Bent

by HB Heinzer

  Julia's foot slipped as she reached the top step. Micah dipped down grabbing her arm to keep her from tumbling down the stairs. He'd been watching her. She hated that, partly because she had to be grateful and partly because it proved that he was paying attention to her.

  Back at the table, Annie looked bored beyond belief. "Hey, told you to come downstairs with us," Julia said as she sat on the stool so she could rub her sore ankle. She couldn't figure out why she'd let Annie talk her into wearing heels. "Missed a hell of a game," she laughed.

  "Yeah? Micah carried you through the game like always?" Annie seemed rather confident in the outcome of the game.

  "You wanna tell her or should I?" Julia asked. She brushed her finger nail down Micah's sculpted abs. She had just enough alcohol in her to believe she could remain unaffected while toying with him. This was a game she was playing to win. And she was winning if his posture change told her anything.

  Micah quickly regained his composure draping his arm around Julia. They were getting into a sparring match that was likely to have no winners. "Oh, I think you should tell her," he whispered into her ear gently nipping the lobe as he pulled away.

  Annie looked frustrated and elated all at the same time, "I don't care who tells me as long as someone tells me." She no longer looked bored, she looked more like a kid on Christmas morning. Julia started to question the crossed heart earlier in the night. Annie was far too anxious for good news.

  "We lost. Sparky here can't shoot to save his damned life and he insisted on distracting me." She wasn't going to shoulder the blame for their loss. If he'd shot half as well as he used to, they would have won. Hands down.

  With one eyebrow raised, Annie looked directly at Micah, "Is that so?"

  "What can I say? Everyone's bound to have a bad night once in a while." He shrugged, giving Annie a look that dared her to call him a liar.

  Rather than calling him out, Annie looked back to Julia, "So, he's not so hot with a stick and balls, huh?"

  The women both roared at the comment. "Pretty much."

  Micah excused himself in search of safer ground. He'd waited for her to cave and say there was no way she'd go to dinner with him but she hadn't. Instead of shooting him down, she seemed eager to spend time together. She was flirting with him. He liked it but had to stop it. Once he talked to her, he was certain Julia wouldn't want to be anywhere near him.

  Ashley was sitting on a picnic table outside when he walked through the doors. He figured she was just the person he needed to talk to. "Hey, Ash. Rough night?"

  She rolled her head from side to side in an effort to ease the tension building in her shoulders, "You have no clue. Business is good, but damn, this band brought some assholes into the bar with them." She went on to recap two near fights, a guy they kicked out for grabbing women on the dance floor and a higher than average number of women throwing themselves at her co-workers.

  Micah stood behind her and started rubbing the knots out of her neck. "Sounds rough." Because of their close relationship, they both knew there were rumors they were sleeping together.

  In reality, Ashley Millgrove was the big sister Micah never had. She'd seen him at his lowest points and never shied away from telling him when he was being a dick. In turn, he told her exactly what he thought of every guy she dated after they had come into the bar.

  She'd listened to him when things got tough and he had no clue what to do. He wished it wasn't so busy tonight so he could get her advice.

  "It's not so bad," she said. He could feel the tension melting from her shoulders. "At least the tips are good."

  "Well there's a silver lining," he didn't want to disrupt her smoke break with his problems. Chances were good it'd take an entire shift to sort out everything Micah had screwed up and she would be going back to work in a few minutes.

  Ashley turned so her legs were hanging off the end of the table and she was looking at Micah. "Enough about me. What's up with Annie's friend?" He should have known she'd have seen them together. It didn't matter how busy she was, Ashley didn't miss anything.

  "I was going to talk to you about that..." he paused while he tried to think of the best way to ask Ashley's opinion. He'd never cared about saying the right thing but this was do or die. He had one chance to make things right with Julia. "Do you think people can change?"

  "I think so but it depends on the situation. I take it you didn't meet her tonight?"

  In some ways, it felt like he'd met her tonight. Julia was so different from the girl he'd been head over heels in love with as a teenager. He'd told her all the time that she needed to learn to stand up for herself when people used her. If tonight was any indication, she was now an expert at speaking her mind.

  "You could say that," he mumbled avoiding eye contact with Ashley.

  Ashley leaned back on her hand like she had all the time in the world. "So, what did she do?"

  How could she know everything she knew about Micah and still jump to the conclusion that Julia would have been the one to do something wrong? She was one of the sweetest, most honest people he knew. It bothered him that this is where Ashley's mind went at his question.

  "Not her. Me." Micah explained everything to Ashley. If nothing else, he figured it would help him figure out how to say the same things to Julia.

  She deserved to know everything before the stupid dinner he'd roped them into by throwing the pool game. He'd planned on her refusal when he made the bet and she called his bluff. Now that he was talking to Ash, he wished he'd kept his mouth shut.

  "First, I think you're damned lucky she didn't slap you when you walked up to her," Ashley jabbed a finger into Micah's chest to punctuate her point. "And second, if you still love her as much as I think you do, you need to be honest with her."

  "I don't--" How could she think he was still in love with Julia? Sure, he enjoyed seeing her and had fun dancing and shooting pool with her, but that wasn't love. Love didn't figure into any of this, he just needed to clear the air with her.

  "Don't try to deny it. You don't get flustered over women. You've never once asked my opinion about a woman until tonight. That means something. That means she is something special." She hopped off the picnic table and grabbed Micah for a quick hug. "Just do me a favor, don't do anything that'll cause a scene here. I don't need the cops in here tonight."

  Once she was back inside, Micah sat on the table while he tried to put everything together in his mind. This was his chance to make things right and he wasn't about to blow it. As he stood to face the music, Julia walked through the door. He froze, captivated by the way the wind caught her wheat blond hair.

  If only he'd asked Gran what she meant about Julia, maybe he'd have stayed home and he could have avoided this...

  Chapter Three

  "What in the hell was that?" Julia barked as she stormed onto the deck. Micah sank back into the picnic table, preparing himself for what was bound to be a long conversation.

  The playful mood from just a few minutes earlier had evaporated. As much as Micah wasn't ready to bare the depth of his transgressions to playful Julia, he'd sure as hell rather confess to her than to the one standing before him now. "What was what?"

  "All of it. The dance. The game. The dinner," Julia hissed. She didn't stop herself until she was standing directly in front of him with her shins pressed into the seat of the picnic table. "You can't expect things to be just like they used to be. They're not. You made sure of that."

  While he hadn't consciously been trying to fall back into old habits, it was easy to do with Julia. He'd spent thirteen years imagining what it would be like if they had another chance. If he hadn't lied to her. Micah wasn't dumb enough to think he could ever have that chance but that wasn't going to stop him from enjoying a few alcohol-induced moments of happiness.

  He wondered what happened in the minutes he'd been outside that caused her mood shift. "I'm sorry," he whispered, "I shouldn't have bet on dinner like that. Don't worry, I'll pay."

&nb
sp; "Seriously? You think this is about having to buy dinner for Austin and Lizzie?" She pulled the ponytail holder from her hair so she could wring her hands through it. The scent of her mandarin body wash assaulted Micah's senses. That, combined with the way her breasts were pushed up and closer to him when she lifted her arms made his jeans feel a size too small.

  "I don't give a damn about the money. It's the company," she spat.

  It was a dangerous move, but Micah decided to have a little fun with her. It wasn't right, he knew that, but mad Julia was better than no Julia at all. And even though she kind of scared him, angry Julia was sexy. "But I thought you got along with Austin and Lizzie?"

  She threw her hands in the air and growled, "It's not them. It's you. I could go out to dinner with them every night of the damned week. It's you that I don't think I can sit through one meal with."

  "You're right. I'm sorry."

  She wrapped her arms around her middle as she shivered. He slipped off his leather jacket and went to wrap it around her shoulders. He felt her jerk away before reluctantly accepting it. "Thank you," she grumbled.

  They were both silent for a minute before Micah reached for her hand and pulled her next to him on the picnic table. She resisted briefly before her posture relaxed and she joined him.

  Instead, she bumped his shoulder playfully, "I suppose you think I'm being stupid." There was a sadness in her eyes that shattered his heart. It wasn't anger that fueled her outburst, it was pain. Micah's head was spinning with her rapid mood swings.

  Micah sat there for a minute stroking the back of her hand with his thumb. He had built himself up for the explosive fallout their relationship never had. He wasn't prepared for any other emotion. "No, you're not the stupid one. I was. I am." He grabbed an empty beer bottle from behind him and started chipping away the label. "So, you're really back?"

  "Yep. At least for now." The conversation was strained. That wasn't surprising but it hurt to know just how much had changed between them. This was his Jules, the girl he used to talk to for hours that seemed like minutes. The girl who always smiled and laughed.

  Julia's eyes were drawn to Micah's throat as he swallowed hard, "How do we make it so it's not like this?" he pleaded. Realizing how much he missed her friendship. Even when they'd fought, there was never the tension that was hanging in the air around them. "It's a small town and I'd rather not have things be weird between us."

  Her answer was simple. "Honesty."

  The one thing she asked for was the one thing that could make everything between them even worse. Micah knew that would be her answer and he'd already promised himself to give her that but her asking for it was painful.

  "Okay," he said softly.

  Julia raised her eyebrow at his acceptance of her demand, "Complete honesty, no matter what. You get that, right? It's not going to change anything, so there's no point in lying anymore."

  His hand squeezed her fingers staring into her ice blue eyes. "Yep. The whole truth."

  "Why did you leave?" she asked quietly.

  It was the only logical starting point but that didn't make it any easier to put into words. He thought back to the night he'd told her he was leaving because he didn't think he could handle a long distance relationship. He remembered the tears streaming down her face as she pounded his chest.

  "You know I'd never hurt you on purpose, right?" Micah asked. She simply shook her head, her eyes focused on the seat belt buckle at his hip. "Please, look at me Julia," his voice cracked.

  "But you're going to, right?" Her eyes lifted to meet his as the first teardrop rolled down her cheek and landed on his thumb.

  Micah's chest tightened as he tried to find the right words and the courage to follow through with breaking Julia's heart. "Yeah, I think I am," he said flatly. If he didn't get this over with, he knew there was no way he'd be able to leave her and he knew that would lead to more lies. "I'm sorry, but..."

  "Just stop," she begged. Her chest heaving with sobs.

  "I don't want to do this, baby, but it'll be easier this way. You're going away and I just really don't think I can do this."

  Anger replaced sadness and her eyes shot into him like daggers. "You're a jerk!" The side of Julia's balled fist made sharp contact with Micah's chest. "We talked about this and you said we'd make it work. You promised me."

  "I know. I'm sorry. I just can't do it. I can't stand the thought of you being over two hours away and only being able to see you on the weekends." He hated himself for lying, but he had to. "I'm sorry. I do love you."

  "Save it. If you really loved me, you'd find a way. We promised we would find a way." Julia couldn't believe he was leaving her because she was going to school in ten days. She reached into the backseat for her purse and nearly hit him with it as she tried to escape the car before she lost it again.

  "I do love you. It just has to be this way." Micah reached for her, trying to keep her in the car with him, not ready to say goodbye.

  Julia looked down at Micah's hand digging into her bicep and narrowed her eyes as she brought them up to meet his. She could feel the anger rising from the depths of her stomach. "Why, Micah? Why does it have to be this way?" She tried to jerk free from his grip but he wasn't ready to let her go. "Micah, just let me go," she begged, pulling away from him.

  "Baby, I'm sorry." He knew breaking her heart would crush him. He wished he was man enough to be honest. Now that he'd essentially blamed her for the breakup because she was going away to school it was too late for the truth. "It's me. I don't think I can do it. I really thought I could, but now that it's almost time for you to go, I can't." He gave into his own emotions, no longer able to hold back the tears.

  "I just don't get it. We promised..."

  "I know. I don't know how to say I'm sorry enough. I just can't," his gaze met hers, both of them looking confused more than anything. "And I couldn't let you go to school knowing that I can't do it."

  Her gaze was fixed on the straps of her purse. "I guess I have more faith in us than you do." And with that, she reached for the door handle and slipped into the night.

  He thought about following after her, but he told himself that this was his decision. His mistake. There was nothing good that would come from him prolonging the split. He sat there watching her sulk into the house. It took him another ten minutes before he could pull away.

  When he didn't answer, she pressed the issue, "You promised me the truth. Did you leave me because I was going to school?" The staccato in her voice told him it was do or die time. He looked up and saw tears welling along her lower eye lid.

  "No," he mumbled rubbing the palm of his hand down his face.

  After taking a few deep breaths, she whispered, "Okay. So why?"

  He glanced over his shoulder, "Does it matter now?"

  "Yes, it matters. You wanted to know what I need so things aren't weird between us. I need this." The strength in her voice told him that while she didn't know about Caleb, she knew something.

  Micah reached over to wipe the tear that was rolling down her cheek, "Because I cheated on you and couldn't tell you."

  The truth was out. The truth she'd heard from friends within months of leaving finally came from his mouth. She'd imagined this day many times over the years. Never had she expected to feel relief at him admitting what he'd done. She'd envisioned slapping him, throwing things at him, even breaking down in tears but never relief.

  Julia pressed him for details. She didn't want to know and it wouldn't change anything but she needed to know. Micah hesitated at first, pleading with her to leave it alone. He told her it wasn't anyone she knew and it wouldn't change anything. When she stood to leave, he started talking.

  It happened at a party at Micah's brother's place. They'd been fighting about Julia leaving for school and Micah started drinking. The next morning, he woke up with one of his brother's friends tangled in the sheets with him. He promised that was everything, that he'd never cheated with her other than that one night.r />
  A tear rolled down Micah's cheek as he begged her to forgive him. For cheating. For lying to her. For making her think she was to blame for anything.

  "Thank you," she whispered in his ear as she pulled him close to her. There was no anger, just love. It was a different type of love than she used to feel for him but it felt good to know that everything was out in the open.

  He pulled away when he felt her forehead against his temple. "There's more."

  Julia stomach turned. She'd gotten this far without getting upset. What more could there be?

  "I'm so sorry, baby." Micah's voice was barely audible, "You know how you thought Caleb was mine and Carly's?"

  Everything she'd had to drink started to make its way up from her stomach. "He is?"

  "Oh, God no!" Micah shot up, "I told you that earlier. But... I'm so sorry..." he started pacing from one end of the table to the other, wringing his hands in his hair. "That's the night that Caleb... you know..."

  Julia twisted on the top of the picnic table and jumped off the other side. She needed to get away. There were too many emotional swings for her body to process. She retreated to the picnic table to finish the conversation. "Did you know... that night?"

  "Yes," he admitted. Still pacing, Micah didn't make eye contact.

  The anger she thought she'd feel had arrived. "You are a filthy coward," she spat. "Tell Austin and Lizzie I can't make it tomorrow night. I'm sure you'll have no problem coming up with an excuse."

  She flinched as their shoulders touched when she plowed past him. She had the answers she needed. It was time to go. She didn't see Annie as she walked through the bar so she kept walking. She'd call her later and let her know what was going on.

  First, she had to get over the fact that everyone in her life kept the fact that Micah had a child from her. Now there was a constant reminder of Micah's infidelity walking the streets of their small town. The longer she stayed here, the more likely she would run into his love child. As much as she swore she was over Micah, that thought crushed her.