Hearing Voices

by E. C. Bell

  “Good girl,” he said. I closed my eyes, clenched the fist of my uninjured arm and prepared to hit him as hard as I could. But before I could, he screamed, and his hands were finally off me.

  Rafferty’s nose was bleeding. Not just bleeding, but gushing. It wasn’t from his nostrils, either. It was from the bridge. I could see where a jagged set of teethmarks cut through the big-pored skin to the gristle beneath. Rafferty was batting at his face like he could still feel teeth cutting in, but all he managed to do was slap himself, repeatedly.

  “Holy crap,” I breathed, and scrambled as far away from him as I could. The blood was actually starting to splash, and I didn’t want to get any of it on me.

  “Help me!” he screamed, high voice high and breathless. “Get it off of me!”

  “There’s nothing there,” I said. I could guess, though, and my guess was that it was Jasper. And it looked like Jasper was trying to save me.

  “Yes, there is!” he screamed. “Something’s biting me. Biting me!” He grabbed his chest and screamed again as his white shirt bloomed a patch of blood at left nipple height. The amount of blood made me think that Jasper had removed that nipple, but since the shirt wasn’t damaged, I couldn’t be sure. All I knew for certain was that Rafferty fell to the ground like he’d been poleaxed. He groped at his chest and wheezed out a couple more cries, and then it appeared that he passed out.

  I didn’t really blame him; that would have been a lot of pain to deal with.

  “Jasper?” I called softly. “Is that you?”

  No answer, but that didn’t surprise me. “You gotta stop now,” I said. “You’ve hurt him enough, don’t you think?”

  I edged toward Julius’s prone body, thinking that maybe I’d be able to remove the ring of keys he had on his belt so that I could get out of that room and find some help. But as I edged up to him, I saw the zipper on his pants begin to open, one tooth at a time.

  “Jesus,” I breathed, and pulled myself away from him. “Jasper,” I said. “Don’t do whatever you’re thinking of doing. For the love of God, don’t do this.”

  As if answering, Rafferty’s fly zipped open and the top button of his white pants popped loose. Then his tight white underwear inched down, his body jerking every time his underwear moved, exposing more and more of his flaccid penis.

  “All right,” I cried. “That’s enough!”

  If I’d hoped my words would somehow stop Jasper, I was sorely let down. Rafferty’s penis flipped free, looking so much like the neck of a freshly killed turkey I would have laughed if I hadn’t been so utterly horrified.

  Teeth marks flared on the tip, and Rafferty moaned and came out of his faint. He put his hand down to his crotch in an effort to protect his manhood. When blood started to gush, he screamed again, and fought furiously with nothing at all.

  I watched with sick fascination as the tip of his penis appeared above his hands, showering blood down on them before turning into a small projectile that hit the far wall of my room, leaving a dull red mark, like a bruise against the white plaster.

  Rafferty passed out again, thank goodness, because his penis quickly turned into little pieces of meat spit all over the floor. I’d started screaming myself by that time, because I didn’t know how to stop Jasper, and I knew that if someone didn’t come in and help Rafferty soon, he would bleed to death.

  I held my hands up above my head and stared at the small black dot above the carnage, and cried, “Help!” over and over again until finally someone saw.

  My door was kicked open and a small army of orderlies flew in. I was taken down immediately, which didn’t surprise me. After all, I was the only one in that room besides Rafferty. I would have done the same thing myself, if I’d been them.

  Nurse Willoughby ran into the room shortly after. She looked at the unconscious Rafferty bleeding on the floor, pieces of his penis lying around him like so much grotesque confetti.

  “Apply pressure to the wound,” she said to the orderly standing the closest to Rafferty. The guy shook his head, and backed away from Rafferty’s prone body, and the nurse snorted derisively and fell to her knees. She placed her hand securely on the stump that used to be Rafferty’s pride and joy and tried to stop the blood.

  She glared at the orderly. “Get her out of here,” she said. “To Quiet Room Two.”

  As he pulled me to my feet and dragged me from the room, I tried to get the nurse’s attention. “I didn’t do anything!” I cried. “Watch the video and you’ll see! I didn’t do anything!”

  She didn’t answer me, though. And the only noises I heard while I was being dragged down the hallway to a tiny room with nothing in it were other patients in lockdown, screaming out their rage and fear, responding to my cries with cries of their own.

  Jasper:

  Phillipa’s Greatest Triumph

  PHILLIPA WASN’T AROUND all morning, which was unusual. When she finally appeared in the great room, she was smiling, which was also unusual. Unusual to the point that it frightened most of the spirits so that they disappeared in a flurry of yellow mist.

  “What’s going on?” I asked. I’d stayed, even though I wanted to run like the others. But we were friends again, and it was important that she saw that I was brave enough to face her, no matter what.

  “I did it, Jasper. I finally got the bastard.” She smiled again, and then danced around the room, her feet hovering two feet from the floor. I’d never seen her float before, and that sight almost undid me. But I nutted up and hung on.

  “What bastard is that?” I asked. But before I answered, I knew.

  “Julius,” she said. “I got Julius, but good.”

  “What did you do?” I asked.

  “I knew he’d go after Marie again,” she said. “So, I waited for him. And when he showed up, I did what he liked me to do, before I died,” she said. “I chewed on his cock.” She smiled again, and I swore I could see blood on her teeth. “I chewed on it real good.”

  I remembered what she’d done to the wooden posts out in the pasture and felt a low sympathetic ache where my own penis used to be. “Damn,” I said. “You bit off his dick?”

  “One chunk at a time,” she replied. “So, there’s no way they can sew it back on.”

  “Damn,” I said again. I was actually pretty impressed. It had only taken her a day and a half to figure out how to mess somebody up completely. I was still barely able to use a pencil on paper. Maybe motivation mixed with rage were the keys to success. “Is he dead?”

  “No,” she said. “Marie got him some help before he bled to death.” She leaned back, and then laid full out, her hands behind her head, still floating a couple of feet above the garbage strewn floor. “You know, I really think I saved her life.” She grinned, lazily. “Look at me, being the fucking hero.”

  “Yeah, sure,” I said. “Where’s Marie now?”

  “I don’t know,” she said. “Probably in a quiet room. She was screaming pretty loud when it all went down. I think she freaked out that bad because she thought it was you doing the biting.”

  “What?” I stared at her. “What do you mean?”

  “She couldn’t see me,” Phillipa said. “So, she thought it was you, which is pretty funny, you know? Except it’s important that she understands that I did that all on my own.”

  “Oh, Phillipa,” I cried. “What have you done?”

  I headed for the door, and as I burst through it, I heard Phillipa cry, “I was being a damned hero, Jasper! You make sure Marie knows it was me! It was me!”

  THE QUIET ROOMS in Building Thirteen were in a row next to the nurse’s station, and I’d spent my own fair share of time in them, so it didn’t take me long to find Marie in Room Two. She was sitting on the floor staring at nothing when I burst in, and I was afraid she’d been drugged out of her skull again.

  “Marie!” I cried. “I heard what happened. Are you all right?”

  She didn’t move, and I was afraid she hadn’t heard me. After a few of the lo
ngest moments of my life, she lifted her head.

  “Oh wow,” she said. “I can finally see you, a little. I was afraid I’d lost the ability.”

  Then her throat worked, and tears trickled down her face. “Why did you do that?” she asked. “I could have stopped him on my own. You didn’t need—”

  “It wasn’t me,” I said. “It was Phillipa.”

  “Phillipa? How did—” She scowled. “Did you teach her how to do that?”

  “Yeah,” I said. “I thought it would help her, you know, get over what he did to her.”

  “I couldn’t stop her,” she said. “I couldn’t even see her. All I could do was watch . . .”

  “I know,” I said. “She told me what happened.”

  “She tore him apart,” Marie said. “I was afraid she was going to kill him, Jasper. It was terrible.”

  I crept closer to her, but I was afraid to get too close. To touch her, just in case I scared her, too. “I heard,” I said. “I’m sorry she did that in front of you, Marie.”

  “So am I,” she said. “God, Jasper, no matter how bad it gets—that’s not the answer.”

  I didn’t know if she was exactly right about that, because having someone torture you until all you longed for was death seemed like a pretty good reason to seek a little revenge, but I could tell she was still pretty shaken up, so I decided to cut her some slack.

  “You’re not in trouble, are you?” I asked.

  “I—I don’t know,” she replied. “I told Nurse Willoughby to look at the video, so she could see that I wasn’t involved, but I’ve been here a long time, and she hasn’t come down. Hasn’t let me out yet.” She sniffled and wiped her nose with her hand the way a kid would. “It’s the damned ball diamond all over again. I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

  “Well, I don’t know about that,” I said, trying to be helpful. “But there is the video, after all. You should be all right.”

  “Can you do me a favour?” she asked. “Can you go and find out what’s going on? I think if I have to sit in this room any longer with no information, I’ll go right out of my mind.”

  I didn’t really want to go, because I wanted to comfort her, but decided to be a man about the whole thing, so I stood.

  “I’ll be back,” I said. “As soon as I find out what’s happening out there.”

  “Thank you, Jasper,” she said, and I practically floated out of the room myself. I’d never heard sweeter words spoken to me before. She didn’t blame me for what Phillipa had done. And, she needed me. I was going to do everything in my power to do exactly what she asked.

  Marie:

  The Quiet Room Isn’t so Quiet

  I WORKED HARD to pull myself together after Jasper left. I knew I’d need my wits about me when Nurse Willoughby—and probably the police—came back to talk to me about Julius Rafferty and his chewed-up penis.

  Damn, that was some cold shit Phillipa did in that room. I shuddered, then took a deep breath to calm down. Nurse Willoughby had to believe what she saw on that tape. I never went near the guy. She had to see that.

  But what if she didn’t? Didn’t believe what she saw. Didn’t believe her eyes. I imagined she’d seen some strange things in this place over the years. What if she decided that this incident went in the too-screwed-up-to-be-believed category? What if she decided that no matter what the tape showed, I had to be responsible? Just like Andrew Westwood at the ball diamond. Just like Crazy Rosalie in Fort McMurray . . .

  I blinked when I realized that I’d been dreaming about both of those incidents since the day I’d arrived at this place. No, not just those two. I’d also been dreaming about a demon. Trying to save myself from him when I was young. Could it be that it wasn’t just a nightmare, but another memory? Was my brainpan trying to tell me something? Something that, up until now, I’d conveniently tucked away, so I didn’t have to remember anymore?

  But why was I dreaming about a demon? Demons weren’t real. Just ghosts were real. Mom had told me that many times as I was growing up.

  “The idea of demons is just us humans trying to make sense of spirits interacting with the world,” she’d say. “Remember that. Demons are just an idea. Only the spirits are real.”

  “Only spirits are real.” It was the voice that was not my mother’s, whispering her words to me again. I didn’t bother answering it. Looked around and wondered if I’d somehow managed to fall asleep again. I didn’t feel asleep, but in my dreams I rarely did. And the whispered voice sounded so real.

  “Screw this,” I said, and slapped myself as hard as I could. The pain was real and immediate, and tears formed in my eyes.

  “At least I’m awake,” I muttered. But maybe it would have been better if I had been asleep. Before, I’d only heard my non-mother’s voice when I was asleep, or very close to it. “A new development,” I whispered. “How delightful.”

  “Only spirits are real,” the voice whispered again, like it was trying to prove, beyond a shadow of a doubt that things really had changed, and it was with me now, asleep and awake.

  Delightful.

  JASPER POPPED INTO the room, looking distraught. “Willoughby called Dr. Parkerson. Told her what happened, and that she was going to call the cops. Dr. Parkerson said no. To wait until she gets here.”

  That seemed impossible. Didn’t they need to report something like that attack right away? “How’s Rafferty?” I asked.

  “Still unconscious,” he said. “At least he was when they loaded him into an ambulance. I figure they’ve taken him to a hospital.”

  None of that surprised me. Rafferty had been in bad shape. “Thanks, Jasper. You’ve been a big help.”

  “Really?” he said, and smiled. It was so pathetically sweet that it almost made me cry again. But the moment passed when Nurse Willoughby burst into Quiet Room Two.

  She’d washed her hands, but the front of her uniform was still covered with blood. Her face was dead white and strained, like she was seriously considering falling unconscious right here at my feet.

  “Are you all right?” I asked. She looked at me, and when I pointed at her uniform, she gasped.

  “I’m sorry,” she said. “I’ll have to change.” But all she did was stand in the doorway and stare at me.

  “Maybe you should sit down,” I said.

  She shook her head like she was trying to clear her thoughts, and then some of her old attitude returned. “I’m fine,” she said.

  “She doesn’t look fine,” Jasper said. “She looks like hell.”

  I agreed with him totally, but didn’t say anything. No talking to the ghosts in front of staff, even after everything that had gone on.

  He understood, or at least pretended to. “You need to concentrate,” he said. “I’ll just stand over here—” he pointed at the far corner of the room, “and be very quiet while you talk to her.”

  Then, he was as good as his word. He walked to the corner and stood with his face pressed against the wall. If I didn’t look at him straight on, I couldn’t even see him.

  “I came here to check on you,” Nurse Willoughby said. She walked up to me and gave me a quick once over, and then frowned. “Not a mark on you. Surprising.”

  “No, it’s not surprising,” I replied. “Did you look at the tape?”

  “The tape?” She sounded like she’d never heard of the word before. “What tape?”

  “The videotape from my room,” I said. I wanted to give her a quick slap, to snap her out of whatever stupid fugue state she was in. We were well past lying about that tape, now. “I know all about it, so don’t try to tell me it’s not there.”

  She stared at me a moment more, then her professional facade collapsed. “I saw it,” she said, “but I still don’t know what I saw. We’ll be handing it all over to the police, I imagine.”

  “I imagine,” I said. If the good doctor gave the OK.

  “Why Mr. Rafferty?” she asked. “Why not me, or some other staff member?”

  I fro
wned. “What do you mean, why him? That son of bitch was trying to—he wanted to hurt me. Worse, he could have gotten away with it. I told Nurse Melodie that he needed to keep away from me.” I shook my head. “I told her last night.”

  “She didn’t tell me,” Willoughby said. Her mouth worked, and when she looked at me, I was shocked to see tears in her eyes. She blinked them away, and then took in a quick breath and blew it back out.

  “You’ll have to stay in here for a while longer,” she said. “I don’t have another room available, so you’ll have to wait until we get your old room cleaned once the police are through with it.”

  I hated the idea of going back in that room, even after they’d cleaned up the blood and bits of Rafferty off the floor. But apparently, I did not have a choice.

  “Can I bring you anything while you wait?” she asked.

  I shrugged. “I don’t know,” I said. “Maybe a chair?”

  “All right,” she replied. “And I bet you’re hungry. I’ll get someone to bring you—”

  “No,” I said, quickly. I felt like I’d never want to eat again. “No food.”

  “All right,” she said. “But you do have to eat eventually, you know.”

  “I know,” I said. “Just not right now, OK?”

  “OK,” she said. She turned toward the door, but stopped before she opened it. “I really am sorry,” she said. “You never should have been put in a situation like that. This is supposed to be a safe place, for all of you.”

  Before I could answer, she was gone.

  “Can I come out of the corner now?” Jasper asked. He made me jump when he spoke. I’d forgotten he was there.

  “Yeah,” I said when I’d recovered. “Come on out.”

  “How naive is she?” Jasper asked. “This place has been underfunded for years. Years. They can’t fix the buildings when they get old. They can’t keep all the beds they need open. And they can’t keep good staff. She’d know that as well as anyone else. She’s been here forever.”