Fourth and Long

by Michele M. Rakes

  Well, if the man wants me in a suit and at the stadium, then I’m sure it’s important.

  * * * *

  7:00 p.m.

  Highlanders’ Stadium

  The group of people standing on the fifty-yard line under the lights of the stadium surprises me. I expected a judge and a witness, not an entire wedding party. For a moment, I stand in the mouth of the tunnel to get my head together. High in the clear, cold sky, the brilliance of the winter moon shines, but the lights wash out the stars. Not like at home, where I can watch them “turn through their ancient dance,” as Mom would say.

  My breath is a puff of steam from my nose as I cross the field. I feel like a dragon. The suit I’m wearing is warm. An expensive dark blue wool. My tie is a beautiful electric pink silk, for my mother. Even I’ll admit, I look sharp. The man I’m addicted to has plans for me this evening. The tingle in my gut is back. How could things in my life change so drastically? I’m happy on the field, but I’ve never been as content off the field as when I’m with Irus. The world opens up when I’m with him, and the darkness disappears.

  There’s a woman standing next to Irus, dressed in thick layers of velvet robes, dark purple, I think. From this distance, it’s hard to tell. Miss Beulah is in a stunning full-length dress, Coach Bryant on her arm looking fabulous in a suit. The man is usually so dressed down. I look again, realizing the beaming expression on her face isn’t for me crossing the field. Her eyes are all for Coach. No way! Have the two old linebackers found companionship or love? Lord, I hope so. Coach Bryant lost his wife four years ago. Two young boys, with skin as dark as Irus’s, stand by Coach. Sure would be nice to see Miss Beulah happy too. Married, with kids?

  Coach Daily is alongside them, with his wife and young son. Els, Samuel, and Etterson are done up to the hilt. Etterson looks like he’s been roughly stuffed into a suit two sizes too small for the big guy.

  Irus stands with his wrist clasped in his hand, a nervous habit, but he’s smiling like a shit-eating fool. His dreads have been left long around his shoulders, which I like. Usually when he dresses up nice, they’re pulled back, but he knows how much I like them down. He fidgets a little as I take my time crossing the field. Give me time to settle the jittery feeling.

  The restless thump of my heart is only rivaled by my pregame amp up, and the adrenaline in my bloodstream makes me want to tackle Irus to the ground. Evil, dirty thoughts whisper through my mind. Visions of Irus hot and sweaty above me, moving inside me, work my body up into such a state of emotion and arousal. I’ve always been so sexual, it doesn’t surprise me that I’m going to marry the man I’m addicted to with a hard-on stashed in my slacks. The thought makes me smile.

  My man can’t wait and steps up to greet me as I approach our little group. “I was thinking I should’ve proposed to you on the fifty-yard line at the end of our last game,” he says to me as he takes my hand, playing with the promise ring on my finger. We join the group, and he faces me again.

  “I thought of it then and regret not doing it there, in front of all the cameras, letting the world know I love you and this is real. Then last night while I watched you sleep, I was thinking about all I wanted for us, for you, for Jared. About your mom and about football. You are home on this field; we can all see that, bro. It’s in this game that you’re in your element. So I thought, of course, we can be married on the fifty-yard line.”

  Irus makes me laugh. The brightness in his eyes betrays his absolute excitement.

  “No, wait, hear me out,” he says, turning serious, but the sheen is still there as his crinkle lines go away with his solemn face. “I was torn between wanting the world to know how much I love you and having a small affair like this one. So, I compromised.”

  There’s a rustle of noise, like lots of feet shuffling, and I turn to see a group of about a hundred people filing into the seats nearest us. I recognize the group of loyal fans, and they’re done up in their costumes, makeup, and gear they wear to every game. Season ticket holders, year-round fans, and loyal to us even when we’re losing. They follow us to away games or meet us when we get off the bus. I can’t fucking believe how choked up I’m getting right now. Their support means so much more to them and us than just showing up for games or even winning.

  “There’s more,” Irus whispers in my ear. He points to a cameraman and reporter I hadn’t noticed. Our local station, who’ve supported us since I was first outed, along with the national broadcast sideline reporter Sarah Channing are covering our wedding? She waves, more excited than I think I’ve ever seen her, and I wave back automatically.

  “They’re here for you, Jacks. For us. But I’m not done yet.”

  Fuck, I don’t think I can take more. Irus turns me toward the visitors’ tunnel in time to see our entire football team and staff run onto the field. Dressed in their gear, holding their helmets, looking like they’re ready to storm any competition coming our way. Out of the middle of the pack, though, I see the one man who means the most to Irus and now me. Kane moves with a grace I wish I possessed. His hair, longer than mine and maybe a little blonder, spreads across his shoulders. He’s not wearing a suit, but instead wears dark, what look like yoga pants, and a matching sweater. A large cream-colored scarf is wound stylishly around his throat and drapes his shoulders. Garrett is behind him, tall and handsome in his dark gray suit.

  Kane takes my arm and kisses me. He whispers in my ear, “Take good care of him, Jacks. He’s just as vulnerable as you.”

  Garrett shakes my hand. “Whatever he said,” he says with a jerk of his head toward Kane.

  “How’d you get here so fast?”

  Garrett smiles. “Irus called us last night. Spared no expense.”

  “Unfortunately,” Irus says, “my family cannot attend. So next summer, we’ll have to do this all over again. You okay with that, Jacks?”

  “Yeah, sure,” I say, more than a little overwhelmed. As I look around, taking in everyone, and seeing that even Haines is in uniform, I realize someone important, critical to my life and future, isn’t here. “Someone’s missing,” I say.

  Irus turns me around to face the pretty woman in the robes, her wild, curly hair dancing in the slight breeze of the open stadium. “No one is missing, Jacks. I figured you wouldn’t want to be married by a judge in a courthouse. Meg is ordained and a High Priestess. She’s fully qualified and prepared to marry us.”

  That’s all well and good, but no. “That’s not who I’m talking about.”

  Irus smiles, like he already knew what I was going to say, and points toward Miss Beulah and Coach Bryant. From behind them steps Jared, his normally frizzy red hair almost tamed, and he’s dressed in a nice dark green suit.

  “How?” I ask Irus.

  He leans down to whisper in my ear, “Kid’s dad got picked up again.”

  “He’s back in jail?”

  “Don’t sound too hopeful. We don’t have him yet. We’ve got a court date in February.”

  “I wish they’d stop jerking us around,” I say, the anger and frustration slipping into my voice.

  Irus places a calming hand on my shoulder. “He’s here now. Let’s enjoy this together.”

  Jared looks uncomfortable, but when he sees me look at him, the kid is all smiles. I can tell he wants to do something, but is unsure. When I nod my head, he hits me like a linebacker with a hug that could choke a buffalo.

  “All right, kid, let him go,” Irus says. Jared stands back, tears in his eyes, and Irus softens. “You want to give him away?”

  “You mean, like a girl?”

  “No, I mean like a young man who wants to share his father with me.” Irus rests a tentative hand on Jared’s arm. “Do I have your permission to marry your dad?”

  Jared’s green eyes well up even more, and he wipes his runny nose on his sleeve. I smack his arm down and pull out his pocket square. “Use this, man.”

  Jared’s smile wobbles and he looks up at Irus. “You gonna treat him right? Not hit him like
my real dad hits my mom?”

  “Never. Honestly, Jacks would knock me out if I did that, but I promise you, I’ll never abuse him.”

  Jared nods and takes our hands. He leads us nervously to the woman dressed in ceremonial garb. He licks his lips and says, “I give Jacks and Irus to you, Miss Meg. To bless and…um, wed? Is that right?” He stage-whispers the last part to the smiling woman.

  “That’s perfect, Jared, my man. Good job, you.” The woman’s accent and manner of speech are fast and intriguing. She’s not Australian.

  Irus whispers in my ear, “She’s from New Zealand, in case you’re wondering.”

  The woman with flaming red hair to rival Jared’s nearly explodes with energy. I can feel it all the way to my bones, and her bright smile sets me at ease. Her accented voice fills the stadium. I’m astonished at her ability to project. My nerves are on fire and I cling to Irus, hoping he can stabilize my soul. He smiles. His hands, solid and sure, hold mine with ease.

  As Meg begins to speak, I stare at our hands, his so dark against my pale ones. Not lost on me is the fact some fifty years ago, a black person marrying a white person was considered heinous. Nor is it forgotten how now, it is just becoming possible for the two of us to marry. A man married to another man. How many of those gone before us never got to experience this moment of union? Who never thought their love could be united in anything more than a domestic partnership? With these thoughts, I realize I want so much more than that for Irus, for myself. I want what my mother longed for and what Jared needs.

  “Before we begin, are there any vows prepared?”

  Fuck. No. What the fuck am I gonna do now?

  “I have something to say,” Irus says.

  Someone from our team hollers, “No surprise there!”

  There’s a round of nerve-relieving laughter. Irus smiles, and all the reasons I’m so strung out for him crystallize in my mind.

  “Funny guys,” Irus says, fake admonishment in his tone. He clears his throat, takes my hands so I have to turn to face him full on, giving him my full attention. “Jacks, you’re the reason I breathe. My soul was born into this world fragmented, searching for the other half to make me whole, and I found you at a young age. Circumstances—no—evil separated us, and I’ve been wandering in a wasteland devoid of emotion and true desire, empty and listless, until I rediscovered you. Don’t make me lose you again.”

  I laugh. More nerves than anything, and I say, “Okay, I won’t.”

  “Those are lovely words, Irus. Yes, beautiful. Jacks? Do you have a wee bit to say before I begin the ceremony?”

  Fuck me. “Um…can I say, ‘Yeah what he said’?”

  “No.” Well, the woman was firm on that one.

  “Okay, um…” All thoughts vacate my head. In a panic, I look around at everyone assembled. Kane catches my attention with a small wave of his hand. When he knows he has me, he lays his hand on his solar plexus, breathes deep, and lets it out. Sure. Okay. I’ll give it a try. I suck in a deep breath, close my eyes, and let it out.

  Clarity. Emotion. Everything I feel for Irus floods my awareness. It comes out in a deluge once I open my piehole. I don’t even know where it’s all coming from, but it doesn’t matter. The look in Irus’s eyes is enough for me.

  “I can’t survive without you. Do you know that? Do you understand how weak you make me feel and how strong at the same time? Have you any idea what kind of storm you’ve created in my life? I can’t sleep without you. I can’t dream when you’re gone from my bed. You make me want to inhale you like a drug. I’m so fucking addicted to you, and I don’t even know when it happened. I can’t define the exact moment I fell in such utter fucking love with you, but I swear, I can’t exist without you. The moment you leave my life, I will follow you into the darkness, wrap myself around you, and never let you go because you can’t ever leave me now. Don’t you dare try.”

  “Wow, stalkerish…” he says, with a smile and a sheen in his eyes, those lids blinking rapidly. He swallows. “I won’t leave you. Shit can get bad, and I’m sure it will real soon, but I’ll hold you up, Jacks, because I’m just as addicted to you.”

  I’m lost in his brown eyes. He means what he says, and the last remnant of doubt I feel leaves me. “I trust you, Irus Beaumont. Not only with my life, but my love.”

  He scoops me up as if I just made the greatest play on earth. His grin as wide as the Milky Way, and the stars reflect in his eyes. I’m completely fucking gone on him as I cling to his hard body.

  There’s applause. Under these lights it feels like a game-day win, but Miss Meg waves everyone silent. With a sweep of her robed arms, she gathers everyone in for her words of wisdom.

  After a brief prayer, she begins in her lovely voice. “It is the light of love that brings us here. We’ve come to bask in the glow the Lord and Lady have bestowed upon Jackson and Irus. The glow of love. The single most important aspect in the universe. The union of two souls. Love has stopped and started wars. It has caused great pain but also great joy. And as Jackson and Irus continue this journey they started as young children, we gather to wish them harmony and to bless them in their lives together. We shower them with good intentions and hope for their strong future. In this endeavor, we bless them. As witnesses, the elementals, the Lady and her Lord, our friends and our family, we call together for the universe to unite these two men into the bliss of wedlock as husband and husband. Pray they never part.”

  She winds green ribbon around our clasped hands, for prosperity, she explains, and a blue one for our team. In a soft voice, just loud enough for Irus and me to hear, she says, “Go Highlanders.”

  For a moment, I wonder if she’s done some sort of other magic. She winks at me and steps back. Miss Beulah hands her an ancient-looking, gnarled broom I hadn’t noticed before, and Miss Meg lays it at our feet. I glance to Irus. His face is tight with emotion, his eyes so dark, but when he meets my gaze, there’s nothing but love.

  Meg’s voice rises again. “Jumping the broom began as a wedding custom among the Romani of Wales and Scotland. Broomstick marriages were considered dubious. Later, in the nineteenth century, it became a symbol of marriage for slaves of the southern United States.”

  “This means a lot to me,” Irus says. “When slaves were not allowed to marry, they jumped over a broom, and since until recently men were not allowed to marry each other, I felt like this is something we should do together. The fact you’re Scottish makes it all the more appropriate. So, will you jump over the broom with me?”

  “Irus, I’d jump over anything for you.” Irus’s hand tightens on mine. Only the sound of the breeze is in our ears, and we take our first leap as a married couple. The crowd erupts as if we just scored a touchdown, and Irus kisses me amid the whoops and hollers.

  My entire universe disappears. There’s no sound except the throb of my blood. Irus is all I taste. The smell of his cologne ignites me, but the undercurrent of sweet musk is what does me in, the scent of my man when he wants me.

  Our team surrounds us, pounding our backs, peeling us apart to shake our hands, but then Etterson picks me up onto his shoulders as the rest of our offensive line surrounds us. Irus is raised by Els and the defensive line. I reach for Irus as Etterson shifts me, worried the rookie’s gonna drop me, and Mal takes one of my legs to help hold me high. Cameras flash, and it’s just as crazy as if we’d won the championship. I look for Jared. When I find him, I wave him over. He tries to muscle his way through our big teammates. Haines and Samuel see him and heft him up to us. Jared makes a dive for me, and we all hit the ground, laughing, in a dog pile.

  When I sit up, taking a moment to catch the wind back in my chest, I say to Jared, “Are you ready for this, kid? Two dads who play in the pro league? Always training, traveling, and only truly home for part of the year?”

  “As long as you don’t do drugs, don’t drink and drive, and don’t ever drop the ball with me, I’m there for you, Jacks.” The kid hugs me hard, knocking the wind out
of me again, and Irus holds me up, keeping me from falling backward. We’re hidden in the circle of our teammates. I think I’m safe to let a few tears fall.

  Loose Id Titles by Michele M. Rakes

  Fourth and Long

  Saving Kane

  Michele M. Rakes

  Michele M. Rakes lives in a small town in the shadow of a big mountain. She works as a surgical technologist assisting in the removal of tonsils and testicles. She has three grown children, two psychotic Egyptian Maus Tosser, a husband with hair down to his ass, two Harley’s, and a ferret named Teeny Tiny Ferret Feet.

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