Fret (The Recoil Rock Series Book 4)

by K E Osborn

He laughs, shaking his head. “No honey, don’t worry, not a patched member. Just work for them in their parlor. No links to the club other than that.”

  “Holy shit,” I murmur and his massive grin falters slightly.

  “They’re not bad guys. They took in my mom when she wasn’t doing so well. I grew up with them. They treat me real good, but I’m not one of them, and they would never hurt anyone I cared about. They look out for family. They’re actually real good guys, Alex. You shouldn’t be scared of them ‘cause the law tells you to be. That’s very self-righteous of you.”

  I clear my throat and nod. That’s true. I shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. People judge me because of the way I look, I shouldn’t judge his friends because of the badge they’re given. I know bikers are all about family, it means everything to them.

  “Okay, fair call. Maybe I’ll come in and get a tatt from you one day.”

  “I’d love that, I really would.” His smile is genuine, and I can see that he truly loves his job and that slinging some ink into my skin would actually give him some real pleasure. I figure this is a safe zone, tattoos is something we both know about, so I think we can start there.

  “Can you show me some of your work?” I ask, and his face lights up.

  “Sure.” Logan pulls up his sleeve and rests his arm on the table showing me his forearm which is covered in a complete sleeve. The artwork contains every tattoo style imaginable, not artistic like mine, but very old school and mostly black and gray. Not my style, it has no vibrancy, no life. The portraits and symbols are very mishmash like someone threw random pieces together. It hasn’t been planned out at all. For an artist like me it’s kind of a nightmare, but of course, I would never say anything.

  “So, this right here…” He points to what I’m assuming is Donald Duck. It kind of looks like the character, but the likeness isn’t quite there. “This was the first tattoo I ever did. That’s why it’s so shit,” he says with a slight chuckle.

  I smile and nod. Ah, that explains it.

  “The first one you ever did was on yourself?”

  “Yeah, didn’t wanna fuck up anyone else’s skin, so I thought I better do it on myself. Thank fuck I did, ‘cause Donald is a piece of shit. But in my defense, I was only sixteen.”

  “You started tattooing at sixteen?”

  He nods. “Biker brat and all, I was working in the shop then. Being the tidy up lacky and shit. They were teaching me the basics until I became an apprentice, and actually grew my skills and became proficient at drawing and slinging ink. Now I do stuff like this.” Logan rolls up his sleeve a little higher to show me a portrait of a young boy, maybe in his teens. I furrow my brows trying to figure out if it’s a portrait of him or not. It looks like him, but not quite, but the portrait is amazing. So lifelike.

  “Wow! Logan, that’s beautiful…” I pause when I see the date underneath, and I run my finger over the obvious memorial. Swallowing hard, I look up at him to see his usual cheery smirk gone.

  “Carter… he was fourteen when he died. I just started working at the tattoo shop and wanted to do the portrait for him, but all I could manage was fucking Donald Duck and a shitty one at that.”

  Swallowing hard, I sigh, and move my hand from his arm to his hand and squeeze it gently in a show of support. “He was your friend?” I ask.

  He shakes his head. “My brother.”

  My chest tightens, and I lace my fingers in with his. “I’m so sorry.”

  He shrugs. “Lymphoma, bitch of a thing. Mom was…” he pauses for a second and changes direction. “Well, the club was there for us yet again, we’d be lost without them, Alex.”

  I nod once feeling so sad for him. Logan obviously puts on this ego trip to hide his pain. Poor guy.

  “Anyway, I waited, I drew, I studied, I got to be the best I could to give Carter the tribute he truly deserved.”

  “It’s beautiful, Logan, really. Your artistry is incredible. Especially compared to the Donald days,” I tease and he lets out a loud chuckle.

  “Thanks. It took me hours to make sure his likeness was perfect. It’s him… before the treatments started. Before the cancer really took hold. It’s how I want to remember him. He was a good kid.”

  I squeeze my hand in his as the waiter comes over. “Your menus for tonight. Have a look over them, and wave your hand in the air when you’re ready and I’ll come over and take your orders.”

  “Thank you so much,” I reply taking my menu and our hands separate as Logan takes his. I pull in a deep breath and look down at the menu thinking this all looks super fancy. I’d rather have Mexican any day.

  Logan chuckles slightly, and I glance up at him and smirk. “So, you ah… come here often, Alex?” he asks, and I grin.

  “Umm… honestly, I’ve never been here before. A friend recommended it to me, but the menu seems kinda fancy to me now.”

  He tilts his head and shrugs. “You only live once, right? Might be fancy but it’s worth a try. I mean it’s gotta be okay if rock stars like it here, right?”

  “Wait, what?”

  He tilts his head toward Matt and smirks. “Didn’t wanna say anything in case you totally ditched me for the famous guy over there in the room, but I’m pretty sure that’s the bassist from Recoil with the bombshell.”

  I sink into my seat slightly and sigh as Logan looks back to me and chuckles. “But hey, don’t worry, you’re way better looking than her. And, to be honest, Recoil kinda suck anyway. Their music is so… meh. It’s not hard enough for me, you know what I mean?” he asks, and I have to try really hard to not burst out laughing.

  I nod and continue to look over the menu, figuring if there’s some kind of steak I’ll order that to be safe.

  “God, I hope they have steak. I need some meat.” Logan looks up at me and opens his eyes wide. “Shit! You’re not a veggo are you?”

  “God no. I was just thinking the same thing. Steak sounds good.”

  “Ha, you and me…” he points to me and then himself, “… we’re gonna get along just fine, Alex,” he says throwing his hand into the air and looking for the waiter. He comes over and looks to Logan who smiles at me as if asking for my permission to speak. I giggle and nod as he straightens his shoulders and clears his throat. “Okay, so we’re not fancy people. We’re average run of the mill, so we don’t need bells and whistles. Just a couple of steaks, medium, with some awesome potatoes and veg. Can we get that?” he asks, and I giggle.

  The waiter looks to me, and I nod and smile. “Of course, sir. Anything else at all?”

  Logan looks to me so I blurt out, “And some garlic bread… with cheese!”

  Logan’s eyes widen, and he nods. “Hell yes, I’m loving this idea. And don’t be stingy with the garlic, if we’re gonna stink we may as well both reek.”

  The waiter nods and turns to walk off, but I gain his attention once more. “Oh, and one more thing…” he turns around and nods, “… can you bring us some beer, please? No more champagne.”

  “Yes ma’am,” he says as Logan chuckles, sits back in his chair and folds his arms over his chest.

  “Ah, Alex you know me so well already. I'm not sure if we should stay for the steak or whether I should just take you home right now.”

  I chuckle, rolling my eyes. “Easy tiger. Remember to keep your massive… ego in check.”

  He grins. “Kidding… ish.”

  I shake my head and glance over to Matt who’s looking at Jaci like he’s lost, deep in thought. I hope they’re getting along well.

  Jaci’s stunning, even more breathtaking than her photos online. Her face is flawless, her hair falls down along the side of her face perfectly, and her figure, well, she’s awe-inspiring. The dress she’s wearing is quite modest, but still very appealing and everything I want in the girl I’m looking for. She’s ticked so many boxes on my list just from a simple glance.

  When the waiter introduced us, her eyes went wide and she stared, and I stared right back. Jaci smiled a litt
le too widely as she took the flowers from me, shaking her head like she was astonished. Then she took a deep breath and chewed on her bottom lip.

  “Matt, I know now why you hid your profile picture and wouldn’t send me any others…” her voice was like a fucking angel, but her words cut me like a knife as I tensed up while she continued, “… you’re famous. You’re a… a rock star. You’re him aren’t you? You’re that guy from Recoil?”

  I was hoping she wouldn’t know me, and when she saw me, she wouldn’t immediately recognize who I was – but she didn’t, she knew, and she’s just like everyone else. Jaci reached out and grabbed my hand in an attempt to pull me toward the main restaurant.

  “We should sit out here with everyone,” she said, and I tensed up completely while shaking my head.

  “Umm… Jaci, I’d prefer not to. I’d rather spend the night with you… just you, no interruptions.”

  Her smile faltered but she agreed, and I turned leading her to our table feeling like maybe we’d done this all a little too soon.

  I realize I’m going over our meeting again in my mind, so I draw myself back into the present by pulling out Jaci’s seat for her.

  “Thank you,” she says batting her extra-long lashes at me.

  “You’re welcome. It’s nice to finally meet you.”

  She gushes. “It’s so amazing to meet you. I’ve always wanted to meet a celebrity.” She laughs like she’s super excited.

  I die a little more inside. On paper she’s perfect. She ticks off so many of my criteria, but in person, she’s falling a little short. “Can we maybe pretend like you’re meeting Matt, the guy from Lovepessimist.com, and not a celebrity?”

  She winces and nods. “Right, sorry Matt. I’m an idiot. I guess I had no idea it was you. You never gave me any clues at all. I’m in a bit of shock here.”

  I clear my throat. “I know, I apologize for not telling you. I just thought I’d show you in person rather than give you that information over a text message and worry that your intentions were to be with me only because of who I am and not because of the man that I am. If that makes sense?”

  She nods. “You’re worried I’d want to be with you for your fame only?”

  I shrug. “Kinda comes with the territory of being famous, Jaci.”

  She shrugs. “Well, I had no idea that you were famous, and I liked you before. Now I know you’re famous I like you even more.”

  Strike one!

  The waiter comes over with some bread, and I nod a simple thank you to him as I glance over to Alex who’s still sans Logan. I quickly check my watch to see, he’s well and truly late, and I wanna drop kick the bastard myself. If he’s stood her up, I won’t be happy especially after our little disagreement has completely unsettled me.

  “So, honestly, why does a guy like you have to go on a dating website?” Jaci asks, and I half-smile.

  “To try and date a woman who wants me, and not someone to fangirl over. It’s hard finding someone who wants to be with me… with just Matt, not the famous Matt from Recoil.”

  She swallows hard. “So, if I were to continue dating you, would you not want me to be in the spotlight with you?”

  “There would be times when you’d have to be, but for the most part, I’d want you out of the spotlight. Trust me, being famous isn’t what it’s cracked up to be,” I answer her as honestly as I can while glancing over to the security team standing by the wall.

  She looks up taking them in and lets out a stifled laugh. “Those guards, they’re with you?” she asks, and I nod.

  She sits up taller. “I think that’s cool. Your own personal bodyguards wherever you go. Being in the spotlight… I think I’d love this life, Matt. I think you’d be great for me.”

  Strike two!

  And we haven’t even ordered our meals yet.

  The waiter comes over handing us each a menu. “Your menus for tonight. Have a look over them and just wave your hand in the air when you’re ready and I’ll come over and take your orders.”

  “Cheers,” I say, and Jaci opens her menu with a grin that hasn’t left her face since we met.

  “Wow! This place is fancy. Is this what it’ll be like for us… going to fancy places? Driving fast cars. Living a life of luxury?” Her smile is so wide now it’s ridiculous.

  I scratch the top of my head and don’t answer because I simply don’t know how to reply.

  She runs her finger down the menu making a humming sound, and then she gasps. “Oh Matt, is there a set budget for tonight? Oh, what am I saying, of course there’s not. You’re a massive rock star, you can afford anything on the menu, right?” she asks.

  I simply slump my shoulders, I mean of course I was going to pay for her dinner but the way she’s talking? I mean fuck. Really?

  “Ah, yeah, sure, anything you want,” I answer and glance over to Alex, and her still empty table. My chest aches for her as she looks completely lost. I want to go over there or gain her attention somehow, but Jaci throws up her hand calling over the waiter interrupting my thoughts.

  I glance to the waiter as he arrives with his notepad. I haven’t even had a chance to look at the menu as Jaci begins ordering.

  “We’ll have a dozen oysters for entrée… aphrodisiac and all,” she says with a giggle.

  I grimace, glancing back to Alex as I see her stand up and start to walk out. My entire body tenses and I fight my feelings of wanting to go to her. She must be feeling like crap, her date hasn’t shown, and I’m here with Jaci ordering aphrodisiacs while she walks out. I feel like shit and start to stand.

  “Jaci, I—”

  But as I talk the waiter walks in with, who I’m guessing is Logan. So I stall my actions.

  Jaci looks at me and raises her eyebrow. “Yes?”

  I clear my throat feeling relief flooding through me. “Sorry, I ah… don’t know what I’m ordering,” I say and she waves her hand through the air.

  “Oh, never mind, I’ll order for you. I’ll have the lobster and prawn linguini, and Matt will have the steak tartare.”

  “Very well,” the waiter says and walks off with the menus. I shrug not knowing what steak tartare is, but it has steak in the name so that’s good enough for me.

  I watch as Logan walks in kind of ignoring Alex, and heads straight for the table pouring himself a glass of champagne. He doesn’t even offer her a glass. What a douche.

  “Matt… Earth to Matt,” Jaci says clicking her fingers in front of my face.

  I blink rapidly and look back to Jaci giving her my full attention. “Sorry what?”

  “You were a million miles away. Where did you go?”

  I glance back over to their table to see Logan kissing his bicep. I gawk at him, the guy’s obviously a serious dick. She has to see that.

  “Matt!”

  “Shit, sorry, I’m here.” I look back to Jaci and take a sip of my champagne. “How was your morning?”

  “Oh, it was amazing. I spent my time being pampered and preened for tonight. So I went to the salon and got my hair and nails done. See…” Jaci thrusts her hands across the table for me to check out her red tipped nails. I nod and smile—they look nice, I suppose. They’re just nails. I don’t really care about that kind of stuff, but if it makes Jaci happy, to keep herself looking lovely, then good for her.

  “They look great, Jaci. Actually, you look beautiful tonight, I have to say.”

  Her beautiful eyes look up at me sparkling in the dim mood lighting. “Thank you, that means a lot. I feel like we’ve really bonded over the short time we’ve known each other, Matt.”

  “Yeah, I certainly felt a connection with you over our messages,” I say honestly.

  “Well, knowing who you are now, doesn’t change anything for me. Just know that. If anything, it makes everything far more exciting, more entertaining. You’re way more interesting now, Matthew Levine. A rock star is better than the humble entrepreneur you said you were.”

  Sighing, I sink into my chair.
<
br />   Strike Three!

  Damn it.

  As much as I like Jaci, I can see my fame is going to be a thing for her. On paper she’d have worked, but in person, she’s ruined it all.

  “Tell me more about you. Let’s not talk about me tonight.” I want her to start talking about her world, which I know she’ll get lost in. I don’t want to go round in circles about my fame or my life. It won’t get us anywhere. So we’ll talk about her, or more like she can talk and I will listen.

  “Okay, well, as you know my daddy is a breeder of horses and…” she starts talking, and almost instantly I tune out. I can’t help it. I know it’s mean, I know it’s rude, but I can’t listen. I checked out of this date at Strike Two. Jaci has ruined the night already, and I’m majorly disappointed. But now as I zone out my eyes can’t help but wander over to Alex’s table to see her and Logan seeming to be more comfortable with each other. They’re sitting closer, and his arm is on the table, his sleeve rolled up, and she’s looking at his forearm in awe. Obviously checking out his tattoos.

  I grit my teeth watching her as her fingers trail along his arm stroking his skin. My chest heaves slightly, and I’m not really sure why.

  I hate Logan.

  He was late.

  He was rude to her when he arrived.

  Logan doesn’t get to win her over with some flashy ink, she’s better than that. He says something, I’m not sure what, but Alex reacts moving her hand to embrace his. My nostrils flare watching her squeeze his hand as if she’s giving him comfort. I have no idea what they’re talking about, but after the way he treated her, he should be comforting her not the other way round.

  He’s a fucking scammer!

  I just want to scream, He’s playing you, Alex!

  She’s a strong woman and can handle herself, I know that, but I’ll be here if she needs me.

  Suddenly, her fingers lace with his and just like that they’re holding hands. My stomach sinks and a small gasp of air leaves my mouth as I watch her looking at him with such sad eyes. I’m glad they seem to be hitting it off, if that’s what’s happening. He better be the right guy for her, or I swear, I will tear him limb from limb if he hurts or treats her badly.