The Odd Bunnies

by Sam Cullan

  Chapter Sixteen

  Will was lying on the sofa, sipping Zinfandel and nibbling a piece of vintage cheddar. He'd left Alice to get to sleep - it had been a traumatic and tiring day for him, and he was used to it. That poor girl, he mused, worrying that he might be corrupting a young life. She'd surely led a sheltered existence - acting in films from a young age - and probably hadn't seen much of the real world. He was more determined than ever not to allow her emotions to lead them into a sexual encounter. He'd even resisted the temptation to relieve himself, preferring to allow his libido to cool naturally. He would have felt dirty doing it with her in the house - doing it thinking of her.

  The TV was on, with subtitles and the sound turned down, so as not to disturb Alice. There was a film about women swapping homes for a holiday. There was little sex, no violence, no ghosts or monsters, and despite it being set at Christmas - which he hated with a passion because of the hypocrisy - it was a nice, easy, feel-good story which would take his mind off things. He particularly liked the old-timer who’d starred in one of his favourite westerns, il cattivo. Finishing the tasty cheese, he smoked a pre-rolled cigarette and finished the wine. He was tempted to stay where he was, but thought Alice might be offended if he ignored her. He decided if he didn't go to bed soon he'd fall asleep, so made a move for the bathroom.

  Alice was slumbering, but barely. She was hyped-up and horny, and had no easy release. Will crept into the bedroom without switching a light on, and felt his way to the bed. He took off his shirt and shorts. Shit. No underpants. Sod it. It was dark, he was tired, he'd risk it. Climbing into bed, he backed up to Alice and shut his eyes. She didn't move, there wasn't a murmur, so he shut his eyes and tried to dream of wholesome, earthy things. Within minutes he felt a prod in his back.

  “You're here.”

  “Shouldn't I be?”

  “I was waiting for you.”

  “Sorry.”

  Alice slipped an arm over his side and snuggled up. “You're naked.”

  Will felt her hot, sticky body, too. ”So are you.”

  “I was hot.”

  “I need to sleep, Alice.

  “Me too, but I can cuddle.”

  “Sure.” Will liked the cuddling. He settled down and tried again to dream of anything but a naked Alice. It wasn't easy, feeling her smooth, hot body, and she smelled so good he wanted to breathe her right in and just keep her there, inside him, forever. If he thought about anything other than Alice, and she aroused him, then he'd be caught in some perverse sexual cross-over fantasy, which he thought very unappealing. He hoped he'd fall asleep before he got aroused, and after that it wouldn't matter - he couldn't be held responsible for what happened when he was asleep. Could I? Alice was just glad to have Will back, close to her, and content to snuggle-up. She quickly relaxed and fell into a deep sleep. Will sensed it, and soon joined her.

  Will woke after some time, he was restless and needed the bathroom. Drifting across the floor and floating down the stairs, he arrived in his lounge. It was a full moon, and light filtered through the flimsy blue curtains. He looked around, thinking how odd the familiar shapes looked in the frivolous illumination. He pulled back a curtain to allow the moon to light a path to the bathroom, stopping to admire the clear autumn sky.

  Staring at the moon, he felt a sudden tingle, a shiver in his arms and chest. He rubbed them and flexed his shoulders. Turning to continue with his bathroom quest, he stopped and did a double-take. The shiver rushed back through his tightened arms and legs, and he froze. He wanted to call out, but when he opened his mouth his voice was absent. Will was shaking, his heart was thumping against his chest, but he couldn't move his arms or legs. He waited for the beast to attack, but it stood and stared at him, laughing, bright green eyes boring into his brain. The more he sweated and the heavier he breathed, the more the ghastly animal seemed to mock him. It seemed determined to scare him, quite literally, to death.

  Will wanted the terror to end, and death would be preferable to immobility and interminable fear. The monster before him was laughing, three heads uttering very different, screeching, mocking, ear-splitting noises. The donkey appeared to be floating six inches above the floor, though he could not see its feet. Will's eyes were paralysed, too, fixed in the stare of the creature that rode the donkey: a howling beast, arms and legs flailing, threatening to rip him apart and tear his flesh to pieces with razor-sharp teeth. As if to mock him further and increase the spectacle of his gruesome death, the monkey was crashing a pair of cymbals together. On its shoulder sat a colourful parrot, squawking and taunting Will in a language he didn't understand.

  Surely Alice would hear the noise and wake? Will was afraid for her, but also wished she'd prod him and somehow make his limbs work again. He opened his mouth and tried to scream her name, but either his voice had not returned or it was being drowned out by the caterwauling from the merciless creatures. Suddenly his wishes were granted, and he felt his arm move. He was going to get free and somehow beat the parrot to death, then the monkey; the donkey would be a challenge, but he had knives. If he could get to the kitchen and grab a twelve-inch knife, he'd slit the throats of all three tormentors.

  He felt a prod - Alice was with him. “Prod me Alice” Prod me!”

  “I am prodding you!”

  “Harder, harder!”

  Alice prodded harder. The monkey spotted her and Will feared for her life.

  “The monkey Alice! Prod the monkey - no - slap the monkey!”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Spank the bloody monkey Alice, before it jumps up and bites you!”

  “I think you should wake up, first.”

  “I'm trying, I need you to prod me.”

  “I need you to prod me, but I'm not screaming it for all the neighbours to hear.”

  “I'll prod you later, get me that knife!”

  “Whoaa there, you're kinda scaring me.”

  “You're scared? You don't have a monkey coming at you with a parrot. Kill the donkey!”

  Alice knew there was only one weapon with which to battle the evil menagerie, and luckily she'd brought it to bed with her. She picked up the glass and flung the contents in Will's face. He spluttered.

  “I'm drowning!”

  Alice slapped his face, probably harder than was truly necessary.

  “Get back, foul beasties!” Will was pushing her away, a hand on each breast.

  Alice threw back the covers. She dashed downstairs and filled a jug with cold water, which very soon after was trickling down Will's face and sweaty body. He looked up at her, realized he was naked, and covered his modesty.

  “What you do that for?”

  “Will, I think you have a problem.”

  “I've got a problem? You're the one chucking cold water around, in the middle of the night! By the way - you're naked.”

  Alice had completely forgotten, such was her ease with the state. She grabbed the tee and dived into it. A case of, she thought, after the horse has bolted - but what the heck? She sat on the bed and began explaining to Will that she'd been woken by screams, and garbled talk about tormenting animals. It had taken her nearly ten minutes to wake him.

  Will slowly came round, the cold, wet patch underneath him facilitating the process. He listened to her, and gradually put the pieces together. Will explained that, as a child, he'd seen a ghost - he assumed it was a ghost - of a donkey with a monkey riding it, and a parrot on top of the monkey. “Oh, and the donkey was wearing a striped sombrero.” It was a vision that had haunted him for years, and he had no idea what it meant. Why it had come back now, was not entirely clear.

  Alice was worried. She tried to comfort Will, and he responded to her soothing, but she couldn't help wondering what other nightmares were lurking in the dusty, dark recesses of his mind. Her mothering instincts took over, as she sat and stroked his damp hair. She found a towel and dried him off. Will felt safe in her arms, and she felt unusually needed - which she saw as no burden at all. She got him so
me underwear and changed the sheets. Will needed a fag, so she brought him the baccy tin and a glass of water.

  “More water?” Will was reaching saturation point.

  “I think you had enough alcohol already.” She was waving an empty bottle of Zinfandel.

  Will looked sheepish. He'd overloaded his brain, and his body, today.

  “Thanks Alice. I mean it. I might have died of heart failure, or something.”

  “You worried me. I thought you were going to attack me - and then you mentioned a knife.”

  “Shit, Alice, I'm so sorry. Maybe I should go.”

  “Go? It's your home.”

  “You can lock me out, I'll sleep in the car.”

  “Don't be stupid. I know you wouldn't hurt me.”

  “Of course, not intentionally, but if I'm asleep what can I do?”

  “I'll keep a bucket of water by the bed.” Alice smiled.

  “What if I strangle you in your sleep?”

  “Then I won't know much about it, so no problem.” Alice made light of it, but secretly she was a little alarmed by the thought. She wondered if she should seduce him, go all the way, release some of the tension that had obviously built up inside him. She was scared, but also a little bit excited. The problem was, she'd long since stopped feeling horny. “Let's try to sleep.” She wanted to be back in bed, snuggled up to Will. After that, she'd go with the flow.

  “OK. I'm pretty tired. You sure you want me here?”

  “Quite sure.”

  Will invited her to climb over, as the bed was still a little damp where he'd drowned. She clambered over and tucked her legs under the duvet, stopping to pull off her shirt. He'd seen her naked already - and worse, peeing - and she no longer felt she needed to be modest in his presence. Clothing might be seen as a barrier, and she wanted no such obstacle between them, especially at this time. Will showed no emotion, as if her undressing were normal. He was tired and so hopelessly captivated by her, he didn't dare do anything else that might alarm her. He felt tremendously relieved that she trusted him to be next to her, and that she was not trying to put up a barrier, if a tee shirt could be seen as a barrier. He allowed her to get comfortable and offered an embrace, which she gladly accepted. He was not excited sexually, but aroused and stimulated by her touch, the feel of her naked skin on his, and her sweet aroma. It felt right to be that way, and whatever obstacles he'd previously foreseen were now being washed out of his mind by the overwhelming feeling that this was meant to be.

  Alice had one arm under her head and one over his body, inviting him to press his chest against her breasts. It was a loving embrace, without any unnecessary thrusting or kissing, or the penetration she feared might violate her integrity. If it happened after such an embrace, she'd let it - she knew it could do nothing but enhance the ecstasy. She didn't need it, but she also knew Will didn't, so she happily held her body against his.

  When morning came, the couple had slept soundly, with no further drowning incidents. Alice woke first and found her body still bonded to Will's. She knew she had achieved fulfilment in the night without having to degrade or humiliate herself, or Will. She wouldn't have thought it possible, although she had oft wished it could be so. She wasn't sure how big a part Will had played, because it was a relatively new experience for her to feel so aroused in the presence of a man, but she knew he had been the catalyst, and been there at every stage to hold her hand.

  Will woke soon after, and seemed surprisingly coherent. He felt he'd had the best night's sleep ever and greeted the world, and Alice, with a renewed vigour.

  “Hey.” Alice's tone was soft, soothing.

  “Hey. I didn't murder you then?”

  “Far from it,” she felt a tingle between her legs. “Good dream? Sarah, was it?” She'd noticed he always had an erection in the morning, and it felt OK to tease him now.

  “Umm, yeah, who else?” Will winked.

  Alice held him tight, wanting to feel him against her tingly bits. “Mmmm, I'm so glad you're here.”

  “Where else would I be?”

  “Not here.”

  “Right.” Will felt a mound of soft hair brushing against him, and blushed.

  “Are you trying to seduce me, Miss Alice?”

  “Absolutely.”

  “Oh … OK.”

  Will had no resistance, he was tired of behaving himself. He sensed Alice had experienced some sort of epiphany and suddenly become hetero- or bi-sexual. Either that or he'd been mauled to death by a vicious donkey and gone to Heaven.

  “Is this Heaven?”

  “Ohhh yes.”

  “I meant, am I in Heaven?”

  “Shut up and hold me.”

  “OK.”

  “You're more romantic when you're sleeping.”

  “Thanks.”

  Alice kissed his nose, then licked it with a wet, sloppy tongue. Will would have let her lick him all over, and gazed adoringly into her eyes.

  “I love your eyes. I've never seen such beautiful eyes.”

  “I use them to exert power over men. And hot women, of course.”

  “Well you have exerted me. I mean over me.”

  “Dork.”

  “Yes.”

  “Do you still love me Will?” Alice had a mischievous look in her beautiful, blue eyes.

  “Might do.” Will sensed mischief.

  “Good, 'cos I think I might be pregnant.”

  Will thought about it for a minute. “You're a virgin. Technically. Aren't you?”

  “Am I Will?”

  Will was confused, but intrigued. “Errr....”

  Alice's expression was fixed.

  “Errrr. What are you saying?” Will supposed either she'd lied about being a lesbian, had artificial insemination, or somehow become de-virginized in his company. The latter scenario puzzled him greatly because he thought he understood how babies were made, and had no recollection of making one with her.

  “Not sure, exactly,” she'd have to mull over what led to her dreamy crescendo last night, “But the look on your face was priceless.”

  “You …..”

  Will challenged her to a naked pillow fight, and she accepted. Will lost.

  Chapter Seventeen