by E. C. Bell
Oh.
I looked down at the pill, and then up at her. She was on James’s bad guy list, and she knew I knew it. She also had access to my medication. And this capsule looked odd, compared to the others.
“I think I’ll take my chances,” I said, and dropped the bright pink capsule on the floor.
“For heaven’s sake,” Nurse Melodie said. “If you don’t take it, you’ll probably need an enema tomorrow. You understand?”
Oh God, I sure did, but I was still not ready to take my chances on the capsule on the floor. “I’ll talk to Dr. Parkerson about whether I need that or not, when she gets back,” I said. “In a couple of days, right?”
“After the weekend. Yes,” she said. Then she shrugged. “Fine. Don’t take it.” She bent and picked the capsule up and tucked it in her pocket. “But take the rest. Now.”
I took the remainder of the pills, split them into two piles and swallowed them with the glass of tepid water. Then, I lay down obediently when she pointed at the bed.
“Housecoat,” she said. “Take it off.”
“Oh. Yeah.” I’d forgotten the stupid housecoat. Ripped it off and tossed it near the end of my bed. She clicked her tongue and picked it up. Folded it and placed it carefully in its place.
“You must remember to look after your things,” she said.
“Sorry,” I mumbled. I lay back down and pulled the covers to my chin. “I’ll remember tomorrow. Promise.”
“Good girl,” she said, and a small hint of her smile finally came back, softening her face. “And you don’t have to worry about Mr. Rafferty,” she said. “I’ll make sure he leaves you alone.”
I didn’t actually find any of that very comforting. The only thing that gave me any comfort at all was the fact that there was still a camera in my room, so if he did come in here and try anything, there would be proof. Not even Nurse Melodie could ignore proof. Could she?
“She isn’t going to stop him, you know,” a voice whispered. “She doesn’t care about you at all.”
I frowned. I thought I recognized the voice, but when I looked around the room, there was no one but the confused-looking nurse.
“Is there a problem?” she asked.
“No,” I said. “No problem here."
There was, of course. I was hearing a voice without seeing a body, and that was not good. I needed the nurse to leave so I could find out what more I was dealing with. But that wasn’t going to happen until she thought I was actually going to sleep. I pulled the blanket back up and closed my eyes.
“See?” I said. “I’m almost asleep already.”
“Good,” she said. “I’ll come and check on you later.”
“Wonderful,” I muttered. Hoped she didn’t catch me at something embarrassing like trying to talk a shy ghost into showing herself. If, indeed, that was what this was.
I heard the door click shut and realized that I’d closed my eyes. Tried to force them open, but it was like there two-ton weights on each lid.
“Don’t fight it,” the voice whispered. “You need your sleep.”
To be honest, the voice sounded a bit like my sister Rhonda’s. But that was ridiculous. Rhonda was still in Fort McMurray in her McMansion.
“Who are you?” I said.
“You know,” the voice whispered back.
And then, I recognized the voice. I fought to open my eyes, but they refused. “Mom?” I said. “Is that you?”
“Yes, it is,” she said. “Back from the dead.”
My heart jumped. It was my mother’s voice, but that was an odd thing for her to say. No one ever came back from the dead, and Mom knew that better than anyone else. But I didn’t care. It was wonderful to hear her again.
“I thought you were gone,” I said. “You know, forever.”
“No,” my mother’s voice said. “Just waiting for the right moment to return. You need some help, so I’m back to give it to you.”
I struggled to open my eyes but they refused to comply. So, I lay in the dark and listened to my mother as she told me what I should do.
When she told me my best bet was just to kill myself, my stomach knotted and my heart sank. I wasn’t dealing with my mother. I also knew that I was asleep. My mother wasn’t in my room. She hadn’t come back to help me, and she never would. I was really, truly on my own in this place.
AND THEN, I was at the ball diamond, eating peanuts. Once more, with feeling.
Jasper:
More Lessons. What, Am I Back at School?
PHILLIPA AND I practiced moving things until I could barely move.
“It’s time to stop,” I said. Well, mumbled, really, I was so exhausted. “Come on, Phillipa. We can practice later. After some rest.”
“I don’t need rest,” she said, and attacked another post on the increasingly dilapidated looking wooden fence. “You go. I’ll be fine.”
As a matter of fact, she did look fine. Calm and together and better than I’d ever seen her. No more yellow around her, and just a touch of red. Just enough anger to keep her focussed.
“Are you sure?” I asked.
“Absolutely,” she said. Before she finished the word, I’d turned toward Building One, content to put my feet up and rest until group. I looked back once, just before I entered the building, and could swear I saw chunks of wood flying everywhere. Julius better watch out, I thought. Phillipa is definitely prepared to do some damage.
Franklin was at his usual spot by the window. I thought about going over and saying hi, but if I did, he’d want to chat. Might even want to teach me more damnable sign language. I knew it was important that I learn if I wanted to keep speaking to Marie, but I was so tired I creeped past him to the far door. I was almost through, almost free, when he caught sight of me.
“Jasper!” he yelled. “Good to see you! Ready for another session?”
I stopped, wishing I could pretend I was deaf too, so I could just walk away. “Hi, Franklin,” I said. “A quick lesson sounds good.”
He ran through the alphabet as soon as I made it back to his end of the room. Surprisingly, I recognized a letter or two. More, actually. I called them out as he signed, and when we got to the end, he smiled.
“Not bad, boy,” he said. “Now you.”
I started working through the alphabet and remembered even more of the letters. The best part was, he only looked confused a couple of times, which meant I was close.
“That’s good,” he said. “Real good. You been practicing, haven’t you?”
As a matter of fact, I had not, but I nodded enthusiastically.
“Looks like you’re a little brighter than I thought,” he said, which didn’t make me feel so good, but I decided not to take offence.
“Thanks,” I said, trying to keep the sarcasm from my voice. As if he could hear it.
“You’re welcome,” he said. “Now, let’s talk for a while, shall we?”
His fingers flew and for a moment I felt completely lost. Then I caught an “e” and a “d” and suddenly, I was catching most of what he was trying to sign to me. “I am bored past death,” I said. “That’s what you signed. Right?”
“Right,” he said, and laughed delightedly. “That’s good, Jasper. Real good. Now you.”
I thought for a moment, then laboriously signed, “This is harder than I thought it would be.” I was pretty sure I’d spelled a couple of the words wrong, but Franklin took good guesses and got it mostly right. That made me feel pretty good. Then he dropped his hands and smiled at me.
“You’re doing great,” he said. “Have you been teaching any of this to Marie?”
That stopped me cold. We hadn’t had a lesson yet, not one that really counted, anyhow.
“She’s been busy,” I said. “Besides, didn’t you say you were teaching her how to do this?”
He frowned. “Yeah, but it’s been hard to catch her awake. You see her all the time, and you’re doing good enough that you should be able to help her with her lessons until I get
back to see her again. All right?”
I dearly wanted to go and rest, but figured I shouldn’t waste the sign language lesson, so I decided to go see Marie before I forgot it all again. I figured she’d still be asleep, but I now had a way to wake her up. After all, I hadn’t just been practicing sign language. I’d practiced touching the living side, and I bet I could touch her. For real.
MARIE’S ROOM WAS dark. She looked like a pile of clothes lying under the covers on the bed. Then I heard her speak. Moan, really.
“Mom,” she said. “Mom, save me.”
She was having a nightmare, and it looked like a doozie. Her face was covered in sweat, and her eyes rolled crazily under her eyelids, watching whatever horror was unfolding in front of her.
“It’s gonna get me,” she mumbled, and thrashed under the blankets like they weighed a ton. “Help me, Mom! Help!”
Her voice was rising. She’d be screaming in a minute, and that would bring staff. So I reached out a finger and concentrated. Touched her arm, and then poked, hard.
“Marie,” I said. “Wake up.”
“Ow,” she muttered, pushing weakly at my finger. Well, pushing through my finger, actually. But I had her attention.
“Marie,” I said, louder. “You gotta wake up.”
“Mom?” she said. I couldn’t tell if she was awake or still asleep. “Mom, is that you?”
“No,” I said. “It’s Jasper. Come on, wake up. You’re having a nightmare.”
And then she was back. She pushed her hair from her sweaty cheek, and took a deep breath in, like she was trying to remember how to breathe again. “Jasper?” she finally said. “What time is it?”
How the hell do I know, I thought. I’m dead. Time doesn’t matter anymore.
“The sun isn’t up yet,” I said. “It’s pretty early.”
“Damn,” she muttered. “I was dreaming. I can’t keep my eyes open.”
“It’s the meds,” I said. “Sit up. That’ll help.”
She pulled herself to sitting more or less upright, and took another deep breath in. She let it out slowly, and then looked at me. “Why do you keep cutting in and out like that?” she asked. “It’s hard to see you.”
That didn’t sound good. “Can you hear me?” I asked.
“Sort of,” she said. “Like you’re in another room. And when your body disappears, I can’t hear you either.” She frowned. “It’s really aggravating.”
“No doubt,” I said. This new development was especially unnerving, because if she couldn’t see me and couldn’t hear me, then all methods of communication were really cut off. “I was going to give you a sign language lesson,” I said. “But I don’t know how much good it will do, if you can’t see me.”
“Just give me a second,” she said. “I just need to wake up a bit more.” She grabbed the glass on her bedside table, filled it with water, and then downed it. Glanced at me, frowned, and poured another glass of water. Sipped it and sighed.
“I don’t know if this is helping or not,” she said. “But give it a go anyhow.”
“Are you sure?” I asked.
“Yeah,” she said. “Yeah. I can see you a little better now. It should be all right.”
I was pretty sure she was lying, but tried signing the letter “a”.
“This is ‘a,’” I said.
“What?” she asked. “I missed that. What did you say?”
Damn, this was getting bad. I looked around the room and saw the broken pencil and sheaf of papers on her dresser. Maybe I could use my new-found skill to make this go better.
I walked over and picked up the pencil. Carried it to her bed and dropped it beside her. Then I went back and picked up a sheet of the paper and deposited it on the bed beside the pencil.
“We’ll use this,” I said. “If you can’t hear me.”
“How did you do that?” she asked, frowning, then shook her head. “Never mind. I thought I told you to quit practicing that stuff.”
“Good thing I didn’t,” I said lightly. “Otherwise we’d have no way to communicate.”
“What?” she asked.
I picked up the pencil and scrawled on the page. I pushed the point of the pencil through the paper once, and the lines I drew were squiggly as hell, but when I finally finished, there was a fairly serviceable “a” on the piece of paper beside Marie’s hand.
She squinted at it, then reached over and turned on the lamp. Looked at the page, and then up at me. “You’ve been practicing,” she said.
I shrugged, and signed the letter “a”, then pointed at the sheet.
“A,” she said. “That was the sign for ‘a.’ Right?”
I nodded, then pointed at her. She awkwardly signed “a” back at me. I nodded again, and then smiled. This just might work.
But then, she frowned, and looked around. “Where are you?” she asked. “I can’t see you at all.”
“I’m right here,” I said, but she didn’t respond to my voice either. So, I was gone to her, and she hadn’t even had her morning meds yet. I was going to lose her if I didn’t do something, and quickly.
I grabbed the pencil, concentrated as hard as I could and painstakingly drew out a short sentence.
No more meds, I wrote. She read the note, then frowned up at the room.
“How the hell am I supposed to do that?” she asked. “They’re pretty darned pushy about the whole finish your meds thing.”
“Work it out,” I said, even though I knew she couldn’t hear me anymore.
“I’ll work it out,” she said. “Somehow.”
“Good,” I said, and then scrawled the word on the paper.
She read it and nodded. Then she picked up the sheet, and tore it into two pieces, and then four, then smaller and smaller. She dropped the confetti into the garbage can by her bed, and then got under the covers.
“I better go back to sleep,” she whispered. “Before they come in to bring me my morning meds. Which I have to not take, somehow, so I can keep talking to you.” She sighed and shook her head. “Seems like a lot of work,” she whispered. Then she closed her eyes and quickly fell asleep.
I wondered if she’d remember anything of my visit. Hoped she would, because she had to remember to not take her meds. Otherwise, I’d lose her to the living, and we’d never be able to stop whoever was killing us.
And I’d lose any chance I’d have to keep talking to her, too. And that would have been an even bigger drag.
Marie:
Are We Having Fun Yet?
I WAS FIGHTING my way out of the third nightmare of the night when I heard the lock turn and the door to my room open.
“Get up,” the voice that was definitely not my mother’s whispered. “You’re in danger."
“Screw you,” I muttered, but the voice had done its job. I was no longer trapped in the nightmare of the demon who was trying to pull me out from under my bed in my room in our old house. My heart was still beating hard, though, and when I pulled my hand out from under the blankets, they shook.
A demon? Why was I dreaming about a demon?
“Ah, you’re awake. Glad to see it. You and I have to have a little chat.”
My eyes flew open, and I forgot all about the demon in my dreams, because I had a real demon in my room.
“Rafferty,” I said. “What are you doing in here? Nurse Melodie said you’re not supposed to come near me.”
I was talking too much, I could just tell, but I needed to do something—anything—so that I could really wake up and face the man standing by the now closed door of my room.
“I had to work a double shift,” he said. “So here I am.” He smiled. “And now that good old Nurse Melodie is gone for the day, I can pretty much go anywhere I want to, can’t I?”
“Stay away from me,” I said, but he ignored me, walked up to my bed, smiled that smarmy smile that made me want to kick his teeth in, and grabbed me by the arm.
“You and I need to have a talk, little lady,” he said. “S
omewhere not here.”
He glanced over at the small black dot on the far wall, and then looked back at me meaningfully. “You understand?” he asked.
“I understand completely,” I said, and batted fairly ineffectively at his hand. “Quit touching me.”
“Not this time,” he said, and grabbed me by the shoulder. “You’re coming with me, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”
“No!” I cried. “Leave me alone.”
He pulled me upright like I didn’t weigh a darned thing, and then he grabbed my housecoat. “Put it on,” he said.
“No.” I knocked it from his hand, and it fluttered to the floor. He sighed, like I was really being a pain in the butt, and retrieved it. He grabbed my arm and twisted it up behind my back until the pain was exquisite and I screamed.
“I told you to put your housecoat on,” he said again. “Do as you’re told.”
He loosened his grip on my arm, and the pain lessened, but did not stop. He’d hurt me again if I didn’t do as he told me. He didn’t care about the camera, or anything else. He just wanted to hurt me, because I’d gotten him in trouble.
“All right,” I said. “I’ll put it on. Sorry.”
“Damned right you should be sorry, little girl,” he replied, but he did relax the grip on my arm even more. I guessed that he was used to working with people who were too drugged to defend themselves, but I was not one of those.
All right, so maybe the drugs had affected me enough that I couldn’t see or hear the ghosts very much anymore, and maybe they were making me have auditory hallucinations for the past few hours, but I figured that I’d learned enough self-defence to be able to put this dog down the way he deserved.
At least, I hoped so.
I felt a cold breeze wash over me and glanced around the room, expecting to see Jasper. I saw nothing, though. Nothing at all.
“Hurry up, girl,” Rafferty said. “After we talk, we’ve got a little more business to conduct, and we’ll need some privacy.”
I picked up the housecoat with my uninjured arm. The room was really getting cold, and I wondered if there was more than one ghost in here that I could not see.