Take It

by C. E. Starkweather

  "Is that Eric?" Ben asked, grinning at her.

  "You know it is," she said, smiling back at him. "I'm going to bed. See you in the morning."

  I Think You Should Take It

  Eric grabbed Brandi from behind and put his hand over her mouth. Brandi gasped and stiffened, and Eric tightened his grip. "Think, Brandi. Don't freak out. What do you do now?"

  Brandi stomped on his foot and bit his gloved hand. Eric didn't let go. She wiggled and squirmed, trying to get free. Eric finally let go and Brandi turned to him, tears forming in her eyes. "I'm awful at this," she said.

  "You're not awful. You're getting better every time. But those first few seconds are crucial. You have to take him by surprise. When you freeze up, that gives him time to take control."

  Brandi took a deep breath and let it out. "I'm afraid I'm going to hurt you."

  Eric chuckled at her. "You're not going to hurt me. I promise. Want to try again?"

  Brandi nodded and turned back around. When Eric grabbed her, she stomped on his foot and bit him immediately, sliding out of his arms.

  "Awesome. See? Your quick thinking got you out of the attacker's grip."

  Brandi sat down on the mat. "Yeah, but I knew you were coming for me. If I don't know he's there and he grabs me from behind, I'm going to be surprised."

  Eric sat next to her. "That's why you have to practice. It needs to become a natural reaction for you to act quickly. You're doing great, Brandi. I promise."

  It had been a month since Brandi and Eric had their first date. They had gone out a few more times, but still just as friends. She was feeling very vulnerable, and the last thing Eric wanted to do was rush her into something that she clearly wasn't ready for.

  "So are you looking forward to Thanksgiving?" He asked, grinning at her.

  "I am, actually. Last Thanksgiving was a nightmare. My mom burned the stuffing and went up to her bedroom and cried. I'm looking forward to an actual normal family meal."

  Eric and his parents were going to spend Thanksgiving at Brandi's house with her mother and Ben, who Brandi thought were sort of dating, even though they wouldn't admit it. They clearly had feelings for each other, and her mom was happier than she had been in a long time. Ben was divorced and had a son, but he was spending the day with his mom.

  "My dad actually invited me to spend the day with him and Michelle. I was glad to have an excuse not to."

  "Well at least he's trying," Eric said, laying back. Brandi laid next to him. "He is. But I'm just not ready to see him and Michelle together. I can't look at her and see anything but the 22 year old skank that tore my family apart. I do kind of want to see Aiden though."

  Last month, Michelle had given birth to an 8 pound little boy they named Aiden. As much as Brandi wanted to hate him, he had stolen her heart. He was a good little baby, and Brandi still had trouble wrapping her mind around the fact that she had a brother.

  "Ready to work on some floor drills?" Eric asked, turning to her. She licked her lips and nodded nervously.

  Eric hated practicing floor drills with Brandi, but it was important for her to learn how to fend off an attacker who was trying to rape her. The look of terror in her eyes when he was on top of her was hard to take. He was glad that Brandi trusted him enough to practice with him.

  Brandi laid back and he stood over her. He crouched to get on top of her and she brought her legs to the side, wrapping them over his side. She used the leverage to sit on top of him and grabbed his arms, twisting them over his back. "I win!" She cried, letting him go. He immediately flipped over and pinned her back underneath him. Her eyes widened in fear.

  "Don't let your guard down, Brandi. I'm back in control. Now what?"

  She stared at him for a second, breathing hard. Then she raised her hips to his and grabbed the back of his head, pressing her lips to his. His eyes widened in surprise, and she slid out from underneath him, bringing her knees up and kicking him in the stomach.

  "Shit," he groaned, rolling off of her.

  Brandi gasped. "I'm sorry. Are you ok?"

  He nodded, gasping for breath. "I didn't expect that."

  Brandi watched him cautiously as he sat up. "Did I hurt you? I shouldn't have done that."

  He looked at her and grinned. "Yes, you absolutely should have. Always keep the element of surprise on your side."

  She smiled back at him, relieved that he wasn't angry at her.

  "So, my stomach says that we're done for today. Wanna get something to eat?" He asked, standing up and stretching.

  "Yeah. I'm starving," she replied. She had been eating more lately, realizing that when she didn't eat she wouldn't have the energy to fight off Zack if he came back for her. She was working out a lot anyway, so she wasn't gaining weight. She had gone down a pants size, but her butt was still bigger than she wanted.

  Brandi got into Eric's car, turning up the heat. "Cold?" Eric asked. She nodded. "Let me warm you up," he said, taking her small hands between his. Brandi felt a small tingle when Eric touched her. It was something she hadn't felt since Zack, and she didn't quite know how to deal with it. She would never admit to Eric that kissing him a few minutes ago wasn't part of her surprise attack. It had just happened. She was starting to grow feelings for Eric. Thinking about that made her queasy. It almost justified how angry Zack had gotten when she had gone to Eric's house. Although at the time, there was nothing between Eric and her. Was there? She remembered looking at Eric's pictures and awards and seeing him in a new light.

  "Brandi, are you ok?" Eric asked. "You look sick."

  Brandi snatched her hand away. "I'm just...I'm not feeling well. Can you take me home?"

  "Sure," he said, pulling out of the parking lot. They drove to Brandi's house in silence. "Are you sure you're ok?" Eric asked, concerned. Brandi forced a smile. "I'm fine. Thanks for the lesson." She jumped out of the car and ran inside before he could say anything. Grabbing her phone out of her purse, she texted Kayla.

  Freaking out. Need advice.

  Kayla answered immediately.

  Coming over.

  As soon as Kayla came over, Brandi started to cry. "What's wrong? What happened?" Kayla cried.

  Brandi shook her head. "Nothing happened. I mean...nothing happened today. I mean it did. But..." She took a deep breath and blew it out. "Sorry. I'm not making sense. Let me start over. I think...I think I'm starting to like Eric. LIKE like him."

  Kayla's mouth dropped open and she squealed. "Why is that not awesome? He’s perfect for you, Brandi. Why are you crying? He didn't reject you, did he? Cause I'm pretty sure he likes you too."

  Brandi looked at her hands, trying to figure out what to say. "Remember the day that Zack attacked me? The time he put me in the hospital."

  "Of course I remember."

  "Remember how I went to Eric's to work on the project?"

  Kayla's eyes grew wide. "You guys didn't..."

  "No, nothing like that," Brandi assured her. "But I remember looking at him and thinking that maybe he was different than I had always thought. And I think that's when I started to like him. Then when I got back to the motel..."

  Kayla waited. "I still don't see the problem, Brandi."

  "I told Zack he was being crazy for thinking there was anything between me and Eric. What if there was? How could I have expected Zack to let me hang out alone with a boy I had feelings for?"

  Kayla stared at her, confused. "So you deserved to be raped and beaten half to death because your abusive, controlling boyfriend pushed you away so much that you LOOKED at another guy and thought that MAYBE he was different than you thought he was?"

  Brandi laughed. "When you put it like that, it sounds crazy. I know I didn't deserve what he did. I just...I feel like I finally understand why he was so jealous."

  Kayla rolled her eyes. "You didn't like Eric until the last time you saw him before Zack hurt you. Even if you liked him before that, who cares? You didn't act on it. You never cheated on Zack, and you never gave him any
reason to be jealous. He was jealous because he was an insecure piece of shit. Ok?"

  Brandi sniffed. "I know. But...I realized that I really like him today. It's a lot for me to deal with. How do I even have a normal relationship? I don't even know what that is. How do I ever have sex again?"

  Kayla smiled at her. "Eric likes you. And he's a great guy. I don't think he'd ever pressure you for sex. If the time comes that you want to do it, I promise you that it'll be different than it was with Zack. Normal sex doesn't involve name calling and threats. I mean, unless you're into that."

  Brandi almost laughed. "So what do I do? Should I tell him I like him? I already kissed him."

  "Wait wait wait. You WHAT?"

  "I kissed him," Brandi said softly.

  "Well why the hell am I just hearing about this now?" Kayla cried.

  Brandi laughed. "It wasn't that kind of a kiss. We were practicing self defense moves and he was on top of me. So I kissed him and surprised him enough to fight him off. He thought I did it to catch him off guard. But I really did it because...well, because I wanted to."

  Kayla grinned at her. "That's awesome, Brandi. Not to get all therapist on you, but that's a pretty big step."

  "I know," Brandi said. "But what now? Do I tell him I like him? Should I flirt with him and see if he responds? What if he doesn't like me back? I'm so bad at this."

  Kayla thought for a minute. "You don't have to come out and tell him you like him. Start by doing more stuff together. Not just self defense. If the connection grows, you'll see it. But I really, really don't think he'd reject you. I think you'd make his day. No, his life."

  Brandi rolled her eyes at Kayla's dramatics.

  "Seriously though," Kayla said. "The universe is giving you a second chance at love with a guy who is the complete opposite of that fuckface Zack. I think you should take it."

  "Thanks," Brandi said, hugging Kayla. "I feel so much better. Let me text Eric and apologize for being weird on the way home. What are you doing? Wanna hang out?"

  "I have a date," Kayla said proudly.

  Brandi grinned. "Kyle again?"

  "He's so great," Kayla said dreamily. "And he's nice, too. He hasn't even tried to get in my pants yet."

  Brandi laughed. "Well have fun. Love you."

  "Love you too, bitch!" Kayla called on her way out the door.

  Brandi picked up her phone to text Eric, wondering what to say. Her phone buzzed on her hand and she almost dropped it. It was a text from Eric.

  You ok? You looked upset. Did I do something wrong?

  She smiled at his concern. Just another way he was the opposite of Zack. She texted back.

  I'm fine. I just felt a little nauseous. I'm better now. What are you up to tonight?

  Nothing, why?

  Brandi smiled and typed back. Wanna go out?

  She waited nervously for his response. She had never felt nervous around Eric before.

  Sure. What are you thinking?

  She thought for a second then typed back. My house? I'll cook for you.

  Sounds great. 7?

  See you then.

  Brandi put her phone down. Shit. Why had she offered to cook? She would have to go shopping, and she wanted to have enough time to get dressed. She looked at the clock, feeling relieved that it was only 2. She ran up the stairs and found Ben cleaning the bathroom. "Holy crap, Ben. She's putting you to work?"

  Ben laughed. "No, I thought it would be a nice surprise. I'm living here too, anyway. I should be chipping in. What's up?"

  "Do you think you can take me food shopping?" She asked hopefully. She was more than capable of going herself, but Ben wanted to accompany her when she went out alone. Just in case.

  "Sure. Just give me a few minutes. What do you need?"

  Brandi froze. "Shit. I have no idea. I told Eric I'd make him dinner. I didn't know what to make."

  "Make that chicken thing you do with the sour cream," Ben answered immediately. "I have dreams about that chicken it's so good. I'll miss it after I leave here."

  Brandi's smile faltered when she thought about Ben leaving. He was a father figure to her, and he made her mother happy. But he had his own life, and the department wouldn't pay for her protection forever. "When do you think you're leaving?" She asked. Ben shrugged. "Hard to say, really. Initially it was until he got caught. Nobody thought it'd be this damn hard to find him. But don't worry," he assured her. "Even if they move me, I'll still be around. I'm too spoiled with you and your mother cooking and cleaning up after me. But tell me what made you decide to make dinner for Eric tonight."

  Brandi blushed. "He's just been really nice to me. He takes time out of his day to teach me one on one self defense classes. I just feel like it's the least I could do."

  "Uh huh," he said, studying her face. She hated that he was so good at reading people. "Fine. I like him. And I want to spend time with him. Happy?"

  "Of course," he said, smiling. "You know I like Eric."

  "I know. So hey, what are the chances of you and my mom getting out of here tonight?"

  Ben burst out laughing. "Did you really just ask me if your mom and I would leave you two alone in the house by yourselves?"

  "Just so we can talk," Brandi protested. "Nothing's gonna happen. It's just Eric."

  "Who you just admitted to having a thing for. Sorry, Brandi. I can't do that. But maybe we'll try to stay out of your hair, ok? And maybe, in exchange for that, you make extra chicken for your mom and I?"

  "Deal," Brandi said, grinning. "I was gonna do that anyway."

  "Damn," Ben said, washing his hands. "I should have asked for you to finish cleaning the bathroom. Let's go."

  After Ben and Brandi got home, it was after 3. She still had plenty of time. She looked up pictures of eye makeup online. Maybe she should do more than her usual small bit of eyeliner and mascara. She still had most of her makeup that she had gotten from MAC unopened. She found a tutorial for a silver and black smoky eye and attempted to replicate the look. She was pretty proud of the result. Wearing makeup was extremely liberating to her, since Zack had hated makeup on her. She wondered now if that was actually true or if he just didn't want anyone else looking at her. She put on her dark jeans and a black tunic. She didn't want to be too dressy. She just wanted to show Eric that he was worth the effort.

  At 5, she went downstairs to start dinner. She trimmed the chicken and peeled the potatoes, dropping them in the water. The front door opened and Brandi looked up in alarm. "Hi, honey," her mom said, walking in the kitchen. Brandi blew out her breath, wondering if she would ever feel safe in her own house. "Hi, mom," she said. "How was work?"

  "Oh, you know. Same old. What are you making?"

  "Eric's coming over for dinner," Brandi said. "I'm making chicken. I made enough for you and Ben. He promised to stay out of our way if I made some for you too."

  Lynn grinned. "I can get on board with that. I'm gonna shower. You look really pretty."

  "Thanks," Brandi said. She continued making dinner and at 6:30, she was almost jumping out of her skin.

  Why am I so nervous? It's just Eric. He's been here before.

  But this time it was different. She wanted to see where things went tonight.

  At 7, the doorbell rang. Already having banished her mom and Ben to the living room with their plates, Brandi swung the door open. "Hi!" She said to Eric, who was wearing his contacts. "Come on in!"

  Eric's mouth dropped open. "Wow. You look...wow."

  "Thanks," Brandi said, smiling. "What's this?" She asked, looking at his hand.

  "I hope your mom doesn't mind you drinking wine," he said, holding up the bottle.

  "No, she's ok with it. As long as I don't get smashed or drive. You didn't have to bring anything."

  "I know. But I wanted to. Where are your mom and Ben anyway?"

  "The living room," Brandi said, pouring them both wine. "I bribed them with food so that they'd give us some privacy."

  Eric raised his eyebrows. Brand
i blushed. "You know what I mean. Just so we can talk."

  Eric grinned at her. "I know."

  He sipped his wine and watched as she spooned the chicken and potatoes on their plates. "What's this?" He asked.

  "It's just sour cream chicken. It's really easy to make, but Ben goes crazy for it."

  They sat down at the table and Eric took a big bite of the chicken. "Holy shit, that's freaking awesome," he said, swallowing. Brandi giggled.

  "So are you feeling better?" He asked. She nodded. "Yeah. Sorry about that."

  "Don't be sorry," he said. "You were probably just exhausted. Self defense takes a lot out of your mind and body. And you kind of kicked my ass today."

  She laughed. "Sorry about that too."

  He looked at her seriously. "I'm not."

  She blushed and cleared her throat, forcing herself not to change the subject. "What do you mean?"

  He shrugged. "I mean I'm proud of you. And I had a really good time getting my ass kicked."

  She smiled softly at him. "So did I."

  His eyes widened and he smiled at her. "If every girl who kicked my ass were as pretty as you, I'd be a professional guy who gets his ass kicked."

  She burst out laughing, then her smile faded. "Eric, can I ask you something?"

  "Sure, Brandi. You know you can ask me anything."

  "Do you really think I'm pretty? Or do you just say that to make me feel better about myself?"

  He studied her for a minute. "What do you think?"

  She shrugged. "I don't know. I've never thought I was pretty. But when I'm around you..."

  "Brandi," he said softly, taking her hand. "I think you're the prettiest girl I've ever seen."

  She blushed and closed her eyes, savoring the moment. "I think..."

  She was interrupted by the oven timer. "Shit, hold on," she said, jumping up and taking the cake out of the oven. "I completely forgot about dessert," she called. "It just needs to...ooh!" She said, turning around and bumping into Eric. "Shit, you scared me."

  "Sorry," he said softly. "I just wanted you to finish your sentence."

  Brandi swallowed hard, looking up into his eyes. Kind and gentle. "I think...I want to kiss you."