitely more adventurous than Jaci.”

  I shrug. “Oh well, I can get my adventurous woman out of you, right?”

  “Yup, sidekick extraordinaire and go-getter. I’m your gal!”

  “Exactly, she can be my calm, and you can be the trusty sidekick that does the adventurous things with me.”

  “Absolutely! As long as Logan doesn’t mind sharing me, of course.”

  I chuckle. “Hey, I’m going to be the flower girl at your wedding, so he better like me,” I tease, and she literally bursts out laughing.

  Once she gets herself back under control, she takes a steadying breath. “Out of all the things at a wedding you choose to be a flower girl? Wow Matt, is there something you’re not telling me?”

  “Oh, like what?”

  “That you have a split personality, and one of them is a little girl dying to get out of you?”

  “You got me,” I say with a chuckle and she giggles.

  Leaning her side into mine even more so now were touching quite comfortably, the atmosphere in the room is one of complete ease and familiarity. The buzz circling us is just enough to make my skin prickle, but not enough to be electrifying. It’s enough to notice, but not enough to act on as we continue through the night becoming more and more comfortable with each other, as we continue to text Logan and Jaci.

  Eventually, the messages die down from Jaci and Logan, and it’s just Alex and me on the sofa watching re-runs of The Walking Dead. I’m in a laid back sitting position, while Alex has her head resting on my lap and it’s pure comfort. We fit so well together as friends. There’s nothing about tonight that hasn’t been utterly enjoyable. And for the first time being here, I feel like I’ve been here a million times before. Hell, I feel like this is my place I’m so comfortable here.

  I love this place.

  Alex yawns, and even though I don’t want to go it’s getting late, and I don’t want to keep Alex up when I know she has to be up early to go to the gallery tomorrow. I lean down pulling her up off me, and her sleepy eyes look at me questioningly as she stretches and sits up.

  “I’m gonna head off, but thanks for an awesome night.”

  She nods and yawns again, moving the back of her hand to her mouth to cover her yawn. “Shit! Thanks for coming over. Sorry, I’m all sleepy.”

  “No, don’t be silly. You have work tomorrow. You need some sleep.”

  “Thanks, Matt, we should do this again.”

  “We definitely should,” I reply as we stand up and walk to Alex’s front door. She opens it, and we lean in embracing each other. As I pull back, she tilts her head and kisses me on the cheek. I get that warm feeling again, and I squeeze her hand in a friendly gesture and turn to leave.

  Watching Matt leave, I feel a sense of safety washing over me. Like I will always be protected with him no matter what. I like this feeling. It’s a feeling like he would do anything to make sure I’m happy. Which makes me pleased that I have him in my life now, and I’m so glad to have a decent friendship with someone finally.

  Looking over to the kitchen table, I figure I better clean up from dinner and then I’ll head straight to bed. I know it will be another big day at work tomorrow. So I go about
tidying up and then get changed into my shorts and shirt, and hop into bed. The one place in my apartment that’s void of color, where I can switch off for the night and truly try to tune out.

  But as my head hits my pillow and I pull the duvet up to my chin, my thoughts are with my parents and my grandmother, and as I close my eyes an image of my ex Kyle comes to mind which sends me off into a very restless sleep.

  Waking up, I feel like crap, less chipper than my usual self after spending all night lost in dreams of my parents and being completely alone in the world. Even though I’m feeling flat as hell, I’ll put on a brave face for Nate because he needs to be uplifted. So after getting up, having a light breakfast and getting ready, I head to the gallery like normal.

  Walking in, the bright sunny light cheers me up, but not to the extent I was hoping. Most of Nate’s artwork is somber and moody, so looking at the art brings my mood down another notch as I glance at the walls. Sighing, I look over to Robert the cleaner and nod my head in a gesture of ‘good morning,’ and he stops mopping the floor to look up at me with a bright smile.

  “Morning Alex my sweet, you look particularly beautiful this morning,” he says, and to be honest, typically those words from an older man I would find kinda sleazy, but from Robert I know it comes from a good place. He’s a great guy. Looking down at the two piece dress suit I have on I wipe my hands over the silky fabric.

  “Oh, this old thing… nah, but thank you. How’s the wife and kids?”

  “Oh Lord, keeping me insane as ever.” He chuckles as he goes back to mopping, and I continue walking toward the studio and Nate.

  I giggle as I pat Robert’s shoulder and pass him moving into the studio. Nate’s hunched over a canvas looking disheveled with a day’s growth of beard on his face, which is unusual for him. He’s actually becoming a little out of control. Sighing, I walk over and take up the stool next to him as he continues to paint almost as if he didn’t even see me come in.

  “You’re taking this moody artist thing a bit far don’t you think?” He shrugs and continues to paint. “Nate, I know you miss her, I know you’re sad, and I know it’s working for your paintings, but you gotta look after yourself. Are you eating?”

  He nods, gesturing to the granola bar that’s half-eaten on the bench next to a full cup of coffee.

  I exhale. “And did you have any dinner last night?”

  He points with his brush to the trash can which houses a pizza box. I chew on my bottom lip and nod. Well, that’s something at least.

  “Okay, I can see you’re in the zone, I’ll leave you to it… oh, master painter extraordinaire,” I tease and he lets out a stifled chuckle.

  “Thanks, Alex, I appreciate your concern. I’m doing fine. I promise. No need to send in a doctor just yet.”

  I puff out a gust of air from my mouth which flicks my hair from my face. “Good to know. But I have one on standby if you need him, just say the word.”

  “I’m fine, honestly, but I love that you care so much. Thank you. Now go… do some work.”

  I salute him exaggeratedly. “Yes, boss.”

  Stepping off, I move out to open the gallery and generally run the place for the day. I sell a few paintings, work on the accounting, and make sure everything is flowing smoothly.

  Nate stayed in his studio all day and didn’t come out once, which concerns me. I checked in on him occasionally throughout the day, but he was always too lost in his canvas to even notice me, which is good. Keeping distracted is good… for the moment.

  It’s now closing time, and after selling another few paintings, I close up shop. During the day Logan messaged me a few times which helped to make the day go quicker, but I couldn’t stop thinking about Matt and how he’s going with Jaci. I really want to message him to find out how he’s doing with her after last night, but at the same time, I don’t want to crowd him and ruin our new friendship by being that clingy friend. So I decide to not message and go in to check on Nate instead.

  Walking into the studio, Nate’s still busy painting, and I huff slightly. “Right you, go home!”

  He looks at me and raises his brow. “Excuse me?”

  “Get off your ass, and go the fuck home. You look like shit. You’re running yourself into the ground and to top it off you stink. Go home. Shower. Eat. Have a good sleep. Come back tomorrow refreshed to start again. This will all still be here I can assure you. I’m not taking no for an answer, Nate. I’ll kick you in the nuts if I have to.”

  He takes a deep breath. “Okay,” he says putting down his brush. “I’m pretty tired, so sleeping will be a plus.” He chuckles.

  “See, Alex knows best. Now get off your pretty little ass and get the fuck out of here. Robert and I will lock up. Go on… off you go, little rocker boy.”

  Nate stands and moves over to the sink, washes out his brushes and rinses his hands. “What did I do to deserve you?”

  “You don’t, you really don’t. I’m totally awesome and deserve a raise,” I tease.

  “I don’t even know what you’re being paid,” Nate replies.

  “Well, with what the gallery is making it’s enough to keep me on after my year’s payment is up. So you’re stuck with me. Can’t get rid of me that easily.”

  “I have a feeling I’d be lost without you, Alex. Even if the gallery weren't making money, I’d still keep you on,” he says with a smile and his eyes sparkle.

  My stomach does a little flutter and a tear forms in the corner of my eye, but I quickly blink it away—that’s the nicest thing he’s ever said to me.

  “Wow! Thank you… that’s so sweet of you to say.”

  “I mean it, Alex. You’re not just my employee, you’re my friend, and you’re helping me every day whether you know it or not. I couldn’t be here without you.” He walks over to me and gives me a gentle hug. I wrap my arms around him and cuddle him right back.

  “Ria’s an idiot,” I murmur.

  Nate chuckles as he pulls back from me. “I’m going home, see you tomorrow?”

  “Like clockwork. Have a good rest, Nate.” He walks out of the studio, and I exhale a loud sigh wondering why the fuck Ria’s letting a guy as fucking awesome as Nate just walk out of her life. He loves her so much, and he’d be so good for her and the baby if she just told him the truth. Stubborn woman!

  Doing a quick once over in the studio and a general tidy up, I glance over to see Robert cleaning the windows while he casually whistles to himself. God knows how he finds shit to clean all day, but he manages.

  “Hey Robert, you good to lock up for the night?”

  He peers over at me and nods, his mullet bobbing up and down making me wanna chuckle, but I resist. “Sure thing darlin’, you head on home. I’ll shut up shop.”

  I give him a quick wink, grab my keys and cell and head for my car. I feel like I need a little help, a little bit of guidance after my restless night and confusing day. So I head for the one place I know will make my mind a little clearer. To the one person who always makes me feel more at ease. He settles me without even having to try, and I love him for it.

  Pulling up at the Japanese Teppanyaki restaurant, I know he’s working at tonight. He always works this shift. Getting out of the car, the sun is fast disappearing in the sky bringing out the deep hues of the night sky, and there’s a slight chill in the air as the night takes hold. I love this time of day. There’s something calming about it.

  Making my way inside the restaurant I know so well, I head straight to his iron griddle. I smile wide taking in the bald Asian man dressed in a chef’s outfit. It’s a stark contrast to his usual orange monk attire, but hell, I’ve seen Whisper wearing many different things throughout the years. I take a seat at the table that’s currently only seating one other person.

  Whisper spots me with a sly smile but continues his conversation with the man at the table. “So, you see, I do your taxes at end of financial year for you, too. My business card at end of table. White one, not black one. Black one for Fung S
hui. I do that for you, too. Green card for dog grooming. You have dog, you sexy boy?” Whisper asks. The guy furrows his brows at Whisper, and slowly stands up and walks away to another table. I chuckle and shake my head, placing my hands together in front of me on the table as Whisper sighs. “Ah… his ju-ju bad anyway. I no help him. His demons too large, too large. Alexandria, it so good to see you. It been a while… you look sad, though… demons come back?”

  Placing my elbows on the table and my chin in my hands, I nod. “Yeah Whisper, I’m thinking too much.”

  He reaches out with his basting brush and slaps my hand leaving some kind of greasy sauce all over my skin. It makes me feel lighter as I giggle instantly. “You no think! Demons of past stay in past, Alex. Your parents, your gran, even Kyle, they all bad memories. You need to let go before you can move forward. You remember my mantra for when you feel demons coming?”

  “Cool, calm, collected?” I ask.

  “Yes. I tell my two new sexy boys this all the time. They get it now. I helping them with Fung Shui. They just like you, harbor demons. They both so sad. But oh God, so sexy, sexy boys.”

  I burst out laughing then lick the sauce from my hand while he continues to cook up something on the hot plate. “Whisper do you think I’ll ever be able to love someone again?”

  He stops his movements and looks me right in the eyes. “Oh Alex, my darling girl. The love you have is waiting for someone. Someone who need to be loved and doesn’t know who he looking for until you swoop in and surprise him. You are blessing and he will figure it out. Patience needed for your man, Alex. I see friendship before love. But your love… it be unbreakable. Trust it… trust him… trust yourself. A love unwavering like the ocean tide, stronger than a thousand currents.”

  I smirk and nod. His faith in love is always refreshing, but I’m not so sure it’s just something he says to try and make me feel better, or whether he truly believes it. “Thanks, Whisper. We need to find you someone to love.”