I Want to be Me
Page 14
‘And Kate? Everything okay there?’
‘Couldn’t be better! I think that Kate has improved a lot since I started talking to her. She’s not upset anymore, and she’s a lot easier to get along with. She has actually been terrific about a lot of things, so your advice was good advice. Thanks a lot.’
Julia seemed happy to get the pleasantries out of the way.
‘Good! Now, are you ready for the serious stuff?’ Julia hesitated for a moment, sipped her coffee and then continued. ‘We have to face the facts. I like Finn very much – he’s talented and all that – but as things stand we are going to lose on Sunday for certain. You know what will happen then!’
‘What can we do?’
‘When we last talked, I mentioned that we’d gone about the Ferdinand and Elaine problem the wrong way. Entirely the wrong way!’ Julia sighed, exasperated at how stupid the whole thing had been. ‘They made Elaine feel bad. They put her down, and I think that the only chance we have is to make her feel that she’s valued and needed for what she can do, and what she has to offer.’
‘How can we do that?’ Claudia couldn’t see quite where Julia was going with all of this.
‘I know what Elaine’s favourite music is. I think that if we went over to Boar Hill, and played her some beautiful music, played it really well, made it totally obvious that it was for her, and kind of invited her to play with us, it might just do the trick.’
‘What do you have in mind?’
‘I thought we could start with a piece that was just beautiful music, like “Afternoon of a Fawn”, which as you know is great flute music, and then we could play a piece written for the flute, viola and harp – there’s a sonata that I have in mind.’
‘But we don’t have a harp!’
‘That’s the whole point. Elaine will listen to the music and know that the harp is missing and we’re really asking her to join us.’
‘That’s very clever!’
‘It might just work, if it makes Elaine think about herself. But we don’t have much time! It would have to be this Friday afternoon. Could you manage that?’
‘I’ll have to ask Kate,’ Claudia replied, ‘but I think she’ll agree. She’s quite reasonable about a lot of things these days.’
Julia smiled. ‘You can tell her that you’re practising some music with me, and that is actually the truth, so do try hard, Claudia! We simply must get them to the Saturday rehearsal. If we have Elaine and Ferdinand in the team our chances improve quite a bit. Even a draw will do.’
‘A draw?’
‘There’ve been several. That would be enough. I suppose we had better go.’ Julia got out of her chair, but Claudia had one more question.
‘But what about Ferdinand?’
Julia just laughed. ‘Oh, Claudia, where Elaine goes Ferdinand surely follows!’
On her way home, Claudia had quite a bit to think about. The exam results and Stella didn’t really worry her anymore. What was worrying, however, were the events coming up on the weekend. She wished that she was not as important as other people thought she was. The future of the college and the future of some really nice people depended on their orchestra doing well. As she came into her street, she realised that the immediate problem was to get permission to go over to Boar Hill on Friday afternoon. As she walked in the front door, Kate called out to her. ‘Father called today. He is planning to come over in two or three weeks’ time, just as soon as he can get away. Isn’t that wonderful?’
This was indeed great news. Claudia missed her father, and all of the family activities that they used to her when he was at home. She was sure he would have some fantastic stories to tell her about his experiences in Saudi Arabia.
‘Your exam results are out tomorrow. How do you feel?’ Kate called up from the kitchen. She was now aware of some of the problems that Claudia had at school, and knew that the exam results could cause trouble.
‘I’m fine. I actually hope that I do well. Do you know that I now have some friends who worked hard for the exams, and who are hoping to get good results? Why shouldn’t they? And why shouldn’t I?’
Kate was quite surprised at just how positive Claudia was being.
‘Is Stella leaving you alone these days?’
‘No,’ Claudia replied. ‘It’s just that I don’t care what they think anymore. They’re very silly. In fact, I do think that Stella probably has problems of her own.’
Kate smiled. This was a different Claudia speaking now. Had she changed? Or was she just asserting herself? Did it matter? She didn’t think so because what was important was that Claudia seemed to be in control. Kate knew when to stay out, so she changed the topic.
‘We’ll have to do something special for Father when he gets home. Do you have any ideas?’
Claudia knew instantly what she would like.
‘A picnic on Port Meadow! A special picnic with lots of good food, over near the river somewhere. And I’ll play something nice for Father on my flute.’
‘Great idea,’ Kate said. ‘I’ll work on that.’
‘By the way, Kate.’ Claudia saw her opportunity as Kate appeared to be in a good mood. ‘This Friday, I’d like to practise my flute with my friend Julia – after school. I’d be home a little later than usual. Is that okay?’
Kate knew that the big changes in Claudia were due in no small measure to her new friends, so she had to bend and be more flexible.
‘That’s okay. Claudia, try not to be too late.’
That evening, in her room, Claudia lay on her bed, deeply thoughtful about the changes that had been swirling around her. Everything seemed to be changing so quickly. She loved Elaine’s spirit, her determination to be herself, to be free. Claudia looked at Aragorn. He was timeless. He stood there with his charger, sword in hand, ever ready to defend the weak and oppose the forces of evil. He was a warrior who had arrived to fight the evil forces that threatened the shire. Had anything changed? she wondered. But she now knew there was room for her.
On Sunday there would be a great battle on Port Meadow. Would Ferdinand be Aragorn and help them defeat the enemy? She thought not. He deserted Elaine when she needed him. Perhaps Finn would step up and lead them to victory. It was to be a battle, a final battle, and she would be part of it. It was thrilling, and she was determined to do her utmost to help her friends. It was also a little frightening.
She walked over and looked at herself in the mirror. You look the same, Claudia, but are you? she asked. She felt different somehow, something had come out in her but she couldn’t explain what it was. In the end did it matter? Does it matter, Claudia Flute? she asked. If you’re ready for the battle, does it matter? She was tired. Tomorrow was another day. She went back to bed and soon drifted off to sleep under the watchful gaze of Aragorn.
The following morning at school, there was a great deal of excitement. Girls were running up and down corridors, there was a lot of noise and the whole school seemed just a little scatty. It was exam results day. It was a tradition at the school that the prize lists were posted on the noticeboard at lunchtime. This meant that some girls were excited, some were anxious and of course some were not overly interested.
At the tea break, Claudia found Louise at the bottom of the stairwell leading into the playground. Louise looked a little anxious, which rather surprised Claudia, because Louise was normally a cool head.
‘Hi, Claudia, how are you? I suppose you’re expecting to do well? I’m hoping for a good result in English today.’
‘You shouldn’t have a problem,’ Claudia replied.
‘I know I’ve done quite well in all the sporty stuff, but I tried really hard in English because I want to be a teacher and English is really important for that.’
‘I hope you do really, really well, Louise,’ Claudia replied. ‘My bag is maths and music, as you know. I’ll take whatever I get – oh, here
’s Emma!’ Emma joined them.
‘Any rumours?’ she asked.
‘You’ve got to be kidding,’ Louise laughed. ‘You should do okay though, Em.’ Emma was a good all-rounder, but she especially liked history and Claudia thought she would do well at that.
‘I’m not really fussed at all,’ Emma said. ‘I’ve worked quite well, but this year I’ve been trying to improve my tennis. I’d like to be half as good as Louise.’
Louise laughed. ‘There’s a tennis school at north Oxford, a summer school that starts up in three or four weeks’ time. Why don’t you come, Em?’ Louise asked.
‘Terrific. I’ll get the details later. That would certainly lift my game, and it’d be a lot of fun as well.’ Emma looked particularly pleased with the idea of a tennis camp.
‘How about you, Claudia?’ Louise asked.
‘I’d be absolutely hopeless at tennis! Haven’t decided yet what I’ll do over the break. One piece of good news is that Father is coming back from Saudi Arabia in a week or two.’
‘That’s good news. Sounds like family hols!’ Emma chimed in.
‘Hope so, but you can never tell. It could all fall down at the last minute.’
‘Well, there’s a spare racket at the tennis camp if you want it,’ Louise said very positively. ‘It’s just like holding a flute, Claudia, except you have to swing it!’ Claudia laughed a lot at this, but underneath she really appreciated Louise’s support.
Between morning tea and lunchtime, teachers had some difficulty in keeping the girls focussed on their schoolwork. They were just a little edgy, and when the bell rang for lunchtime there was a rush to the door and suddenly they were all out in the playground. Even as she approached the noticeboard, Claudia knew that her name was there. Emma was smiling broadly at her, but she could see Stella scowling in the background.
Even as Emma pointed to the notice board, Claudia could see her name on the lists. She was first in maths and first in music! A wonderful result! It was better than she had expected, given that so much else had been going on around her. Louise came second in English and got the sports prize. Claudia couldn’t see Emma’s name on the lists. However, Emma was the first to come over and pat her on the back and congratulate her.
‘Well done, Claudia!’ she exclaimed. ‘That’s a brilliant result.’ Claudia really didn’t know how to accept praise from a classmate. It was the first time that it had happened. All that she could think to say was something silly, like ‘I got lucky’.
‘Luck my foot! It’s sheer talent at work, and good luck to you.’ At that very moment, Claudia felt a push in her back. She turned around and there was Stella.
‘So the swot got a prize? I’ll bet you crawled to the teachers, you little grub!’
Emma was about to say something, but Claudia got in first.
‘Who cares what you think, Stella? Not me, not the teachers, not—’ Before she could finish, Emma jumped in front of Stella.
‘Not us!’
‘And not me!’ said someone standing behind Stella. Stella turned around, angry and red-faced, only to find Louise, who was clearly very annoyed.
‘My name is up there, Stella. Am I a crawler too? And look at that black ink mark on the back of Claudia’s shirt. You put that there! I saw you do it!’
Stella’s jaw dropped. She knew she was in deep trouble. Emma had turned Claudia around and there was a long black stripe running down the back of Claudia’s shirt. It was completely ruined.
‘I – I – I didn’t do it!’ Stella looked very flustered ‘Don’t blame me! It wasn’t me!’
Louise was not head girl for nothing. She saw her chance.
‘A coward on top of everything else?’ Louise shouted as loudly as she could. ‘Everyone – and I mean everyone – is finished with you, Stella!’
Everyone was looking and listening, and Stella panicked and bolted, calling out something spiteful as she went. Stella had called out to her cronies to follow her, but hardly anyone moved. Some even looked ashamed of what had happened and turned away.
‘What a shame about your shirt,’ Emma said. ‘I don’t think that mark will come out.’
‘Actually, it’s not the first time. I used to hide my shirts so that Mother wouldn’t ask any questions, but now I think I’ll just tell her what happened.’
‘Tell her that it’s the price of fame!’ Louise tried to make a joke of it.
‘I will. At least now I can tell her. Thanks a lot, both of you. And, Louise, congrats again on your English results.’
In the remaining classes that afternoon, Claudia noticed that girls who normally didn’t have much to say to her were actually trying to be nice. That was a definite change for the better, and she was quite certain that Stella had been the big loser. Later that afternoon, as she walked in the front door of their terrace, she heard her mother call out from the back garden.
‘Is that you Claudia? I’m out here in the back garden.’
Claudia took a deep breath as she walked through the patio doors into the garden. ‘Kate,’ she called out, ‘I’ve got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?’
That very afternoon, Oliver Sloan was to be seen scurrying down a side street in St Giles. He went through a door, up a flight of steps and then knocked on a door that carried a sign that read ‘Birdwatchers – Oxford Branch’. He went in to be confronted by a rather imposing lady. She was tall, had blond hair and rather sharpish features, and had obviously only just arrived in the office, because she was still wearing her gumboots and an outdoor khaki shirt. A recently used walking stick was slung across the desk.
‘What can I do for you, my good sir?’ she asked. Sloan did his usual shuffle.
‘I read that you’re having a beginners’ group out on Port Meadow on Saturday. I’m interested in birds and I wondered if I could join.’
‘What birds?’ This question took Oliver Sloan completely by surprise.
‘All sorts of birds – does it matter?’
‘Usually people in a group like ours have their favourites. You know, ones they like to spot.’
Sloan was stumped, but he did his best.
‘I like the little ones,’ he said, trying to look confident.
‘The little ones?’ The tall lady gave him a very hard look. ‘Oh well, to each his own! We are looking for members, after all. It’s five pounds for Saturday afternoon. My name is Frances Bullivant. You are?’ Dr Sloan drew himself up to his full height.
‘I am Dr Sloan from—’
‘—Full name! And we don’t use titles!’ Dr Sloan could see that this was a lady not to be argued with.
‘Oliver Sloan.’
‘All right, Oliver, turn up on Saturday. Wear the right gear. Roughly what I’ve got on. Plus binoculars and a camera. Also a notepad. We meet here at 1 pm. Would you mind signing the register?’ Sloan smiled as he scrawled his signature. This looked as though it would suit his purposes very well indeed. As he left, Frances looked at his scrawled signature.
‘I don’t know. I just don’t know. Little ones? Even a sparrow would’ve done. I might need to keep an eye on that one.’
The following Friday morning, Oliver Sloan duly turned up at the masters study for an appointment that Dr Fennell had requested. He wondered what he wanted. Maybe he could guess. But, at any rate, he had a first-class surprise for him.
‘Come in, Sloan.’ Marcus Fennell ushered Sloan into his room and sat him down in the Chesterfield armchair.
‘I thought we should talk. The final is on Sunday and I wanted to know how young Chin Li is shaping up. You’ve been looking after him, haven’t you?’
‘Of course, Master, of course! I’ve only just finished talking to him. Made sure he was practising, keeping to schedule, that kind of thing.’
‘He’s only very young. Don’t screw up on this, Sloan! You’re not being t
oo hard on him?’
‘Of course not. He’s fine. He’ll do well on Sunday.’
These were just opening questions from Dr Fennell. His real concerns were elsewhere. ‘Now, what have you heard? I asked you to keep your ear to the ground. What’s that Helen Brown up to?’
‘Nothing, as far as I can tell. I asked the porters to tell me if they saw anything unusual, to tell me of any comings and goings – but nothing so far.’ The master didn’t like this answer.
‘Sloan! The porters are unlikely to tell you anything. They don’t like you. They do like Helen Brown. You’ll have to do better than that, Sloan. You do understand how important this is?’
Dr Sloan shuffled about in his chair. ‘Listen, Master, I may learn something more on Saturday. I have a clever plan. I’ve joined a group of birdwatchers and on Saturday I’ll be able to get up close and see where they’re at and what they’re doing.’
‘I don’t care what the birds are doing, Sloan!’ the master shouted. Dr Sloan almost fell out of his chair. The master was slowly turning purple.
‘I mean – you misunderstood – I’ll be watching the orchestra practise – in disguise as a birdwatcher. And I’m taking my camera.’ The master reeled back in his chair with a look of utter disbelief on his face, but then he realised that Sloan was all he had.
‘Look, Sloan, get yourself together, man! It might be better if you do nothing.’
‘No, no, I’m confident that I’ll come up with something.’
‘If you come up with one photograph of a bird, you’re fired, Sloan!’ Dr Fennell looked quite exasperated. ‘There is an awful lot riding on this, and I have a lot to lose, so for goodness’ sake get it right this time, Sloan.’ He got up from his chair and ushered Sloan to the door. He had a last-minute thought as Sloan went through the door.
‘By the way, you don’t know anything about a firm of London solicitors, do you?’
Sloan was now confused. ‘No, nothing at all – absolutely nothing!’
‘Hmm. I thought so. Dr Brown was bluffing. It was just a bluff to keep her job.’