Complete Me? The Trust Me? Trilogy
Page 14
“Right then, what’s this all about?” Aiden asks.
I can feel my body tense as I watch Jeni trying to decipher what’s going on in her head.
“It’s about your father, Aiden,” Callie whispers and Aiden relaxes.
“From the grave he’s still causing trouble. What’s he done now?” Aiden assumes, and I exhale.
“No, sweetheart, you see just before I got married to Alistair, Mike and I, well we… you know—”
“Okay, right, yeah I get it, but I don’t need the details of your… togetherness,” Aiden says with a chuckle.
“No Aiden, you don’t understand, Mike and I slept together—”
“Yep, I got that part,” Aiden announces with a grimace.
“Honey, nine months later you were born,” Callie says and Jeni gasps as her hand rises to her mouth. She looks at Aiden who’s staring blankly into space.
“I… don’t… I don’t know what you’re saying?” Aiden says confused.
Jeni rests her hand on his arm and I can see he’s starting to figure it out.
“Aiden, Mike is your biological father,” Callie says and she starts to cry. I look at Aiden and he looks like he’s gasping for air.
“I don’t understand, did Father… I mean Alistair know?” he asks calmly.
“No, honey, he had no idea,” Callie admits and Aiden stands abruptly, his chair falling backwards and hitting the ground with a thud.
“So all this time… all these years of torment I went through with Father… fuck - Alistair and he wasn’t even my real Dad. What the fuck Mom?” Aiden questions as his eyes start to water.
“Aiden, sweetheart, I know it’s a lot to take in, and I know how hard this must be for you—”
“Do you? Do you really? If you knew how hard it would be for me then, why keep it a secret for thirty-fucking-four years? And why tell me now?” Aiden raises his voice and Jeni stands to try and comfort him.
“I told them they had to tell you,” I admit and Aiden looks at me with hard eyes.
“You knew?” he yells.
He walks over and before I can react his fist slams hard into my jaw.
“Aiden!” Jeni calls out as I fall back in the chair. My face hurts like a bitch and I’m sure I heard something crunch.
“You fucking knew and you didn’t tell me? What kind of fucking friend are you?” Aiden yells. “And you… you’ve been in my life for its entirety and you never thought once that you should tell me that you’re my father?” Aiden asks.
Mike shakes his head not knowing what to say. “I’m sorry Aiden, I really—”
“Oh, shut the fuck up, you’re not sorry! God, I don’t even know who you are Mike!” Aiden yells and then storms inside.
I nurse my saw jaw, as Jeni wipes tears from her face.
“Chris, I’m so sorry, I’m sure he didn’t mean to hurt you,” Jeni cries as she comes over and checks my bruised jaw.
“No, it’s fine, I deserved it, I should’ve told him sooner, but I only found out last night and he was having such a good time, I didn’t want to be the one to tell him. Apart from that it wasn’t my secret to tell. I wanted to give Mike and Callie a chance to do it,” I say as Sarah puts her cold can of cola on my jaw.
“I better go find him,” Jeni says, looking across at Callie.
“You should have told him,” Jeni berates and then walks inside.
“I’m sorry Chris, I thought if he was going to punch anyone it would’ve been me. Are you okay?” Mike questions.
“I’m fine, nothing a bag of frozen peas won’t fix. It’s okay, Mike, don’t feel bad, we knew he wouldn’t be happy about it, and you always take it out on the people you hold close. I don’t take any offense, and I’d rather he hit me than you,” I say. I hear Aiden yelling upstairs, I can’t make out what he’s saying, but I can vaguely hear Jeni is trying to calm him down.
“Maybe we should go?” Sarah suggests as she caresses my cheek.
I nod.
“Are you guys going to be okay?” Sarah asks Callie and Mike and they nod.
Poor Mike looks heart broken. I think he was hoping that Aiden would secretly be happy about it. And I know he will be once he gets over the shock of it all. We don’t see Aiden again before we pick up the kids and drive home.
“That was intense,” Sarah says breaking the silence as we walk to the front door.
“Tell me about it, I’ve seen Aiden angry before, but he was furious. Not that I blame him, I can’t even imagine what he’s going through right now,” I say as I fumble with the keys in the door lock. It eventually opens and we walk in and put the kids in bed.
“Do you think he’ll forgive us? I mean what happens if he never wants to talk to us again? I can’t lose Jeni, Chris,” Sarah admits as she cuddles into my side.
“I know baby, and I honestly don’t know what I’d do without Aiden and Jeni either, even Brody – I absolutely love that kid. I just hope that he can forgive us, but more importantly, I hope he can forgive Callie and Mike. I think that’s going to be the hardest one for him to deal with. I can’t even imagine how Mike is feeling right now, probably relieved to have it all out in the open, but heartbroken at the same time. I just… I hope Aiden can come back from this, you know?” I ask and Sarah nods.
“Well babe you will always have me and the kids. We’ll never abandon you… not ever! And if Aiden doesn’t want anything to do with us then we’ll deal with it together, okay?” Sarah reassures and I nod.
“Yeah, well, I need something to take my mind off it,” I say.
“Well, the kids are asleep, I can think of something to keep us occupied,” she insinuates raising her eyebrows up and down. I smile and she takes my hand and leads me to our bedroom.
She pushes me down onto the bed and pulls off her top throwing it to the floor. She’s so fucking sexy right now and I guess a distraction is just what I need. She leans down and kisses me lifting my shirt up over my head.
“Baby, do you know how much I desire you?” I ask and she smirks.
“Fuck yeah, I do.”
Cherish You?
~ Aiden & Jeni ~
Chapter Thirteen
I run upstairs to get away from them. All of them… all of them, who have been lying to my face for how long? How could they do that to me? After everything I’ve been through? I storm to the bedroom and start to pace the floor. My thoughts are running a million miles an hour.
Mike is my father?
Mike. Is. My. Father?
What the fuck?
I pace some more, while I run my hand through my hair. My heart is pounding in my chest so fast I feel like I might pass out. Is it a dream? Some horrible nightmare that I need to wake up from? Alistair was my father, the only father I’ve known. He wasn’t a great father, but he was my father. Knowing now, that I could’ve had a different relationship with my real father, a father who really cared about me makes me furious. But he chose not to tell me… he chose to leave me to be brought up by a father who really only cared about himself and his money. This only makes me believe that he’s ashamed to call me his son.
I trusted Mike, with everything. Now, our entire relationship is built on a lie. How can we get past this? Do I even want to get past it? A drop of sweat runs down my temple and drops to the floor. My breathing is rushed and harsh. I hear footsteps on the staircase, coming toward me.
I look at the door, hoping, but also dreading, that it will be Mike – my father.
My, father?
I’m so, damn confused. Why didn’t they tell me? Why keep this big massive secret for my entire life? And why the fuck, tell me three weeks before their wedding? What the hell is that all about? Why tell me now? I rub the back of my neck; my head is a pounding scrambled mess of emotions.
Jeni walks through the door. My stiff posture relaxes instantly. She rushes to my side and wraps her arms around me.
“I had no idea babe, I swear.”
“How could they?”
She
shakes her head. “I don’t know Aiden, but maybe you should come down and talk to them? But more importantly, you need to apologize to Chris for punching him,” Jeni berates.
Suddenly I feel the pain in my knuckles. I hadn’t noticed it before, but now I can feel it, throbbing. I rub my knuckles with my other hand and suddenly I’m angry. Furious even.
“No, fuck Chris, he deserved it. How long had he known for, huh? And he didn’t even have the decency to tell me. No, our friendship is over with them. If Chris knew, Sarah did too, so she’s just as much to blame as he is. Fuck them both. And fuck Mike. And don’t even get me started with my mother,” I yell.
Jeni bites her bottom lip. I don’t mean to yell at her, but I can’t help it.
“Aiden, look, I know you’re angry. I know you’re hurting, but don’t take it out on Chris and Sarah, they only found out late last night at the bachelor party. It’s not like they’ve known for years, so you have to give them some credit. They were the ones who told Mike he had to tell you—”
“Yeah, well, maybe they shouldn’t have told me. Then everything would be fine right now and I wouldn’t be here wondering who the hell I am, and what this all means?”
“What do you mean, who you are? You know who you are Aiden. It doesn’t change anything about you at all. You’re still the same person.”
I scoff and then laugh. “Yeah, right, Jeni. This changes everything. What the hell am I supposed to do now? Do they want me to change my last name to O’Leary, instead of O’Connell? That means you and the kids will need to change your surnames too. This doesn’t just affect me, Jeni, this affects you too. Everything is different. I work in the family business… a family I’m no longer a part of. Brielle should take over the company. I’m not even an O’Connell, so how can I run O’Connell Finance, huh? That just doesn’t make sense. See, Jeni, everything is fucked now!” I yell.
She reaches out to take my hand, but I flinch away. I’m so angry I don’t want her touching me in case I lash out. I would never hurt her, not ever, but I can’t seem to control what’s coming out of my mouth.
“Aiden, slow down. There’s no need to leave the business. If you’re really worried about it, then talk to Brielle, but I already know what she’ll say,” she says calmly, while I pace the floor.
“What, that I’m no brother of hers and that she will take over. And then what baby? We’re not poor, but I have to find a way to keep up the lifestyle we’re accustomed to. Remember, if I’m not there, then you have no one to PA for. So basically we’re both jobless, with three kids. What if no one will hire us? What if—”
“Stop Aiden, just stop it. You’re worrying about something that won’t happen. Brielle loves you and even though you don’t have the same father, it doesn’t mean she’s not your sister. She would never take the business from you. You know that! And what’s with all this talk about needing money. You know we’re fine… more than fine, we don’t need money.”
I huff, and continue to pace. My thoughts are running crazy. This changes everything. My whole life is based on a lie, how does that even happen? Thirty-four years I’ve been living this lie, thinking, Father… Alistair, actually fathered me. And all this time… all this fucking time… I exhale again and start to pace some more. The wave of anger moves over me again. I walk over to the dresser, pick up the vase and throw it against the wall screaming out “fuck” as I do.
“Baby, stop! Look at me,” Jeni pleads. She walks over and takes my hands in hers. I hold back the waves of emotion as she looks right into my eyes.
“This doesn’t have to change anything, if you don’t want it to? I love you. I always will love you, and baby, I’m here for you no matter what you decide to do,” she almost whispers.
I look into her eyes, her saddened, wet green eyes and a new emotion hits me like a tidal wave. I can’t hold back a loud sob that escapes me. She exhales, while I fall to the floor. She follows me down and a river of tears flood my face. She holds on trying to comfort me in my moment of despair, anguish, anger, frustration, fear of the unknown – everything is too much for me right now. I should be the strong one, always. But, poor Jeni has to pick up my broken pieces as I rock back and forth in her arms.
“It’s okay, baby, let it all out,” she comforts me while she holds my head to her chest and strokes the side of my face, lovingly.
I continue to sob. She’s so amazing. I love her more than ever, right now.
“Why didn’t they tell me, when I was younger? I could’ve had a great life with Mike as my father,” I mumble.
Jeni leans down to kiss my head. “You still can Aiden. You just have to let him in. Hear their side of the story as to why they didn’t tell you? There must be a reason? How about, when you feel up to it, we head downstairs and talk to your mom and Mike? See what they have to say, huh?”
“I love you,” I confess wiping my nose with a hanky.
“I know, I love you too, but Mom and Mike will be freaking out downstairs. So, let me know when you’re ready and we’ll go down and face them together. We’re a team remember? I will always be by your side. No matter what, okay?”
I nod, while I exhale, letting all my frustration and negative energy out with my breath.
“I don’t think I’m ready just yet. Can I just hold you on the bed?” I ask and she half smiles.
“Of course, baby. Whatever you need,” she says, standing up. She reaches down for my hand and I follow her as she leads me over to our bed. She lies down, and I move in next to her. She cuddles into my chest, leaving no room between us. I need her! I just need to breathe her in. Her scent calms me and her skin against mine soothes my nerves. I know at this moment, that I cherish her more than words can say. I’m so thankful that she’s here with me right now, looking after me and just simply being.
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do?” I whisper.
“Baby, you do whatever you need to. Do what your gut is telling you. What your heart is telling you to do. Only you know where to go from here Aiden. I can’t help you with that. You’re the only one who knows what you want to happen from here. I will support you no matter what you choose to do. All I want is for you to be happy,” she smiles and leans up kissing my lips tenderly.
I’m so grateful to have her in my life.
“What would I do without you?” I exhale.
We lay there in silence as she runs circles over the shirt on my chest and I kiss her head every few minutes. She’s being so patient with me. I know Mom and Mike are waiting for me and I’ve been up here for well over an hour. I take in a deep breath and let it out slowly. Jeni looks up at me and I nod.
“Is it time?” she asks and I nod again.
She smiles and sits up on the bed looking back at me. “Just remember, I’m here. I will always be here. Do you want me to come with you?” she asks, my stomach flips at the thought of her not being there with me.
“Of course, I need you Jeni. You’re my oxygen – I can’t do this without you,” I say, while I start to panic.
“I’m proud of you babe.” She stands up and walks over to my side of the bed. She puts her hand out for me to take. Which I do. I interlace our fingers getting the extra strength I need from her. I stand up and walk with her out of our bedroom and downstairs to face my mom and my… father. I take each step slowly and Jeni keeps the same pace as me, trying not to rush me or force me down the stairs. She really is the best thing to ever happen to me. I look at her and she is watching me cautiously, I guess, gauging how I’m feeling.
Which is nervous as hell!
Why I am so nervous? I have no idea. What the hell is there to be nervous about? I guess even though I know Mike inside and out, I can’t help but feel like I’m meeting him for the first time. We get to the bottom of the stairs and Jeni winks at me as we round the corner walking toward the kitchen. My breathing is fast and few in-between. I don’t know why I’m feeling like this? I can’t tell if I’m angry, sad, frustrated, elated? – I have no idea what
I’m feeling. It's annoying the fuck out of me. Jeni squeezes my hand tighter as we walk into the kitchen/living room and Mom and Mike are sitting on the sofa. Mom is rubbing Mike’s back as he sits hunched over with his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. He looks miserable.
I guess I didn’t handle my reaction so well. I was only thinking about myself and how I was feeling. I didn’t stop to think, that the way I reacted would upset Mike. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still furious they didn’t tell me, but I guess the idea that Mike is my father is not such a terrible thing after all.
We walk to the sofa and I clear my throat getting their attention. They both quickly look up and Mom and Mike have both been crying. Both of their faces are red and I’m guessing that’s what they see in my face as well. Mom stands and walks over to me.
“Where’s Chris and Sarah?” I ask and Mom frowns.
“They went home, to give us some privacy,” Mom announces.
“Good,” I say, sternly.
“Aiden, don’t be hard on Chris, it’s not his fault. He just wants what’s best for you. You know that. Don’t be angry with him, he’s your best friend – he loves you,” Mike says and I scoff.
“Oh, honey. We never meant to upset you like this. We know it’s a hell of a lot to take in and to ask of you to understand right away, and we know how hard this must be for you to come to terms with. But, no matter what, remember we both love you, and we just want you to be happy,” Mom says with fresh tears filling her eyes.
I stand there in silence. I’m frozen to the spot. I have no idea what to say, or what to do? Jeni gently nudges my elbow and I look at her. She smiles with a nod.
I swallow and take in a deep breath. “I’m sorry I reacted the way I did. It’s just as you say, a lot to take in. There’s so many things that could change because of this new information. I just don’t even know where to start,” I murmur and run my hand through my hair.
“Aiden, this doesn’t have to change anything if you don’t want it to. I’m still Mike. You’re still you. Nothing has to change,” Mike announces.