Barbecue & Brooms (A Southern Charms Cozy Mystery Book 4)

by Bella Falls

  All too soon, my grandmother dismissed him. “And now comes the fun part. We have many thanks to give for the whole reason why we’ll be attracting so many to our small event, making it extra special by putting together incredible days of broom racing. Please give a warm welcome to former champion, Mr. Billy Ray Dobber.”

  Lee exploded out of his chair a few seats down from me, whistling and hollering the loudest. Several people stood up in front of me, blocking my view of the retired broom racer walking up to the front of the stage. I shifted from side to side until I could see him, and caught the short and stocky celebrity winking at my grandmother. Danged if the old woman didn’t blush and bow her head in embarrassment.

  “Um, Lav, can you tell what color Nana’s aura is right now?” I asked, mortified to guess the answer.

  My friend giggled beside me, but Billy Ray stirred up the crowd into a roaring frenzy when he introduced his friends. “It’s been a pleasure getting to know all of you, and I want to thank you for the kindness you’ve shown me since I’ve moved here. And there are a few others I’ve convinced to come this weekend that deserve your praise as well. Please put your hands together again for my fellow racers, starting Mr. Larger-than-life himself, Roddy ‘Big Mouth’ Bass.”

  A man almost as tall as Mason, but as round in the belly as my troll friend Horatio, waddled up the stairs to take the stage. He wiped sweat from his brow and waved at the crowd. “Now, I heard a couple of your teams squabblin’ over how they think they’re gonna win. They don’t call me Big Mouth for nothin’, and I’m here to tell ya that I brought my own team all the way from Texas to burn the competition. Y’all heard it from me first.” He took off his cowboy hat and waved it around, pointing at a group in the back who’d started singing, “Deep In The Heart of Texas.”

  Billy Ray patted the robust racer on the shoulder and moved him over. “We’ll have to see about that, buddy. You might get some stiff competition from our other friend who came to us all the way from Kansas City, Mr. Franklin ‘Fireball’ Irving.”

  A shorter but cocky man strutted to stand next to Big Mouth. “I know I might get drummed out of town when I say this, but I also brought a barbecue team with me, and our KC sauce will put all of you to shame.”

  “Boys, boys, let’s not start a fight,” said Billy Ray, stepping in between them. “We’ve got one more person to introduce, and let me tell you, it took a lot of convincing to get this gem of a racer to travel all the way here. The biggest champion of them all with a record-breaking amount of wins under belt as well as a trailblazer in her own right, y’all better stay on your feet for the lady, Ms. Rita Ryder.”

  An older woman with silver gray hair cut in a fashionable short style joined the other retired racers. I waited for her to say something sassy, but she only grinned and offered a curt wave.

  “Whew, girl, it’s been a hot minute since I’ve seen you,” declared Roddy.

  Billy Ray addressed all of us, pointing at the collection of racers. “Y’all, it’s been a long time since all of us have been together in one place. The years have been kinder to some of us than others.”

  “Much kinder,” agreed Rita, daring to pat Roddy’s bulbous stomach.

  He opened his big mouth and uttered a booming laugh. “You’ll still eat my dust when we race, darlin’.”

  Rita narrowed her eyes. “Aw, you’re gettin’ old and dotty in the head. I forget, which one of us has more trophies?”

  Franklin stepped out of the way of the arguing two and took out a flask from his pocket, sipping from it while he watched the verbal sparring. Nana joined all the racers at the front of the stage, holding up her hands to stop the trash talking.

  “Now, now, save the competition for the actual competition.” She waited for the noise to stop, giving one of her famous glares to Mr. Bass, who shut his mouth with a snap. “And for those of you entering the amateur races, we’ve decided that the winner of the field will get an automatic entry into the professional exhibition race at the very end. Who knows, one of our very own might take home a trophy.”

  Franklin pocketed his flask and clapped politely while Billy Ray leaned in and spoke into my grandmother’s ear. My own jaw dropped, and I watched with suspicion when she whispered something back to the racer, making him turn a shade of pink.

  “He’s flirting with her,” I accused out loud.

  Lavender patted my arm. “Looks like she’s givin’ just as good as she’s gettin’.”

  I wrinkled my nose. “I don’t even want to think about the double meaning of that.” If only I didn’t have to make the rounds to check in all the barbecue teams, I could corner my grandmother and find out what in Sam Hill was going on.

  Nana held up her hands. “We all know how important it is for this weekend to go well. Let’s do our very best to give people a good time and have fun while doin’ it.” She dismissed the meeting with the slam of her gavel.

  I wanted to make my way to the stage, but several others had the same idea, trying to get close to the racers for autographs and pictures. Lee pushed me back into my seat when he scooted by with barely an apology, too excited for the chance to talk to some of his heroes.

  Not wanting to get caught up in the chaos, I followed the girls outside to wait. “Now, who all’s staying with me?”

  Lily, Lavender, and Alison Kate raised their hands at once.

  Ooh, if my baker friend had changed her mind to bunk at my place, we were gonna get to eat some good treats. “You’re not staying at Lee’s?”

  Alison Kate clucked her tongue. “And attempt to put up with all that?” She pointed inside. “I don’t know whether to be embarrassed by my man’s enthusiasm or happy for him. With all the racers here this weekend, I’m not sure our own wedding will be able to compete on the same level.”

  “Don’t worry, Ali Kat. He’ll forget all about brooms and racing the second he lays eyes on you in your wedding dress,” I reassured her. “Plus, I think we’ll have a lot of fun with all of us bunking at my place. Y’all know there’s plenty of room.”

  Mason appeared at the top of the stairs, glancing around until he found me. He nodded at the girls and pointed at his watch, reminding me of my duty.

  “I gotta go check in the teams. I’ll come home after that,” I promised.

  Lily nudged her cousin. “And then you’ll explain to us why you’ve got a goofy grin on your face and what it has to do with the detective.”

  I gaped at her in surprise. “I do not have a grin on my face.”

  My friend pointed behind me. “Mason’s waving at you.”

  My head whipped around to check, but the detective was talking to Zeke and definitely not waving. All of my girlfriends broke into laughter at my expense.

  “See,” snickered Lily. “Goofy grin.”

  Without a second thought, I aimed a stinging hex at her hiney and let it loose. She squealed and rubbed the spot, still laughing at me. “That right there proves I’m right.”

  Lavender grabbed her cousin and Alison Kate. “Have fun,” she sang out, leading them away.

  My heart fluttered at the thought of what kind of fun the detective might have in mind if we managed to have another private moment later. Shaking my head, I did my best to ignore my giddiness and get down to business.

  Chapter Three

  Names of teams and their members filled my clipboard of forms, and I still had two more rows to register.

  “Tucker’s outdone himself with this event,” I admitted under my breath. A small bit of pride for my cousin’s husband rose in my chest.

  Mason stopped talking to one of the team captains and joined me. “What was that?”

  I showed him the copious entry forms and full pages of names I’d collected. “I’m admitting that what we thought was going to be a small event might end up being a bigger success.”

  “Which is good on one hand,” the detective agreed.

  His response caught my attention. “And on the other?”

  Mason’
s brow furrowed. “Bigger event, bigger problems, or at least the potential for something to go wrong increases. I’m glad we added a few extra volunteers to the patrols. And I should get Flint to add more people at the entrance.” He took out his spell phone and typed out a quick message to the gnome.

  A loud boom that shook the ground interrupted us, and a fiery ball lit up the sky followed by a ton of whoops and hollers. We hurried over to the next row, working our way through the gathered crowd of laughing idiots.

  “What happened?” Mason asked.

  Roddy Bass guffawed even louder. “Now you done did it. You got the lawman’s feathers all ruffled, Fireball. Guess they didn’t know you lived up to your nickname in more ways than just speed.” The boisterous racer clapped the smaller one on the back.

  After witnessing what he could do with his magic, I couldn’t call the ex-racer Franklin anymore. Fireball Irving cackled loud and long, waving a bottle of alcohol around. “My deepest apologies, but my old friend here claimed I couldn’t even light a candle anymore. I showed everybody I ain’t down and out yet.” He winked at me. “Care to taste a little Fireball, young lady?”

  Mason shouted in protective alarm, but I took care of myself, understanding what the harmless inebriated man meant. “No thanks, I’m not a huge fan of cinnamon whiskey.”

  The bigger racer snatched the bottle from the other. “Why not? It tastes like Christmas.” He took a long swig, swallowed it, and started singing “Jingle Bells” at the top of his lungs, getting louder until a few watching the spectacle joined in at his insistence.

  I shook my head. “Not very convincing, Mr. Bass. Now, who here is on your team?”

  “Call me Big Mouth. Everybody does. And those four idiots are part of Team Texas Hexes, the makers of the best brisket that’ll make you wanna slap yo’ mama.” He gestured his pudgy finger at a group of quieter men surrounding a crackling campfire while wiggling his eyebrows at me.

  Mason frowned again but stepped away to get the rest of the crowd to disperse, and I picked up the entry form and registered all the names for the rowdy group from Texas. It took great effort to finish my job with all of the bad jokes the retired racers kept exchanging.

  “I thought you two were enemies,” I said. “At least that’s how it looked when you were on stage.”

  Fireball took the bottle back and swallowed another sip. “It’s all for show. That’s what the people expect of us. But me and Big Mouth go way back. While we’re old rivals, we’ve been great friends all this time. But I mean every word of smack talk when I say that our Kansas City barbecue will make the rest of you weep.”

  “And what about Ms. Ryder? Does she have a team entering the competition, too?” I asked.

  Both men slapped each other on the back and tried to catch their breath from too much laughter. Big Mouth hit Fireball so hard drops of whiskey splashed out of the bottle.

  “The woman is a nomad with no hometown anything. She wouldn’t know good barbecue from bad,” the bigger racer exclaimed.

  Fireball’s expression sobered. “Plus, the only team Rita’s on is her own. She never did go in for much socializing back in the day. Heck, neither one of us have heard or seen hide nor tail of her for years. Mud Dobber’s got some mighty strong pull to get her here.”

  At the mention of Billy Ray’s nickname, I recalled the urgency to find out just what was going on with him and Nana. But judging on their unsteady sway as they hugged each other around the shoulders and sang an old country song out of tune, I wouldn’t get any good information from the pair in front of me anyway.

  “Good luck to both of you,” I called out, finding Mason and working my way to another campsite.

  Mason remained tight lipped and watchful while I picked up registrations but he didn’t leave my side. I couldn’t take too much of his silence and sullen mood, so I bumped him with my hip. “What’s wrong with you?”

  He raked his fingers through his hair and blew out a breath. “I know you can take care of yourself. I know it, but I can’t help but feel protective. And I don’t want to go all caveman on you. You’re a strong woman, Charli. It’s one of the things I lo—I mean, I like about you.”

  His admission stunned me. I took his hand and pulled him over to a more private and inconspicuous spot where we couldn’t be seen. “You know, sometimes I forget you didn’t grow up in the South, being trained as a gentleman to believe that we women are wilting flowers in need of a man’s strength.”

  “You are no wilting flower.” Mason took my hand in his. “It’s not easy letting someone talk to you like that.”

  “But you let me handle it anyway, which means you made an effort against your instincts. That’s kind of…” I trailed off.

  “Sweet?”

  I shook my head. “No, hot.” I stood on my tiptoes and brushed my lips against his once. Twice.

  With a muffled grunt, Mason grabbed me around my hips and pulled me against his body, crushing his mouth against mine.

  A loud explosion and a bright light burst behind my closed eyes. Whoa, he must be one heckuva kisser to ignite that kind of fire.

  The detective pulled away with a regretful groan. “Seriously, I may have to restrain Fireball if he can’t stop doing that.” He grumbled something under his breath that sounded like a very nasty curse if he’d put any intent into it.

  The moment was well and truly over, and I patted him on the arm in sympathy for the both of us. “Why don’t you go give them an official warning, and I’ll try and finish registering the last few teams.”

  “All right. And then I’ll walk you back to your place.” Mason’s tone held the authority of a warden in it.

  I didn’t want him to forget what had made me kiss him in the first place. “You can accompany me on my way to my house because I so desire it, not because I need you to escort me, right?”

  He picked up on my hint and shot me a sexy side grin. “Absolutely. See you in a few.” Leaving me alone, he walked off in the direction of the retired racers’ row. I may or may not have taken a few seconds to admire his backside as he went.

  I did my best not to fangirl too hard over Sam Ayden. No doubt my vampire roommate would give me no amounts of heck over my eagerness to meet the barbecue master when I officially registered the Fiery Fangs. Then again, if he gave me too much grief, I’d remind Beau that I didn’t have to let him back into the house after this weekend, since he’d given up his room for my girlfriend sleepover while he stayed with one of his teammates.

  Lee jumped up from his rickety chair to give me a hasty hug when I arrived at our other home team’s area. “Charli, can you believe it? The Mud Dobber is gonna let me be on his pit crew this weekend.”

  “That’s great,” I exclaimed, a little more concerned that Alison Kate’s worry about whether or not her engagement could stand up to her fiancé’s excitement over the racers was warranted. “Ali Kat will be so proud of you.”

  My talented friend’s eyes widened. “Sweet honeysuckle iced tea, I forgot to call her.”

  “Well, get on that spell phone of yours lickety-split. She’s staying with me, in case you’ve forgotten about everything else going on,” I chided.

  Lee bit his lip in humility. “I know, I know. I promise to do better.” His eyes lit up when Alison Kate answered. “Hey, sweetums. You’ll never guess what’s going on.” He walked away from me, and I thanked my lucky stars I didn’t have to hear any make up mushiness.

  The rest of Lucky’s team greeted me by yelling my name in unison, making me feel like a minor celebrity. The leprechaun offered me a tall frothy pint of beer. “On the house, darlin’ girl.”

  With regret, I turned him down. “Since I’m a part of the event committee, I can’t accept a free gift from one of the teams. It might look like a bribe when you guys take home the prize for first place.”

  Henry stood up and cheered, offering me an enthusiastic but a little tipsy high five. Steve pulled him back down to his seat. Horatio closed the lid of the sm
oker and ambled over. “Greetings and salutations.”

  I freely hugged the massive troll. “What in the world are you doin’ here?”

  Lucky raised his glass in honor of his friend. “You’d be more than surprised how much knowledge our friend here brings to our team. He’s given us more of an advantage than you might think.”

  Horatio bent his head in embarrassment, letting his shaggy hair fall across his face. “Tis only a few special ingredients of which I may have enlightened my fellow grilling enthusiasts.”

  “Magical ingredients?” I goaded.

  The troll had been the one to introduce William Shakespeare to the real faerie royalty of Titania and Oberon, allowing the playwright a glimpse into the magical world. No doubt there were great depths to the knowledge swimming around in Horatio’s giant noggin.

  Flint’s brother Clint held up a hand to stop the troll from revealing anything more. “Now, that would be telling and spoiling our advantage.

  Lucky pulled the registration sheet from his pocket and handed it to me. I wrote down the names of those enjoying many gulps of the leprechaun’s brew. “So Lucky’s Seven. I’ve got six names here.”

  “The last one will be mine.” Billy Ray appeared at the edge of the circle. “I figured if the others were entering their own teams, then I’d better follow suit.”

  “You always were one to join things,” accused the woman standing next to him. Rita Ryder surveyed the group. “Although between the two local teams, I think this might be your best bet.”

  “Because I’m not a vampire?” Billy Ray asked.

  Rita allowed herself to smile. “No, because I’m betting that this team will come out on top.” She earned a loud cheer from each member of Lucky’s Seven. The leprechaun thrust a glass of beer into her hand for the compliment.

  She took a couple of sips but handed it back. “Good luck to all of you.”

  “You’re not staying?” Lucky asked.

  Rita shook her head. “Unlike some of my former rivals, I’ve always liked to get a good night’s sleep when I’m about to compete.”