“Won’t I go?”
“It’s going to be difficult enough for him without your sobbing and wailing,” she said. “And what if you faint again when we go to the funeral parlor?”
“I won’t.”
“We’ll see,” she said.
“Is Uncle Perry with Daddy?”
“Yes, but he’s not much help. He’s as white as a bedsheet and looks like he’ll faint, too. He’s already had two shots of whiskey, thanks to me,” she added. “Frankly, I wish he’d go home.”
“But he’s Daddy’s brother. He should stay with him, with us.”
She smirked but then said, “The only good thing about it is that Daddy’s worrying over him keeps him distracted from his own deep sorrow for now. I’m going down to make something simple to eat in case anyone’s hungry tonight.”
“I can’t imagine ever eating again.”
“Eating is comforting,” she said. “You’ll see. Sorrow is exhausting.”
“Is that why Asa’s father drank himself to death?”
“Yes, I’m sure it was.”
“Just think, Cassie, the first Asa dies, and the second dies in a miscarriage, and—”
“Stop talking about it,” she snapped. “It’s not the same, anyway. The first Asa died in a war. He had lived with his family for years. Our Asa was little more than an idea. We don’t even have a picture of him.”
We heard people talking in the hallway.
“That’s the ambulance personnel,” she said. “I don’t think you should come out and see this.” She walked toward the door.
“If you’re going, I’m going,” I said.
“Suit yourself, but don’t dare faint or anything.”
Just warning me about it put it in my mind. I was a little dizzy when I stood up, but I closed my eyes and then opened them to follow her into the hallway. The sight of Mother covered with a sheet and being wheeled out of the bedroom was like a blow to my stomach. I started to dry-heave, but Cassie spun on me with those fiery eyes, and I caught my breath.
“I’m all right,” I said.
We walked behind the ambulance attendants and watched them lift the gurney and carry Mother carefully down the stairway. Daddy walked right beside them as if he was afraid they might drop Mother. Uncle Perry waited below. The attendants lowered the gurney again and wheeled it to the front door. Daddy followed them out, but Uncle Perry stood back, watching with us. Then, without a word, he turned to me and put his arm around me. Looking pointedly at Cassie, he said, “You must not blame yourself, Semantha.”
Cassie turned away from him and headed toward the kitchen. Afterward, he went with Daddy to Daddy’s office to call our minister and what relatives they thought they should call, and I joined Cassie in the kitchen.
She was right about us being hungry, after all. When I looked at Daddy, even though he was eating, he seemed more stunned than sad. Every once in a while, I caught him looking toward Mother’s chair. Cassie was sitting in her own place again. We had just gotten seated at the table when the phone started to ring. Cassie took it on herself to handle all phone calls. She reported each and every one to Daddy. He smiled at some names and nodded, and then returned to his far-off look.
Later, he and Uncle Perry sat and talked. Cassie kept busy in the house but walked in and out to ask Daddy if he needed anything. I tried to stay up with everyone, but my eyelids wouldn’t cooperate. They kept shutting, and I kept dozing off until Cassie shook me and told me to go up to bed.
“I’ll come up to look in on you in a little while,” she said.
How she could be so strong and so helpful when I was nothing but a wet noodle amazed me. Once again, I thought how Mother had been right about her, how she would be a leader and would always have strong self-confidence.
Despite all that had occurred and all I had seen, I still couldn’t get myself to believe that Mother was gone, had literally been carted away under a sheet like something to be kept hidden from curious eyes. I had to go back to her bedroom and look in at the empty bed, praying to myself that this was all just a bad dream and I would soon wake up. No one had touched the bed. The blanket was still pulled back, her pillows showing where her head had been. I started to cry again and hurried back to my room. I cried in the bathroom. I cried when I got dressed for bed, and I sobbed into my pillow until I felt Cassie’s hand on my shoulder and turned to look up at her.
“Now, don’t cry, Semantha. Don’t worry. I’ll always be here for you. We’re the Heavenstone sisters. We can overcome anything together. I want you to be strong over the next few days. I want you to help me with Daddy, be at his side to give him the strength he will need, okay?”
I nodded.
“Just try to get some sleep. Remember, the sun in the morning is the kiss of life,” she said, which was something Mother always said. Then she kissed my cheek, stroked my hair, and fixed my blanket. “I’m right across the hall,” she said, “as always.”
I watched her leave and closed my eyes again. It bothered me a little for reasons I couldn’t quite understand yet, but Cassie was as comforting as our mother had been able to be.
In the morning, she was up ahead of me as usual and had done quite a bit before I ventured down. She had the table set and our breakfast prepared.
“I’m sorry I didn’t get down early enough to help you, Cassie,” I told her.
“That’s all right. You needed more sleep than I did. You went through a more trying time. I’m going up to see about Daddy. We must be sure he eats a good breakfast. He needs his strength. I know it will be hard for you, but try not to cry in front of him, okay?”
“Yes.”
I waited at the table, and when Daddy came down with Cassie, he looked as if he had aged years overnight. He wasn’t dressed as impeccably as he usually was, and his hair was not as neat. Surely, sleeping in the bed in which Mother had died was very difficult and very emotional for him. I was positive that he had not had a good night’s sleep and had probably woken up many times to convince himself that she wasn’t there and would never be again.
On the other hand, Cassie was as buoyant and energetic as ever, urging Daddy and me to eat, clearing dishes, pouring coffee, and serving her special egg omelette. She spoke to Daddy as if he was her child and not vice versa. He nodded and gave her whatever smiles he could. Somehow, she got him to finish his breakfast, and then I helped her clear the table so we could get ready to go to the funeral parlor. Daddy suggested that he would go himself, but Cassie insisted that we accompany him. She assured him that we would be fine and looked at me sharply to remind me how to behave.
Uncle Perry met us at the funeral parlor. I was grateful for that, because he held my hand and stood by me the whole time. Even so, I think the one thing that saved me was the feeling that none of this was real. Even when I looked at the choices for a coffin, it seemed as if I was watching a movie about someone else. The only time I reacted to anything was when Daddy asked us if what he had chosen was appropriate. Cassie assured him it was, and I quickly nodded. After all of the arrangements were made, we headed back home. Amazingly, Cassie already had organized the caterers and staff to handle the mourners who would visit.
Our days of mourning seemed to run into each other and become one very long, dreary, dark day. Although Cassie was polite to people, I could see she didn’t appreciate anyone’s sympathy or look grateful for anything except being left alone. She never tired or failed to be at Daddy’s side for one moment. The stream of mourners didn’t faze her one bit. On the other hand, their tears, words of encouragement, and dark faces draped in heavy gloom exhausted me. I slept on and off and fell asleep early each night.
Mother’s funeral was attended by so many people that the church overflowed, and people had to stand outside and listen to the minister on a speaker. There were many dignitaries. The governor sent a representative, and both of our state’s senators did as well. A great many of the mourners followed the hearse to the cemetery, too. Daddy stood betwee
n Cassie and me as the minister said his final words and prayers. I cried but held on to Daddy, who simply stared at the coffin. Cassie, on the other hand, seemed strong enough to be holding him up. Uncle Perry stood beside me and took my hand. After the graveside ceremony ended, we returned to the house for the final greeting of mourners.
I saw very few students from our school at the church and none at the funeral. When I mentioned that to Cassie, she smirked, nodded, and said, “The hypocrites told their children not to mourn someone who committed suicide, I’m sure. Who cares? Who wants their empty sympathy, anyway?”
I did. I wanted to see a friendly face. I had hoped Kent would come, but he didn’t, and neither did any of the girls who had become my new best friends. Cassie’s decision for me to stay home and then attend a private school seemed very sensible to me now. I hoped she hadn’t forgotten and would convince Daddy.
When everyone was finally gone, Cassie sent Daddy up to bed and took care of the caterers and locking up our house. She sent me up to bed as well. Before he left, Uncle Perry came to me and asked me please to call on him for anything at any time. He hugged me and kissed me.
“It’s all right to cry now, Semantha,” he said. “You’ve been a good soldier for your father, but don’t hold your grief in your heart. Let it spill out.”
I thanked him and went up to my room. I was still moving in slow motion like someone in a trance myself. After I got into bed, I heard Cassie come up the stairs, but I didn’t hear her go to her bedroom. I waited and waited but still didn’t hear her. Curious, I got out of bed and looked down the hallway. I didn’t see her for a few moments, and then suddenly, she emerged from Daddy’s bedroom with an armful of clothing.
Now she was the one moving like someone in a trance. She seemed not to see me standing in my bedroom doorway and almost walked past me and into her room before I called out. She turned slowly.
“Why aren’t you asleep?” she asked.
“I was just getting to sleep when I heard you. What are you doing with those clothes?”
“These are some of Mother’s things that I want to keep and wear,” she said. “We are about the same size. Daddy was always fond of these outfits.”
I just stared.
“Actually, I can fit into everything that was hers,” she added.
I didn’t know what to say.
She smiled.
“Good night, Semantha,” she said, and went into her room, closing the door behind her and leaving me shivering in the darkness of my own bedroom.
The Deal
DADDY WAS GOING to return to work the next day right after a little breakfast, but Cassie asked him to leave later so we could have a family meeting.
“Then you don’t want to return to school yet?” Daddy asked.
“No. This is why we must meet and have a family discussion,” she told him.
The idea of it being a family meeting without Mother seemed strange. I winced at the sound of it, but Daddy agreed, so right after breakfast we all went into the living room, where Cassie could discuss important matters. She would say nothing until Daddy and I were seated. Even then, she paced back and forth for a few moments, looking as if she was taking great care about how she expressed herself.
I couldn’t take my eyes off her, and I was holding my breath in anticipation, but Daddy looked quite subdued, his gaze on the floor. I didn’t expect him to be himself, of course, but he looked as if all of his strength, his love of life, and his energy had been buried alongside Mother in her grave. Maybe that was why he was so willing to agree with Cassie, why he presented little opposition to her requests, which sounded more like her usual faits accomplis.
She began.“You might have noticed, Daddy—although if you didn’t, we understand, of course—that few, if any, of our classmates were at the church for Mother’s funeral services.” She turned to me. “Am I right, Semantha?”
I looked at Daddy and nodded. He said nothing, but the sadness in his face deepened.
“As you know, Daddy,” Cassie continued, “both Semantha and I have never been happy in public school. For me, it’s been little or no challenge, and as some recent events proved, it’s not been a happy time for Semantha, either. It’s not your fault, but because you are so successful, because the Heavenstones are so well known and respected here, Semantha and I are often resented at school. So many are jealous of us and eager to criticize us or see us have misfortune. Even our teachers look at us though green eyes of accusation, accusing us of thinking we are better than anyone else.”
“Have any of them said such a thing?” Daddy asked.
“No, but it’s not hard to see the thought rolling around in their heads and hear it in their tone of voice whenever they speak to either of us.”
I nearly smiled when Cassie said this. Why was she making it sound as if that made her unhappy? She certainly believed we were truly better than everyone else and had not failed to tell me so one way or another practically every day of my life.
“I do know what you mean,” Daddy said, nodding. “It’s often more of a burden to be held in high regard in your community. I can sympathize, because when I was growing up, I felt much the same way you two do, but—”
“But we have a solution, Daddy,” Cassie interrupted.
He nodded. “What’s that?”
“Well, as regards me, I’m dropping out of school for now. I’m putting my formal education on hold for a while.”
“Oh, I don’t think that’s—”
“You have often told me how Grandfather Heavenstone only went through the eighth grade, but his business acumen guided him to slip into his father’s shoes and continue to build a successful enterprise. Whenever you talked about him, I could see in your face how proud of him you were.”
“He was an extraordinary man,” Daddy agreed.
“And I don’t think I’m being immodest by saying I have proven to be somewhat beyond my peers and even most of my teachers. You know that’s true, Daddy.”
“I’ve always said that, Cassie, and so did your mother. We’re very proud of you and your accomplishments.”
“Which is exactly why you shouldn’t be worried about my hiatus from formal education.”
“But what will you do?”
“I have a lot to do here now, and I’d like to become more of an assistant to you, learn more and more about our business. You’re carrying the whole load on your shoulders, Daddy. Don’t pretend you’re not, and don’t pretend that Uncle Perry can shoulder much or any of that responsibility.”
“Perry has other talents,” he said as a way of agreeing with her.
“But not executive talents,” Cassie insisted. “You’re still a young man, Daddy, but you’re not Superman. With all that’s happened, you need someone upon whom you can safely and comfortably rely. I know I can be that someone for you. Mother never took much interest in the Heavenstone Stores. I’m not faulting her. I know it just wasn’t her cup of tea, but she was at least supportive, and you need someone like that on a daily basis. You need reinforcement. I’m not saying you’re not up to your responsibilities, but it’s good to have someone you can trust watching your back.”
Daddy nodded and then finally smiled.“You are truly a very bright and thoughtful young woman, Cassie. I wish your mother was here to listen to you.”
“Thank you. So, that’s settled,” she concluded, even though Daddy had not actually said so. Then she looked at me. “Now, we have Semantha to consider. She isn’t doing spectacular work at school. She’s actually average or even a little below average in her grades. And that’s not because she’s not trying. It’s because she’s so unhappy.” She said it with a firmness that made my denying it impossible.
Daddy looked at me and nodded. “Your mother and I often discussed that. Even though she didn’t say anything, I knew she was just as concerned. Of course, I know you always helped her as much as you could.”
“Which is why I think we should do what I suggest for now, Dadd
y,” Cassie said.
“What is that, exactly?”
“I think Semantha should withdraw from public school, too. There are just too many obstacles for her there, too many unnecessary challenges now in light of what’s happened. I have found … I mean, I know of an excellent tutor for her home-schooling.”
“Home-schooling?”
“Just until the end of this school year. With our great family tragedies, it’s best we are all together, supporting each other for a while. After that, we can enroll her in a good private school where she will attend classes with other boys and girls who come from similar successful families, although few as successful and important as ours.”
Daddy looked at me for a reaction, but I kept myself stone-faced and said nothing. I was afraid I would say something that wouldn’t please or support Cassie, and the truth of it was, I was nervous about returning to school and seeing my classmates. I knew by now we were the big topic of all the gossip. Mother’s suicide would stain me indelibly. No one would look at me without thinking about it. They would make me feel freakish. Surely few, if any, would want to be my friends anymore, not that so many were knocking down my door. I could only guess how Kent would view me. Eddie, who was afraid I might undermine his fabricated explanation for the car accident that had injured Noel, would probably gloat at my isolation. Who’d listen to anything I said?
“And you know someone good enough for her?” Daddy asked Cassie.
“Yes, I do, Daddy. I learned about her through an acquaintance at school who told me how successful this woman, Mrs. Underwood, had been with her invalid cousin. Mrs. Underwood, a widow, is a retired high-school librarian with expertise in all subject matters. She has the proper certification. Her children live in New York, so she has the time to take on jobs like this, and she needs to supplement her meager teacher’s retirement pension.”
“I see. Apparently, you’ve done some research on it.” He shook his head. “I’m not surprised.” He turned to me. “Your sister is always a mile ahead of most of us, always prepared. That’s a good quality to have, in business especially.”
The Heavenstone Secrets Page 22